Hidden Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  I agreed one hundred percent, even though I knew it would be hard for me to actually allow her that added space. So, we reached a compromise, but it would involve having more people finding out about her past. That is why Courtney, Emily, and Jeremy are all hanging out at Vines tonight.

  Courtney thought it would be a good idea regardless of the situation surrounding Sam. She said something about all of them wanting to learn more about her. Something tells me they are up to no good tonight. Since the Savannah trip, Sam and I have become regulars around my parents’ house, giving my family plenty of time to get to know her. The four of them together without me around tells me this is my mother’s doing. She’s plotting to throw me a birthday party or something. You say the word “cake” in front of Sam, and she’ll be president of the planning committee before they know it.

  My cell phone lights up next to me, notifying me of an incoming picture message from Jeremy. I pull the cruiser into a vacant parking lot before sliding my finger across the screen to read his text.

  You totally owe me for this, but she’ll get home safe.

  My fingers move to zoom in on the photo on my screen. Holy hell. My eyes do a double take as I see the three girls on the sofa at Vines, each of them with their own bottle of wine, laughing out of control, and clearly overindulging. I type out a quick message to Jeremy.

  Please keep an eye on her. Can you drop her off at my place? Nick will be there soon. Tell Sam I’ll be home a little after midnight.

  Jeremy texts back that he told Emily, and she agreed. He also said for me not to worry since this wasn’t his first time dealing with drunken girls. My mind immediately remembers which night he’s referring to. The night that Sue and Dave hooked up and changed my life for the good. I can’t help but wonder what would have happened had all those cards not played out the way they did.

  Would I have ever met Sam?

  The answer creeps across my mind, and I don’t like it. Sam and I may have never crossed paths at the hospital that night. I guess I really do owe Dave a thank you. Had it not been for his drunken ass, my life would have been in an entirely different place right now.

  I check the clock on the cruiser dashboard and notice it’s nearly time for me to start making my way back to the station before the roll call. Before I put the car into drive, my cell phone flashes again. Mom calling tells me this must be important, especially this time of night.

  Placing the phone to my ear, I answer the call. “Hey, Mom, is everything okay?” I ask hesitantly.

  “Josh, have you heard from Jeremy or Courtney tonight? I’ve been trying to call them, but there’s been no answer. Not even Emily is picking up,” she rambles way too nervously.

  “Mom, they are all over at Vines with Sam keeping an eye on things. Why, what’s wrong?” I nervously approach the question, thinking this must have to do with Dad. “Is Dad okay?” I add.

  “Oh, sweetie, yes, I’m sorry. Your dad is fine. It’s Sue. Her water broke, and Dave is taking her to the hospital. I figure it’s going to be a while, but I know the girls will want to be there when she delivers.” My mom keeps talking, but I can’t think straight. Sue is in labor. Now? I thought she wasn’t due for a few weeks.

  As my mom continues to mutter off crazy chatter about how the baby shower was just in time last weekend, and thank goodness they managed to get the crib put together in time, I have to interrupt. I love my mom, but sweet Jesus, if her telling me all of this isn’t adding to the headache I’ve had for a month.

  “Mom!” I laugh as she stops yammering mid-sentence. “I get off work in an hour. I’ll text Nick now and have him head down to Vines to tell all of them. I’m sure they will be home soon. Call me in the morning and let me know what’s going on.”

  “Okay, Josh. Thank you. Is everything all right with Sam? Any update on that man?” Mom asks barely above a whisper.

  Running my fingers over my temple, I shut my eyes as I try to push away the thought of Stone still being on the loose. “No, Mom, no updates on Stone. Sam seems to be doing okay, though. She started her self-defense classes last week with Nick at the PD, so at least she’s physically prepared. I feel useless right now, like I can’t protect her the way I know I should.”

  “Josh, you two are strong both inside and out. Don’t let her ex-boyfriend weaken that. You may not think you’re protecting her, but we are all behind her on this. Don’t smother her. Just love her like I know you can. If you lead with your heart instead of your head, she’ll be much happier.”

