The Improbable

by Tiara James

  “Eat, Eva.” Ray commanded. “And drink your champagne before it gets warm.”

  I tore off a small piece of the scone with my hands and chewed slowly. I was highly upset at the fact that instead of chewing on a scrumptious piece of omelet, a dehydrated piece of bread was rubbing up against the inside of my mouth.

  “Use your silverware. Why are you acting like this?” Ray questioned. It was evident he was growing more impatient.

  “I don’t want to eat this.”

  “You will eat it.”

  I knew he was my future and I knew my only job was to keep him happy, but I was extremely fed up with him at the moment. I took my champagne flute and tossed the liquid out.

  “What the hell are you doing Eva? Just eat your food!” Ray glared at me from across the table.

  “This isn’t what I want.” I said stubbornly.

  “We’re not getting up from this table until your food is gone, Eva-Marie.” He told me.

  I threw my scone over the balcony and tossed the fruit. I knew I was acting like a child but I had really had it with him!

  Ray’s fist slammed down onto the table. “Dammit Eva-Marie I spent good money on this food!”

  “It’s not what I want!” I answered.

  Ray slammed his silverware down on the table and took a deep breath, calming himself down. He rose from his seat and walked over to me, holding his hand out. “Let’s not do this, Eva. Come inside, I have some music I want you to hear.”

  I could tell he was learning how to deal with me, reluctantly, but learning nonetheless. When was he ever going to give up on me? Was I really worth the hassle? I sighed, giving in and followed him inside to his living room.

  Ray put a record on and slow jazz began to serenade the room, easing the tension.

  I stood and stared out the window as I listened to the music, trying to calm myself down. The whole situation could’ve been avoided if Ray had given me a proper meal, that’s all I wanted. I knew he was probably going to tell my parents about my acting out and that truly wasn’t what I needed. I turned to look at Ray who was staring at me already. I sighed, “I’m sorry, Ray. I just wanted a proper meal was all, I don’t know what came over me.”

  Ray shook his head. “All is well, Eva-Marie.” He held his hand out to me. “Let’s dance.”

  Okay, I hadn’t gotten over it that quickly. I smiled weakly and shook my head. “Oh no, I’m fine.”

  He half-smiled and pulled me close anyways and began swaying from side to side.

  My body was tense under his touch and I felt awkward with him smiling at me. I shifted awkwardly under his gaze, placing my hands on his shoulders.

  “Loosen up, Eva.” Ray told me in a low voice.

  I relaxed my muscles slightly and half-heartedly moved side to side with him. He twirled me around and pulled me close again.

  It was astonishing to see what a change in the mood there was. He seemed so…at ease. In my mind I hoped he would forget about my behavior and not tell my parents. I loosened up completely and even leaned my head on his chest – it was just a dance it wouldn’t hurt, right?

  “See? I’m not so bad, Eva.” Ray said as he lightly rubbed my back.

  “Hmm,” was all I could say. It wasn’t because I was enjoying it, but because I didn’t want to give him an answer that gave him leeway to believing that he’d won me over.

  Ray’s hands began to get curious as they moved down to my lower back.

  I didn’t look at him as I moved his hands away from my bottom.

  His hands didn’t give up. Next, they came around the front onto my stomach and trailed up all the way to my chest.

  The mental red flag was waving in my head. I stepped back and shook my head. “Now Ray, I’m not comfortable with that.” I forced myself to look him in the eye to let him know I was serious.

  Ray chuckled and took a step toward me. “Fine. Just a kiss, then?”

  I looked at him unsurely, not liking the look in his eyes.

  He came closer, slowly moving his face closer to mine and landing his lips on to mine. Oh, nothing like when David kissed me! Ray pulled back and looked into my eyes, breathing heavily.

  I did my best to mask the fact that I didn’t enjoy the kiss. I cleared my throat. “Let’s just stick to dancing, shall we?” I said quietly.

  Ray didn’t listen; he grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me in for another kiss, more fiercely this time. I tried to pull back but his grip was too strong! The red flag in my head was going insane when he pushed me down on to the couch, it was then I knew I had to get out of there!

