Scarred: Hudson & Callie (Oak Springs Book 2)

by Lucy Rinaldi

  “Wanna tell me who or what’s put that beautiful smile on your face?” I shrug at Emilee while smiling behind my coffee mug as she takes a seat at the kitchen table opposite me. “Oh, my god, did you have sex?!”

  “Shh!” I laugh. God, it’s good to laugh. “I didn’t have sex.” She makes a groaning face which just makes me laugh again. “We talked last night.”

  “Talked? Like, you had the talk?”

  I nod.

  I can tell Emilee anything and I know it will never go any further than the two of us. Yes, I can talk to anyone in our circle of friends, especially my sister’s, and God knows I love them, but it’s Emilee who I feel more comfortable speaking like this with.

  “After I left the boutique, I drove home and kind of had a breakdown. Crying like a fool while singing to Cooper.” I laugh slightly.

  “Your mom doesn’t mean what she says, Callie. She was really upset when you left like you did.”

  I’m sure she was. My mother and I have never had the best relationship, but since my accident I’ve felt like I’ve lost more and more of the woman who gave me life. The woman I know deep in my heart doesn’t blame me for what happened to my sister, the woman who loves me just as much as the rest of my siblings. The woman I wish more than anything could look at me like I’m the same as I’ve always been. The woman I wish I could hold close to me and hear the words, I love you, Callie.

  I love my mother, I really do. I love my father too. I don’t want this distance between us. I can’t bear it.

  One step at a time.

  That’s what I have to focus on. One step at a time.

  Everything will work out. And after speaking with Hudson, I know everything will soon be perfect. And I will make things right with my parents if it’s the last thing I do.

  “Hudson told me what life was like for him while he was gone. He suffered a lot after the death of his mother.”

  “And you didn’t suffer after he left you like you were nothing to him?!” I cringe at how loud her voice is. She’s annoyed. Why wouldn’t she be? Everyone in our small circle of friends – except Kyle because none of us can stand him – now knows the truth about Hudson and me. I told them last week. So I’m not surprised by Emilee’s reaction.

  “Yes. And I told him all about it.”

  “You did?”

  “I did,” I nod. “It was time. He told me everything. I told him everything, losing Jemma, trying to kill myself, spending time in that hospital, everything. The only thing I wasn’t ready to talk about was what Dalton did to me. But I’ll get there, you know?”

  She reaches over the table and takes my hand, smiling as she winks at me, “I know you will. I’m so proud of you, Callie”

  “Thank you,”

  “I take it you’re going to give things a real go?”

  “We are” I smile. God, I think my face might split if I keep smiling like this!

  *

  After my lunch with Emilee, I checked on my shop. Not that I needed to my sisters are more than capable of holding the forte. I filled them in on Hudson and me, they’re happy for us. I wanted to tell my mother, but I’m not sure how she’ll react and I don’t need another argument with her right now.

  Right now, Hudson is driving us to the cemetery. We agreed this morning that we’d meet at 5pm and go to Jemma’s resting place. I’ve bought Lilacs with me this time. I like to come here once a week and place some flowers down for her. I bring different ones each time.

  Today it’s lilacs.

  Hand in hand I lead him through the cemetery towards her grave. I just hope he’s not angry with me. His eyes widen when we come to a stop. Why do I feel so nervous? Why is my heart beating so fast?

  “You buried her with my mother,” It’s a statement, and his eyes are locked on the small headstone next to his mother’s larger one.

  Jemma Alice Ryker

  Born sleeping

  Beautiful Daughter

  Granddaughter & Niece.

  “I didn’t want her to be alone. I thought that if she was with her grandmother, they could take care of each other in heaven… I’m sorry,” I hang my head, feeling like I’ve done something wrong when I know I haven’t.

  “It’s perfect.” He squeezes my hand. I look at him looking at the grave and I smile a little. My heart settles, he’s happy with what I did. He looks at me and says, “Thank you,”

  With my hand on his beautiful face, he turns to face me. “I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you.”

