“I love you. You’re not going anywhere without me.” Justin’s harsh-sounding confession broke Von. He took Justin to the back of his throat, determined he’d never let Justin regret this night.
Terror choked Justin as he stared down the line of his body at the man at his feet. He’d been through every emotion tonight. Justin had lost the world and gained twice as much in the span of an hour. His head spun from the ride. That was what being with Von was like. It was the highest of highs and the lowest of lows while hitting everything in between. Justin had just agreed to give up everything to be on that ride forever. He couldn’t wait to get started. He wanted to hide in the bedroom.
Von licked his cock while undressing him, stealing every fear. A lump formed in Justin’s throat as he watched Von’s massive shoulders roll with every move the man made. Those shoulders now belonged to Justin in a way they never had before. They’d start a new life in a new town where everyone would know they were together. It was almost as good as getting married. Jesus. This was really happening.
Justin’s head spun. His body’s needs drowned out his worries. Von never gave him time to think. He always bullied his way in. No one could stand against this. Von’s tongue caressed every inch of Justin’s dick as he swallowed Justin’s cock. The man’s throat squeezing him felt too good. He struggled for air as Von hollowed out his cheeks. The man’s mouth was so hot and wet. Von’s fingers dug into Justin’s ass, squeezing and massaging as his head bobbed, allowing Justin’s dick to saw in and out of his willing mouth. All Justin could do was hold on to Von’s shoulders, lock his knees, and let the pressure build. His nerve endings danced with anticipation. Every muscle in Justin’s body drew up tight, bracing for explosion. A half second before Justin blew, Von pulled away and shoved Justin to the floor. He spread Justin’s knees wide, spit on his asshole, and speared him with his cock while finishing Justin off with his hand. Cum coated Justin’s stomach. His greedy ass tried milking an orgasm from Von as his inner muscles pulled the man deeper. Justin’s body burned and sang. He’d never felt fuller or more complete. The sight of Von fucking him was the sexiest vision he’d ever enjoyed. The man’s muscles strained and were hard with lust. He kept hitting something internal, causing tiny aftershocks to ripple through Justin. Justin stared into the face of unapologetic ecstasy as Von came. He whispered Justin’s name. Tears pricked the backs of Justin’s eyes. In that moment, Justin knew he’d never love anyone else. This man was the one for him.
Von wasted no time carrying Justin to bed. Now he couldn’t stop toying with the man’s fingers. Even with millions on the table, Von hadn’t been sure he had enough to offer Justin to convince the man to leave everything for him.
“How long until you have to be in Phoenix?”
Von winced. “Two weeks.”
“Two… Are you kidding me? I can’t be ready to move in two weeks. My house, job, all those things need to be taken care of. I have to sell the house and I’m under contract at work.”
Von could hear Justin’s breaths coming faster with each word. “Take a breath, baby. It’ll be okay. Phoenix isn’t going anywhere. You take care of what you need to here, and I’ll get us set up there. See? We’re a team already.”
A happy-sounding hum came from the back of Justin’s throat, letting Von know he liked hearing that. “It could take months for me to get everything tied up.”
Von released a dramatic sigh. “I suppose you’re worth the wait.”
“Ugh,” Justin groaned while trying to pinch him. “You suppose?”
A low chuckle escaped Von as he easily held Justin’s wrists locked together, saving his hide from any pinching damage. “Stop. You know I’m completely in love with you. I’ll be busy, trying to find my place with a new team. As much as I’ll miss you, it might be best if you’re a little behind me. I’d hate for you to get bored in a new town.”
Justin’s spine bowed as he fought against Von’s hold. “You’d rather I be bored without you in a familiar town?”
Shifting positions, Von released Justin’s hands as he covered the man’s body with his own. He held Justin’s gaze. “Tell me you love me.”
“I love you,” Justin said without hesitation.
“Trust me, okay? I’ll take care of you. If you get bored, meet me on FaceTime and I’ll get you off.”
