Stay Well Soon

by Penny Tangey

  I don’t know what to say. I’m not good at talking to people in high school. Rhys won’t let me talk to his friends anymore because I’m too embarrassing.

  ‘What do you have there?’ she asks, pointing at my piece of paper.

  I look down. I’m still holding the drawing I did for Rhys. It’s a bit crumpled now. ‘Just a drawing,’ I say.

  ‘Can I see it?’ she asks.

  ‘It’s not very good,’ I say.

  ‘I’ll be the judge of that.’

  She is very bossy. I walk towards her and hold the drawing out, not looking at her.

  ‘That’s awesome!’ she says. ‘It’s a horse, isn’t it?’

  I nod. Maybe it doesn’t look like an antelope after all.

  ‘Do you like horses?’

  ‘Yes,’ I say. ‘I love them.’

  ‘Do you have a horse?’

  ‘No. I really want to get one for Christmas. But we probably can’t afford it because of Rhys, and Dad Ben going to Toowoomba and stuff. My friend Charlotte has a pony, but she calls it a horse, and I’m not in the group anymore because I don’t have a horse and you have to have a horse to be in the group, except for Brianna.’ I hope I’m not talking too much.

  ‘What a nightmare!’

  ‘It’s just the way it is.’ I don’t want her to think I am making excuses. I have probably already said too much.

  The girl has finished her cigarette. ‘I like horses too,’ she says. ‘I have a horse called Finnigan, but I don’t get to see him anymore because my dad can’t handle it.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Can I draw a horse for you?’ the girl asks.

  ‘Okay,’ I say. ‘You can use my pencil.’

  The girl takes the pencil and says, ‘Can I draw on the back of this?’ pointing to the picture I drew for Rhys.

  ‘Okay.’ It doesn’t matter if her picture goes through because Rhys doesn’t want it anyway.

  The girl sits on the balcony floor and she draws the best horse I’ve ever seen. It looks almost exactly like my dream horse, Atta Girl.

  ‘Sorry, it’s not great. I haven’t drawn for ages.’

  ‘That is the best horse ever!’

  ‘It’s a drawing of a horse, not a horse. Representations of reality do not equal reality.’

  ‘What?’ I say.

  ‘Sorry, too much time for thinking in here,’ she says. ‘What’s your name anyway?’

  ‘Stevie.’

  The girl writes a message under her picture, then says, ‘Do your parents know where you are?’

  ‘My mum thinks I’m in the Kidz Space.’ Now that I think about it, she might be looking for me and I could be in big trouble. ‘I’d better go back.’

  ‘Do you know the way? The corridors here are a rabbit warren.’

  ‘Not really.’

  ‘I’m finished here. I’ll take you.’

  I follow the girl into the concrete hallway. She turns left and then right again. We go down a flight of stairs. The girl says, ‘Remember, not that door. That door will take you to the kitchen. Full of poisoners.’

  She walks down a corridor to the next door and opens it, and suddenly we’re back in the hospital like nothing has happened.

  ‘This is the fifth floor,’ she says.

  Rhys’s floor. And I know exactly where I am because the Kidz Space is just across the corridor.

  ‘I’m getting the lift,’ she says. ‘So I might see you around, Stevie.’

  ‘Okay,’ I say.

  I look down at her drawing. She has written Stay well soon, Stevie. From Lara.

  On Thursday Morgan is already sitting on the bench outside the portables when I come out with my lunch, which is quiche. I sit on the bench next to her.

  After a while I am sick of reading again. It’s only halfway through lunchtime. I suppose it can’t hurt to talk to Morgan since we are sitting together anyway.

  ‘Do you like horses?’ I ask.

  ‘Not really,’ Morgan says.

  ‘That’s stupid,’ I say.

  ‘Why is it stupid?’

  ‘Horses are so majestic and noble. They’re heaps better than people. Why don’t you like them?’

  ‘My cousin’s horse kicked me.’