  “How do you always have the right words to say?” I chuckle as I rest my head against my propped arm on the open window of the car.

  “Years of practice with your brother.” Mom sighs. “Listen, sweetie. Her parents will be up next week to stay with us for a while, and now with Sue in labor, things just got even crazier. I’m going to head over to the hospital in a little while. I’ll let Dave handle Sue before she gets the epidural, because that girl will not forego those drugs once the contractions really kick in.”

  “Mom!” I shout to stop her again, especially about Sue.

  “Sorry, I’m rambling again. I’ll let you go. You’ll have Nick tell everyone, yes?”

  “I already sent him a text. He should be on his way over there now,” I reassure her so she’ll calm her nerves a bit.

  With everything going on, I worry my mom may be taking on too much in her life at her age. Emily’s recovery, Jeremy’s wedding, Sue’s pregnancy, and now Sam’s situation. She’s a saint with a loving heart.

  “Okay, sweetie, I’ll let you get back to work. I’ll call you in the morning with any updates on Sue.”

  Once Mom hangs up from our phone call, I start driving back to the station as I think about that night at my parents’ house a couple of weeks ago. When Sam sat next to me in their living room with everyone else and explained to them about what happened with Stone, my mother cried with her in an embrace that only a mother could give. I knew then that Mom considered Sam as one of her own. No one else said a word until she let go. My family’s faces said it all.

  No matter how much I screwed up by not bringing Sam around for all those months, she was loved instantly. My errors of the past forgotten. Everyone sat there, supporting the one person whom I cherish and need the most.

  Even more shocking is the fact that Sam and Sue have become friends. It was slightly awkward at first, but Sam said Sue apologized for the way things looked in the kitchen between us. Sue explained that she never meant any harm; it was just her playful personality. She also told Sam that she’s never seen me so enamored with someone as much as I am with Sam.

  Her words not mine.

  Truthfully, I am so head over heels in love with Sam that I would hop on the next flight to Vegas and marry her tonight. The thought has crossed my mind. The only problem is, I still haven’t actually asked her to marry me. Timing is everything, and clearly, the past month hasn’t exactly been ideal for any proposals.

  All in due time.

  Nick rushed into Vines before we closed and interrupted what has probably been one of the best nights I’ve had in weeks. Don’t get me wrong. Time spent with Josh and my derby sisters ranks well above everything else, but to finally be able to spend time with his family is an experience in and of itself. Put Courtney and Emily together and throw in a few bottles of wine, and the giggling potty mouths are sure to show up.

  Poor Jeremy sat there sipping his beer and shaking his head at our antics. He was happy to see Nick walk into the bar by the end of the night. We were supposed to be helping to plan out Josh’s surprise birthday party in a few weeks, but that never happened. Instead, we talked about hot guys on television.

  Jeremy rolled his eyes as Emily said she was sorry, but he didn’t even compare to Channing Tatum. Courtney professed her love for Charlie Hunnam, which made sense since she seems to be oddly attracted to my brother, even though they aren’t dating. When the two of them looked at me for my answer, I declared without any hesitation, Jensen A
ckles. He was by far the hottest piece of ass ever to grace the airwaves. Both Courtney and Emily fell back onto the sofa and clinked their wine glasses together before sighing and saying to each other, “She’s one of us now. She can never leave.” To hear them say that meant the world to me.

  Josh has no idea how much he’s given me. It’s not just his love and commitment to our future together; it’s the fact he’s given me a new extended family. Even Sue and I are bonding in a way I never thought possible. The woman Josh loved for so long always seemed to be a barrier between us moving forward.

  When Sue and I talked a few weeks ago, it turned out I was wrong. The two of them loved each other, but it wasn’t the love I thought it was. She sees him as a big brother now and explained high school was such a long time ago and even clarified she never was in love with Josh. She was planning on breaking up with him around the same time he let her go. Sue said she was young and still had her college years ahead of her. It was never fair of her to drag Josh along while he was starting his career if she wasn’t serious about their relationship.

