They’d been an item since I’d met Kipp. I should’ve felt happy since Caley’s longest relationship before Zach had been a week. Now only anger burned that she had him and I didn’t have Kipp. No matter how wrong that was.
“You haven’t been answering any of his calls.” She moved one of the two ice cream containers out of the way to sit down on the coffee table. “You’re damn lucky he hasn’t come here with a battering ram and knocked down your door.”
I stared at my best friend and spoke a truth that had captivated my mind over the last twenty-four hours. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
She scrutinized me then finally said, “But what about all those people—ghosts, I mean—what will happen to them?”
Tears welled and I let them flow freely. My broken heart was exposed, and in the comfort of my friend, it bled. “I only care about one ghost and he’s gone.” I sucked in a ragged breath. “Why hasn’t he come back? He didn’t even let me explain. He just up and vanished.”
Caley dropped to her knees in front of me and pulled the blanket back to hold my hand. Her blue eyes that were normally so full of zest were troubled. “I can’t answer to why he’d do something so cold, but it’s exactly that.” Her tone became curt. “He’s a damn bastard for doing this to you. Even Zach said so.”
I sniffed. “He did?”
“Of course. After all you’ve done to help Kipp, he shouldn’t have left you like he did without any explanation. Who breaks up with someone that way?”
A ghost would. My chin quivered, but I forced my voice to work even though it sounded shaky. “But he was so mad. You should have seen him.”
“I have no doubt he was.” She squeezed my hand, her tone softened. “You were kissing another man. I can only imagine what that would be like for Kipp. But that still gives him no right to just up and vanish without a single word.”
I snuggled into the pillow as pain tore through me. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I miss him, Caley. I miss him so much.”
“I’m sorry, Tess.” She wrapped her arms around me, her chin rested against my neck. “I seriously have nothing to say here and I’m not going to feed you any bullshit about it being all right, because I know for you it’s not.”
I moved away to see tears in her eyes and knew she understood the gravity of my heartache. I could count the times I cried in front of others on one hand, but at the moment I had no strength to hold back. I wrapped my arms around her, hugged her as tight as I could, and allowed myself to collapse into my sadness. To be comforted by the one person I knew would never leave my side.
How much more can I take? First, the death of my family, and now the one man that I’d ever truly loved had not only been complicated at best, but he had also…left me.
Caley said nothing more, merely embraced me, as sobs poured from my throat that spoke of the pain in my soul.
Why?
The question echoed in my mind. But no answer came. Just the hard truth that I now found myself in this situation and no dreaming for a different life would change my reality.
After a long while, I took a deep breath and willed my emotions to exhaust themselves. I wiped my tears and she cleared her own.
“Better?” she asked softly.
“I needed that.” My emotions were more in control than they had been in hours—days—and the release was enough that it settled the overwhelming urge to breakdown. But the heartache remained close enough to know how raw it was.
Leaning away from her, the softness in her expression remained and in this moment, she appeared so unlike herself. Caley was overbearing to extremes and that brought a thought to the surface.
“I’m a bit surprised it took you so long to beat down my door.” When had Caley become patient and knew that I needed to be alone? The Caley I had known from the age of four would’ve been at my house, in my face, an hour after it happened.
She flicked her long flowing blonde hair over her shoulder. “Zach told me to give you some space.”
“And you listened to him?”
“Stop looking at me like that. So I took his advice because I thought he was right and gave you some time alone.” She cocked her head. “Was it the right thing to do?”
A new Caley kneeled in front of me now. I liked this Caley. “If you would’ve come over any time before now, I might have either killed you or disowned you as a friend. I needed this time. So, thank you.”
“See, it was the right decision then. Maybe I should listen to him more often.” She grinned in the classic Caley way, full of spunk. “Or maybe not.”
She slapped my leg returning to her typical pushy attitude. “Get up and go get ready. I know Zach wants to talk with you.” She covered her nose with her hand. “And seriously, you stink.”
I thought too quickly. This was my best friend in spades. Instead of arguing that I wanted to stay on the couch and wither away from existence, I pushed the blanket off knowing she’d win anyway. If I didn’t go into the shower, she’d place me in there, so why fight it?
Maybe it was time to pull myself out of my slump, no matter what my heart told me. And as much as I hated admitting it, Dane had been right.
This hell, heartbreak, and sadness could’ve all been prevented. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with a ghost. I knew it when I met Kipp, and knew then the trouble that came along with it. Those were the repercussions of that choice and no matter where I ran they’d always follow.
But Caley was right too. I had a job to do. A demon to banish, even if that was crazy. I might want to hide from life, but life wouldn’t hide from me.
Chapter Eighteen
After my shower, I dried off, threw my hair up into a ponytail, and dressed in a pair of jeans and button down cotton t-shirt. I strode out of my bedroom and spotted Zach the minute I entered the living room.
“She lives.” He grinned, but beneath that smile held obvious sadness.
I returned the smile, hoping mine showed a little more oomph in it than what was going on inside. “I’m returning from the dead.” Not only returning from my mourning, but in truth I meant it. I was pushing the memory of Kipp aside. Leaving the dead behind me—for now—and returning to the real world.
