For Love of Emily

by Bonnie Gardner

  “Her not wanting me to be bothered by Ma-Maw’s problem,” the child stated matter-of-factly.

  “I was under the impression you didn’t know.”

  “Come on, Miss Burdette. I may be young, but I’m not stupid. I knew what was going on. People were always spelling things in front of the K-I-D. They kept forgetting that little Emily could spell.” Emily’s voice wobbled a bit. “Even a dumb kid can get a dictionary and look up a word if they know how to spell it. Mom and the doctors didn’t think about that, I guess.

  “She has Alzheimer’s Disease. That’s why she can’t take care of me now that my mom is d-” She gulped like she was unaccustomed to casually making that statement.

  “It’s hard, isn’t it?”

  Emily nodded, her eyes filling with tears.

  “Your father told me. I’m very sorry. If you’d like to talk about her, I’ll be here.” Silver sighed and wondered how she could help. Then, sensing that Emily wanted to be alone for a few minutes, Silver stood. “I’m going to see about supper. How about some of my famous Burdette Burgers?”

  “Okay,” Emily replied and smiled wanly. “I’ll be out to help you in a few minutes.”

  “Thanks, kiddo. No rush. I’ll get things started.”

  Silver was reluctant to leave Emily alone, but even little girls needed their dignity. She resisted the urge to stay and mother. Instead she went to the kitchen and began to work with the blob of ground beef that had been thawing in its tin foil wrapping on the kitchen counter. By the time the blob had become burgers that were sizzling under the broiler, Emily had returned.

  “Mmm, smells good. Where are they?” Emily peered at the top of the stove and the empty skillet resting there.

  “In the broiler. We girls have to watch our waistlines. Broiling is the next best thing to outdoor cooking,” Silver replied as she finished slicing the pickles and arranged them on a plate alongside the other condiments.

  “Oh,” Emily replied, looking doubtful. “Is it health food then?”

  “No way, kiddo. It is healthy food, though. No grease-burgers allowed near me.” Noticing Emily’s doubtful look, Silver added, “Don’t worry. You’ll like them.”

  The buzzer on the microwave called, interrupting Silver’s speech. “Oh, good. The potatoes are done. We’re almost ready to eat.”

  Emily opened the cabinet and pulled out plates and glasses. “I’ll set the table.” She headed for the dining room then turned abruptly. “Do I have to call you Miss Burdette at home?”

  Chapter Six

  The question took Silver by surprise, and she paused a moment before she answered. “I’ll make you a deal. At school, I’m Miss Burdette, but while I’m staying here, you can call me Silver.” She paused then added, “But, if you slip up and call me that at school, you’re in trouble with a capital T.”

  “It’s a deal, Silver.” Emily pronounced the name slowly. She grinned impishly then asked, “Is that your real name?”

  Silver, who was busy removing the hot broiler pan from the oven, smiled. Then she sobered, remembering the last time she’d had to explain. “It’s my nickname,” she finally answered.

  “How’d you get it?”

  “It’s because my hair was so light when I was little, that my Uncle Buddy thought it looked like spun silver,” she said.

  “Nothing mysterious,” Silver added. “Now let’s get the food on the table so you can tell my how wonderful my Burdette specials are.”

  ****

  Silver and Emily had a day and a half to enjoy their new-found closeness when a phone message in Silver’s box at school heralded a change. The message was cryptic, but alarming. Call Col. Harbeson. There was no other message, only a phone number.

  Suddenly, Silver’s legs refused to hold her up. She swayed and caught the edge of the bank of wooden boxes to steady herself. This was no ordinary message. The name on the note was one that Silver recognized from the list of contacts that Thad had left on the counter in the kitchen. The message could not mean good news. What if… ? She couldn’t allow herself to consider the possibility.

  She straightened up and took a deep breath, hoping for courage. The trick did nothing more than to provide her with extra oxygen, which she needed, because she discovered that she had forgotten to breathe. She steeled herself to make the call.