  I guess horses don’t like Morgan either. But Atta Girl would never kick me. We would understand each other perfectly. If she was upset about something she would swish her tail and I would know exactly how she felt.

  ‘But I like books about horses,’ says Morgan. ‘Because lots of stuff happens.’

  It is true. Horse books are action-packed.

  ‘But I prefer books about war. Young people dying is really tragic. Like Anne Frank.’

  I was going to read The Diary of Anne Frank, but now Morgan has spoiled the ending.

  ‘What was your last school like?’ I ask.

  Morgan tells me about her old school. They weren’t allowed to have Glad Wrap and there was a two-fruits-a-day rule. You had to bring two pieces of fruit to school each day and eat them, otherwise the teacher would make you have a banana from the general supplies. I would like that because I really like bananas but we don’t get them at home because Mum thinks they’re too expensive.

  The bell rings. I can’t believe the rest of lunch went so quickly.

  *

  When Mum picks me up from school Rhys’s friend David is in the front, so I have to sit in the back. His knees are squashed up against the glove box because our car seat is broken and won’t go backwards. I have not seen David for ages. He used to come over to our house all the time. David used to be short but he must have grown. Also he has new glasses and I think they look nice. Rhys and David stopped being friends when they went to high school, but maybe they are friends again now. It gives me hope for my group because it shows that it can happen.

  David and Mum talk about school. David says maths at high school is really fun and he likes algebra.

  When we arrive at the hospital, I say, ‘I’m going to the Kidz Space.’

  Mum looks at me, ‘Don’t you want to say hello to your brother?’

  ‘No.’

  Mum shrugs her shoulders because, honestly, she doesn’t care what I do. She and David go to Rhys’s room.

  I’m not really going to the Kidz Space. I have other plans. I am going back to the balcony to see Lara.

  I step into the concrete hallway looking for the door to the staircase. I accidentally open the kitchen door and shut it again quickly. Luckily, no-one sees me. I keep going and eventually find the door that leads to the stairs. I go up the stairs and walk along the corridor.

  I open another door and I step out onto the balcony. But Lara isn’t there. Luckily, I have a back-up plan.

  I have drawn a picture of a horse with a message under it. Dear Lara, Meet me here Friday at 4.15. From Stevie.

  I go back to the Kidz Space. It is the first time I’ve actually been in here. I assumed it would be just like the waiting room at the doctors with some stupid toys and chewed-up picture books, but I was wrong. There are two enormous touchscreens with games but kids are already playing on them. There’s also an enormous television but unfortunately it’s only playing The Wiggles. The best part is a huge fish tank in the middle of the room. I walk around the fish tank, seeing it from every angle. There is an actual shark inside. It’s only a small shark, but still. And there are lots of little colourful fish and an enormous blue fish. Last year my class went to the aquarium but I didn’t get to go. This might almost make up for it, and it’s free.

  On the far side of the Kidz Space, a giant window overlooks the park. Along the window are coloured boxes with different objects on top of them. I go over to have a look. There is a kaleidoscope you can look around the room with. The next box lets you make a battery by touching metal with your hands, which makes a lit
tle light come on. They are all science experiments and you would learn something if you read the instructions.

  After I look at all the boxes I lie in a red beanbag near the fish tank and finish reading Rendezvous with the Rose-Grey Mare, occasionally looking up at the fish swimming around.

  ‘Guess what?’ says Morgan when I arrive at school on Friday.

  ‘What?’

  ‘My dad’s taking some stuff to the tip tomorrow and he says I can come.’

  ‘I’ve never been to the tip.’

  ‘Do you want to come?’ she asks.

  I have to think about it. On the one hand, I don’t want Charlotte and April to find out that Morgan and I have been to the tip together. That would not help me get back into the group. On the other hand, I have always wanted to go to the tip and I might find some horse equipment for Atta Girl, like old currycombs, or even a saddle. I’ve heard that people throw away really good things sometimes.

  ‘You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,’ says Morgan.

