by Lucy Rinaldi
She pulls away from me gently and rests her forehead against mine with her hand on my face. “You are so beautiful to me, Callie. You always have been, and you always will be. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you. I can never make the past right, but you have to know how sorry I am. And I’m here now, and…”
“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep.”
“No,” I shake my head and look into her eyes. “I would never do that. Give me one more chance, Callie. One more chance to show you how much you mean to me. Everything we once had, we can have again.”
“We can’t just go back, Hudson. What you see here,” she points to her face, “Is nothing to what’s here” She points to her abdomen. “It’s much worse. He may have ruined my face, but he destroyed my body.”
“I don’t give a damn about your scars, Callie. All I care about is you and me and making things right. I won’t be without you any longer. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you at preschool. Four years old, Callie. Four years old and I knew I loved you. You have to forgive me for what I said before I left. You have to forgive me for everything, baby. Please.”
“I need some time. I can’t just say yes. You’ve been back a couple days. We don’t even know each other any longer. I don’t want to say yes and in a couple of months you change your mind.”
“I won’t change my mind…”
She holds her hand up to me, cutting me off. “You say that now.” That sad smile kills me. She thinks so little of herself that she believes I wouldn’t want her after a few days. Yes, it has a lot to do with the fact I left her, but it has more to do with the fact she’s so scarred, I fear. I’m not gonna give up on her or us no matter what she thinks.
“I love you, Callie Harper. I have always loved you. I won’t give up on you, no matter how hard you try to push me away. I won’t let you. Do you hear me? I won’t let you.” She nods. She knows in her heart that I won’t give up. I wrap my arms around her, bringing her to me, her head on my shoulder. “Everything is going to be alright, baby girl. You’ll see.”
*
Callie and I have spend every evening together this past week. I’ve taken her bike riding, fishing, she’s cooked for me and I her. She’s been so at ease with me since I saw her face. She doesn’t wear her mask when she’s with me any longer, she doesn’t need to, she’s beautiful to me, scars and all.
I love being with her. When it’s just us, she’s the same cheeky, fun loving Callie I remember back when we were together. When others are around, she clams up and lowers her head. I wish I could make her see that not all people are so shallow. People talk because she gives them a reason to by hiding away.
I can’t push her into doing anything she’s not ready for, but I won’t stop until she realizes she’s safe now, that no one is going to pass judgment on the way she looks. And if they do? Well, they’ll wish they’d never been born!
I wanted to spend tonight with her but I couldn’t fob the guys off any longer. I’ve been back in town over a week and I’ve spent most of that time with Callie. In all honesty, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I have spent five years without her, five years I need to make up for.
I drove to Mission, the local nightclub. This town might be small be we have some tourist trade here so the place seems to have grown over the years. Mission is always packed out being the only nightclub around. We have a fair few bars here, well, three, but the town itself is thriving. I hadn’t realized just how well the place was doing until I came home.
When my brother told me he was going to open a hotel in town I thought he was crazy. First off, why would a fireman want to own a hotel? But he told me it was a good investment, it would allow tourists to stay in town instead of driving out of town to stay in other hotels around Portland. We may be a small rural waterfront town off Maine. But Portland itself is only a forty-five minute drive away.
Of course, not many tourists stay here, but with the hotel a lot decide to do so. My brothers hotel, Ryker’s, is thriving. Having the hotel has brought the town plenty of business, which meant a lot more stores were opened up here. I hardly recognized the place when I arrived home.
The summer season is obviously over, which means the town has slowed down. The tourist season is over, having only a few visiting through the Autumn season. Then comes the winter holidays. It snows a lot here during winter. Callie’s favorite time of year. She loves Christmas, always has, and I’m going to make this Christmas special for her. And as December is only two months away, I really need to get planning.
“So,” I almost forgot I was sitting in the middle of damn nightclub with my brother and some of our old friends, including Freddy and Tommy. “You and Callie,”
“What about us, Fred?”
