To Save You

by Ruiz, Rebeca

  He closes the door behind me and I watch as he gets into the drivers seat. “How long did he say?” I ask.

  “Twenty minutes.” I nod slowly. “I thought we had plans after the soccer game.” I had been waiting for this question.

  “You don't want to be seen in public with me because of James. I don't think I am okay with being a booty call to you, I'm sure you have many volunteers.” I look away.

  “You're not a booty call, Presley.” I could hear that I had irritated him a bit with what I said. “I like you. I know I barely know you, but I want to know more about you.”

  “Why? There is nothing remotely interesting about me. I'm a plain looking girl who does photography. I care too much about what people think. I am flawed. I-ugh- there's just nothing interesting about me. Why do you even like me?”

  “You are extremely interesting to me, Presley.” He says in a way that I just have to look at him. His green eyes are dark in the lighting. “You are not plain, trust me. Your blue eyes are a blue I don't think has even been discovered, your lips are so plump I just want to kiss you every time you talk. Your photography is beautiful. Everyone is flawed, and I know you're battling your demons, and I am willing to help you out in any way I can.” He's touching my arm. My bad arm.

  “Please.” My eyes are stinging with tears. He raises my wrist to his lips. I watch as he kisses the wounds on my bad wrist. I think I stop breathing. I thought Mathew would be like the others, just pretending that those markings don’t exist. He’s acknowledging them. What?

  “Stop.” I say in a whisper and I close my eyes in fear that I would cry. He lets go of my wrist realizing that he’s upset me.

  “Talk to me.” He pleads.

  I look at him, the tears falling quite quickly. The high I had while driving a hundred miles an hour was now gone. I hated my brain. Whenever I felt good and things were clear, I always fell into this black hole afterward.

  “I’m messed up. I’m a broken person. Why would you want me?” He wipes the tears away.

  “Beautiful, I already told you why. I will take you as your are. I meant it when I said that I would help you. I keep my word.” I can’t be helped. I can’t be loved.

  “I can’t ask you to be the person that I call when I’m having a bad day. I’ve been doing fine alone for four years. I can do this by myself.” I can bring myself out of this nightmare alone. Stop lying to yourself.

  He keeps looking at me and then grabs my phone out of my other hand. He’s typing something. “I’m serious. Even if it’s four a.m. on a Monday morning and there’s a tornado outside your dorm. I will get to you. I will be your person. I promise.” He hands me my phone back and I see that he’s put in his number.

  “Thank you.” Mathew pushes a few of my hair strands behind my ear and he frowns. “What is it?”

  “You look so distressed. I just want to kiss you however many times it takes to comfort you.” I bite my lip. “And then you do that. Do you even realize how incredibly sexy you look biting your lip? You’re killing me, beautiful.” I laugh. First laugh I’ve had in a few days.

  “Can I kiss you?” I ask him. My heart was beating so fast.

  “Yes.” I lean over the seat and I could see him waiting patiently…studying me. I softly pressed my lips against him.

  I kissed him slowly for awhile. Then I did something I’ve only ever seen done on Tumblr and I’ve read about in books. I nibbled a bit on his lip and I caused a reaction I really did not think I was going to get.

  He moaned. The kiss got hotter and suddenly, I felt his hands around my waist and he lifted me onto his lap.

  “Is this okay?” He whispers. I nod and get back to his intoxicating lips. I’ve never gotten drunk before, but I imagine that this is almost the exact feeling. If not, better.

  I could feel his hands on my hips, going up and down. Not really touching any place I haven’t given him permission to touch. I found it endearing, but also annoying.

  My big sweater wasn’t too comfortable anymore so I took this opportunity. I pulled away and I pulled it over my head. I wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath.

  “Don’t treat me like I’m fragile.” I plead. He nods. Finn is the only who has seen me naked, and even then I have never felt this comfortable with him like I do with Mathew. We’re in a car on a highway, I feel like this is a high school thing to do.

