Resisting Her Ex's Touch

by Amber McKenzie

  “She’s going to be okay. We have evacuated the hemoperitoneum and have stopped the bleeding. We are going to be closing in the next few minutes and then she will be going to Recovery, followed by a short stay in the intensive care unit in case she runs into any massive transfusion complications.”

  “Uh-huh.” Kate nodded, trying to process the information she was being given.

  “I’m sorry we had to open her, Kate. We tried with the laprascope but she had too much blood in her abdomen and was too unstable to tolerate it.”

  “But the bleeding has been stopped?” Kate asked, unable to keep herself from surveying the room, her eyes focused on the evidence of what looked like a massive blood loss.

  “Yes.”

  “What happened?” Kate finally asked.

  “That’s not for me to disclose to you, Kate. Chloe will be able to tell you herself later, if she chooses to. I think you should go now and take Dr. Reed with you. She is stable and we’ll take good care of her. You can see her in the intensive care unit in a couple of hours, once she’s settled in.”

  “Okay,” Kate said, resigned, knowing she would get no more from Erin. “Thank you,” she said to the team that had obviously saved Chloe’s life.

  She left the room, gently pushing on the door to make sure it didn’t hit Tate. He hadn’t moved.

  “She’s okay. They won’t tell me what happened, but they opened her, stopped whatever was bleeding, and she’s stabilized. She’s going to go to the intensive care unit for a short while because of the large amount of blood products she received.”

  “Thank you, Kate,” Tate replied. His eyes were still trained on the window and he didn’t budge from his spot outside the door.

  “Tate, they have asked us to leave the operating room and I think we should. She’s stable and there is nothing we can do for her except get in the way and distract the team.”

  “I’m not leaving her.”

  “We’re not leaving her, Tate. We are helping her by getting out of the way and letting them do their jobs. The same thing we ask other people to do for us.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him a little to ease him away from his spot.

  “Tate, we need to go. You know Chloe would never want us to see her like this.” It was true, but she still felt mean, using guilt to move Tate away.

  “Are you in love with Matt McKayne?” he asked, with no reproach or anger left in his voice.

  She was shocked both by the abrupt change in the conversation and the directness of the question itself. So much so that she answered without thinking about her response. “Yes, I think I always have been, even when I hated him.”

  “Then you should be with him. Forget everything that has gone wrong between you and be together.”

  “It’s not that simple, Tate. I can’t trust him.”

  “Kate, that’s not simple,” he replied, pointing towards the door. Then he took one last look through the window and walked away from both Chloe and Kate.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  AFTER DROPPING KATE off at the emergency entrance doors, Matt waited. The admitting office had informed him that Dr. Darcy would be going to the intensive care unit and Matt found his way to the unit’s family waiting room and waited. In the three hours he waited for Kate he replayed all the scenes of the past, including the one tonight.

  She had known it was him. For the first time there was not a single doubt in his mind about whom Kate wanted. She had used his name and kept her eyes open as they had made love and it had been the most powerful sexual experience he had ever had. She really was the most perfect and beautiful woman he had ever met.

  The hard waiting-room chair he sat on and the coffee-machine brew he sipped were a stark contrast to the earlier events of the evening. He cringed both at the coffee and at his unfair resentment and anger towards her pager and her job. It was irrational to feel resentful when Chloe Darcy was fighting for her life, but he still had the feeling. He had finally been getting through to Kate. Physically they were on the same page and he was angry that they were not going to have the rest of the night to work towards resolving the remaining distance between them. There was still some part of the picture he was missing, something that was holding Kate back from opening up to him completely.

  Ever since he had returned he had assumed that something had been Tate. The pair’s past relationship, that first night together when they had almost made love and she had stopped suddenly, the night he’d seen them together at her apartment, and the obvious continued connection and trust between them had left him with little other explanation. But he had been wrong. He was certain now that they were not together romantically. Kate was Kate and she would never have made love with him if she was in love and involved with another man, he was certain of that. So what explanation did he have for her refusal to believe the truth and her violent reaction towards him and his long-ago reasoning?

  He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, having to purposefully steer his mind from the graphic images from earlier tonight that were etched in his mind. The site of Kate and Tate walking through the intensive care unit’s automatic doors helped his cause.

  He studied them, looking for signs of how Chloe was and also in an attempt to define their relationship. There was a familiarity, a trust between them that he envied.

  Kate had changed into her hospital scrubs, the dark blue matching the smudges under her eyes.

  “How is she?” he asked. Tate took a moment to look at Kate, though Matt had no idea what meaning was meant to be expressed.

  “Excuse me,” Tate said, before he walked away down the hall of the busy unit.

  “She’s going to be okay.” Kate’s voice brought his attention back to her.

  “What happened to her?” He knew enough about medicine from his work in medical defense to know that healthy young women did not end up in the intensive care unit without a serious reason.