We’re all too old to be here. We’re stuck in a booth drinking beer like teenagers. Not one of us is below the age of twenty-six. Why aren’t we in a pub like most people our age? The place is packed with scantily clad women dancing around horny men. Not my idea of fun these days.
“You guys back together?”
“No,” I sigh and swig my beer. “But it’s not because I don’t want us to be together.”
“Then what is it?” My brother asks with narrow eyes.
“I don’t know.” I really don’t. I’ve made it clear to her that I want us to be together, but something is stopping her from saying yes. I don’t know whether it’s her scars or the fact she still can’t forgive me for leaving her the way I did.
“Ever thought it’s hard for her to forgive you?” Tommy asks as if reading my mind.
“No, Tommy, I didn’t think of that.” I roll my eyes sarcastically.
“Okay, so you did.” Asshole! “She went through a lot after you left”
“She won’t talk about it with me.”
“Maybe she’s not ready.” I glare at Freddy. Are these pricks really so stupid? Of course she’s not ready to talk to me about it. Why would she be?
“Why don’t you guys just tell me. It’s not like you don’t know, is it?”
Each one of them looks at the other. Somethings not right, but I’m not going to push this. I don’t need them to tell me anything. I’m going to have this talk with Callie real soon.
“Forget it, I don’t need to know.”
“Have you seen her face yet?” I nod at Tommy. “And?”
“And what? She’s Callie, she doesn’t look any different to me. I don’t give a damn about her scars.”
“Have you seen the scars on her body?”
I sigh.
What is it with these two? Aren’t people board of talking about her scars?
“No, I haven’t. I don’t think she’s ready to show me that yet, Fred.”
“They’ve seen.” My brother nods towards Freddy and Tommy.
“You have?”
Freddy nods. “We hadn’t until last Sunday. She’s never shown anyone before. And it’s not like she meant for us to see. We were there for lunch like always. Her mother had brought some guy who works at the school with her around for lunch. She was trying to set Callie up with him.”
“Why the hell would she do that?”
He leans forward in his seat, resting his arms on the table at the same time. “Ever since you left, Sidney has been trying to find a guy for Callie. A husband if you will. Then after what happened to her, Sidney has been trying that much harder to find one who will marry her and not care about the way she looks. It backfires every time. Callie usually just tells the guy she’s sorry but she’s not interested. This time, I don’t know, she blew up.”
“Okay?”
“She screamed and shouted,” Tommy says, taking over the conversation. “She stood up and asked the guy if he wanted to be with her, to make love her when she looks the way she does. She ripped that mask off and lifted her shirt. We didn’t see much, but what we did see was heartbreaking. That Henry guy, I think he threw up in his mouth. Callie stormed out. Lora was heartbroken.”
“So was Della. If that isn’t bad enough, Keller hasn’t really looked Callie in the eye since the accident.”
“And don’t forget you left, Sonny. Callie’s probably afraid that if she gives you another chance you’ll walk away from her again. She hardly believes she’s worth anything anymore.”
“That won’t happen, Enzo. I made a huge mistake when I left, but I’m back now and I’m going nowhere. Not without her.”
I won’t be going anywhere without here ever again. Callie is the love of my life. It took me too long to realize that I couldn’t live without her. Maybe I don’t deserve another chance, maybe I should just walk away. Or maybe I should tell her that I will if that’s what she wants. All I care about is her happiness. If my being here is making her feel worse then I shouldn’t be here at all.
“Emilee and Chase are having a few drinks over at their place tomorrow evening to welcome the new baby. Wanna come?”
“I don’t know, Fred, I don’t even know them.”
“Emilee is the girl Callie saved.”
“I know that.”
“Della and Lora will be there. They’re dying to see you again.”
“Who else will be there?”
