by Tiara James
A mean, possessive spirit took over me when I thought of who would be the lucky asshole that she ended up giving her virginity to. The spirit grew even darker as I thought of it being Ray. I hated him. I didn’t like him around her, he was always so forceful and treated her like an object. He didn’t deserve such an outstanding woman like her. I just didn’t understand why he was in the picture. She. Was. Mine.
I gave up trying to go to sleep and just stared at the ceiling. Noticing that the sniffling in my room had ceased, I furrowed my eyebrows and wondered if Eva was asleep. It hurt me to know that I had made her cry due to the fact that I hadn’t agreed to have sex with her, but I didn’t know if she wanted me around to comfort her. It felt off with me being on the couch and having her in the room, so far away from me. It was as if I…needed to be near her, to calm myself down and finally fall asleep.
Making sure I kept quiet just in case she was sleeping, I moved slowly toward the bedroom. I peaked my head in first, only to see that she was still turned away from me. I frowned, I didn’t like that. Steadily, I walked into the room and as I got closer I could hear light snoring. It was adorable to the point where I wanted to laugh but I didn’t want to wake her up. I walked to her side of the bed and looked down at her. Such a beautiful creature awake and at rest. There was just something about her... that drove me absolutely wild and always left me begging for more of her presence. I sighed and walked to the other side of the bed. As if I’d just entered a warm bath, my muscles instantly relaxed once I laid down next to her. That’s what she did to me. I rubbed my eyes and stared at the ceiling as I listened to her snore.
Eva stirred around a bit but didn’t face me. “Couldn’t sleep?” She asked in a soft voice.
“Not quite,” I answered.
She was silent, making me desperately want to know what she was thinking about. I was glad she wasn’t crying anymore, but I couldn’t rest thinking I made her feel unwanted! I just wanted her to understand that I didn’t want to mess our relationship up.
I cleared my throat and began. “I didn’t know how to handle the world before I met you.” I admitted. “Well…you remember how I was when I first met you.” I laughed lightly through my nose, remembering how unpleasant I was to be around when Eva and I first met.
“Yes sir, I could never forget.” Eva giggled quietly. “You shouted at me every time we ran into each other…like an angry troll. Attractive, but angry nonetheless.” She said softly, still facing away from me. I could hear the smile in her voice.
“Exactly.” I sighed, mentally preparing to reveal a side of myself I’d never revealed to anyone besides my two best friends. “When my mom passed at seventeen…I didn’t know what to do. My dad became very bitter and made it extremely hard to have a relationship with him; the only way to get through to him in any way was doing what he wanted me to do. It made him happy, and I gave up all that I wanted to do in life to make him happy, so I could feel like I still had one parent left. That’s how I grew so cold and angry; by forgetting how to live by making myself happy and not my father.”
Eva turned on her side to face me and laid looking up at me with her dark eyes. The moonlight from the window was illuminating her face, making the sight of her in my bed that much more heavenly.
“The day you yelled at me in the elevator was a real wakeup call.” I told her, not looking down at her, instead keeping my eyes fixed on everything but her. Those deep eyes would make me lose my focus. “You told me I spent a lot of my time being mad at the world for no reason, and I needed to hear that. From that point on, when I saw you at the city club and the ball…I just wanted to be different. You made me want to change. Because I saw a light in you that I was jealous of…I wanted to enjoy life just like you do. The night of the ball, I just knew there was something drawing me to you that I can’t get enough of…and still can’t get enough of. You excite me and you bring my world back to life again.”
She gasped. “What a grand compliment to give little ole me, Mr. Finley.” Eva giggled giddily and squeezed the sheets around her tighter.
I laughed lightly through my nose. “My reason in explaining all of this to you is so that you know why I couldn’t do this tonight.”
Eva was silent.
“It didn’t seem to me that you were fully ready and I don’t want to take any risk in disappointing you and destroying our relationship. I care too much about you for that.”
