“Caleb, man, we’re just talking. You need to relax.”
“Get your fucking hands off her, Matt.”
The redheaded girl comes over and asks, “What’s going on here? Oh, hey Matt.”
“Hi.” Matt looks over at me. “You’re late, aren’t you?”
I nod. “Yes. Very.”
“Late for what? Are you guys going out on a date?”
Matt laughs and I snap, “Yes. We are and we’re late. Good night, Caleb!”
I pull Matt outside with me and take in a lot of deep breaths. “That stupid arrogant jerk-face!”
Matt is still chuckling. “Oh, wow. I think you just got me on Morgan’s shit list. Thanks. If he hits me on Saturday, you’d better be bandaging me up.”
I stop walking and turn. “What?”
“Saturday, there’s a party for Caleb. I get it if you don’t show. But I need your help with something. It’s just … don’t take this the wrong way but, you know him better than all of us. What would be his ultimate going away party?”
“I don’t know, strippers, football, alcohol, his friends.” Yes, I am still fuming. At the same time I feel childish and want him to have that moment to remember. I mean, his team is trying to do something awesome for him so I really shouldn’t ruin it with my own pathetic problems.
Matt starts to turn away and I latch on to his arm. “Wait.” Ugh, I hate you, conscience. “Caleb’s favorite beer is Coors Light. He loves Crown and coke, too. If you were looking for alcohol choices. He loves egg rolls. Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and sauce is another favorite. He would probably want to see a few of his friends, Derrick and Lance. I can call and invite them.”
Matt smiles. “Thanks. Really.”
“You’re welcome.” I start to head to my car. Matt is following.
“I’m sorry, you know. That you guys didn’t work out. I think you’re a cool girl.”
I shrug. “I guess it’s for the best.” And isn’t it?
Chapter 18
Caleb
Watching Matt walk out of the library with Skylar pissed me off. For months that son of a bitch has been giving me nothing but shit about dating her for so long. And look at him, with his paws all over her. I swear if I didn’t have to be in this stupid library right now, I’d go kick his ass.
The balls on him, though. Giving me the “You should chill” look. That’s my girl he was all over. Alright, I know she’s not mine anymore because I gave her up, but there is still a bro code. You don’t try to hook up with another’s ex, it’s not allowed under any circumstances. Okay, there is one, if you’re dead and you trusted the dumbass to take care of her for you. But I’m still kicking, therefore this was not cool.
If he knows what’s good for him he will not try hooking up with her. In any case, I should warn Sky. The guy’s a dick. Wait, is it wrong to tell her this? Yeah, okay, I know it is. But here’s the thing: Matt hooks up with anyone. Doesn’t care. Sky needs someone who gives a shit about her wellbeing.
Derrick’s words come flooding back and I feel like a real big pile of shit. She’s trying to heal and here I am thinking about kicking some guy’s ass. Someone who might make her happy. Someone she might be able to have a life with who won’t break her heart. I shouldn’t get in the way. In fact, I won’t.
Exhaling a deep breath slowly, I take a seat at one of the tables. Aiden, my backup quarterback, parks his ass in the chair across from me. He stares at me and mumbles, “The library, man?”
Okay, maybe I picked this place hoping to see Sky. I know. I’m really messed up and stupid. But is it wrong to look out for her while I’m still here?
I shake my head. “A lot of hot, smart girls come here. You’d know that if you’d just look around and quit complaining.”
He grumbles something I can’t understand but looks about the room. His long blond hair reminds me of some beach-bum surfer. He narrows his green eyes at me and I can’t help but laugh. “Stop glaring at me, rookie. Or you can kiss my advice goodbye and I’ll tell coach to look at someone else.”
“What are you talking about, Morgan?”
“I’m leaving. Monday, I’ll be in Indy. If everything checks out, I’m into the draft. I can’t play pro and be here too, now can I? So, I’m giving you the keys to the kingdom.” I pass over two big playbooks. One Skylar helped me make, the other is the coaches’. I have copies of each. Aiden stares at them for a minute. “Aiden, work on them. Trust your gut. Trust your team. Keep an eye on your enemies. And never second-guess your decisions. That’s my only advice.”