  As was often the case, there was not a quiet place in the office, and the teachers’ lounge was just as crowded. Finally, she ducked into the ladies’ room and dialed her cell phone. The line rang and rang and her concern mounted as the rings continued. Finally, someone picked up.

  A voice came on the line and announced a semi-intelligible greeting. Silver froze for a moment, trying to analyze the meaning of the man’s statement and determine whether she had called the right number.

  “I have a message to call Colonel Harbeson.”

  “This is Harbeson.”

  “I… uh. I’m sorry. I didn’t understand what you said. This is Sylvia Burdette. I had a message to call you,” she finally blurted.

  “Miss Burdette, I didn’t intend to worry you, but you probably realize that I don’t have good news.” Harbeson paused for what seemed an eon before he continued. “Major Thibodeaux has been in an accident.”

  In spite of the colonel’s reassurances, a wave of panic threatened to drown her. Silver hadn’t counted on anything going wrong. She clutched the phone like a lifeline. Bringing the instrument slowly back up to her ear, she prepared herself for the bad news. “Is he… ?”

  “He is recuperating in the field hospital at Ft. Irwin. We’ll air evac him back in a couple of days,” the voice stated.

  Silver exhaled and took a moment to calm herself.

  “Miss Burdette? Are you there?”

  “I’m sorry, sir. I was just trying to compose myself. How seriously was he hurt?”

  “He had an unfortunate parachute landing. He has pretty bad fractures of the right fibula and tibia. That’s both lower leg bones. There’s a lot of swelling so they can’t stabilize them yet. Until they can, they don’t want to move him,” the man said.

  “I see,” replied Silver, more calmly than she felt. “What should I tell Emily?” she wondered aloud. “Should I tell her anything at all? Maybe I could keep everything from her until Major Thibodeaux gets back.”

  “Just tell her that her dad’s got a broken leg, and he’ll be back sooner instead of later.” The man paused. “He’s in no danger, Miss Burdette. I just wanted you to be prepared.

  “You feel free to call my wife if you need anything. I believe that Major Thibodeaux gave you her number. I’ll let you know when Thad should arrive.”

  “Thank you, Colonel. I have that number,” Silver told him. Thoughts swirling, she returned the receiver to its cradle as the bell announced her next class.

  As much as Silver tried to act normally, she found it difficult to carry on her usual routine. She managed to keep herself together through the next period. Since Emily was in a morning block that had already met, Silver could keep the news from her until they got home.

  The lunch bell rang and the classroom emptied quickly. Since Silver had wasted most of her planning period worrying over the phone call, she decided to skip lunch and use the twenty minutes to make up for wasted time. She rummaged through her purse to retrieve a package of peanut-butter-cheese crackers when the classroom door burst open.

  “Silver! It’s horrible!” Emily announced dramatically.

  Silver blanched and dropped the packet and her purse. How did she hear? The crackers skittered across the floor, landing at Emily’s feet.

  “What, sweetie?” Silver tried to sound calm.

  Emily scooped up the crackers and handed them to Silver. “Oops, I didn’t call you Miss Burdette.” She looked at Silver sheepishly. Getting no negative response, she continued. “I forgot to get my lunch money this morning.”

  “Is that all?” Silver exhaled. “No problem. I thought maybe you’d gotten expelled or something.” She forc
ed a wink.

  “Oh, Silver.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Oops! I did it again. Can I have some money before I starve to death?”

  “Of course, you may,” she said, emphasizing the word may. “I wouldn’t want to see you starve,” Silver replied dryly as she fumbled in her purse to find a dollar bill and change. “And I’ll let the slip with my first name go for now because there was nobody else here. Just be careful from now on.”

  “Yes, ma’am, and thanks.” Emily snatched the money and rushed out of the room, then stuck her head back in. “Do you want to sit with me at lunch?”

  “Sorry, kiddo. I got behind in my grading this morning. I don’t have time.” She held up her crackers. “I’ll just have a bite at my desk and work.”

  “Okay.” Emily scooted down the hall to join her friends in the lunch room.