After a few beats of silence, Eva sighed. “Thank you for clarifying.”
“My pleasure.” I nodded.
There were a few moments of silence. Then there were a few minutes. Finally, her soft snoring returned. I was glad I had gotten that off of my chest.
Somehow, that damn Ray snuck back into my mind. He was so full of himself and so rude. I thought back to the New Members’ Ball when I had seen how he grabbed her by the elbow and spun her around. I was close to choking him out right then and there. I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of everyone. It angered me that there were so many obstacles in mine and Eva’s relationship. If I had it my way, both of our parents – and society – would approve of us being together and Ray wouldn’t even be in the picture. She deserved so much better, she deserved to be treated like fucking royalty and he didn’t understand that. He wasn’t good enough for her. Was I? Ugh, competing with him was a fucking hassle, but who would win?
I looked over at her and wondered what I’d do if I lost her to him. It wouldn’t happen. It couldn’t happen. I turned on my side and placed my arm over her, pulling her body close to mine, letting go of the thoughts that were keeping me awake. The sound of her light breathing and the heat of her body were enough to soothe me right to sleep. I loved falling asleep to the woman that was mine.
All mine.
19. It’s a Man’s World
For the first time all summer the temperature had dropped to the low seventies and it felt incredible! The sun was shining but the heat wasn’t too harsh and the breeze had a slight chill to it, which soothed my minor hangover perfectly. I had a newfound sense of hope for David and I’s relationship; what he had revealed to me about his mom passing away and how he felt about me made me realize that everything between us was getting very serious.
David laid out a blanket in his backyard so we could enjoy the weather together; I was leaning across his lap with my elbow propping me up as I read Giada while he trailed his fingers up and down my back and pulled at my curls gently. When I had asked him if he would be bored with my reading he chuckled and said he was never bored in my presence. However, I could tell he was getting fed up when he starting sighing more frequently and tugging on my hair more aggressively. I wanted to laugh at him but I just could not stop reading!
“What’re you reading, Eva?” He broke the silence.
“Hmmm?” I responded, not paying attention. I was at the point in the book where Giada had just escaped the kingdom and was beginning to fight the beasts in order to get to her prince.
David sighed. “Why are you always reading that?”
“Uh huh.”
“Well it must be interesting if it’s got you ignoring me. But you’ve doodled all over the margins, how can you concentrate on what you’re reading?” He asked.
Sighing, I finished reading the last sentence and closed the book. “Here, why don’t you take a look at it yourself?” I handed the book to him. “I’ve read it seven times, anyways.” I left his lap to lie on my back and look up at the clear sky.
David laughed lightly. “Seven times? Why do you like it so much?”
I closed my eyes, deciding the sun was too much, but even with my eyes closed I could tell he was looking at me. “Well I’ve always loved love stories,” I explained, “and it’s very relatable for me. Promise me you’ll read it, David. It’ll teach you about how I see life.”
“I promise. Will it teach me more about you?” He asked.
“Sure.” I shrugged.
I could hear David get closer to me. When I opened my
eyes he was on top of me. His fingers traced along my collarbone and shifted to gently holding the back of my neck. Those heart-stopping blue eyes traveled from my neck, to my lips, and finally into my own dark eyes before he leaned down to kiss me. Instinctively, my hands cupped the sides of his face, the slight scruff tickling my palms. I couldn’t help but smile as he kissed me over and over; it was just a sensational feeling!
“Will this teach me more about you?” He breathed huskily into my ear.
David’s voice alone was enough to make me swoon – goodness, I wanted to shake my head at how inexperienced I was! I giggled and playfully pushed him away. “Maybe, maybe not, sir.”
He laughed and rolled onto his back. “It was worth a try.” He shrugged.
“What time is it?” I asked. Oh how easy it was to forget time existed when I was around David!
He checked his watch. “Around one-thirty.”
I sighed. “I almost forgot I agreed to have brunch with Ray at his place today.”
David shook his head. “I hate him.”