Aiden looks up at me as I stand. “You’re really going?”
“Yeah, man.”
“Good luck. And thanks, Morgan. You’re alright.”
I nod and walk out of the library.
I return to my dorm and find Kyle lounging about in his boxers, playing a video game. He adjusts himself right as I’m walking to my bed to collapse. Then his hand regrips the controller. I groan. “Dude! You just rubbed your ball sweat on my controller.”
Kyle huffs, “Quit acting like a chick, man. I repositioned my boys. I’m not about to germX my damn hands every time.”
I’m completely disgusted. How would he like it if I teabagged his pillow or all his dishes? That’s essentially what he’s doing, smearing his sweat all over my things, dirty prick.
He doesn’t look up from the screen but says, “Yo, man. Twat wad Matt stopped by. I fucking hate that douche. Anyways he said he wanted you to come by later. Oh, and I guess tomorrow is a kegger with your name on it or whatever.”
“Sky wasn’t with him, was she?”
“Nah, man.” He hits pause and looks back at me. “I thought you broke up with her?”
I nod. “I did.”
“Then why are you wanting to know if … Oh, hell no. Did you convince her to be a booty call on the side, you sly mother—”
“Kyle,” I growl, “shut the fuck up!”
He sinks a little in his chair and I sigh. “I just saw Matt talking to her in the library and wanted to make sure he wasn’t trying to make a move on her. That’s all.”
Kyle shakes his head with a stupid smirk on his face and glances back at the TV. “Right? That, my friend, is called a regret. Once you feel jealous, you’ve made a mistake. The point of breaking it off with someone is you aren’t feeling that person anymore.”
“And? You’re such an expert in this how?”
“Look, man. I’m not trying to bust your balls.” But that’s exactly how this feels. He gets up and walks over to the fridge. “I’m just saying you wouldn’t feel crap if you made the right choice. Like a few months ago, I was dating that girl, Mindy. Remember her? Short. Blond. Had a lot up here.” He makes a motion to his chest and then says, “But not a lot up here.” He points to his head.
I nod, but honestly I don’t remember her. “Anyway,” he snatches a beer and walks back to his seat. “I broke up with her. A week later she was hanging around some other guy and I seriously didn’t give a shit. That’s how you know you made the right choice.” He points his unopened beer at me. “You, my friend, fucked up.”
I grip my head and wish he’d just shut up. Seriously. I know I lost the girl of a lifetime. Hearing about it isn’t helping.
Kyle starts up his game again and fills the room with the sound of flying bullets, shouted commands, and the tap-tap-tap of controller buttons. I get off my bed and decide it’s a good time to pack my away bag. I know the guys mean well, throwing me a kegger tomorrow, but I really don’t want to go.
By my closet on the floor is the box Sky brought over. I look through it. Every sticky note and message seems to be here, even the ones from high school when she and her mom first moved into my uncle’s house. I read some of notes.
Dinner was good. You rolled your eyes when I told you. So I wrote it down too. I remember writing this. She cooked beef stew and it was the first time I ever ate her cooking. Was a little worried about her poisoning me.
If she calls
I’m not here. Even if I am. I was talking about Danielle when I wrote this.
I love you forever and always. I wrote this the day before my first away game. I remember because it was the first time we slept in the same bed, in nothing but our underwear. She was still a virgin at the time and she said she wanted to practice. I might sound like a total wimp right now, but I loved that night. No sex and all.
I cast the sticky notes aside and pull out a notebook, which I instantly recognize as one of her songbooks. I skim the pages. Most of the songs in here I’ve already heard except two of them. The last one, which looks recent. And somewhere toward the beginning, page twelve or fifteen.
I flip to the last song and read the lyrics.
Is it true? You won’t stay. You’re ready to leave and that’s the end.