Justin’s legs brushed Von’s. He writhed beneath Von, making Von’s dick stir. “What about now? How do you intend to keep me entertained?”
“How about a story?”
“Mmm,” Justin hummed, obviously believing this story would be sexual.
Von settled in, bracing his weight so he wouldn’t squash Justin but could continue holding him. “Once upon a time.”
“Oooh, I love that. Very original.”
Von winked. “Actually, it was almost a year ago, but that doesn’t have the same ring to it.” Von sucked in a deep breath when Justin laughed. The sound vibrated against his skin, making Von’s body sing. He cleared his throat. “Anyhow, a year ago, I got hit in the back of the thigh with a stick during a game. He hit me full speed too, so no amount of padding could spare me from the blow. It left one hell of a bruise. After the game, I hobbled back to my room. All my teammates were off nursing their pride from our loss. All I wanted was to be with you.”
“Awww.”
A smile tugged at Von’s lips, but he didn’t stop. “I fell facedown across the bed, trying to ignore the pain in my thigh. It had been a month since the last time I saw you. As usual, you stopped texting me the moment the season started, and I was traveling all the time.”
“I’m sorry.”
Von shook his head at Justin’s apology. “That’s not the point of this story. I caved and called you because I couldn’t stand another second of not hearing your voice. You answered, but you couldn’t play because you were working late.”
“I remember that night,” Justin said, interrupting him. “I expected you to be disappointed I couldn’t meet you on FaceTime. Instead, you asked me to read the notes I had to finish aloud.”
“You read to me until I fell asleep,” Von finished for him. “That’s the night I realized I was in love with you.”
Justin’s expression transformed, sobering. His gaze moved over Von’s face, as if searching for the truth. “Then why the thing with Luka?”
He could tell it bothered Justin to ask, but Von was relieved he had. His few dates with Luka still stood between them, even if Justin never brought up the incident. Von hadn’t given Justin much time to think tonight, but eventually, he would. When he did, he’d realize Von would be working for Luka soon, and the shit would hit the fan if they didn’t talk about everything now.
“Whether Luka ever admits it or not, he was using me to deal with losing the man he loved. I was pissed off because you acted like it didn’t matter if I was in your life. Luka was safe because I knew it was only a matter of time before his man snapped over Luka being seen with me. I was right. They’re now happily married and I’m where I’m supposed to be. You were right to be angry with me over those dates, but I’ve never been good with handling my emotions. The way I feel about you isn’t immune to my ineptitude.” Von pushed Justin’s hair out of his face and forced the man to hold his stare. “I’ll fail you again. It’s bound to happen, but I can promise you it won’t be in the form of cheating. Not only do I not have time for anyone else, there’s no one else like you, and you’re the only one for me.”
“Will you make love to me now?” Justin whispered, melting Von’s heart. “I don’t want this moment to end.”
Von slid his hand up Justin’s thigh, before lifting the man’s leg higher and probing Justin’s ass with his cock. “This will never end,” Von said, making Justin a vow. They were too perfect for one another. Nothing could ever come between them.
6
The eggshell-colored walls of the hospital room he’d been assigned only had one bright spot. Justin stared at it. There was a picture of flowers that were an odd shad
e of pink staring back at Justin. His gaze had fixed upon the picture the moment his mom had gone into full-on panic mode. That was where he’d zoned out. This was a familiar conversation. She wanted to be here with Justin, but she needed to be there in Tennessee with Justin’s dad. Not to mention, she couldn’t afford the trip. In her aggravation, she’d resorted to her usual rant about Justin moving so far away.
“Mom, you don’t have to come here,” Justin argued for the hundredth time. “They put in a Vena Cava filter. It’ll catch any more blood clots that form. This shouldn’t happen again.”
Kate sighed, sounding defeated. “You just feel so far away. I never thought, when you moved away, we’d run into this problem one day. It used to cost nothing to catch a quick flight. Now you can’t go anywhere without it costing an arm and a leg. I fucking hate this.”
“I know, Mom, but I’m okay. This will pass, and I’ll come see you as soon as I can.”
