“But he might come back.”
I pushed every ounce of what I sensed, what I believed, to the surface of my expression, and squeezed his arm. “I’m sorry, Max. He won’t.” I lowered my hand, hurried down the steps, and tried to ignore the sadness in his eyes.
I might have lost Kipp, but the men around me, his fellow comrades, had all lost him for the second time.
My heart wasn’t the only one breaking now.
Chapter Nineteen
The hot sun warmed me as the scents of busy city wafted through my nose. Maybe even heightened since the garbage bins were just to my right.
Max followed me around the side of my condominium to where the air-conditioning units were located. He gave me a puzzled look. “You’ve placed the contraption here?”
“Where else would I put it? It’s not like we have a lot of grass here in downtown Memphis or around my condo.” Probably not the smartest of moves, but with all that happened, who gave a shit. “I wasn’t exactly in the mood to go hunting down a good spot last night.”
He never replied and merely looked forward, as we rounded the corner of the building. The jar sitting in the middle of the circle I cast remained.
Relief surged through me. It might have been my only choice, but I’d have seriously kicked myself if someone had moved it. I was glad to know that as I hoped no one came over to this side of the building last night.
I stopped in front of my circle and peered down. In the light, I saw I had drawn a perfect circle, which pleased me since last night I hadn’t been so sure.
Not until I started did I realize a flashlight would’ve helped. But I’d already drawn the first part of the circle and didn’t think it wise to stop.
“What do you have to do?” Max asked, drawing my gaze to him.
I gestured over to the garbage bins. “Just stand over there. Who knows if something will come out of it. I don’t want you to get somehow magically affected.” I snorted at the thought, but was actually quite serious. I had no idea what would happen.
After I placed my bag on the ground, I took out my notes and unwrapped my wand from the silk. I drew in a deep breath for bravery, tucked my wand into my back pocket and studied the note.
Once I gave it a quick read over, memorized the details, I tucked it into the pocket of jeans.
“I enter this circle in perfect love and perfect trust.” Then, I stepped in, but when nothing happened, I heaved another sigh.
I turned facing north. “Spirits of Earth, Guardians of the North, I call upon you.” I spun toward the east. “Spirits of Air, Guardians of the East, I call upon you.” I shifted to the south. “Spirits of Fire, Guardians of the South, I call upon you.” Then, I faced west. “Spirits of Water, Guardians of the West, I call upon you.”
I glanced down at the circle and the jar rested at the tips of my toes. “Thank you, Guardians, for awakening my spell to protect me.” I took the wand in my hand and drew the circle in the opposite direction. “What once was open is now closed.”
My cheeks warmed feeling more than ridiculous for doing such a spell, exactly my same reaction as last night. This was beyond anything I ever imagined myself doing, but if it worked, it worked. And I’d witnessed the way the demon reacted to the weed Dane lit. How could I doubt something I’d seen work with my own eyes?
I stepped out of the circle, approached my bag, wrapped the wand in the silk, and stuck it into my back pocket. I looked at Max. “I’m glad nothing…err…happened there, and you still have arms and legs with no added tail.”
He didn’t laugh at my joke, and approached. “Is that it?”
“I think so.” I glanced down at the jar. It wasn’t glowing or anything. But I trusted Gretchen and hoped that trust wasn’t misplaced.
I quickly grabbed the hem of my shirt, removed it, leaving me in my bra, then started to pull down my pants.
“What. Are. You. Doing?” Max demanded.
“Just hold these.” I handed him my clothes before I picked up the jar. “I have to rub this stuff on my body.”
He looked everywhere but at me and groaned, clearly stating he didn’t enjoy seeing me in my skivvies.
Within no time, I had the cream that seemed so much smoother than I expected considering it was made of rocks smothered over every inch of my body. And…nothing happened.
I didn’t have an overwhelming surge of energy to tell me that this worked, and that unsettled me. Shouldn’t I feel something?