“A couple of their friends. Jesse and his wife Mia. Paige Monroe.” Oh my god, little Paige. She used to follow me around when she was a kid, always asking me if Enzo liked her. I always told her yes but not in the way she wanted him to. “Wait till you see her.” He laughs and raises his eyebrow suggestively. “She grew up to be one hell of a sexy…”
“Shut your fucking mouth, Jackass!” I choke on my beer and turn my eyes to my brother. Where the hell did that come from? He grumbles to himself before knocking his drink back. Does my brother have a thing for Paige?
“Anyway,” Freddy says pulling the attention away from my brother and his little outburst. “She’s with Kyle Harrison.” My brother shifts in his chair. He’s annoyed about something. As soon as Freddy mentioned Kyle my brothers reaction wasn’t good. Holy fuck, he likes her. And I mean likes her likes her.
“Wow, now that’s a pairing I didn’t see coming.”
“No one did. I guess she got fed up of waiting for Enzo.” He laughs.
My brother grunts to himself. Freddy noticed it too. He just shrugs at me as if to say, your guess is as good as mine.
My guess is, he finally realized he has a thing for Paige the second she got with someone else. Typical of my brother.
“So, you gonna come?”
“Maybe.” I answer Tommy
“Excuse me?” I look up at the pretty blonde, wearing a tight fitting red dress, now standing next to our table. She’s not talking to me, though, she’s addressing my big brother. “Enzo,” He turns to look at her.
Okay, I can blatantly see that she likes him, she’s looking at him like he’s God himself. Oh hell, he’s slept with her it’s written all over his face. She can’t be a day over nineteen. What the hell was he thinking?
“I know this isn’t the time or the place, but I wondered if I could have a quick word with you in private?”
“No,” Came his quick answer.
“Just a moment, it’s really important.”
“At your last hearing test were you told you were deaf?”
“No, of course not.” He nods knowingly and turns away from her. She looks around the table, her lip between her teeth, her cheeks dark pink with embarrassment, noticeable even in the dim lights of this club. Her eyes fill with tears. What the hell is going on between them? “I’m sorry I bothered you. I won’t anymore.” She turns and walks away from us, but not before I saw those tears fall from her eyes.
“What the fuck was that about, Enzo?”
“Nothing!” He snaps and knocks back his bourbon. He motions to the bartender to bring another round. When did he order bourbon? I didn’t even see anybody bring it over.
“Don’t give me that shit. Something is going on. What have you done?”
“Don’t preach to me, Hudson!”
“I’m not. Is she even old enough?”
“She’s twenty-four.” There’s no emotion in his voice. This isn’t my brother, something happened.
“Are you with her?”
“I thought I was.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“She cheated on me.”
“Oh.” Hell! This seems to be a habit with my brother. He falls for someone, they cheat on him, he becomes a mess. “How’d you know?”
“I just do.” He turns to look at me. “It’s always the same. The keeping secrets, refusing to tell me where she’s been. It always ends the same way, right?”
“Bro, you can’t accuse her of cheating if you don’t really know that’s what’s going on. I know you’ve been hurt in the past…”
“This is different.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s in love with her.” Freddy shrugs.
My brother in love? I never thought I’d see the day.
“You’re in love with her?”
He shakes his head without looking at me. “Don’t be so goddamned ridiculous. I don’t do love. So stop making out like I do!” He snaps at Freddy. That sounds more like it. He’s never given his heart since his ex “She who shall not be named” left him. “I liked her, though.” He admits.
“Do you honestly believe she’s cheated on you, or are you letting the past get in the way and cloud your mind?”
“Ever thought she might be pregnant?” I spit my beer across the table. Tommy just laughs. “Lora was the same a few weeks ago. Secretive, sneaking off and not telling me where she was going. I confronted her, wanted to know what the hell was going on. She’d been sneaking off to see her mother and sisters, and then the doctor. She told me she was pregnant and she was scared.” He shrugs.