  As Silver tried to open the pack of crackers she had dropped, she realized the toll the calm had taken. It was obviously futile to fool with the plastic wrap so she put the package down. Her palms were so sweaty that she couldn’t get a grip on the slick cellophane, much less the thin pull tab, and her hands trembled. Silver couldn’t make her fingers cooperate well enough to open the package, and her stomach roiled with the tension.

  She probably wouldn’t be able to eat them anyway, so she swept the package into her top desk drawer and forced a sip of the tepid coffee from the mug that had been on her desk since morning. She grimaced, put the mug down, and folded her arms across the pile of tests and laid her head down on them.

  So much for lunch. And the papers really could wait until later.

  ****

  The ride home was excruciatingly short. As she drove, Silver only half heard Emily’s girlish chatter as she rattled on about the day’s activities. Silver’s mind was on how she would break the news to Emily. She knew she had to tell her before she discovered it some other way. The local television station had an annoying habit of broadcasting military casualties, and knowing Emily’s wild imagination, she’d put two and two together and come up with five if she heard anything about the exercise in California.

  “Silver, we’re here. You can get out of the car now.” Emily’s voice interrupted Silver’s jumbled thoughts.

  “What?” Silver was surprised to see they were home. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Did you say something?”

  “Silver!” Emily’s voice rose with childish indignation. “You haven’t heard a word I said.” She looked reproachful.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve had a hard day. And I have something on my mind.” Silver reached for her book bag and leaned heavily against the door to push it open. “Help me with this stuff, okay? We have to talk.”

  “Okey-doke,” Emily replied, as she shoved Silver’s bag closer to her. “I’ll get the door open, since you have your hands full.” She inserted her key in the lock. “Are you mad because I called you Silver at school?”

  Silver couldn’t help smiling at Emily’s eagerness. Then she remembered what she had to tell her, and her smile faded. “No, I’m not mad at you, sweetie.” She started to explain, but the phone was ringing as the heavy front door swung open. Emily dropped her book bag and dashed for it.

  “Emily! Don’t!” Silver cried, hoping to prevent the child from answering the bell. “It’s for me,” she added weakly as the ringing ceased.

  As Silver came up behind her, Emily put the phone down and looked up with eyes wide with surprise. “It’s some colonel, and he wants to talk to you.”

  “Thank you, sweetie. I can’t imagine what he wants with me,” Silver lied as she took up the receiver. Please let him be all right, she found herself praying silently as she brought the instrument slowly to her ear.

  “Hello?” The word was more question than greeting. She listened intently to the now familiar voice of Colonel John Harbeson as he gave her the current report on Thad’s condition, Silver relaxed.

  As Silver replaced the receiver carefully on its cradle, Emily, who had been listening intently to Silver’s side of the conversation, asked, “What was that all about? And remember, I can spell,” she warned, reminding Silver not to try to keep secrets from her.

  “Oh, that man had to tell me some news about your dad.” Silver tried to keep her voice light. She took a deep breath. It wasn’t the worst news; Emily could take it.

  “Will you come and sit down with me?” Silver put her arms around Emily and urged her toward the couch.

  Emily stopped and pulled away. “What’s happened to my dad? You’re acting the way that policeman did when my m—” Her eyes grew wide with alarm.

  There was obviously no way to soften the blow, so Silver told her as gently as she could. “Your dad is going to be just fine. He landed badly and broke his leg. He’ll be home in a couple of days.”

  “Are you sure he’s gonna be okay?” Emily asked, lips trembling.

  Silver gathered the child into her arms and replied softly, “Sure he will. He’ll probably have a big white cast on his leg and, maybe, he’ll be on crutches for a while. I’ll bet he’ll probably let you sign his cast.”

  “You think?” Emily asked uncertainly.

  “Absolutely. Remember when Brent came to school with his new cast after he broke it in football practice? He had it all covered with signatures by the end of the day.” Silver almost had herself convinced.

  “Can we call him?” the child asked hopefully.