  Nana Dad Ben says it’s better to regret doing something than to regret not doing it.

  ‘I’ll come,’ I say.

  *

  Mum picks me up late from school. I am very annoyed because I might be late to my meeting with Lara. I go straight to the balcony when we arrive. But there’s no-one there. The note is gone, so Lara must have got it. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to me because she thinks I’m just a boring primary school kid.

  I sit on the tiles and draw another horse. I have to admit, it’s not as good as Lara’s. Maybe I’ll never be able to draw like she can. My bum gets sore from the hard, cold tiles. Nana Dad Ben said that’s how you get piles, whatever they are.

  I stand up and I’m dizzy. I lean against the wall till the dizziness goes away. Maybe I’ve caught what Rhys has and I’ll have to stay in the hospital too.

  When I go back to the fifth floor Lara is there. She is waiting at the lift with a lady who has very flat grey hair and is wearing a puffy black vest.

  The lady says something and Lara turns away and sees me.

  ‘Hi, Stevie.’

  ‘Hi, Lara,’ I say.

  ‘Thanks so much for your note,’ says Lara, but she doesn’t mean it because she’s not smiling.

  The lady says, ‘So you’re Stevie, are you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well, I’d like to thank you. Because of you we found out that my darling daughter was trying to kill herself smoking.’

  ‘I’ve already got cancer, Mum, what difference does it make? Anyway, I wasn’t trying to kill myself, I just wanted to relax. You don’t have to be such a cow about it,’ says Lara.

  ‘Don’t speak to me like that.’

  ‘I just wanted to have one thing in the day to look forward to. Just one thing!’ Lara is shouting at her mother.

  ‘So lung disease is something to look forward to now?’

  ‘Well, how did you find the note, Mum? Hey? What were you doing out on the balcony?’

  ‘I’m addicted. You’re just selfish. And it’s illegal for you.’

  ‘I can’t believe you!’ yells Lara. ‘You are such a hypocrite. I. Just. Want. A. Cigarette. Is that too much to ask?’

  The lift dings and Lara and her mother step inside.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I say.

  The door is closing.

  As it closes Lara’s mum says, ‘I’m sorry you had to see this, Stevie.’

  I go back to Rhys’s room. Mum has gone to get a coffee and Rhys is sitting up in bed but he has his eyes shut. I sit on the chair next to his bed. I am still thinking about Lara fighting with her mum. Lara was really angry and it was all my fault. That is the last time I try to plan a rendezvous. And I am really sick of coming to this stupid hospital every day.

  I remember I have a question for Rhys. ‘Why did David visit you the other day?’ I ask.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I thought you weren’t friends with him anymore.’

  ‘I’m not. He’s just a nerd who doesn’t have anything better to do.’

  ‘Is that why Cameron and that haven’t visited you? Have they got better things to do?’

  ‘Suppose.’ Rhys presses a button beside his bed and the bed reclines back until he is lying down. He shuts his eyes.

  In the car on the way home, Mum seems to be in a good mood.

  ‘Can I go home after school instead of visiting Rhys?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘How am I supposed to pick you up from school, drive you home, and then drive back in the opposite direction to visit Rhys? How does that make sense? Anyway, I can’t leave you at home by yourself every day.’

  ‘But it’s boring for me at the hospital.’

  ‘That’s life.’

  ‘It’s unfair.’

  ‘Well life is unfair, Stevie. Can’t you think about someone other than yourself? I have enough to worry about with Rhys. I don’t have time to worry about you being bored. How would you like to trade places with Rhys? Would you like that?’

  All I have done today is upset people.

  At home there is yet another quiche at the front door. Mum’s friend, Brenda, keeps making them for us so we don’t have to cook.

  Mum is annoyed because Morgan’s parents live at the end of a very long and bumpy dirt road.

  ‘The next time they want you to come over, they can pick you up,’ says Mum.

  There won’t be a next time. I am only going to Morgan’s so I can go to the tip; Morgan isn’t a proper friend.