  “No, Ray I don’t want to do this.” I tried to keep my voice from sounding panicked. However, all the panic in my mind broke loose when he moved to get on top of me and wrapped his hand around my neck. My eyes widened as I looked at him with pleading eyes. “Please, I really don’t.” I said in a small voice.

  Ray leaned down and whispered into my ear, “Remember Eva, it’s a man’s world and what he wants…he’ll get.”

  I cried out, begging him to stop as he kissed my neck and chest then moving back up to my mouth, trying to silence me. I hit him repeatedly and tried to push him away with no success. He pushed his weight down harder on me and held my neck tighter. Ray scratched my chest when he tried to rip my shirt off making me scream out in pain but thankfully giving up when the shirt wouldn’t budge.

  “You want to act up, this is what you get!” Ray growled. “No more bullshit, Eva-Marie, no more.”

  “Stop it! Please just stop! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I cried.

  Ray grabbed my wrists tightly and held them together above my head, digging his nails into my skin as he held them there. One of his hands moved to pry my legs open and I immediately began praying that God wouldn’t let me lose my virginity in such a way.

  “Please stop! Please!” I yelled.

  Ray ignored my screams and resumed kissing my neck and rubbing his free hand all over, making my stomach twist in fear, disgust, and helplessness. When it was apparent that he wasn’t going to give up any time soon, I shut my eyes and then prayed that it would at least be over soon. Miraculously, my prayers were answered when Ray’s doorbell rang!

  He huffed and got up to check out the window. “Clean yourself up, you’re a mess. My client is here.”

  With no time to think about it, I wiped the tears from my face and the smeared lipstick and tried to catch my breath while Ray went to open the door.

  Ray opened the door after straightening himself up. “Mr. Golding, how are you?”

  “Hello Mr. Jackson, am I interrupting something?” Mr. Golding asked, still standing outside. “I saw the other car in the driveway.”

  I grabbed my purse and my keys and bolted out the door. I sprinted to my car, eager to get as far away from Ray as fast as humanly possible!

  “I’ll call later to check on you, dear!” Ray called after me.

  I started my car and took off in record time. I wanted to throw up, I felt so disgusted! The sound of his breathing in my ear and the feeling of his hands touching me all over played over and over in my head, driving me insane to the point where I pulled the car over once I was close to the highway.

  “I hate him! I hate him! I fucking hate him!” I yelled as I hit the steering wheel repeatedly before I got out of the car gasping for air and sat on the ground away from the road, leaning against the side of my car.

  I was crying and panting, grabbing handfuls of hair and pulling them as I wondered why I went over there in the first place. Who would I tell? Could I even tell anyone? Definitely not David, he would kill Ray with his bare hands. My parents? No. I didn’t want to be around anyone! I couldn’t stand the feeling of helplessness Ray cast over me by trying to take advantage of me. It just made me realize exactly how helpless I was in my own life – I controlled absolutely nothing. I had no power. I cried for hours, sat there against my car for hours.

  Never wanting to be found.

  Just wanting to be in my
pain. Alone.

  20. Stay With Me

  “What’re you cleaning up for, David? We’re just having a quick dinner and then you’re letting her go. You shouldn’t have so much sympathy for a negro, son.” Warren commented as I straightened things up at the dinner table.

  “Stop calling her that, before I change my mind about staying in this family.” I snapped without looking at him.

  Warren sighed. “We both know you wouldn’t dare do that, son. Just calm down.”

  “And dammit, Pop, don’t you think you could cut the air conditioning on? It’s burning hot in here.” In order to not go off on him any further, I went to the living room and began taking down anything that gave my father away as the Chief of Police.

  “What’re you doing, son?” My father asked as he watched me.

  “I told her I was in law school. I’m undercover, remember?” I said in a flat voice as I cleared police achievement awards from the shelves. I stopped on my mom’s photograph, my heart instantly melting. She was so beautiful and so happy! I wondered if she’d have the same reaction to Eva as my father did; I mean, she’d be happy if I was happy…right?

  “That was taken when she found out she was pregnant,” My father mentioned.

  My resistance toward him faded as I remembered how badly I had hurt him at the fair, using her death against him. That had been hanging in the back of my head like a dark phantom. “That was so long ago, she looks beautiful.” I mumbled. “Look, Pop. What I said the other night, I really am sorry, I was out of line.”