  “We don’t know. Well, the doctors who worked on her know, but they are maintaining her right to confidentiality,” she replied, her frustration and despair obvious. She pulled the elastic band from her hair, allowing it to tumble around her shoulders in an effort to release tension. He reached out and drew her to him, wrapping his arms around her, and was comforted when she relaxed into him. He didn’t say anything, didn’t want to break this moment of respite between them. He moved his hand up to the base of her head and gently massaged the tense muscles beneath his fingers.

  He didn’t know how long they stood together, but he savored every second. She finally pulled away and stepped back to look at him. “I need to check on Chloe, shower, and get to work.”

  He placed his hands on her upper arms, not wanting to break their connection. “What can I do, Kate?”

  “Nothing, there is nothing you can do. I have a change of clothes and toiletries here so I don’t need to go home. Tate is on nights this week, so between us one of us can always be with Chloe. I need to focus on her, Matt. She needs to be my priority.” There was a clear message in her statement, and Matt knew better than to try to change her mind. Kate would spend twenty-four hours a day at the hospital if that was what it took to do her job and be with Chloe. She had ranked her priorities, Chloe and then work. He wasn’t on her list, despite what had happened between them.

  “Promise me you’ll call me if you need something, Kate. I would also like to know how Chloe does. She seems like a good person.”

  “Yeah, she really is.” She sighed and then drew a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “I need to go. Thank you for being here.” Then she broke free and walked away.

  Matt left the hospital just as the sun was rising in the cold spring air. He stopped at his apartment to shower and change clothes and was in the office by seven. He knew that there was nothing he could do to help with Chloe’s recovery, but he could do the one thing he had been hired to do, and get Kate out of the lawsuit.

  He had reviewed the file and after talking to Tate and Kate he had a clear understanding of the
events of that evening. Tate and Kate had been together, and that night Tate had ended their relationship. Kate had been upset and had made several attempts to talk to Tate and he had ignored her calls to his cell phone. Kate had then been called back into the hospital, where she had been when she’d been consulted on Mr. Weber’s care. After the results of the CT scan had established the diagnosis, Kate had organized Mr. Weber’s care and made attempts to contact Tate Reed as the second on-call vascular surgeon. She had reached him via the switchboard within twenty minutes and Mr. Weber had been in the operating theatre within twenty minutes of that contact. All the medical experts agreed that Mr. Weber’s aortic dissection had not been survivable, based on the extent of damage seen on the CT scan images.

  There was no way the Webers’ attorneys had not had the same medical opinion. It was the most consensuses Matt had ever had on a medical opinion, with all five of the firm’s retained experts plus an additional two independent consultants reaching the same conclusion.

  So what was fueling this lawsuit? Was it Kate’s conversation with Mrs. Weber after her husband’s death? Was it greed? He didn’t think so. He had learned a lot about Mrs. Weber in his preparation and she didn’t seem like the type of woman who would sue for the purpose of undeserved financial gain. Was it love? The couple, by all reported accounts, had been devoted to each other, but, that being said, being in love and losing that loved one alone didn’t typically lead to multi-million-dollar lawsuits. That left guilt. Guilt could lead to just about any action, as he could attest to, based on his own past actions.

  The question he had to answer now was what was there for Mrs. Weber to feel guilt about to the point she would want Mr. Weber’s death legally proclaimed the fault of Boston General and the medical staff responsible for his care?

  Typically, this was the point in the case where the firm’s private investigators would take over and within one to two months would produce the report he needed. But he didn’t have that kind of time.

  He read the file again and then picked up the phone. “Hello,” the voice of a woman answered on the other end.

  “Mrs. Weber, this is Matt McKayne. I represent Boston General in the lawsuit that has been brought against them. I was wondering if we could meet? You are welcome to bring your attorney along, of course, if that would make you feel more comfortable.” Matt waited as there was no response other than the sound of her breathing.

  “Why should I meet with you, Mr. McKayne?” she asked tentatively.

  “Because I want to do the right thing, Mrs. Weber. For your sake, as much as that of everyone else involved in this case.” He was being sincere. Mrs. Weber would eventually lose this case and the longer it went on the more legal expenses she would have, with nothing gained except for more unresolved grief.

  “I need to discuss it with my attorney.”

  “Of course. Ask him to contact my office and we can meet whenever you are ready. I appreciate you talking to me today.” He had no anger towards this woman, despite that fact that she was responsible for the lawsuit that could destroy everything Kate had worked for. If the lawsuit was successful, everything he had given up would have been for nothing. But Mrs. Weber was also a widow. She had already lost her husband, the love of her life. She had lost enough. Matt couldn’t be angry with her, however misguided her actions had become.

  “We’ll be in touch, Mr. McKayne. Goodbye.”

  Forty-five minutes later, her attorney called and an appointment was made for the day after next. That gave him forty-eight hours to find the real reason behind the lawsuit and get the case dropped.

  He was missing something. There were facts somewhere that didn’t add up, with the case and with Kate herself. For the first time in his career he felt inferior to the task at hand. His feelings and involvement with Kate had led him to change his approach, and his focus had been on her and not on the facts of the case. Not that he was succeeding with Kate. Physically, they connected. Emotionally he still felt like they were living two parallel stories.