Go on, roam the world. This is how it’s going to be.
I’ve done it now. Made you scowl, ready for more? Here let me even the score.
No tears to shed. No reasons. No excuses. Fear is a danger but you know that, right?
There is so much left, but not enough.
I can’t say I won’t love you.
I can’t say I won’t cry.
I can’t say goodbye.
For you are mine. I am yours. Always and forever.
It was perfect until tonight, when you took my heart.
You selfish ass, look what you’ve done.
My nights are lonely. My days are long.
I miss us. Those happy kids. Where did we go? How did we get here?
I can’t say I won’t love you.
I can’t say I won’t cry.
I can’t say goodbye.
For you are mine. I am yours. Always and forever.
“What do you have there?” Kyle asks.
“It’s … it’s Sky’s stuff.”
He nods and says, “I’m going to the bathroom. I ordered a pizza, if it comes, can you just sign for me?”
“Sure.”
He gives me a thumbs-up and leaves. I shove the notebook back into the box and grab my bag. Looking through the box made my mood worse. But I can’t regret my decisions. They’re done.
A knock comes at the door and I groan when I open it. It’s not pizza. It’s not someone who recently pissed me off or is stalking me. Nope. It’s Vince.
“Hey, man. What’s up?” I say and clap my hand into his and we pull into a half hug then pull away.
“Kyle’s got pizza coming. Dude, you look so depressed. What’s up?”
“Nothing much,” I lie.
He shakes his buzzed head. “You’re so full of shit, man. Look, if it’s about your girl, it’s cool. You don’t gotta spill, but you should talk to her. Before it’s too late.”
“It is too late.” I point at the box on the floor and sigh. “What the hell was I thinking?”
“You were thinking that this was a good idea. Or that you thought this was the better option. You know, crazy fans and all.”
I shake my head. “Yeah, I guess. It’s just …”
“You miss her. She’s familiar. What?”
I look at him strangely. I can’t help it. Guys don’t share this kind of stuff. Well, we share about positions and the wildest things we’ve ever done, but never feelings.
Vince throws his hands up. “I’m just saying it’s hard to fully let go.”
I nod. That’s exactly it. I don’t want to fully let go. That means there won’t be a chance in hell to get her back. If, you know, in a couple years she still wants me, that is.
Chapter 19
Skylar
Brie is at her desk, wrapped in a towel and drying her hair. She keeps shouting at me over the noise of the hair dryer. First, if you’re using a loud appliance like a hair dryer or a blender, don’t try having a conversation. The other person more than likely can’t hear a flipping thing you’re saying and they end up nodding to things with no actual clue what’s happening. So as she’s shouting, I’m nodding, not really listening.
She shuts off the dryer. “So you’ll go? Really?”
“Go?”
“To the party. You just agreed you would.”
Damn it! I can’t tell her hell, no now. She’ll know I wasn’t paying attention to her. Ugh. And that will start a fight and I like sleeping in my bed. Because here’s the thing about roommates: sometimes if you piss them off they tend to make your room very uncomfortable for the next few days until all is forgiven. What I mean by uncomfortable is loud, disgusting, raunchy sex at all hours of the night. So you’re either forced to leave or hold a pillow over your head for the rest of the night. If this wasn’t disturbing enough, my roommate will leave a desk light on so I can see it too. Free porn is not always a great thing.
“Are you going to get him something?”
I stare at Brie like she’s lost her ever-loving mind. “Why would I get him something?”
“Because. It’s the last time you’ll see him. It’s like one last screw so you can officially say goodbye. You know?”
I’ve got no clue what she’s talking about. Is this what people do to get the person they want out of their system? It sounds stupid.
She winks. “Think of it like this. You give him a taste of what he’s going to be missing while he’s gone. His loss. Not yours.”
“That sounds like a terrible idea.” Because wouldn’t it be both of our losses? I want Caleb. I’ll always want Caleb. Trying to tease him with something he’ll be missing would torment me as well.