“She could have told me before all of that, but she wanted to make sure. Autumn is a beautiful girl, Enzo. She’s in love with you. I don’t know how you really feel about her, but let her explain things to you before you push her away like this.”
“Is she? Because last time I checked she was still in love with her ex. I’m just the rebound. Or didn’t you know that?” He snaps at Freddy.
“I don’t give a flying fuck about her love and who she gives it to. If she is pregnant it’s not mine! I’m done being the fucking fool!” I honestly don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know this girl, so I can’t comment on what she may or may not have done.
My brother looks at me, he looks so lost. I don’t know if this girl is pregnant or if she’s cheated, but he does need to talk to her. He needs to find out the truth. I want my brother to be happy. He deserves to be happy. Whether it be with this girl or someone else. But if I’m truly honest, when I look into his eyes, he seems lost because of Paige.
Maybe he just doesn’t know what to do about Autumn. Maybe he wishes she’d cheated so he can end things and maybe try something with Paige. Or maybe I’m just reading into things that aren’t there. I’ve been away so damn long that I’m really out the loop.
“Look at her,” Freddy nods towards the restrooms, and the fact Autumn has just walked out of the door wiping her eyes. She doesn’t look like a girl who’s cheated, she looks scared. “She hasn’t cheated on you, man. Something’s wrong. What if she’s ill and just needed your support. She doesn’t have any family whatsoever, Enz.”
“She’s got a mother.”
“Don’t be such a prick, Enzo. If you don’t want her fine. But at least be a friend to the girl, she looks like she could use one of those right now.”
“Fuck it” My brother pushes past me and walks over to where she’s standing. He can do this, he can fix things with his girl. Because she is his, just looking at her it’s easy to see she’s completely his. Whether he wants her or not, she’s his.
“So, tomorrow?”
Eight
Callie
“She’s so beautiful, Em.”
“Thank you.”
I’ve been sitting for
the past ten minutes on my best friend’s couch holding her newborn daughter. Emilee gave birth two days ago and she’s already home and acting like she’s superwoman.
I envy her.
Baby Harper is just beautiful, she looks just like Aidan, dark hair and no doubt blue eyes. I couldn’t believe it when Chase told me the baby’s name. They gave her my surname as her forename. Harper. They didn’t have to do that, but I can’t deny how much it means to me.
I didn’t really want to come out of my house tonight, but I couldn’t say no to seeing the baby. And she is a beautiful little thing. I will never be able to feel what Emilee feels right now, the love for her child. My chances of having a child of my own was cruelly snatched from me what that man did what he did to me.
Hudson wants us to try again, to rebuild our relationship, but how can we when nothing could possibly be the same between us? He doesn’t know the half of what I hide. He may know what happened to me a year ago, but he knows nothing of what I went through after he left me.
At least he won’t find out from anyone else, the only people that know are my family and close friends, and I know they won’t say anything to him.
“How are things with Sonny?”
“Fine.” I shrug. “Who told you?”
“Della.” She smiles apologetically.
Of course my sister would tell her and everyone else in our group about Hudson and the fact he’s home. Before I was attacked, I told Emilee and Mia about my relationship with Hudson and the fact we were to be married before he left. I told them about the love we shared and the things we did. But I stopped talking about him after I was attacked. I didn’t feel worthy of the memories we shared. Plus, in my head, I felt like he’d forgotten me, so why should I talk about him?
My sisters, Aimee, and Paige obviously know all about our relationship. But Emilee and Mia were dying to meet him and find out what he’s like for themselves. They’ll love him, everyone does. Even as kids everyone loved him.
“He’s out back with the guys.”
“Excuse me?” I can’t seem to shake the shock off my face. I didn’t know he was here and his car isn’t out front, nor his motorcycle. Okay, we’ve spent this week hanging out, but that doesn’t mean he can sneak around with my friends. I feel like he’s stalking me! Okay, that’s probably going a little too far. But still!