  He picked up the desk phone again and dialed his assigned paralegal. “Andy, it’s Matt. I want every piece of information we have on the Boston General case. I also want the security video from the emergency department waiting room and the triage area for the night in question.”

  He didn’t wait for a response and hung up immediately. He needed to focus on the case and find the small thread that would lead him to the answer. Would getting the lawsuit dropped win back her trust? He didn’t think so. She wanted something more from him and he didn’t know what that was. He had already confessed to her the truth about his lie and why he had done it, but that hadn’t been enough for her.

  Damn, he couldn’t think about the case without thinking about Kate and last night. He pulled at the tie around his neck and ran his fingers through his hair, squeezing the tense muscles at the back of his neck. Even with her preoccupation with Chloe’s illness, it was going to be impossible to stay away from her. Every part of him wanted to be with her again. It wasn’t just the physical desire. It was her letting him hold her that morning in the intensive care unit lounge and for the first time relaxing and not pulling away. It had been a small return to the way they had once been. He passed his hand over his face and straightened his posture. He needed to separate himself physically from her if he had any hope of finding out the truth.

  Kate shifted uncomfortably in the bedside chair. It was nine in the evening and the toll of the stress and lack of sleep was building by the hour. She felt new compassion for the family members who “slept” in the chairs every night to be close to their loved ones. Her neck and back ached from the awkward positioning and her heart ached from last night.

  So much for closure, she thought to herself. Making love with Matt had done anything but provide closure. It had brought her back to the way they had once been, the way she had once felt, and afterwards she’d had no doubts that she didn’t just love him, she was in love with him. Again. Still.

  The monitor rang and a white tape was ejected from the machine. She looked at Chloe and her guilt was enormous. It seemed so wrong to be thinking about Matt when Chloe was lying in the intensive care unit intubated and unconscious while her body slowly recovered from the massive insult it had been dealt.

  Her red hair made a sharp contrast to the pale hospital linen and the sterility of the room. Hours earlier Kate had brushed it and braided it to the side, trying to maintain some of her friend’s dignity in such exposing circumstances. Her face, on the other hand, blended in perfectly, her pallor severe despite all the blood she had received. Kate reached out and curled her fingers around Chloe’s. She was surprised at the small twinge she felt in response to the action, a reflex she hadn’t expected yet but was grateful for.

  “Chloe, it’s Kate,” she said, though even if Chloe had been conscious she would be physically unable to answer her with the breathing tube in place.

  “Chloe, I’m so sorry I let this happen to you. I should have been a better friend to you when you told me you weren’t feeling well, instead of focusing on myself and my problems. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

  She understood family members more at that time than she ever had in her career. The ones who asked the same questions over and over again, so much so that she was late every morning on rounds, the ones who pushed and demanded for more testing and intervention than was being recommended, and the ones who never left the building, despite your assurances and recommendations to do so. She understood perfectly now that they did those things out of love, guilt, and fear; all in a desperate attempt to bring that person back to them the way they had once been.

  The alarm rang out again and Kate’s focus shifted back to the monitor. Chloe’s heart and respiratory rates were elevated beyond the machine’s set parameters. She was breathing on her own above the ventilator. She looked back and saw Chloe start to move subtly, her head moving back and forth and her arms and hands testing their strength. The alarm had also triggered he
r one-on-one nurse to come into the room.

  “She’s waking up and starting to fight the tube,” the nurse assessed quickly.

  “Page the doctor on call and ask him to come and see if she can be safely extubated,” Kate ordered, temporarily forgetting her role as a friend and not as the physician giving orders.

  She reached out and stroked Chloe’s hair away from her forehead. “Chloe, it’s Kate. Try to stay calm. You are okay. You are intubated and in the intensive care unit but, I promise you, you are okay. You just need to hold on for a few more minutes and I’m going to see if they will take the tube out. If you start panicking they are just going to give you more drugs and leave it in, so you need to stay calm with me for the next few minutes, okay?”

  Kate hadn’t been sure how conscious Chloe was until her eyes slowly opened and they looked remarkably clear, like she had understood every word Kate had spoken. Kate reached out and squeezed her hand, in part as reassurance and in part to prevent Chloe from instinctively reaching for the tube.

  She didn’t break eye contact with her for what seemed like hours, but was actually only minutes, before the on-call intensivist arrived.

  “Dr. Spence, I’m going to ask you to step out while we go through our extubation check list to make sure it is safe to do so.”

  She still didn’t turn to look at the voice, not wanting to break her connection with Chloe. “Chloe, you heard that. I have to leave for a few minutes while they evaluate you. No room for big dumb surgeons on these occasions. I’m not going to be far away, though, and I’ll be back here as soon as they let me, okay?”

  She waited for a sign of understanding and felt relieved as Chloe slowly moved her head up and down on the pillow. She squeezed her hand one last time and then let go, leaving the room quickly before she changed her mind and tried to force them to let her stay.

  Back in the family waiting room she dug into her bag for her cell phone. She needed to call Tate and tell him about the change in Chloe’s condition.