Again, though, I put my faith in Gretchen and hoped whatever the cream was supposed to do worked.
I took my clothes from Max and re-dressed in a hurry.
Once finished, Max looked me in the eye again and gestured toward the circle. “Do you need to rub it out or anything?”
I chuckled, unable to help it. I hadn’t expected him to believe in all this, but then again, his world had been ripped wide open when he believed in ghosts. Maybe this wasn’t such a stretch. “Gretchen said this closed it. So, I’m guessing that’s all I have to do.”
“Good enough.” He gave a firm nod, turned and walked in lengthy strides toward his truck.
Within seconds, we were headed down the road. On the way, I read over my notes to make sure I didn’t forget anything. Max drove much slower than I would’ve expected. I glanced sideways and tension radiated out of him. “Are you okay?”
“I’m not pleased that you’re going into the house alone,” he replied, keeping his eyes trained on the road.
I chuckled. “The big tough Max has a soft spot for me.”
He jerked his head toward me. “This isn’t a joke, Tess.” His voice was clipped. “I have no idea what you’re dealing with.” Those angry eyes focused back on the road. “Hell, I’m still trying to accept that demons exist. And I don’t want you doing this alone.”
Me neither! And if Kipp was here I wouldn’t have to. But why point out the obvious? We both knew it.
“Trust me, I’d be all for having you come with me, but you don’t have the protection I do.” I fiddled with my fingers in my lap. “Besides, I kinda get the feeling I have more strength to deal with it because of my connection to ghosts.” Why I knew that was so definite was simply beyond me, but I did feel stronger than Max in this regard.
His lips thinned. “My worries aren’t settled.”
Ditto. But I was on my way to deal with this demon and worrying about the what if’s wouldn’t help me. “It’ll be fine.” I hope. “I’ll be fine.”
Not quite sure who was I trying to convince, him or me?
The rest of the drive remained in silence. And when we approached Chelsea Avenue, my nerves rattled me. I gripped the bag on my lap and tried to find a brave bone in my body. It appeared hidden under the mask of sheer fear.
Max pulled up to the curb, stopped the truck, then turned to me. “I’ve changed my mind. I’ll wait out here for you.”
“I don’t think that’s wise,” I countered. “What if it gets out and then…I don’t know…possesses you, or something.” No lightening the mood here. Max’s expression was more firm than I’d ever seen it. “Honestly, I’ll call if I need help. Promise. But Dane was right. You shouldn’t be around for this.”
His brows drew together, but after a long pause, his posture relaxed. “The moment you’re done, or if you run into trouble…” he handed me a radio, “call for me and I’ll come.”
“Will do.” I opened the door, and was just about to get out when Max latched onto my arm, forcing me to glance back at him.
“For God’s sake, Tess, be careful.” His normally strong gaze held deep concern. “Do you hear me?”
“Max...” I mirrored the exhausted sigh he’d made. “I will sure as hell try.”
His hard stare told me he didn’t want to let go, but he eventually did. I shut the door behind me, then turned toward the rundown house and inhaled the warm breeze that carried fresh scents of nature.
I tried to remember what Dane had said. Dammit, I always had the worst memory. I c
ursed that personality trait right now. Sure, I could have called Dane, but I’d rather swallow a nail than see the reason Kipp was gone.
“Michael to my right. Michael to my left. Michael over me. Michael under me.” I snorted, as weird images flashed through my mind. “No, that can’t be right.” I was never going to remember it.
“If you’re there Michael, the Archangel, watch my back, will ya? And get that flaming blue sword of yours out and do some serious ass kicking.”
With a big push of determination, I strode forward and coldness washed across my soul. I rubbed my arms to warm myself. “Kipp,” I whispered. Hoping he’d hear me. Hoping he’d come. Alone, I was scared. With him here, I could take on anything.
But with each step I took, the awareness he wasn’t coming weighed heavily on my shoulders.