  I swore to her I would never tell him what she confessed, and in all honesty, I don’t think it would make a difference in his life now even if he did find out.

  I’m anxiously sitting in Josh’s bed watching more Supernatural episodes on his DVR. I know I’ll end up having to watch them all over again because right now I can’t think straight. Sue is in labor, and Josh won’t be home for another few minutes to give me the details. I have no idea why he wanted me to stay here for the night, but with Sue in labor early, I can only think the worst.

  I even continue to text Courtney and Emily to see if they have found out anything, and nothing has come back from them other than Josh’s parents had already left for the hospital by the time they got home. Grace apparently left a note, saying she’d call with news when she got there, but for them to stay put for the time being.

  My fingers nervously fiddle with the sheets on the bed. As I’m about to pick up my phone and call Courtney again, the sound of the front door downstairs closing has me throwing back the blankets. Once I hear Josh coming up the stairs and the door opens, I stumble across the room, rushing into his arms before he has a chance to put down his bag.

  “Is Sue okay? Have you heard anything? Is the baby okay?” I rattle off question after question, never allowing him a chance to respond. He continues holding me in his arms. When I’ve asked as many questions as I can before exhausting all the breath in my lungs, I feel the vibrations in his chest as he laughs at me. “What’s so funny?” I ask, slapping him on the chest. “I’m worried about Sue.”

  “It’s good that we are well past the stage of Hey, honey, good to see you. How was your night? and we have jumped right into asking about Sue,” Josh jokes as he drops his bag onto the floor.

  “Well? What’s going on with her?” I ask, getting straight to the point.

  “She’s fine as far as I know. Mom called and said her water broke and she was heading to the hospital.”

  “Then, why did you have Nick rush down to have me stay here?”

  “I told Jeremy to make sure you got home okay because it looked like you and the girls were overly enjoying yourselves, and if you were drinking, I’d prefer Nick or myself being around.”

  “Seriously, that’s why I’m here. I thought something bad happened with Sue and the baby. Why didn’t you just tell me that before?”

  “If I thought it was that important to you, I would have. Mom said it would be a while, so I didn’t see the need to panic. Sorry.”

  Josh shrugs, kissing the top of my head and moving to kick off his sneakers. He pulls away from me and heads to his bureau, grabbing a change of clothes. As he’s changing, I shut the bedroom door and make my way back to sit on his bed.

  “Seriously, Sam? More of this show? How can you watch so much of it?” Josh asks as he slides his legs into his shorts. With a raised eyebrow, I nudge my head toward the paused screen. Jensen’s face takes up half of the screen. Josh’s eyes turn back to the television, taking my hint. “Ha! I’m so much better than he is.” Josh gives me a brazen smile as he stands at the foot of the bed.

  “Is that so?” I playfully tap my finger against my lips as I watch him slowly slink his way toward me. Josh grabs the remote, shutting off any images of Jensen that might distract me from what I know he is about to do. He pulls my legs, bringing me out of my sitting position so I’m lying flat between his knees.

  “Yes, that’s so, and I’m going to prove it to you right now.” He slowly moves his hands under my tank top, grazing my skin. When he cups my breast with his hand, I thrust out my chest as I crave more of his touch. Nothing about this man’s touch causes anything but absolute pleasure and a desire to become closer. Our eyes fix on each other as he erases the distance between our bodies, his lips connecting with mine as my body goes weak underneath him.

  My hands run along the tight muscles of his back before pushing their way under the waistband of his shorts. Josh releases a deep groan as my fingers remain where they are while my lips part, and he pushes his tongue into my mouth. Our kiss is full of need and want as much as it shows our love for one another.

  Josh continues to grope my breasts, teasing my hardened nipples between his fingers. My body reacts, as I yearn for more of his body. His ability to instantly put my body on fire never ceases to amaze me. Pushing my pelvis away from the bed, I rub my most sensitive area over his shorts. Feeling his hardened length pulse, I continue my tormenting movement.

