by Tiara James
“Oh yeah, honey, we used to go down the hallways howlin’ like wolves!” Chris added.
Oh my God, he really didn’t have to mention that! Oh well, it was too late; Eva was doubled over laughing with her friends howling in between giggles, mocking us. I couldn’t help but laugh along with them, the alcohol was relaxing me and I loved it.
“But you guys are Glitterati? So respect The Pack!” Timmy held his fist up.
Kathryn caught her breath. “Whatever you say, honey. We’re not judgin’.” She snickered.
Eva shook her head. “So are we going or what boys?”
“Let’s do it!” Chris exclaimed.
I turned and opened the door for Eva to get in the car.
“Why thank you kind sir,” she looked up at me through her eyelashes.
God, the way she was looking she was setting herself up to get taken to my bed that night! But the gentleman in me hushed those thoughts…
Kathryn hopped into Timmy’s car and the rest of Eva’s friends hopped in with Chris. We drove off into the cool summer night, with the tops on our cars down, enjoying the breeze as our cars rode along the winding roads. I was feeling great, especially with Eva right beside me. I couldn’t help but follow the conversation about ‘The Pack’ with a long and loud howl to the moon, feeling like I was a teenager again. It was a great release! Eva was dying laughing at me but Timmy and Chris returned the howls.
Eva stood on her knees in the seat, facing their cars behind us and waved her flowers in a circle. She threw her head back and though she didn’t howl as my friends and I did, she yelled to the moon, “Whooooo-hooo!” Her friends returned with their own whooping and hollering.
I smiled and gazed up at her with pure admiration; it was as if she was giving me back the years I gave to sulking around being depressed about losing my mother. Eva-Marie was singlehandedly bringing me back to life and for that, I couldn’t thank her enough.
In the back of my mind I wondered how she’d react when I told her that we’d have to end it…
17. Not As Planned
“Here, you should wear this, it’s gonna be a bit chilly near the water.” David suggested and reached for the jacket in the backseat of his car.
“Such a gentleman,” I purred, sliding on the jacket.
“As I should be.” He leaned over and gave me a peck on the lips. Oh, I always wanted so much more when he kissed me! “I’ll get your door.” He told me before hopping out of the car.
“Thanks,” I said as I slightly stumbled out of the car. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” I giggled and assured David as he stabled me out by grabbing my elbow.
David chuckled. “Are you sure about that Mrs. Hutchinson? If I didn’t know any better I’d believe you have a drinking problem.”
“Hmmm, nope.” I answered, placing my hands on his shoulders and jumping up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. “I just like to have fun,” I said looking at him in the eyes with my mouth close to his.
David’s breathing audibly picked up speed. In that moment I felt like I had the power! Also, the alcohol was giving me a newfound confidence. A sensual kind of confidence… I tangled my fingers in the back of David’s hair and gently angled his head downward so I could kiss him. When our lips touched, it was as if my body’s temperature shot up to a thousand degrees! The kiss was intense, charged completely with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on –
“Oh alright, break it up ya love birds!” Timmy shouted and began laughing with Chris.
I pulled away quickly and gasped, embarrassed to have my friends see such a side of me. It was so easy to forget about everyone else when David was around. I caught my breath and loosened the grip my legs had around David’s waist – I hadn’t noticed they’d gotten so tight! “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I slid down.
David was eyeing me intensely with his breathtaking blue eyes and breathing heavily through his nose. His expression was completely unreadable.
I began to grow even more humiliated as he didn’t answer. I awkwardly blinked and turned around to go join my friends.
David placed his hands on my hips from behind and squeezed gently. “You never have to be sorry for anything like that,” he told me in a low, rough voice.
Everything below my waist tightened and began tingling. The feelings were all so new…but I liked them. Oh I had to get away from him for a moment! “Okay,” I nodded and hurriedly walked over to join my friends.