“Is Von there yet?”
Justin swallowed past the lump forming in his throat. Jesus, he wished Von was there. “I tried calling earlier, but there was no answer. It’s hockey season, you know? There’s no more sense in him coming than you. He has a schedule to keep to right now.”
“I know, but I just wish someone was there with you. No one should have to be alone in the hospital.”
“It’s okay,” Justin said, hoping to reassure her. “I have a friend coming.”
“Do you? Or are you just saying that so I’ll quit fussing over you?”
Justin smiled. His mom knew him well, but in this case, he wasn’t only trying to appease her. Hawke had called, wanting to do lunch while he was passing through. Once he’d learned Justin was in the hospital, there was nothing Justin could say to convince the man not to come. “I’m being one hundred percent honest. I won’t be alone.”
Kate blew out a sigh. “All right. As long as you’re not alone, I guess I can survive not being there this one time.”
Justin’s shoulders fell. Relief coursed through him. “Thank you. I’ll keep you posted.”
“Okay. I love you, baby.”
“I love you too,” Justin said before disconnecting the call.
The moment Justin set his phone aside, the door burst open and twenty balloons shoved their way inside. Only around half of them said “Get Well.” The other half were birthday balloons. After much fighting to get them all shoved through the doorway, Jamie’s smiling face appeared from behind the explosion of color.
“I brought happiness,” Jamie announced. Hawke stepped inside behind him. Jamie nodded the man’s way. “Not him. I meant the balloons. Hawke is my happiness. Most of these are birthday balloons because the store I sent my bodyguard into didn’t have much else. I figured, what the hell, you had to have had a birthday at some point that I missed. So get well and happy belated and or early birthday.” A laugh snuck out. Justin immediately regretted it. Who knew having a catheter shoved up the vein in your leg could be so painful. “Oh,” Jamie said, opening the door again. “I forgot the doc was on our heels. Guess I shut the door in his face. Oops.”
Dr. Meyers stepped inside the room, looking more than a little baffled by the mess that was Jamie. The man had most likely been standing in the hall, afraid to come in until after Jamie left.
“Hiya, doc,” Jamie said, closing the door behind Dr. Meyers before offering the closest chair to Hawke and going in search of his own.
“Hello,” Dr. Meyers said, dragging out the word before focusing on Justin. “Why are there security guards posted outside your door? For a minute there, I wasn’t sure I should come in.”
Jamie wiggled his fingers. “Those are mine.”
Justin bit his lip to keep from laughing.
Dr. Meyers focused on him once more. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a fast-moving truck,” Justin said, answering honestly.
The doctor felt Justin’s abdomen and listened to his heart before responding. “I’m not surprised. Are you having any pain?”
“Not really. I’m just sore. More than anything, I’m curious. How did this happen? It’s been months since my surgery. Why did I have another clot?”
The doctor draped his stethoscope around his neck. “We’re still running tests.”
But he had an idea. Justin could see it in the man’s eyes. He could tell by the way the man carefully avoided making eye contact. “I would prefer if you’d be honest with me. Most people might need you to feed them bullshit, but I’m an information is power kind of guy. If you think you’re about to tell me something bad, let me be prepared to hear it.”
Dr. Meyers blew out a sigh, and Justin knew. It was bad. “After your last clot, we didn’t do a lot of testing, because clots after surgery are common. At your follow-up visit, we did run a couple of tests to ensure you weren’t suffering from some form of genetic or acquired hypercoagulation. So we’ve already ruled that out. This time, the clot was random and your white blood cell count is extremely high.”
“Which means?”
Dr. Meyers held his gaze. “Most likely? Cancer.”
The air left Justin’s lungs. He clenched his hands to keep from showing his feelings. Cancer. Fuck. Justin cleared his throat. “What kind of cancer?”
The doctor shook his head. “There are several types of cancer that cause your blood to clot. Really, just about any cancer can cause your blood to react in such a way. We won’t know until we go looking.”