  Josh backs away from our kiss, bringing me up gently as he pulls my tank top over my head. My hands fumble with the waist of his shorts as I struggle to get them off him quickly. “I don’t even know why you bothered putting these on. They were bound to come off anyway.” I toy with him even though there is some truth in my statement.

  When Josh and I are together, we can hardly keep our hands off each other. Until recently, the passion has taken a slight backseat to our connection on other levels. Some nights we are more content just lying together in bed, holding each other as we fall asleep. It’s as though something between us changed after Josh returned from Savannah. We now realize this is more than just a relationship. This is a lifetime.

  As Josh finally pushes down his shorts and kicks them off the end of the bed, he tugs at the waist of my very non-sexy cotton boy shorts. “Cute undies,” he teases, but at least I bought them at the high-end store at the mall. Still, if I know I’m meeting up with Josh, I wear my lace thongs. He threw me off tonight when he told me to head back to his place. My face suddenly blushes in embarrassment. Tossing them onto the floor, Josh pushes my legs apart as he positions himself over me. “Sam, cotton or lace doesn’t matter to me. Everything underneath is always perfectly sexy in my eyes,” he says softly as he caresses my face, rubbing his thumb over my cheek. “I love you, Sam.”

  Before I even respond to his words, my hand reaches down between my legs and grabs his length. Josh lets out a long hiss that I never tire of hearing whenever I touch him. It’s as though my touch does exactly the same thing to his body as his does to mine. His hand reaches down to cover mine as he places the head of his cock at my entrance. He pulls away my hand, bringing it above my head as he pushes himself inside me. My hips rise, allowing him to get deeper within my core, hitting places that send tingling sensations throughout my entire body.

  Josh continues to thrust within me, holding my hands captive in his above my head. I wrap my legs tightly around his waist, keeping him buried deep inside me as I begin to feel my core tighten around his cock. “Josh, please,” is all I have to say, as I look him straight in the eyes before my body tenses. He pushes so deep that not even he can handle the continued pulsing around him as my orgasm overpowers my body. Josh takes two more hard thrusts before I feel him release inside me.

  When our breathing returns to normal, he pushes himself up on his elbows to gaze into my eyes. I reach up to run my finger across his bottom lip. “I love you, Josh,�
� I say before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

  “Love you too, sugar,” he says as he moves to grab his box of wet wipe cloths from the nightstand. Pulling out of me, he takes a few of the wipes and cleans up the evidence of our lovemaking between my legs.

  Josh stands to toss out the tissues into the trash and grabs my underwear from the floor, handing them to me as he throws on his shorts again. I laugh as I stand, pushing my legs into my panties and pulling them up.

  “What’s so funny?” Josh asks as he checks his cell phone on the nightstand.

  “Oh, nothing. I was just wondering what’s going to happen when we finally move in with one another,” I say as I throw my arms back into my tank top before returning under the blankets.

  “What do you mean?” he questions as he tosses back the sheets and makes himself comfortable in his bed.

  “Well, are you going to come home every night and ravage me, or will I have to find other ways to entice you?”

  “Sam, you can be wearing a trash bag and I’ll still want to ravage you every night. But, first we need to find a place and then worry about the ravaging later,” he says.

  I am suddenly at a loss for words. If it weren’t for me, we might have already found a place and moved in with each other. Josh and I stopped looking for a place once the whole Stone situation became top priority. He felt it would be best if I didn’t have a place to go home to everyday and be alone, so I stopped packing my room and stayed put at the derby house. It seems the path to my future unexpectedly slammed on the brakes, and I can’t move anywhere.

  “We’ll find a place soon. We just need to make sure Stone isn’t a threat to you anymore,” Josh says, reading my thoughts.

  “How can you be so sure of that? The police are no closer to finding Stone now than they were weeks ago. The only difference is we know he knows about the derby and how to get to me.” I sigh as I pull my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. “I can’t do this forever. I need to go out on my own. I feel like I’m the one in prison now, and it’s not fair,” I say softly as tears spill from my eyes.