This Guy Kills Me

by Anlyn Hansell

  “No I wouldn’t,” she grated out, slightly miffed. His comfort squeeze on her shoulder was back, but now it was a bit more…firm?

  “Joe? Go…she’ll be Ok. Jane?”

  “Later, Joe.” She shrugged off his hand once again.

  A few moments of silence before his breath kind of whooshed out. Apparently he was frustrated. “Fine. Jane, will you be Ok?” he asked gruffly.

  “Yes,” she answered emphatically.

  “She’ll be fine. Joe – go,” the Doctor ordered.

  He waited a few moments for the door to finally close before he spoke.

  “Sooo…Jane. Joe wants me to talk to you. How are you Jane?”

  “Fine. How are you?” she asked because quite frankly, she was confused as hell.

  “I’m fine. Joe says you have a problem with your mouth. He says you sort of blurt things out. Do you want to talk about that?”

  “No.”

  “Jane, we have a very limited amount of time here. I just want you to open up; maybe we can see if this is something we can work on. What’s your trigger?”

  “My what?”

  “Your trigger. Something that causes your mouth and brain to disconnect. Or maybe you want to say the things you say. Is that the case?”

  “No. I don’t want to say it. I just have to.”

  “Why do you have to?”

  “Because I do? What did Joe tell you, exactly?” she asked, wondering if he mentioned her ‘ability’.

  “Nothing – other than the fact that you have no control over your mouth.”

  “He didn’t say…anything else?”

  “No. Should he have? I mean; is there something I don’t know that you want to tell me?”

  “Nope. I have a big mouth. Let’s just keep it at that.”

  “I have a feeling there’s something you’re not telling me,” he asked her as his brow furrowed.

  “Nah – just that. I think something and then I say it. It just comes out and it’s like I can’t help myself. I have to do it.”

  “If you don’t do it, what happens? Any physical reaction, pain, anything?”

  “I don’t know. I usually just say it, or I hold my mouth shut and then say it somewhere else, but I always say it.”

  “Try not saying it.”

  “Easier said than done,” she retorted knowingly.

  “Tell yourself that you control it, not the other way around. Honestly, will you die if you don’t say it? Of course you won’t,” he answered for her. “Try to think about something else. What do you like? I mean, is there anything pleasant you could think about and concentrate on instead of whatever it is you feel compelled to say?”

  Hot fudge, puppies, having sex with Joe...

  What?!

  “Puppies. I like puppies, they’re cute and I never had one. And food. I like food,” she kept the Joe ‘thing’ to herself.

  “So think about puppies. And try to remember that it won’t kill you to not say it. Take three deep breaths, think about puppies; tell yourself you control it. Can you try that?”

  “Sure. Can I go now?” she asked as her eyes drifted toward the door.

  “We’re not nearly done here. We should probably make a follow up appointment, all right? What days are good for you?” he asked as he pressed a button on his phone.

  She wanted to snort. Any day buddy, I have no job… Instead she shrugged and looked toward the door again.

  “Amanda?” he asked into his desk phone. No response.

  “She’s, ahhh…she’s in the bathroom, I think,” Jane answered before chewing her bottom lip. Hopefully she wouldn’t come back until after she and Joe were long gone.

  “We’ll set something up. You just talk to her on your way out, Ok?”

  “Yeah, sure. Can I go?”

  “Not yet. How’s Joe?” He was leaning over the surface of his desk, watching her intently.

  “He’s fine? I guess? I don’t know -”

  “How long have you two known each other?”

  “A few weeks.”

  “And you are…?”

  “Ah…I’m Jane?” she answered, completely confused.

  “No! I mean you’re his…girlfriend?”

  “No! Oh no, no…we’re just, well I guess we’re, um…friends? I’d say we’re friends,” she answered quickly as he leaned back in his chair and made a steeple out of his fingers. She stared at his hands.

  “Just friends, huh? Do you spend much time around each other?”

  She gave a slight shrug. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “And how is he? Any compulsive behavior, I mean, does he ever get fixated on things? Anything strange or alarming?”