She shrugs. “Fine, do what you’ve been doing. Moping isn’t helping.”
I ignore her. I know she’s right about the moping. But a week’s worth of moping isn’t that bad, is it? Considering everything, the blindsiding breakup, the two years we were together, and let’s not forget how much I still love him. A week’s worth of moping seems reasonable.
Of course, what do I know? This is only the third relationship I’ve ever had. So maybe I am going about this all wrong.
With a sigh, I grab my coat, keys, and purse. “I’ll be back.”
Brie points to the clock. “Just remember the party starts at nine, so be back here at eight so you have time to be one gorgeous, available girl.”
On that note, I smile and leave. I hate to break Brie’s optimistic bubble but there is no way I’ll go back into the dating pond. Not while I’m in school. Focus on my degree, and swimming, that’s it. Relationships will just complicate that.
I drive around and try to decide what to get him. I stop by the CVS and shake my head. “What are you going to do? Get some condoms and say, ‘Bon voyage’?” That’s a terrible idea.
I get out of my car and do just that, though. I buy a blank card, a gift bag, and some condoms. On my way back, I stop at the sport shop and pick up a hoodie, hat, and football keychain.
I return to my room with my bags and start putting his gift together. As I’m getting some extra tissue paper out of my drawer of my desk, something at the bottom of the drawer catches my eye. It’s a dark box, and I swear I can’t breathe.
Clutching my chest, I swallow back some tears and snatch up the evil reminder. I meant to put it in the box of reminders for him to keep. I put it in the gift bag along with Caleb’s gifts.
After wiping away my tears, I write my farewell message inside the card, seal it up, and toss it into the bag.
Brie enters the room laughing with some tall boy with bleach-blond hair following her. She stumbles a little and smiles. “Oh, Sky, this is Travis.”
I nod. “Hi.”
“Hi. So are you ladies ready?”
Brie looks me up and down and shakes her head. “Give her twenty minutes.”
I look down at myself and then at Brie. “I’m good to …” She yanks me from my chair and snatches up my shower caddy and towel, then shoves me out of our room.
“Go shower.” She slams the door in my face. I flinch and walk toward the bathroom. I still can’t believe I agreed to this.
Eventually, though, I’ve got to face him. I c
an’t avoid all future holidays, or breaks spent with my mom and his uncle, just because of him. Besides, this was the risk, was it not?
As I’m showering I hear another set of voices enter the bathroom. One girl is really high-pitched, like she’s a singer or something. I’m not trying to eavesdrop but her voice carries into my stall. “He’s so going to hook up with me tonight. I can feel it.”
“Yeah,” the second voice says. It’s a little deeper, like sexy-sultry. “Has he called you yet?”
“No. But who cares? I’ll be at the party. And I’ve got a special present for him.”
“Well, I think it’s a bad idea. Caleb just broke up with his girlfriend. I don’t think he’s really looking for someone new, Vicki.”
“Shut up! He broke up with her because she’s lame. The girl isn’t even pretty. And God, have you seen what she wears? No wonder he ditched her.”
I finish my shower and wrap a towel around myself. I am not listening to these girls anymore. Caleb didn’t break up with me because of how I dress. When I start toward the door I let my eyes linger on the girls by the giant mirror. The one with short black hair spots me and her jaw drops. The redhead, the same girl I saw in the library, glares at me. “What?”
I say nothing. Just smile and walk out the door.
I go directly into my room and look at Brie. “I need to be really hot. And Travis, you need to leave for, like, two minutes.”
Travis looks me up and down and then looks over at Brie. She smiles and pushes him out into the hallway. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll get her changed and you can come back in here.”
“Alright,” he grumbles.
She closes the door and starts going through my closet. “Oh Sky, don’t you have anything that’s like rawww hear me roar, because I’m sexy, wild, and fun?”
I bite my lower lip. “Um … no.”
Rival Dreams (Rival Love #3) Page 9