  His forehead is now pressed against mine, and I breathe him in. “Never again are we going to be apart. I was not a strong man when I left. But I’m strong now, baby. You can lean on me.”

  “Ditto. If you can’t be strong, I can be. If I can’t, I know you will be.”

  “That’s right,” He smiles before he kisses me. I love kissing him. We may have changed as we’ve grown, but our kisses are still the same. Perfect. “Can I stay tonight?”

  I nod, unable to tell him my fear. I want to make love with him so badly, and I know in his eyes I’m still the same girl I’ve always been. But I’m not. I look like a walking disaster. A medical experiment gone wrong.

  But how long can I fob him off? I know he’d wait forever for me. Until I’ve had corrective surgery at least. Which isn’t far away now. Just a few days until I have surgery on my face to correct the damage there.

  “Get out of your head, Callie.” I narrow my eyes at him. This man has always seen through me, always been able to read my mind. He strokes my cheek and smiles. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. But I want to see you, baby”. He touches my stomach through my coat and I shudder. “Don’t hide from me. Trust me as you once did, baby girl.”

  I can do nothing but nod and think to myself, This is Hudson, the man who loves me and will not look at me like I’m a monster. There is nothing for me to fear but fear itself.

  Fourteen

  Hudson

  I slide the silk slip over her shoulders. Her arms are locked so tightly by her sides that the slip doesn’t move. I know how nervous she is right now and I want to make this as easy for her as I can.

  After we visited out baby, I took her for dinner. We ate and talked, laughed and reminisced. I brought her home around 8 pm. I’d already asked if I could stay with her, she’s nodded her agreement. She showered, then I did. I came out of her bathroom with a towel around my waist, and there she stood looking nervous.

  I walked towards her and she told me, “I’m ready to show you.”

  I still have my doubts. She looks terrified. “You don’t have to do this, Callie,” I tell her while stroking her face. I understand how scary this must be for her. All I want is to show her that there is nothing to be scared of. Seeing her body the way it is now will not make me run from her. But if she is really that scared to show me then I can wait until after her corrective surgeries.

  Not that I want that. I don’t want her to feel like hiding from me until she feels “Perfect” She has always been perfect to me, no matter what.

  She leans into my touch with her eyes closed for a second. “I’m scared, Hudson. Not because I think you’ll be disgusted. Not because I think you’ll run for the hills and never look back. But because I don’t feel very good about myself.”

  “I know this is hard. But once you’ve taken this step everything will seem so much better inside your head. And I know it doesn’t feel like that right now, baby, but this is me.” I place her hand over my heart and hold it there. “I have loved you for longer than I can remember. You are everything to me, Callie. Nothing about you could ever change that.”

  You can’t make someone believe the words you’re saying. Especially when they believe they’re anything but the person you once knew. Callie is the woman I have loved since I was a child. She’s been through hell, but she survived, and now I have to help her find herself again.

  She nods her head. “I love you, too.” Then she takes a step back from
me, takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and drop the night slip to the floor.

  I look at her beautiful face, eyes close, breathing deep through her nose. Slowly I slide my eyes down her body, past her bra covered breasts until they land on the damage so very visible across her abdomen.

  I swallow the gasp that almost escaped me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find Callie disgusting in any way. I find what happened to her disgusting. The massive, thick, misshapen scars all over her body, god, I can only imagine what that cunt did to her. She hasn’t told me herself what happened yet, but I know that’s the next step. And I don’t honestly think I’ll ever be ready to hear it, but I’ll listen to everything she has to say to me. Everything she has to tell me about that terrible time, and I will hold her so fucking close to me until she finally understands that it’s all over now, we’re together and that’s how it’s gonna stay.

  She sobs quietly as my fingertips slide over her scars. Scars don’t scare me. Hell, my brother has collected a few over the years. I may not have physical scars, but have plenty inside of me. I know they’re not the same thing, but they hurt just the same.