  Well, Dr. Mike – he kills people for a living. I met him when he kidnapped me and stuffed me in trunk…

  “Food. He’s pretty anal about food, I guess,” she stated instead.

  “He thinks that’s what controls his acne. I hate to tell him, but it was more likely his hormones. He grew out of it. But…if he wants to eat healthy, so be it. Anything else?”

  “Why are you asking me?”

  “I worry about Joe, that’s all. He intrigues me.” He was tapping both index fingers together she noticed as she continued to stare.

  “Why?”

  “Well, he’s my patient, he’s also a friend. I really like the guy. I want to help him.”

  Did he know? No – that was impossible, but…the way he was looking at her gave her the impression that he was fishing for something.

  “What’s wrong with him? He seems pretty…normal.” Other than his job.

  “I’m not at liberty to say. You know - patient/client confidentiality and all that, I just wanted your impression, that’s all. So, you’re not dating?” his voice changed somewhat, causing her eyes to snap to his.

  Immediate tunnel vision.

  “Puppies,” she mumbled as she pushed out of the chair. Their eyes were now firmly locked. He would have to break the eye contact.

  “What?”

  “Fluffy puppies?” Oh come on, little fluffy puppies…not that. Not, whoa… She was backing away toward the door.

  “Go ahead and say it, you have my permission. I’m interested in the types of things you say,” she could hear in the distance as her mind struggled to insert little balls of fur in front of a rather alarming vision.

  I control it. I do. Me.

  “Go ahead, Jane.”

  “MMM.” Her lips were clamped shut, her tongue pushing on the backs of her teeth.

  “Jane? Go for it…” he prompted.

  Her lips opened and the feeling of immediate relief washed over her. “No one can bend like that. It’s physically impossible. And I’m not that coordinated. I have never stood on my head and my boobs aren’t nearly as big as you seem to think they are. What time is it?” she spewed out in a rush, her hand now firmly clasping the door handle behind her.

  He was still staring at her evidenced by the fact that she wasn’t seeing him…she was watching herself in all her naked glory doing things that she was pretty damn sure no human could physically do.

  “What? What did you just…?” She could hear him struggle with his words in the distance.

  “Ew. Ouch. You’re kinky. What time is it?” she asked again, her hand now pushing down on the door latch. Suddenly, she was looking at his face, his eyes gazing at the phone in front of him. “Nine fifty five. Jane?” Don’t look at him. Don’t…

  “Ok, I’ll ahh…make an appointment…” No, I won’t…

  “Nice meeting you…” she stated to the carpeted floor as her body pushed the door backward.

  “Jane? Wait,” she could hear behind her but she was already half way through the waiting room before Joe caught up with her. A well-dressed man wandered in through the glass door from the lobby as she sidestepped him and grabbed for the door.

  “Jane?” Doctor Mike’s voice was now clearly behind her in the waiting room but she continued her trek out the door, into the hallway.

&
nbsp; “Where the hell is Amanda?” she could hear him ask before his voice rose. “Joe! Make sure she makes an appointment!” she could hear as the door was closing.

  “Jane…wait up,” Joe’s voice this time. She kept marching down the hall, eyes ahead. Movement off to the side. A door opened, a body stepped out, then immediately retreated back in. Her feet carried her to that very same door.

  “Jane? Where are you…?”

  “Bathroom. I have to go,” she stated absently as she pushed the door open and stepped inside. A stall door banged shut at the end of the narrow room.

  “I’m sorry,” Jane stated, her voice almost echoing off the tiled walls.

  A sniff beyond the stall door was her only answer.

  “I would appreciate it if you could keep what I said to yourself? I assume you probably will, but I thought I would just mention that. And by the way, Joe is oblivious to every woman who has the hots for him. He’s totally clueless, so don’t take it personally. And stop sleeping with Dr. Mike. He’s kind of a womanizer,” she stated before turning and opening the door once again.