  He kisses me on the lips for a moment before he starts making his way down. First my jaw, then my neck, then my collarbone, then my chest, and then…

  Mathew kisses the part where my bra meets my breast and then sucks on it lightly. I push my chest closer to him, wanting more.

  I was blessed with good boobs. It’s one of the few things I like about myself. I was a solid C cup, and I still don’t know how they happened. I was fairly thin other than my butt and boobs. Dessie told me the other day that she was jealous of how my curves were, but I was also jealous of hers.

  “You taste so good.” He says. He looks up at me and I am just so fascinated with how green his eyes are in this light. “I want keep tasting you, but I think if we keep going, I will not last.” He nods down.

  I start blushing as I realize that I’m sitting on his hardness. I’m about to move, but he stops me.

  “I like you on top, just would you do me the favor of putting your sweater back on.” I giggle and I nod.

  He passes me my sweater and I slip it on. Mathew keeps his hands underneath and I don’t mind it.

  “You’re really beautiful.” He says softly as he’s looking into my blue eyes. I give him a small smile, but I don’t say anything. I thought differently, and I knew he’d tell me otherwise with a million reasons.

  The yellow lights of the tow truck flashed behind us. I heard Mathew sigh and I got off his lap. He didn’t really say anything and he went outside to talk to the man. I just looked at my phone.

  Dessie had been calling my phone nonstop but I hadn’t realized because my phone had been on silent. I called her back.

  “Are you alive?” I could hear her southern coming out. She was a bit pissed off. I was over an hour late to our girls night.

  “Yes.” I answer.

  “Where are you?”

  “My car has a flat, so I’m currently on the highway. A tow truck is about to tow it for me.” I say.

  “And you couldn’t call me to tell me that?” I bite my lip.

  “I got a bit busy and I texted you.” I began blushing.

  “Oh.” There was silence and then she came back. “Busy with what?”

  “Not a what. A who.”

  “Who?” She yells into the phone. I giggle and look out the window to see Mathew still talking to the man.

  “How about I tell you later? I’ll tell him to drop me off at your place.” I laugh knowing that I was working her up.

  “Please, tell me!”

  “I will.” I pause and see Mathew coming back towards my door. “I have to go get my stuff out of my car. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

  “Ugh. Fine.” She hangs up and Mathew opens up the door on my side.

  “If there’s anything you’d like to get out of your car, feel free to do it now.” I nod and he helps me out of his car.

  When I get to my car I just open it to grab my bag and my camera for Photo. I hand the man my keys to give to the mechanic and I get back to Mathews car. He doesn’t look too happy, have I done something to upset him?

  “Did I do something wrong?” I ask.

  “No. That guy did.” Huh?

  “What did he do?” The guy had said nothing to me and he didn’t look upset before I went to go retrieve my belongings.

  “He was looking at something that was not his.” Oh. He was jealous because another man has looked at me.

  As soon as I have my seatbelt on, Mathew pulls off the curb and onto the empty highway. There’s something in his expression and I just can’t help it. I have to take a photo. So I do. I sneakily tu
rn on my camera and focus in on him.

  The sunset lighting captures him perfectly. I take two and when I finish with the second one, he looks at me and smiles.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” I bite my lower lip.

  “There you go again biting your lip again. So fucking sexy.” He looks back at the road and gets on the exit that he almost misses to get back to SU.

  As soon as we’re back on campus, I start to feel the anxiety I felt at home start creeping back in.

  “Um. Can you actually drive to your apartment?” I ask him.

  He nods. “Do you need to see James?” I shake my head.

  “Dessie’s apartment is actually in the building right across from yours. I’m staying at her place tonight.” We didn’t have class tomorrow. It was a Saturday and Dessie wanted to do some catching up.

  He pulls into the parking garage for the nearby apartments and he gets into his designated spot. Mathew turns off the engine and we get out. As he gets to my side, he’s just staring at me, thinking about something.