  I get to my knees, one hand stroking the bullet wound scar on her back, the other holding her hip as my lips touch the mess of scars on her stomach. She sobs heart-wrenchingly. And I feel the emotions of it myself.

  Tears slip from my eyes and I lie my head against her stomach. Her hands slide around my head, holding me to her. “I’m not going to say sorry, I think you’ve probably heard that one too many times” I tell her, “But I am going to tell you how proud I am of you.”

  “Proud?” She asks quietly.

  “Yes, proud. You are the most selfless person I have ever known. You went through something I doubt many would’ve come back from. But you survived, baby. You survived and it’s time to start living again.”

  I look up at her, hoping she’s not only listening to what I’m saying, but hearing it. She gets to her knees in front of me and takes my hands in hers. “I’ve been too scared to let anyone in since this happened. I’m still me when I’m with my friends, but it wasn’t until you walked back in my life that I wanted to really live.”

  “It’s time, baby,”

  She nods. “I know, and I’m ready now, Hudson. I’m ready.”

  I get to my feet, lift her in my arms and carry her to our bed. Ours because as presumptuous as it is, I’m not leaving again. This is our home, mine and Callie’s. I built it for us six years ago, a place we could grow old together. It’s time for me to come home.

  I lay her down and climb between her already parted legs. I said I wouldn’t rush her, but I know she’s ready for this. “You’re so beautiful, Callie. Thank you, baby.”

  “Thank you?”

  “For loving me enough to forgive me.”

  She lays her hand on my face with a smile on hers. “You are the only man I have ever loved. I would forgive you anything.” Typical Callie. Perfect girl that she is. “Make love to me, Hudson.”

  She doesn’t have to ask me twice. We’re kissing like we’ve never kissed before. I rip the towel from my body and grind my erection against her pantie-clad pussy. She’s groaning into my mouth. I can feel her wetness and I’m so turned on I have to tell myself to calm down before I blow my load.

  I pop the front clasp on her bra, her breasts spill out and my mouth instantly latches on, sucking her erect nipple, rolling my tongue over it. I love her breasts, always so damn soft.

  he’s bucking her hips against me so fast I know she’s already close. “Please, Hudson! I’m so wet, I feel like I’m peeing myself!”

  I lean up on my knees, grab her panties and rip them from her body. I need to be inside of her, but not before I’ve tasted what’s mine. What I’ve missed for five unforgivable years.

  That first lick brings back all those memories of us together. The first time I ever did this we were fifteen, we weren’t ready for sex, but we couldn’t help touching each other. I went down on her first, made her come so hard she couldn’t speak for twenty minutes after. I asked if she was okay, she pushed me down, unzipped my pants and sucked my cock until I exploded all over her face. Amazing.

  Her hands are in my hair, her hips bucking, fucking my face and bringing herself to orgasm. “I’m coming! I’m coming!” I can feel it. Her pussy’s gripping my fingers like a damn vice and I’m drinking down her juices like it’s the finest wine ever made.

  She still throbbing when I push inside of her. She’s just as tight as I remember. Fuck, she’s so tight. “Jesus Christ!” I throw my head back while pounding into her. Her legs are tight around me, her little hands gripping my ass, pulling me deeper.

  “Hudson… You feel so good!”

  “Yes, baby. You’re so damn tight. Your pussy’s squeezing my cock so hard.”

  “Fuck me, Hudson. Fuck me harder!”

  I pull out of her and fill her over onto her hands and knees. She always loved it when I fucked her from behind. “Oh, god!” She screams, I smirk.

  I’m pounding into her so hard I’m losing myself. I grab her hair in my hand and pull her head back, using it as leverage so I can fuck her even harder.

  Fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer!

  I pull her up and against me, my hands on her tits, twisting her nipples and pounding her pussy even harder. “Jesus, Callie, I’m about to come.”