  “I’m afraid it would be hard to do right now. He’s out in a field hospital. You know, like on the reruns of M*A*S*H. I don’t know if they have phones there.”

  “I wish I could talk to him,” Emily said shakily.

  “I know you do, sweetie,” Silver replied tenderly, stroking Emily’s hair. “I’d feel better if I could talk to him too,” she confessed.

  “Look. Standing around here with long faces is not going to do your dad any good. And I think he’d be very surprised to see us so gloomy. Let’s cheer up and put on some supper,” Silver suggested in a feeble attempt to change the subject.

  ****

  Thad grimaced as he tried to shift positions in the hard, field cot. The pain in his leg was excruciating, but he’d be damned if he’d ask for anything stronger than the stuff he’d already taken. He deserved every minute of gut-wrenching pain he had for being so stupid.

  As he lay awake in the nearly-empty ward, he tried to replay the events that had led up to the accident, hoping that he could figure out why it had happened. After over ten years as a paratrooper and a stint with the Army Parachuting Demo team, this shouldn’t have happened. He had attended everything from basic jump school to advanced High Altitude, Low Opening training, and he should have been able to make that landing with his eyes closed. It had been broad daylight and the wind was nearly calm. He’d tried to be so careful.

  Too careful. That was it. He’d been too careful. How could that have happened? Who was he kidding? He knew exactly why. Now he had a small person waiting for him at home, not to mention her beautiful, intelligent babysitter. He’d never had a reason to be careful before.

  No wonder he had choked!

  With the complete responsibility of Emily’s welfare suddenly resting on his shoulders, he’d been too tense during the landing. Instead of completing a routine two-point landing or even a less than satisfactory parachute landing fall, he’d tensed and landed stiff-legged. Instead of the tuck and roll of the PLF, he’d screwed his leg straight into the ground.

  When an inflexible object hits an immovable force, what do you get?

  A broken leg, you idiot.

  Why had his being responsible for someone else backfired on him? It wasn’t as though he’d just found out that he had a dependent. Was it because of his attraction to Sylvia Burdette? It should have made him safer, but it had backfired on him. He laughed ruefully. He’d just choked. And, he concluded, it had been his own fault.

  Emily. Miss Burdette. Sylvia. They’d be worried. He had to call them. To reassure them. To hear their voices.

  To reassure himsel
f.

  “Corpsman!” he shouted as he tried to get up. “I have to get to a phone.”

  He hated the rule that made them leave their personal phones with their gear when they jumped. If he had his cell phone now, there wouldn’t be a problem reassuring his daughter. He had her in his “favorites” file. A burly medic arrived and manhandled Thad back into the bed. “Forgive me, Major, but you’re in no shape to be getting up.”

  “I need a phone,” Thad grunted through clenched teeth. “Corporal, I order you to get me to a phone.”

  “Sorry, Major, you can’t pull rank on me here. You can’t get up to get a phone, and I can’t bring one to you. Your commanding officer has already been notified — I’m sure he’s gotten word to your family.”

  ****

  After Emily had been tucked into bed, after all her questions had been answered, Silver tried to read. On Friday nights she always treated herself to a good book to finish over the weekend. She’d tried to read earlier, but had been too tired to concentrate on the printed pages. Yet when she had tried to sleep, her weary mind had refused to shut down. After an hour of restless thrashing, she had given up and switched on the light.

  Though she had always enjoyed reading, and the novel she had chosen was by one of her favorite authors, Silver couldn’t concentrate on the plot. Her mind wandered in and out of the story, and she eventually put down the book and sighed.

  A sound drifted to her. Silver held her breath and listened intently. She sat completely still, but the sound, if there had been one, didn’t return. Perhaps it was the wind, she tried to tell herself. When the sound didn’t repeat itself, she opened the book again.

  Finally, relaxed and drowsy, Silver closed the book and doused the light. As she settled into her nest of covers, she heard it again. Hardly daring to breathe, she listened intently. She pushed herself out of bed as the sound developed shape and form.