  “Tomorrow night, lets go on a date. 6 pm.” He says. It’s not much of a question.

  “Okay.” I nod.

  “And no running this time.” I bite my lip and nod again. He kisses me and my phone buzzes with an incoming call.

  “That’s Dessie.” I say between kisses.

  He pulls away and leans his forehead against mine. Mathew sighs, but smiles at me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He walks me to the elevator that leads to Dessie’s building. His buildings elevator is on the other side..

  “Bye.” I say.

  “Bye.” And the elevator doors close.

  Chapter Twelve

  Mathew Pennington

  My breath was taken away when I saw Presley in her dress. It hugged her curves perfectly and the boots she was wearing made her legs look like they went on for miles. Purple suited her.

  “Ready to go?” I ask her.

  She was surprised that I came up to her dorm her to come get her. I think she expected me to text her when I was here. I was raised to be a gentlemen, and to always treat women with respect.

  “Yeah. Do I look okay for where we are going?” She asks. I could see in Presley’s blue eyes that she was nervous. I remind myself that this has to be a perfect first date for her. It’s one she’ll remember forever.

  “More than okay. You look perfect.” She blushes.

  “Then I’m good.” She grabs her bag and I grab her hand. I give her a reassuring smile and she returns it.

  “Pizza?” I nod. I’ve been driving for an hour to get back to Evanston. I hope she doesn’t think it’s because I don’t want to be seen in public with her around campus.

  “You went straight to boarding school after eighth grade, right?” She nods, confused .about where I was going with this. “I am guessing you didn’t really get a chance to visit some of our local places. Luigi’s has the best pizza around.” We step inside and the place has candles lit all around and there is a table in the middle.

  “You closed the shop down for the night? Just for our date?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s beautiful. Wow.” I pull the chair out for her and she sits, then I sit across from her. Marco, the owner of the pizzeria, comes out with two big trays. He sets them down and opens them to reveal the biggest slice of pizza.

  “Enjoy your night.” He says and gets to the back.

  Presley is looking at me. “This is the biggest slice of pizza I have ever seen in my life.” She laughs.

  “I know.”

  We spend two hours talking and eating. I could just listen to Presley talk forever, I would never get bored.

  “So what’s for dessert?” She asks. We both managed to slowly finish our slices of pizza and she seemed to really like it.

  “Frozen yogurt.” We both stand.

  “And did you close down this shop as well?”

  “No.” I smile.

  We get back into my car and I drive to the small frozen yogurt place. Immediately, Presley goes for the pure chocolate. I go for Oreo.

  “Don’t judge me.” Presley says as she goes to the topping bar.

  “For what?”

  “My topping choices.” I watch as she puts things on her yogurt that should never go together, I didn’t even recognize half of the toppings, and I chuckle.

  “Does it taste good?” I ask her.

  “Yes, very good.”

  “Then add it to my cup as well.” She smiles at me and adds the same toppings to mine. I pay for our cups and we sit by the window.

  “Try it.” She says when she sees that I haven’t even touched it. I take a scoop and put it in my mouth. I expected it to be an acquired taste, but it turns out to be one of the best frozen yogurt cups I’ve ever had.

  “That’s really good. I’ll be damned.” She bites her lip to hold in her smile. I can’t stop staring at her lips now.

  I was really falling for this girl fast.

  The date was a success, and I dropped her off at her dorm. I walked her straight to her dorm.

  “Is this the part where you bid me goodnight with a kiss?” Presley asks. She has a way of talking that it’s just so different from others. I loved the way she talked.

  “It is, but I don’t think I want to say goodbye just yet.” I had her hand in mine, it fit perfectly and I didn’t want to let go of her.

  “My roommate is out of town until Monday, we can hang out in my room.” Presley looked at me with those big blue eyes.

  “Okay.” I almost stopped breathing.