Justin nodded, trying his ass off to hang on to his shit. “Okay. If it’s there, let’s find it.”
Dr. Meyers patted Justin’s knee. “Chances are good, considering your lack of any other symptoms, we’ve caught whatever this is in its earliest stages. We’ll figure it out.”
“All right.” Justin’s voice sounded every bit as numb as he felt.
“I’ll check in on you later.”
Justin nodded. He waited until the man was gone before glancing Hawke and Jamie’s way. They both appeared every bit as stunned as Justin imagined he did. “Thank you for the balloons.”
“Where’s Von?” Jamie asked, ignoring Justin’s thanks.
“He’s—” Justin’s cell phone rang, cutting him off. He glanced down. It was Von. “There he is now.”
Jamie stood. “We’ll leave you alone while you answer that. Would you like something from the cafeteria?”
Justin shook his head and answered the phone. He hadn’t realized until he was moments away from hearing Von’s voice, how much he needed Von. His arms felt heavy and empty. There was a weight sitting on his chest, suffocating him. Justin wished Von could hold him and tell him everything would be all right. He needed Von to make this better. “Hey.”
“Have you seen the news yet?”
Von’s question caught him off guard. “No. I told you yesterday I wasn’t worried about all that. Listen, I—”
“They’ve suspended me, pending a full investigation,” Von said, cutting him off. “It seems dating a league official is a serious no-no, no matter how long ago it was.”
He’d never heard Von sound so dead. “What?”
“Yep. I’ve already hired a lawyer. That’s why I’m so late calling you back. They suspended me this morning, and I went straight to my lawyer’s office. You called a few times. Is everything okay?”
“Um.” Justin didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to add to Von’s burden, but damn, Justin had never felt more alone and adrift. He opened his mouth, searching for something that would bring Von to his side while not making the man’s life harder.
Von cut him off. “I’ve been thinking.” Justin snapped his teeth together and held his breath. There was something in Von’s tone. “In the past two years, I’ve put you through a lot.”
“It was nothing I couldn’t handle.” Justin wondered why he sounded so calm. His doctor had definitely said cancer. Von had been suspended. Now, there was something wrong with Von’s voice. It sounded hard—like he’d closed himself off from Justin.
“You shouldn’t have to handle it,” Von snapped before blowing out a breath, as if he fought to keep his temper under control. “Look, I don’t think you should move here after all.” Everything inside Justin’s brain came to a screeching halt. All he could do was listen as Von destroyed him. “They could have this mess cleared up by tomorrow, but I doubt it, and I don’t want your name dragged through the mud alongside mine. I can’t focus on this and you.”
“Okay.” Even Justin didn’t understand why his brain sifted through all the possible reactions and spit that one word out.
“We’re not over for good. I swear it.”
Yeah, they were. Justin just didn’t have the energy to argue. “All right.”
“I promise I will make everything better later. Right now, I just can’t.”
“I understand.” Really, he did. Maybe Von loved Justin, but he didn’t love Justin as much as he loved himself. He couldn’t breathe. There wasn’t enough oxygen in the room. Yesterday morning, Justin had woken to a bright future. He’d been moving to Phoenix and spending the rest of his life with Von. Now, he had nothing left and might not live long enough for it to matter. Maybe Von was right? Maybe it was all for the best?
“If you don’t want to wait for me while I get this sorted, I’ll understand.” Von kept saying words, and Justin wanted it to stop. Why was he prolonging this?
“Hopefully, everything will work out for you. You deserve all the best things in life.” Justin wasn’t sure if he meant it. He just wanted the call to end.
“Will you be okay?”
Fuck. Justin didn’t know how much more he could stand. “Sure. Jamie and Hawke are here. I have to go.” Without waiting for a response, Justin disconnected the call. He stared at the face of his phone and tried hard not to think. He clicked on Von’s name and blocked him. They were over. Time no longer held meaning. That was Justin’s only excuse for having no clue how much time passed before Jamie and Hawke reappeared.
Pound (Hard Hit #10) Page 6