Kipp had made his choice. I couldn’t control that I hurt him because he didn’t give me the chance to explain. I dropped down on the couch across from Zach and stuffed away the remaining despair that could very well cripple me forever.
Zach studied me for a long moment before he said, “Are you all right?”
“No.” Why lie? Everyone knew I wasn’t.
Zach paused, glancing at Caley, and they shared a troubled look before he turned toward me. “He’s an asshole for leaving you like he did. But I know Kipp. He’ll come back and have a good reason for the time away. Trust in that.”
Tears threatened to rise, but I fought against it. I needed—wanted—to be stronger than this. “No reason he gives will ever be good enough.” I glanced down at my hands, as the truth stared hard at me in the face. “I would never have done this to him. Left him like this, regardless of the situation.”
“And that’s what makes this all the more strange,” Zach said softly. “He wouldn’t have either.”
I lifted my head. “What do you mean by that?”
“Kipp might have been pissed off because he saw Dane kissing you, but he’s not the type to run and hide.” He stared at me pointedly. “Have you ever seen Kipp not confront anything?” No, in fact, I hadn’t. “If Dane pissed him off, he would’ve somehow confronted him, I’m sure of it.”
“He was so mad, though.”
“I have no doubt he was,” Zach countered. “And that makes sense. Why he left you when he did, but the Kipp I know wouldn’t have left you like this. He would have returned and fought for you.”
That’s exactly what broke my heart. “But he didn’t.”
Zach’s lips thinned, though, he did nod in agreement. “That’s what I find so strange. Something doesn’t seem right. He
would’ve come back for you, Tess.”
“He didn’t,” was all I said again.
Silence fell between us. What else could be said? Zach might think he knew Kipp. Even I thought I knew him. But he had in fact walked away from me, went into the Netherworld, and hadn’t returned.
I drew in a deep breath to gather myself, and pushed the broken pieces of my heart down inside of me needing to move on. “I assume you’re not here to talk about this and I’m guessing you’re here to talk about the demon.”
I quickly glanced at Caley, but no emotion showed on her face besides compassion for me, which meant Zach had told her about our situation.
Zach hesitated in obvious reluctance to change the subject, but he eventually said, “After Dane returned to the station and told us what happened, he returned to the house and provided more solid protection to keep the demon locked down.”
“Yeah, I noticed that when I went there.”
“As far as Dane said, the demon can’t get out, and won’t be able to unless someone removes his spells.” He shook his head. “Whatever the hell that means.” His gaze lost its glossy shock and he became engrossed. “Max said you can take as much time as you need, and while I agree with him, I do think we should get this dealt with.”
“Max actually said I could have time off?”
“He’s been worried about you and wanted to give you time to recoup. Besides, Dane said the demon wasn’t going anywhere. But I’m thinking we should get this demon out of here and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”
Shame made me sick. Everyone was looking out for me and I was simply too stuck in my own despair to think of anyone else. Even if I hated to admit it, this all fell on my shoulders. “There’s nothing you can do. Though, it’s nice of you to offer, it’s me that has to deal with this.”
Caley’s eyes went huge. “You’re going to deal with that demon alone?”
I nodded, somewhat reluctantly. “Appears so.”
“But that’s crazy.” Her voice lifted in near hysterics. “We don’t know what it will do you, and frankly, I don’t want to know.” Her hands came to her hips. “I’m not letting this happen.”
Best friend to the rescue. Too bad, she didn’t have a choice in the matter. I focused on Zach. “Where’s Dane now?”
“Home.”
A relief to know he meant what he said, but yet, not so much of one to know I’d be facing this without him. As much as I hated him and I did certainly loathe him, not having him around worried me. But hell would freeze over before I picked up the phone to call him back. “All right. What’s done is done. And I want this to be over with, too.”
Caley was on her feet in two-point-two seconds and glared down at me. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
“I’m thinking, yes,” I murmured.
“You’re not doing this, Tess Jennings.” She gave Zach the same glare she offered me. “You can’t allow this. Are you all crazy?” She waved her hands in pure dramatic Caley fashion. “This isn’t a ghost that wants to cross over and is looking to find their peace. This is a demon that wants nothing less than to destroy lives.”
I stood, took her hands in mine and squeezed. “Listen, I get that you’re worried and you know I love for you for it, but I’m protected. The spell I did last night will keep me safe. Besides, I have Michael to help me.”
“What spell did you do?” Her gaze darted around, as if looking for an answer. “And who the hell is Michael?”
“It’s a cream of sorts that Gretchen—this…um…witch—gave me that repels evil spirits.” I reached into my shirt and pulled out the medallion. “And this is Michael. I’ve got my own personal Archangel to watch over me. So, really, what could go wrong?”
“Everything,” she bit back. “You honestly think a necklace is going to protect you? Or some voodoo shit that seems ridiculous, at best.”
I pondered, surprised by my own thoughts. “Actually I do. I know how crazy that sounds. But the time with Dane wasn’t totally wasted. I see things now that I didn’t before and surprisingly enough believe in it.”