At the front door, I opened it, then stepped over the line of salt and spotted the medallions placed there, too. I entered the living room, hearing the floorboards complain under my feet as dust made my nose crinkle.
I’d only taken two steps in before it appeared.
It—the man—seemed to consider me before he said, “She’s returned.”
I wasn’t fooled by the kind look he possessed. The darkness in his gaze gave away the evil that lurked within him, even if by all appearances he seemed like a typical man with short brown buzzed hair, masculine features, and a tall frame. His uniform once again made me pause.
Where had I seen it before?
Not that it really mattered. My concentration stayed on those dark eyes of his. I hadn’t noticed it before, but my lingering disbelief that demons existed faded as I stared one right in the face. “Come to get rid of you.”
“You think you can?” His gaze travelled to the necklace at my throat. “You think that will protect you?”
I fought against the fear rising and attempted to hide it. “I believe so, yes.” I drew in on the strength I had within, pushed it to the surface. “And you wouldn’t be looking at it if you didn’t think so, too.”
“You thought wrong.” The demon shot forward to attack and only a hairsbreadth away it was as if he hit a brick wall. He flew backward, landing with a loud thud on the floor.
In a second, he was on his feet, he cursed in some language I didn’t understand, but sounded scary as hell.
“You can’t hurt me,” I told it.
Thank you, Gretchen. She hadn’t steered me wrong. The medallion might have kept me safe from the demon entering my body, but the cream kept him from even coming close to me.
But my relief lasted a mere second, as a snarl sounded from its mouth, causing me to shake in my boots. He paced in front of me, never taking his focus off me, and Lord he scared me. “Seems that you’ve used further protection against me, but I smell the fear you’re trying to hide. That means you’re not as skilled, or as talented as the protection you have around you.”
I demanded the fear to fade. I didn’t want it feeding him. “I might not be exactly skilled, but I know enough to make you go away.” I pulled the wand from my pocket, unwrapped it from the silk and drew a circle.
The demon cackled. “A circle will do nothing to send me away.”
“So says the demon.”
I finished the circle and repeated the lines to enter it. When my memory didn't fail me and the words I needed to say came quick and clear, I was thrilled. Maybe panic made my brain sharper? Whatever it was, I was glad for it. Then, I stepped into the circle and looked at the demon, who appeared at complete ease.
“I can give you what you want,” he said in what might be taken as an alluring tone.
“There’s nothing you can give me, I assure you.”
A slow grin rose to his face and even those darks eyes seemed amused. “Ah, but you’re missing someone, are you not?” My stomach dropped, breath was lost to me, and I didn’t move an inch. “I can help you.”
Gretchen said this would happen. That he’d offer me something to get me to agree to him. Not that I would. But I was curious nonetheless. “Oh, really, and just how can you do that?”
“I’m a demon,” he said in a proud tone. “My power is endless.”
“Sorry to break it to you, demon,” I retorted. “But I don’t need your help.”
“That ghost of yours is trapped there.” A slow smile spread across his face. “Did you know that? He’s stuck and in turmoil wanting to return to you, but can’t.”
My heart clenched. How did he know about Kipp? I forced my voice out of my tight throat. “You have no way of knowing that.”
“But I do,” he countered. “I know at this moment your ghost is being tortured and is fighting to survive as lost souls devour him.”
I fought against the urge to scream at the horror that might be true, but even I couldn’t stop tears from welling. The images playing in my mind almost crippled me.
Gretchen said not to believe it, but then why did I? Why did the thought of Kipp being stuck seem possible? It’d explain why he hadn’t come back, and that theory almost sat better, as strange as that was. It meant he loved me, and his staying away wasn’t his choice. But believing that meant I had to believe a demon.
The worst part was, I wanted to.
Chapter Twenty
The demon continued to pace in front of me. “I’m growing tired of this game, witch.” He never got too close to the invisible shield around me. “You merely have to decide not to do this and I’ll bring him to you.” There was that grin again. “He would want that.”