  Joe stood in the middle of the hall, facing the bathroom door, one eyebrow rising up before she grabbed the sleeve of this jacket and tugged him toward the front lobby.

  “I am so pissed at you,” she muttered as she stomped down the hall. He said nothing as they cleared the front doors and walked toward the car, her hand still gripping the material of his jacket.

  “So, what did he say? Did you read him? I’m pissed at you by the way. I was supposed to stay in the room. What the hell was that? What happened?” he asked, clearly agitated.

  She whirled to face him in front of the parked car.

  “You used me. Did you use me?” she asked calmly.

  “What?”

  “Did you use me?”

  She was staring into his eyes, looking for guilt or remorse, anything that would prove her theory. She received nothing.

  “I…what do you mean?”

  “You know what I mean. Did you put me in that situation to read that guy – is that why you wanted to stay in the room?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Yes or no?”

  “Ok, yes. Did you pick up on anything?”

  “Yes. I picked up that he is a kinky perv. I have a feeling that’s not what you wanted to know.”

  “You are correct. Damn. That didn’t go the way I planned. I mean…did he at least give you some advice on your mouth?”

  “Yeah, I’m supposed to think about puppies. That was his advice…puppies. He’s a whack and I’m not making a follow up appointment, by the way.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Why would he…? Never mind. Let’s get going. We have work to do,” he stated before turning and walking toward the driver’s side.

  “What did you want me to see? Why did you bring me here? Does it have something to do with your Dad? I’m not getting in the car.” She stood her ground.

  “I’ll tell you if you get in the car,” he responded with a grin.

  *****

  “So, he was your Dad’s shrink. Well, that makes sense now. Why didn’t you just tell me?” she asked as they drove.

  “I didn’t want you to lead him into anything. It might’ve looked suspicious. Maybe I should’ve told you but I thought you’d be more cooperative.”

  “I don’t like being used, Joe.” She was turned toward him in her seat.

  “And why is that, Jane? Something you want to tell me?” he asked as he continued to concentrate on the road ahead.

  “No comment. Just don’t do that again. I don’t mind helping you; I just want to know what’s going on.”

  They were turning into the parking lot of a rather large mall.

  “So. What’s going on? Why are we shopping?”

  “We need some clothes.”

  “We have clothes -”

  “Not those kind of clothes. Grubby clothes,” he stated simply as he swung the vehicle into an open spot.

  “What are grubby clothes and why do we need them?” she asked his profile.

  “Because we have to go to work tonight.”

  “We have to go to work,” she repeated. “What kind of work? See? You’re being cryptic again.”

  “You’ll see,” was his only comment before he stepped out of the car. Her eyes rolled upward as she heaved a frustrated sigh.

  *****

  “There you go…” He tucked a few stray tendrils of hair behind her ear after placing the ball cap on her head a few hours later. “Clean Team” was emblazoned on the front of the cap.

  “I’m a cleaning person?” she asked as she pulled down the sun visor to check herself out in the mirror fastened to the other side.

  “Yeah. Me too,” he stated as he pulled his own cap on.

  “What are we cleaning?”

  “The office in Southfield.”

  “You…don’t think anyone will ask who we are, why we’re there – they won’t recognize us -”

  “They had a bit of a catastrophe last night. The filters failed on the heating system and actually flushed in the opposite direction. It’s a mess,” he stated simply as he started the car and pulled out of the hotel parking lot.

  “Really? Imagine that. And…did you somehow have something to do with said ‘catastrophe’?” she asked with a slight smirk.

  “Who? Me?” was his only reply as he continued to drive. The side of his mouth that was visible to her was lifted up lightly.

  “So, is that where you were last night?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Smart. So we’ll walk in and no one will think anything of it. What’s the plan? I assume we’re going to ‘clean’ certain floors, right?”

  “Right. Look for pictures on desks, I wish I would’ve taken a closer look at that dude,” he breathed out.

  “What happens if we do find his office, what are we looking for?”