  “Come, baby. Come inside me.” I push her back down on the bed, grab her hips and spear her so fucking hard and fast I’m dizzy from it. I let out a mighty raw and shoot my load so hard into her body she’s screaming, coming hard around me.

  Five years of pent up frustration has finally been satisfied. No woman has ever come close to making me feel the way this woman makes me feel. She’s everything.

  I pull out of her, she flops on the bed unable to move. I lie beside her, stroking the hair from her eyes. She opens them and smiles at me. “That was incredible.”

  “I aim to please.” She laughs and slaps my arm. “Are you all right, baby?”

  “I am so all right, Hudson. Are you?”

  “Never better”.

  “I think we should let Cooper and Roxy back in.”

  “They’re fine in the other room for tonight.” She nods in agreement. “I know this is probably crazy, but I want to come home, Callie.”

  “Why would that be crazy?” She turns on her side, not even bothering to cover herself up. Good. I like seeing her naked body. “Oh.” I guess it just hit her what I was referring to. “You mean here, home.”

  “I’m sorry, I just…”

  “I want you to come home too.” I narrow my eyes, she’s smiling. Is she serious? “This is where you belong, Hudson. Home with me, Cooper, and Roxy.”

  “I love you.” I pull her into my arms. Home. My home is wherever she is.

  “I love you, too, man of mine.”

  Fifteen

  Callie

  Paige is right, they are beautiful. I’m watching them from the small window outside the room they’re sharing. Both of them are sitting on the same bed, wearing tiny hospital gowns, holding hands. They’re frightened, I can see that. And the sight of those babies cut and bruised tears me up inside and I can’t help crying for them.

  I know they have no major injuries, Paige told me so. I thank the lord for that.

  “Are they going to be okay?” I ask Paige without taking my eyes of the little boy and girl who have captured my heart without even meeting them.

  “They’ll be fine.” She reassures.

  “Why did you bring me here, Paige?” I turn to face her. “What’s this really about?”

  I’m quite confused, to be honest. She called me this morning and asked me to be here asap. I had planned on visiting my mother so we could finally have that much needed talk. But Paige practically begged me to be here. So here I am.

  She looks me right in the eye and tells me, “They have no one, Callie. No family members, no one to care for them. They’re going into the system. And while
I know they’ll eventually find a family, I know the perfect mother for them.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Me?” I point to myself.

  She can’t be serious. Hudson has only been home three months. I’m just getting over the corrective surgery on my face. Preparing myself for the major surgery on my abdomen. And it’s almost Della’s wedding day. Now Paige wants me to take these kids into my home, my life?

  She takes my upper arms in her hands. “Yes, you. They need someone who can love them unconditionally. Someone who will take them into their hearts. Someone with a big enough heart to love them as their own.”

  “And you think that’s me? Jesus, Paige. I’m only just sorting myself out after everything, how on this earth is it possible that you think I’d be able to care for two children?”

  “Because I know you.” She hugs me suddenly. “I know your heart. They have no one Callie,” She pulls me at arm’s length. “Of all the people in this town that I trust with my life and the lives of my family, future children, it’s you.”

  I smile slightly, she’s not the first person to say that to me. I turn to look through the window again. The two orphaned three-year-olds are hugging each other. They both have light brown hair, blue eyes so pale they sparkle. I’ve never seen such sad eyes on ones so young through. What the hell must they be going through right now? They must be so confused, wondering where their parents have gone.

  I can’t imagine losing my parents. My mother and I might not be close like she is with my other siblings, but it would kill me to lose her.

  This decision would be huge. Hudson and I have only recently gotten back together, could I really ask him to take on two orphans? Am I even ready for this?

  “I don’t know about this, Paige.”

  “I know it’s a huge thing taking on children. But each new mother feels the very way you do right now.” I turn my head to the side and look at her. She’s such a beautiful young woman, so caring, so kind. “There’s no way I would have brought you here to meet them if I didn’t think you could be everything they need.”