In part because I had cast a circle last night and it somehow seemed more natural than I expected, even if I felt ridiculous doing it. “I’m not going to bring Zach and the others into that house who don’t hold this type of protection. And there just isn’t enough cream for both of us.”
As much as I didn’t want to admit this, I did without hesitation. “I think going to Gretchen to make more of that lotion is just time wasted. We need to end this and I have the means to do it.” I cocked my head knowing exactly how to get her to see sense. “Do you want Zach to get hurt, or worse possessed by a demon?”
Her gaze shifted to Zach, adoration bore in the depths of her eyes before her focus returned to me. “No, I don’t want that. But I love you. And this really scares me. How can you trust Dane?”
I squeezed her hands again hoping to reassure her. “It scares me, too. And I don’t trust Dane. But I trust Gretchen, fully and completely.”
“But what if they’re lying to you?” she implored. “After everything Dane has done. How can you believe a damn word he’s said?”
Good point. And I only had one answer. “Because I have no other choice.”
She regarded me, for a long moment, then acceptance finally filled her gaze. “I want to demand you don’t do this. Lock you in your room and refuse that you take part in this.” She drew in a long breath through her nose, then blew it out. “But this is your life. So, I trust that you know what you’re doing.”
I smiled, this time more genuine. The day had come. “Wow, you’re actually compliant. I’m shocked.”
Her sigh came again and normally when she would have laughed, now her expression remained serious. “Just be safe.” Her palms were sweaty in mine, and I appreciated her worry, loved her for how she cared. “Whatever you have to do, whatever Dane and this Gretchen told you, make sure you do that.” Her fingers bit into mine. “And if he lied to you, if anything happens to you, I’m going to hunt the man down and cut off his balls.”
Most would think she was joking, but I knew better. The threat held strong in the air around us. “I’ll count on that.” I stepped into her arms and hugged her. Caley had always been my anchor in my crazy life, and I sure valued her now.
A knock on the door sounded before Max strode into my condominium. His expression stern, yet beneath it held that kindness that showed I wasn’t just a team member to him, and he thought of me as family. And it also displayed his concern. “Are you ready?”
I nodded, stepped out of Caley’s arms, and smiled at her. “I’ll be back before you know it and life can return to normal.”
She laughed. It didn’t sound amused. “Is anything in your life normal?”
“No.” I shrugged. “But at least, it’ll be demon-free.”
Her features tightened with concern, as she backed into Zach’s embrace. He gave me a nod full of confidence and I returned it. What choice did I have? I’d signed up for this life the day I accepted to fulfill my abilities.
No matter where it took me now. I did believe Dane hadn’t led me astray, nor would he put me in the situation where the demon could hurt me. His advice had proved that he wanted to protect the people in Memphis, and me, even if he went about in a backward-ass way. And the spells Gretchen had given me would provide the protection I needed. I didn’t doubt that.
Max glanced over my face as I approached him. “Dane said that I should wait a block away from the scene to keep a good distance. The second this is over, or if you’re in any danger at all, you will call me. Understood?”
“If everything Dane told me was true, I won’t be in danger. So, there’s nothing to worry about.”
Max grunted, and was that guilt in his eyes? “Dane might know about some things, but that doesn’t mean he knows everything.”
A swell of emotion rose up and nearly hit the surface before I pushed it away. His guilt was easily understood. Max was the reason Da
ne came into my life. But I had needed to learn, so as far as I was considered he’d done nothing wrong. Dane would always remain at fault.
And Max was right, too. Dane knew nothing of love. Instead of voicing my agreement, I said, “Just give me a minute. I need to gather my things.”
At Max’s nod, I headed over to the couch and grabbed my wand from under my pillow. I’d done as Gretchen instructed and kept it close. It might have been strange, but wherever I had gone it went with me. I wasn’t about to screw this up.
Caley gasped. “What is that?”
I considered telling her, but simply said, “You don’t want to know. Trust me.”
She clearly agreed since she didn’t press me further. I entered the kitchen, grabbed the bag off the table that held the rest of the items from Gretchen, and my notes.
“Ready?” Max asked after I returned to him. At my nod, he continued, “Good.” He turned on his heels, strode out through the front door, and left it open for me.
I followed, then glanced at Caley, who gripped Zach’s shirt with her hands. “Hurry back, okay?”
Zach, as always gave his reassuring smile, then I focused on Caley. “Let’s hope I won’t need an exorcism.”
She frowned. “That’s not funny, Tess.”
No it wasn’t. And I hoped it wasn’t true. I gave a little smile in hopes it’d settle her. Seeing that it did nothing to ease her tension, I exhaled, long and deep, then stepped out of my condo, closing the door behind me.
Max waited at the end of the hallway and held the front door open. His features warmed as he offered a kind smile. “You’ll be okay, Tess. You know that right?”
I nodded. “Gretchen said as much.”
“No.” He shook his head, adamantly. “Not that.” He cupped my shoulder, and his touch settled some of the tension in my muscles. “But I have no doubt you’ll do fine today.” His gaze became stern and serious. “I meant with Kipp.”
“How can I be?” I whispered, demanding the emotion that still hung right on the edge of my soul threatening to escape to stay hidden. “He’s gone.”
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