  “Same as Moll – remember that? We need this dude’s address. If he and Rick were friends – which you seemed to think they were – maybe Rick stays with him? Maybe we can go and stake the place out? I’m really running out of leads here. We can’t go back to any of the places you delivered to since you’ve pretty much pissed off the owners or have been thrown out.

  “Rupesh likes me -”

  “Rupesh obviously doesn’t know jack. It’s Sanjay we need; unfortunately, we can’t exactly go back to Eden…unless of course we disguised you…somehow. Maybe -”

  “No thanks.”

  “Maybe that Damon guy, huh? Maybe we could follow him.”

  “You’ve seen him. You don’t need me for that.”

  “True. Maybe I will. Although…it’ll be so much less entertaining without you,” he quipped.

  “Shut up.”

  “Just saying…”

  *****

  “Have you checked in with the Maintenance Manager?” the security guard asked from behind the desk as they attempted to walk past.

  “Excuse me?” Joe stopped and turned toward the portly man.

  “Ron? The Maintenance Manager? He’s coordinating the floors. Do you know which floor you’re working on?”

  “Ah, yeah. Yep, he told us which floor.”

  “Which floor?” the man asked.

  “Ahh…Twelve. Twelfth Floor. That’s us,” Joe answered quickly.

  “Have you ever worked in this building before? I don’t recognize you,” the man stated.

  “Ah…yeah. A few years ago. We just get called in for emergencies, you know?” Joe answered quickly and that seemed to appease the man behind the desk. He gave a nod in the direction of the elevators.

  “All right then.” His attention turned to a professionally dressed woman that wandered up to his counter leaving Jane and Joe free to walk toward the elevators. They were each carrying containers laden with various types of cleaning apparatus and spray bottles.

  “Here,” he handed her a small black device with an antenna. “Two way radio…” he muttered. “Jus
t in case,” he added before a harried looking middle aged man walked up to them.

  “Clean Team? What’s Clean Team?” he asked. An embroidered name patch on the left side of his tan uniform indicated that his name was Ron. Oh shit…

  “Ah…we’re here for the dust problem?” Joe answered.

  “I called Anderson and Service Plus. What’s Clean Team?” He was looking from Jane to Joe with a confused expression on his face.

  “I don’t know, dude. Somebody called us, my boss says come here and clean and here we are,” Joe threw out confidently.

  “Hmmm…maybe Anne called,” he mumbled to himself. “Ok, well…we need the help.” He focused his attention on Jane. “You, come with me. We need some help on the tenth floor. You…what floor did they tell you to work?” He was focusing on Joe.

  “Twelfth.”

  “Good. That’s…good. Ok, come on,” he ordered as the elevator doors opened and a few people filtered out.

  He immediately pressed the button for the tenth and twelfth floors before turning toward them.

  “All of the offices are open; some people are working even though we recommended shutting the building down. You’ll have to work around them, be courteous, Ok? If they don’t want you there, we’ll just go back when they leave tonight. I’ve a got a crew with vacuums, dust busters and a couple of shop vacs. I rented more – they should be delivered any time now. When they come in, I’ll have them brought up. For now, just dust what you can. You have dusters?”

  Joe grabbed a few from his container.

  “Great, but that won’t be enough. We’ll get you some more. Ok, Tenth Floor. What’s your name?”

  “Jane?” Oh crap, that just sort of came out… she thought frantically.

  “All right, Jane, Follow me. Your name?” He looked toward Joe.

  “Pete,” he answered immediately shooting a slight glare at Jane.

  “Ok, Pete. I’ll be checking up on you later. Come on, Jane.”

  She shot him a nervous backwards glance as she stepped from the elevator.

  *****

  Finally alone. Ron seemed like a nice enough guy. Well, maybe a little frazzled, but gauging from the amount of dust collected throughout the offices, he had every reason to be.

  Jane carefully moved the knickknacks from the top of the credenza, carefully checking the pictures and certificates encased in matching black frames before setting them aside. She began to wipe the surface clean much the same as the desk and the small table in the room; another person would be vacuuming the office later, Ron assured her.