  Morgan’s house is made of mud bricks and is shaped like a horseshoe with a tall triangle part in the middle. Her dad invites Mum to have a coffee but Mum has to get going as usual.

  Morgan shows me her room. She has a very nice doona cover with red poppies all over it, which matches her curtains. There is a red rug in the middle of the floor. I think it would be perfect for lying on and drawing. Morgan has lots of Lego but she says she doesn’t play with it anymore. We build a Lego bridge. Rhys used to be really good at building with Lego. We made big bridges between the couches in the lounge room.

  Morgan’s dad comes in and says he is nearly ready to go. The trailer attached to the car is full of old stuff. Apparently the old owners of the house left it here. I have a quick look, but there is no horse equipment.

  I can’t wait to get to the tip, but Morgan’s dad takes forever to leave. He keeps thinking of more things to put in the trailer and then he has to tie it all down. He flicks himself in the face with an ocky strap. It leaves a red mark but it doesn’t bleed.

  Finally, Morgan’s dad gets in the car. Morgan and I sit in the back. Her dad has all the windows open and the radio on listening to the cricket, so Morgan and I can’t really talk.

  At the tip we get out of the car and look around. It is not quite what I expected. The tip is all piles of rubbish. It is mostly plastic bags and smelly old food. There is no horse equipment at all.

  One good thing is the bonfire on the edge of the tip. It makes a loud bang and shoots out a can. The can flies towards Morgan’s head. Morgan ducks and it just misses her. We both laugh. It was so close. She could have died.

  ‘Okay,’ says Morgan’s dad. ‘Let’s stay away from the bonfire of terror.’

  We walk in the opposite direction, looking at the piles of rubbish.

  Morgan finds a gold bangle with bright blue stones set all the way around. She finds another matching bangle with green stones. She asks me if I want the sapphires or the emeralds. I choose the sapphires and she gives it to me.

  Morgan tells me a story about the bracelets. They were owned by twin sisters who lived on a big horse farm. One of the sisters had green eyes, and the other one had blue eyes, and that’s why the stones in the bracelets are green and blue. The twins died and the
twins’ father was so upset that he took the bracelets and threw them in the bin. And that’s how the bracelets ended up at the tip.

  I look at the bracelet on my wrist, and it’s like I can see the girl wearing it.

  ‘My twin was called Indigo,’ I say.

  Morgan nods. ‘Mine was called Jade.’

  Morgan’s dad drops me off on the way home from the tip. I am tired so I lie on my bed and look at my bracelet. I think about Indigo and Jade and how they died so young. Maybe I will write a story about them. It will be a great novel.

  Mum should be coming in to say goodnight and turn off my light, but I think she’s forgotten.

  I can hear Mum crying. I wish Dad Ben was here, he would know what to do. I take off my bracelet and turn off the light myself.

  4

  Trampled

  Morgan and I wear our bangles to school on Monday. We hold up our wrists and the blue and green stones catch the light.

  I whisper, ‘Indigo’, and Morgan whispers, ‘Jade’.

  We are standing on the basketball court ready for assembly because the bell is about to ring.

  Brianna comes over to us. She is ready for the assembly too.

  She notices our bracelets straight away because she never misses anything.

  ‘Those are pretty,’ she says. ‘Where did you get them?’

  I say, ‘The market’, at the same time as Morgan says, ‘The tip’.

  ‘Oh my god,’ said Brianna. ‘Word of advice, girls: don’t tell April and Charlotte.’

  The bell rings and we all have to line up.

  We always have to sing the national anthem at assembly. We sing really slowly and it goes on forever. I think about the words and what it means to be Australian.

  Australians all let us rejoice,

  For we are young and free;

  I am young but I am not free.

  We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil;

  We do have soil in the backyard. We need to have a backyard for our dog Angel. No-one ever wants to walk her because she finds poo and rolls in it and she tries to fight other dogs.