“Hey now, ‘hate’ is a strong word.” I furrowed my eyebrows while scolding him lightly.
He looked me in the eye. “I feel strongly about you.”
I nodded. “You know I do too.”
“Skip the brunch, Eva.” David commanded.
I smiled weakly at him. “We both know I can’t do that, he’d run and go tell my parents.” Of course I hated the fact that I had to divide my time with David for Ray, but I was just trying to keep everyone happy.
David sighed and rose to his feet. “Okay, okay. Then let’s go, don’t want you on punishment again.” He held his hands out to help me up.
Once I was on my feet I jumped up, wrapping my legs around him and kissed him repeatedly, just wanting to show how much I hated leaving him. I rested my forehead on his. “You don’t understand how happy you make me, David.”
He half-smiled. “I think I have a good guess.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Oh you do? Well you don’t know if you make me this happy,” I held out my arms. “Or this happy,” I expanded them further. “Or this happy!” I spread my arms as far as they could go.
“How about this happy!” David spun me around.
I couldn’t stop laughing as he set me back down. “Okay, I get it, you have a good guess!” I caught my breath.
He kissed me on the forehead and threw his arm around my shoulder, leading me back down to the stream. David helped me down onto the makeshift bridge but I lightly swatted his hand away when he tried to help me up onto my side.
“No, no sir I can do it myself.” I said proudly.
David shook his head and picked me up anyways. “Oh don’t be silly Eva, I’d help you even if you were kicking and screaming telling me not to.”
I rolled my eyes but smiled at him. “Such a gentleman.”
“I’m anything for you.” He smiled warmly.
I began retreating toward my house. “Well until next time, David, since you love the element of surprise so much.” I teased with a half-smile.
“Oh shoot! I almost forgot to tell you!” He exclaimed
I stopped and looked at him questioningly. “Forgot to tell me what?”
“My father wants to meet you, Eva.” David looked at me cautiously.
My heart fell to my stomach – I didn’t know whether to be ecstatic or terrified! “What? You told him about us?” I asked.
David shook his head. “No…uh…he heard some things.”
“Oh.” I was unsure of what to say. “When?”
“Tomorrow for dinner, maybe?” He looked at me expectantly.
“Does he know…?” I trailed off.
“Know what?” He asked.
I motioned to myself as a whole.
David sighed and nodded. “Yes. That’s actually what I wanted to discuss.”
I knew bad news was coming, the anticipation made my stomach twist. “What is it?”
“As we predicted, he doesn’t approve…and he wants me to end it with you so I can focus more on work. He told me to invite you to dinner so he can make sure that it’s over.” He watched me intently.
My heart began to race and I became worried instantly. “What’re you saying David? You’re not making any sense.”
“Of course I don’t want to end it!” David held his hands up and shook his head. “I just need your help in making him think that I’m ending it.”
I calmed down and pondered it. “What do I need to do?”
“You’ll just have to follow my lead…and promise, oh God Eva you have got to promise that you know nothing I’ll say is true.” David said.
“As long as you don’t get out of line,” I looked at him with a serious expression and then sighed, “then I’ll help you. It’s only fair since I’m hiding you as well.”
David beamed. “Great, I’ll let him know. Have fun with Ray, Eva.” He teased.
“I’ll be thinking of you!” I called and blew a kiss to him before heading to my car.
I grew nervous as I made my way to Ray’s place – I was going to meet David’s father! I never imagined I would be introduced to someone’s parents in such a manner. Why did everything with David and I have to be so backwards? My mind raced aimlessly as I drove. Would David’s father believe that David was actually ending our relationship? How would his father treat me? If it was anything like how the kids at the ice cream parlor treated me, I would’ve had to rethink my decision…
Pulling up to Ray’s, I tried to shake off any thoughts that were making me feel uneasy but I always felt that way in Ray’s presence. It wasn’t getting any easier being around him, but I was doing a damn good job at faking it! He rose from his seat on the porch and came to greet me. I plastered the fake smile on my face and prepared myself to endure numerous conversations about his success, his work, and his future. Excuse me, our future. Ugh.