  She opened her dorm room and we stepped inside. Presley walked over to her bed, and sat down, crossing her legs. I sat next to her, trying not to look at her legs.

  “Kiss me.” She says.

  I brought her face to mine and I kissed her. I didn’t want to push her to do something she didn’t want to do, so I let her take control. She climbed onto my lap and I placed my hands on her legs. They were so damn soft.

  I rubbed my thumb across her inner thigh and she squirmed against me. I was hard as a rock. I went higher, again doing what I did before and she moaned. I ran my finger across her heat to realize that she was already so wet.

  “Mathew, touch me. Please.” She said in between kisses.

  “My pleasure.” I slipped my hand into her wet panties.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Presley Masters

  I could feel myself rising higher and higher than I ever have before. That was the only way to describe it.

  Mathew pressed his fingers against me and I just kissed him harder. Then he slipped a finger inside my core and began pumping it in and out. That feeling and with him pressing my clit, I just couldn’t stop what was stirring inside of me.

  I pulled away from him, and my insides felt like there was a million butterflies. It felt so good. I have lost control of myself, any other time that would have scared me, but this time, it was a good feeling that I let in.

  “Are you okay?” Mathew asks while I take some time to recover. I nod, still unable to speak.

  “Presley?” I hear Finn. “We need to talk.” He was outside my dorm room. Why the hell was he here? I needed my space from him, he needed to understand that I didn’t want more than a friendship from him.

  “Why is he here?” Mathew whispers.

  “The RA told me he saw you come in. I know you’re in there, Presley.” I got off Mathews lap and I walked over to the door. I opened it to find a distraught Finn.

  “Finn, what are you doing here?”

  “I thought you hurt yourself, that’s what! You haven’t been to any of your classes, and I know you promised you wouldn’t do it ag-“ I must’ve looked panic, cause he stopped looking at me and looked inside my dorm. “Oh.” He says when he realizes that I am not alone. Mathew is inside with me.

  “We’ll talk later.” I say slowly.

  “No, I want to hear what he was going to say.” Mathew s
ays. Finn looks at me and then at him. I plead with my eyes for him not to say anything. My suicide attempt over a year ago was a mistake, something I knew I didn’t want to go through with. It was something I didn’t want Mathew knowing about me, yet.

  “Not my business.” Finn says, talking to Mathew. I feel some relief. “It’s up to her to tell you her demons.” Finn leaves. I don’t want to turn around, I don’t want to see the hurt in Mathew’s face. I’m sure he could fill in the holes.

  “I want to tell you.” I begin. “I’m just not ready.” I don’t know if I will ever be ready to tell him what haunts me.

  “We don’t have to talk about this today.” My bubbly mood was once again gone. I looked at Mathew. “But we will have to talk about it eventually.” I nod and he kisses me softly.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says and then he walks out of my dorm. I close the door and I plop myself on my bed. I didn’t want to mess this up. I really did like Mathew.

  For the next two weeks everything is great. I don’t have a bad day, and I haven’t hurt myself in that long as well. Mathew is kind and caring. I honestly do not deserve him. If I live a hundred lifetimes, I wouldn’t deserve him in any of them.

  We still haven’t told James, so we’re still sneaking around like teenagers in high school. So far James doesn’t seem suspicious about us. It helps that lately he seems to be a little distracted.

  I’m worried about James. Not being able to play soccer has really gotten to him. According to Mathew, he’s out more, drinking like there’s no tomorrow, sleeping with girls and using them like tissues.

  Dessie has even noticed. When I slept over her apartment, she told me how every day at one in the morning, or around that time, James would walk into his apartment building with a new girl. The said girl would then do the walk of shame around eight in the morning.

  I keep telling myself that I’m going to talk to him, but I talk myself out of it every time. I don’t know how to approach him with that subject. I’m afraid of him lashing out, to be honest. I’ve seen it before, and I don’t want it done unto me.