I blinked as the trance the demon had woven over me faded. Hadn’t he given me a scenario that appealed to me? Didn’t I want so bad to believe that? To wish that Kipp hadn’t made the choice he did.
And hadn’t I totally fallen for it?
If I stood face-to-face with a demon who could take innocent lives, Kipp would be yelling at me to end this. Not save him. Because one thing was true about Kipp McGowen—he lived and breathed his role as a cop. Nothing would ever change that.
As much as I missed Kipp, I couldn’t go about it this way, even if what the demon said had a shred of truth. I stared at the demon and saw the lie written there in their evil depths of his eyes.
Kipp might be in the Netherworld, but this demon didn’t hold the power to bring him back. And that I believed.
How close had he come to bringing me into his trap? Too damn close. But the demon had made two mistakes. “Sorry about your luck, but I’m not a witch. I’m just a woman that has a seriously fucked up ability. And today isn’t the day that I’m going to believe you.”
The second I shut my mouth, a wave of energy surrounded me, raising every hair on my neck, and made my stomach heave. The man’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he dropped to the ground.
In his place, stood a dark shadow—a downright scary as hell shadow.
It moved so quick I couldn’t even see it and I took that as it was trying to find a way to hurt me. It wasn’t so much as anything said, as it was a sensation that overtook me. I wasted no time.
I dropped down into my circle and with shaky hands, grabbed the mirror out of my bag. I tilted it into every corner of the room, making sure to get all the directions as Gretchen instructed. I drew in a long deep breath, shut my eyes to avoid looking at the demon searching for a way into my protection.
Once my heartbeat settled, I opened my eyes catching sight of it on my right side. And I forced every bit of emotion that lived within me into my voice. “Demon belonging to Baal, return to your house. By the protection of the Guardians to my north, east, south and west, I banish thee.”
Nothing happened.
Sweat formed a cold film on my body. The demon continued to try and break into the protection around me. The black blur whipped around me so fast I could hardly see it, and the stench of sulfur sped through the air.
My confidence shook. Gretchen had been right. I didn’t have the willpower I needed. Without that push from within this wouldn’t work. As much as I’d been going along with this,
I didn’t truly believe myself capable.
The fear I tried to keep hidden stole over my thoughts. My heart thumped, my limbs trembled, and I grasped the mirror tight in my hands, panicking.
Everything I’d done had been steps I’d taken to get my life back to normal. The magic worked because I had no other choice than to believe in it to help me. But here, in front of this demon, I didn’t have enough confidence and because of that, the demon didn’t have to listen to me.
I closed my eyes, fear making it impossible to breathe, as the hissing sound filled the space around me seemingly touching my soul. The demon continued attacking the barrier trying to break through, and sweat dripped along my spine.
“You’re weak.” The scratchy, low voice sounded within the hum in the air.
And I didn’t doubt the demon was right. I was weak, always had been. Kipp had brought strength to my life. Before him, everything was a mess and I was lost. But he handed me stability with his love and now that was gone.
Tears leaked from the corners of my closed eyes and I squeezed them tight. Panic took on a whole new meaning. The only thing I heard now was my cries. For help. For freedom from this moment. For everything that happened since that blasted car crash that led me to now.
But within all that pain, Kipp’s face, his smile, stood out in my mind. The reminder of how much I gained from him. And that made me aware how much I didn’t want to lose it.
This wasn’t over between Kipp and I, not nearly. He hadn’t crossed over. My life wasn’t yet concluded. And I had choices. I didn’t have to be a victim of my abilities any longer, or not guide my own fate.
I drew on that purpose. On that fight to maintain what made me whole. I might be unsure in my steps, lost in the present without Kipp, and not have it all figured out, but Kipp gave me the strength to realize that was okay.
I didn’t have to be perfect and didn’t have to know all the answers, I only needed to try. Give myself the right to realize that just because I’d been dealt a shitty hand, only I controlled how it all unfolded.
Demonically Tempted (Frostbite) Page 14