“Hello love, it’s a pleasure to see you. How are you feeling since getting sick?” Ray asked as he opened my door and helped me out of my car.
“I’m fine now, it’s a miracle Kate got me up this morning.” I lied.
Ray nodded. “Well I’m glad you’re alright, I have a lovely brunch waiting for us on my back patio.” He pulled me close and kissed me on the cheek.
I smiled tightly, groaning in my head and wishing I could leave already.
The table on Ray’s back patio had been covered with a white tablecloth and a vase with a single pink tulip, two covered plates sat on the table in front of the seats across from each other. If he was trying to impress me, it didn’t work; I walked in and took my own seat before he could pull it out for me. My stomach growled and for the first time I was thankful for Ray for only one reason – he was going to give me some food!
“A little anxious, aren’t we?” He stood behind my chair and squeezed my shoulders. “But not so fast, dear.” Ray picked up the plate in front of me and switched it with the one at the other end of the table before opening a bottle of champagne and filling our glasses.
I stared at the bubbling liquid, not in the mood for alcohol. “Water will be fine, thank you.”
“You’ll enjoy the champagne Eva, dear.” Ray took his seat.
I rolled my eyes at him and reached to uncover my plate but Ray slammed his hand on the table.
“Not yet.” He instructed. “First I would like to tell you about the triumph I’ve recently experienced at the firm.”
“If you must,” I said in a clipped tone. I was hungry and I was getting impatient, but I swallowed back my mean words and rested my chin in my palm as I looked at him.
“Be a lady, Eva-Marie, get your elbows off the table.” Ray scolded.
“We aren’t eating, honey.” I smiled sweetly, hoping he was getting as annoyed as I was.
Ray sighed. “We were doing so well, honey. Why must you be so complicated?”
I remembered the promise I had made to my mom about getting along with Ray and reluctantly removed my elbows from the ta
ble and sat back in my seat. “I’m all ears.” I tried to smile…I wasn’t sure if it showed up or not. All I wanted to do was eat, not hear about his stupid job! Whatever made him shut up quicker, whatever made him happy…
Ray smiled. “I knew you’d want to hear.” He took a sip of his champagne and began explaining a stupid story about how he recently hired a secretary, which frees him up a bit during the week to see me more often. He also brought up the new case he was working on involving a divorced couple fighting over money. “The case will be a quick one, but big money.” He said.
I furrowed my eyebrows. “Why do you think that? It could take years.” I tried to sound genuinely interested.
“It is clear who made the money in their relationship, the man. And whether the woman likes it or not, it’s a man’s world… and what he wants he’ll get.” Ray shrugged and took another sip.
I felt truly disgusted by his words, but I knew better than to argue with him about anything. “Oh.”
Ray rubbed his hands together. “Okay, enough small talk. Let’s have brunch.” He uncovered his plate, revealing a mouthwatering omelet with a side of potatoes and fruit.
The smell of his food hit my nose with such delight, causing my stomach to growl louder than I’d expected. I was actually excited to eat! I didn’t realize I hadn’t eaten breakfast with David. I uncovered my plate only to reveal sheer disappointment. On my plate there was nothing but dry a blueberry scone and a sad array of colorful fruit! What the hell?
Ray was watching me stare at my plate. “What are you waiting for? Dig in, Eva.”
I didn’t respond, I was thinking of the perfect way to display my anger. Why wasn’t I eating an omelet with potatoes? I was starving and all I could get was fruit and bread!
“Well aren’t you going to eat?” Ray asked, chewing his food.
“Well is this my appetizer?” I responded with an attitude.
Ray swallowed his food and wiped his mouth. “I don’t want you to lose that good figure of yours, Eva-Marie.”
I raised my eyebrow and looked away from him. What a rude asshole.