“Well I think it’s cute, we never see Eva with anyone,” Rita giggled.
“Besides that ole Ray.” Sarah snickered.
“Oh could we please not bring him up?” I smiled tightly and widened my eyes at her.
“Please,” David agreed and rolled his eyes at my friends.
“Don’t you worry David, we’ll keep her mind all the way off of him.” Yvonne promised as she grabbed my elbow and began pulling me toward the pier.
I giggled drunkenly as Yvonne pulled me along. “Yvonne! Where are we going?”
“We have things to talk about,” Yvonne said to me.
I threw my head back and laughed, knowing exactly what…or who my friends wanted to talk about.
“Exactly, you have nothin’ to worry about darlin’!” Kate called over her shoulder as we all departed from the boys.
“Hey girls where are you goin’? We just got here!” Chris shouted after us.
“It’s an emergency meeting!” I blurted and burst into laughter with Kate and Yvonne.
“It’s a girl thing, don’t worry. Just enjoy yourselves!” Rita called without looking back at them.
“Run!” Sarah whispered to us all. The five of us took off down the length of the pier, intoxicated, dying from laughter, and not able to run in a straight line. The sight of each of us trying to run, made us laugh even more!
I gave up a few seconds in, “Okay! Okay I’m done!” I stopped and sat down right where I was. “Alcohol and running isn’t such a great idea!” I told them as I tried to catch my breath in between giggles.
“Well we’re far enough,” Yvonne shrugged and came to sit down next to me.
“Why’d we have to get far in the first place?” I laughed.
“’Cause those boys are nosier than a month-old kitten.” Kate shook her head and came to sit down along with Sarah and Rita.
“Let me start off by saying, you and David are the most adorable pair I have ever seen!” Sarah exclaimed, putting her hand over her heart.
I tried to conceal my wide smile of joy and failed. “Awh, thanks Sarah.”
“We all really agree Eva, we’ve never seen you this happy.” Rita admitted.
I gasped, putting my fingers to my lips for dramatic effect. “I’m appalled! I’m always happy!” The looks on each of my friends’ faces gave away their thoughts as my eyes bounced from face to face. I furrowed my eyebrows at Kate. “Aren’t I?”
Kate was silent for a few moments before sighing. She put her hand on my shoulder and shrugged. “Not as happy as you are now, baby doll. It’s like you…glow all of a sudden. I’m lovin’ it.”
“The point we’re trying to make is that David is entirely good for you. I mean, it took a while but you finally got your first boyfriend.” Yvonne clapped excitedly.
I beamed. “He is great…of course it’s complicated with Ray and all. But David’s worth it.” Warmth filled my insides as I thought of him. Or was it the alcohol? Definitely David…
“So when did you guys move past the phase of holding hands?” Sarah snickered.
“It must’ve been a while ago with the way you were all over him,” Rita snickered.
I giggled and raised my hands with a silly smile, “I do not kiss and tell.”
“You’ve never kissed before him, so you never had a reason to tell honey.” Kate noted.
I rolled my eyes at her.
“Ugh, we want to know everything!” Rita demanded.
All of a sudden I felt shy as I was put on the spot with all my friends ey
eing me, waiting for my answer. “Well what is there to tell…we like each other?” I shrugged. It was crazy to think about how much David crossed my mind and how much we’d done together…and how little I had to tell them.
“Oh please, Eva-Marie. We want to know the good stuff. When did you guys first kiss? How was your first kiss? Did you use tongue the first time? Is he a good kisser?” Yvonne questioned as if she was a reporter.
“We saw she uses tongue honey,” Kate joked.
“Oh you stop!” I laughed and sighed. “When we first kissed…it was as if I was never meant to experience my first kiss with anyone else but him. It’s intense…I’m not used to this. Whenever I’m with David, I’m just…in a state of bliss. I don’t know how else to describe it.” I looked at them helplessly, they all had experience with relationships and now it was time for them to mentor me through my own.
Kate was grinning and nodding. “He’s the one, Eva-Marie.”
I looked at her questioningly. “What?”
“We can tell by the way you talk about him, baby doll. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Sarah reached over and rubbed my arm.
My eyebrows were furrowed. “The one for what?”
“Oh don’t be dense Eva-Marie,” Rita giggled along with the rest of them; their snickering hinted at what they could possibly be talking about when they said ‘the one’.
I looked at them with realization in my eyes. “As in the one I…?”
“Have sex with? Lose your virginity to? Yes.” Kate answered, cutting to the chase. They all looked at me with burning curiosity.
Heat prickled my face. Of course I’d fantasized about it but I knew I couldn’t actually do it! Could I…? “You all know I’m waiting until marriage.”
Yvonne’s nose scrunched up. “Ewh, so you’re gonna lose your virginity to Ray?”
“Wouldn’t you rather have it with someone who meant something to you?” Sarah asked.
I exhaled, long and loudly. Having to think about Ray and marriage was entirely overwhelming. “Since I was younger I’ve had it set in my mind to lose my virginity…to my husband.” I shrugged, looking down at my fingers.
“I don’t know, darlin’. The way you were all over David says otherwise.” Kate raised her eyebrows and gave me a suggestive smile.
I shrugged. “We shall see.”
Kate had a point; the intensity between David and I wasn’t dying down any time soon, nor was my attraction for Ray growing any time soon. Was I lying to myself in believing that I’d be happy handing over a piece of myself to Ray? I knew for a fact that it’d be like he just won a prize at some tournament and nothing more. I was an object to him and to David I was…everything. At least that’s how he treated me, as if I was the most important priority in his world. I loved that about him. So…wouldn’t I be right in giving it to him, what with him being the one that would actually care?
“Don’t fall asleep on me over there,” David joked as he drove on the way home. I was supposed to be staying the night with Kate, but Timmy had told David he wanted some alone time with her which led to David helping him out and insisting on taking me back to my house.
I had been sitting silently and staring out the window, slowly coming down from my alcohol high. My mind had also been racing with thoughts about my virginity and who I wanted to give it to; the more I thought about it, the more I leaned toward David. However, I wasn’t even sure if I was ready to take it that far! There was too much going on in my mind for me to respond to him.
“Hey Eva-Marie, are you alright?” David asked, sounding concerned.
I looked at him and nodded. Focusing my eyes on the road, I began to think about the situation some more.
“Still drunk?” He questioned, trying to get some more information.
I nodded, knowing he was looking at me.
“How are you feeling?” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking as if he didn’t know how to deal with me at the moment. “Dizzy? Sick? Do you need anything?” David continued to question.
I looked over at him, appreciating his concern for me. I smiled and laughed lightly. “I feel like I’m ready for bed.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” He nodded with his eyes on the road.
I took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to get rid of my nerves. “But I don’t want to go to my bed.” I stared down the side of his face, trying to read any reaction of his.
It was apparent when he realized what I meant. He pursed his lips as he came up with a response. “So where do you want to sleep?” His voice was low.
There were a few beats of silence. “With you.”
I could hear his breathing pick up speed, however, David didn’t speak the rest of the ride. Instead, he kept his eyes fixed on the road, as did I. When we pulled up to his house I waited in my seat, staring forward and wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into, as he came around to open my door. What the hell are you doing? I asked myself as we silently made our way to his front door. Some tension hung in the air…it made me uncomfortable. His house was dark but he held my hand and led me through the darkness. David let go of my hand once we entered a room and he went to turn on a lamp next to the bed. I took that as the opportunity to wipe my hands on my dress – they were sweating like crazy!
“You can have a seat on the bed.” David broke the thick silence with those few words.
I sat down, feeling extremely out of place. What the hell was I thinking? In that moment I was kicking myself for not going home to my own bed! David kneeled down in front of me and removed my shoes. His silence was making me nervous. I gulped hard when he rose and stood, looking down on me with eyes clouded with…need.
“Move back.” David instructed.
I did as I was told, keeping eye contact with him as I did so. Am I doing the right thing? I wondered to myself. If anything, I knew that I didn’t want to have such an experience with Ray and that David was the one who truly cared about me. By thinking that, I had convinced myself that, yes, I was indeed doing the right thing. But then I had to wonder, am I ready for this?
“Lay down, relax.” David laughed slightly through his nose as he got on top of me.
“Sorry,” I apologized. I tried to relax but I couldn’t! All the nerve-endings in my body were on alert.
David rested his hands on either side of my head, hovering over and staring at me. “Are you sure you’re ready?” He asked.
I nodded.
David lowered himself to kiss my neck. The sensation on my neck drove me wild, pulling me away from my thoughts that were making me question my actions. I was breathing heavily as I pulled his face to mine, making deep eye contact with him before he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. His hands traveled as our mouths were locked together. Oh, my body was on fire! David grew more aggressive the more he touched my body, he grunted as he reached under my dress and removed my underwear…nearly ripping them off. I unbuttoned his shirt and trailed my hands down his very well-defined torso. It was as if this man had no flaws! Unexpectedly, David groaned and pulled himself away in the middle of positioning himself to get inside of me. He collapsed on the bed next to me with his hands over his face.
My body went stiff. What had I done wrong? Heat prickled at my body as it always did when I was embarrassed. “David…what’s the problem?” I asked in a small voice.
“I can’t do this to you, Eva-Marie. I won’t do this to you.” He answered without looking at me.
My eyebrows came together. “No, what do you mean?” I asked, worry leaking into my voice.
He rubbed his hands over his face before removing them and looking over at me. “This isn’t how you deserve to lose such a special part of you.”
“This is what I’m choosing to do. I don’t want to have this moment with Ray, I want to have it with you.” I told him.
“I don’t feel right.” David shook his head and sat up.
What was he talking about? I could feel tears poking at my eyes. Ugh, I had to keep it toget
her! “I don’t understand.” I said in a voice weakened by oncoming tears.
“Hey,” he said in a soothing voice when he caught sight of my expression. “This doesn’t change the way I feel about you, at all. I just want you to be sure you’re ready and I want it to feel right. Is that okay?” David gently rubbed my shoulder.
I nodded and wrapped myself up in the cover, turning away from him. I wasn’t upset with him, I just wanted to be left alone so I could think about the situation…and cry by myself…and be embarrassed by myself.
“You sleep in here, I’ll be on the couch if you need me.” David got up from the bed.
Need you? I always need you, I thought to myself.
He walked over to my side of the bed and leaned down to kiss me on the forehead before exiting the room.
Immediately after he left, I let the tears fall and cried silently into the pillow making sure he couldn’t hear me. I was irritated because he was right, something had felt off and I wasn’t even sure if I was ready to take things that far. I was sad because I knew that deep down he was the one I wanted to experience it with. So why didn’t it feel right?
18. All Mine
I couldn’t sleep even if I tried.
As much as I tried to ignore the quiet sniffling in my room, I couldn’t. My inner self was beating me alive. She said you could do it! You haven’t had sex in years! What the fuck is wrong with you! A voice in my head shouted at me. Growing frustrated, I banged my fist into a pillow and turned onto my side. I had really fucked up.
On one hand, I was completely and honestly more aroused than I’d ever been in ages and wanted to go a few rounds with Eva. I mean, it had been a long time since I’d had sexual relations with anyone! However, on the other hand I was taking her into consideration because I truly cared for the girl. I knew that she wasn’t someone that I could just sleep with and forget about. I wanted her to have the best of everything and she didn’t seem too sure about being ready. The last thing I wanted was to cause any disappointment in her life, I couldn’t live with that on my conscience.