  My father held his hand up and shook his head. “We don’t need to talk about it. Apology accepted.”

  I smiled weakly at him; I wanted so badly to have a real relationship with my father, but everything he did and the way he acted made him so cold and impossible to get through to. All along I’d been hoping that figuring out the case would get his approval and maybe even love but then I began thinking he was never going to change – especially after I thought about what he was making me do to Eva. My heartbeat quickened when I saw her car pull into the driveway.

  “She’s here,” I sighed, trying to release my anxiety over what was about to happen.

  “It’ll be quick and easy, son, don’t stress it. You’re doing the right thing, you have more important issues to worry about.” My father patted me on the back and disappeared into the kitchen.

  I opened the door and walked out to go meet Eva, who still hadn’t gotten out the car. “Good evening, beautiful.” I opened the door for her.

  She had been staring straight forward with a blank face before she looked up at me with empty eyes. “Hi David.”

  I was thrown off by her whole demeanor; I knew what we were about to do wasn’t going to be easy even to fake it but she knew it wasn’t real nonetheless. To top it off she was dressed in a white button up that was buttoned all the way up her neck and a knit cardigan – in the summer. What was wrong with her? “How are you doing?” I asked, fishing for the answer so I wouldn’t have to wonder all night.

  Eva shrugged slowly, still staring at me with those cold eyes. “I’m fine.” She finally got out of the car.

  “Are you sure? You look sad.” I grabbed both sides of her face gently. “We both know this isn’t what I really want, it’s just for him to get off of my back about it.”

  Eva held her hands up and took a step back. “Please don’t touch me.”

  I furrowed my eyebrows at her. “What’s going on, Eva?”

  “Can we just do this and get it over with?” She began walking hastily toward my father’s house.

  I caught up to her and grabbed her hand.

  “I said don’t touch me, David.” She jabbed her finger at me.

  “I just need to know that we’re okay before we do this.” I looked her directly in the eyes.

  The warmth slightly returned to her eyes as she sighed. “We’re fine, David.” She smiled weakly at me.

  It gave me assurance but I still wanted to know what was wrong with her. However, I didn’t want to upset her just before our little stunt. I led her into my father’s house and mentally prepared myself to deal with the situation.

  “In here, David.” My father called from the dining room table.

  I took a deep breath before entering with Eva. “Pop, this is Eva-Marie.”

  Eva waved timidly as if she was waving at a monster to see if it would attack her. “Hello, sir.”

  “Oh the notorious, Eva-Marie. Please, both of you have a seat.” My father instructed.

  Eva sat at the end of the table directly in front of my father and I sat in the seat adjacent to her, I wanted so badly to know what was going through her mind at the moment but I couldn’t even put a finger on what was going through my own mind! She looked around at the walls and the floors and then at my father.

  “This is a nice house you have here, sir.” Eva complimented in a low voice. She was still being sweet to him, even knowing that she wasn’t in good graces with him – the girl was mind-blowing!

  “Why thank you,” My father took a sip of water and then sat back and stared at the both of us for a long moment. There was so much tension in the air it was getting hard to breathe.

  “Is dinner coming soon?” I asked to break the awkward silence.

  My father shook his head. “Now David, you and I both know this wasn’t set up to be an ordinary dinner.” He raised his eyebrows at me.

  “Yes sir, I understand.” I replied.

  Eva twiddled her thumbs in her lap and I could see sweat forming on her forehead. It was hot in my father’s house with no air conditioning but she also had on those winter clothes; looking at her sweat was making me hot and uncomfortable and I didn’t need that on top of dealing with my father. As if she read my mind Eva removed her cardigan, revealing a sleeveless button-up and keeping her arms in her lap. “What are we here for if not dinner?” She looked at me questioningly.

  “We have to talk…about us.” I answered, leaning back in my chair.

  Eva’s eyebrows came together. “What about us, David?”

  My father sighed. “I’m going to guess that my son didn’t bother to tell you the real reason he invited you here tonight?”

  “I was going to get to that, let me do this Pop.” I tried to intervene before he said some things that I didn’t plan on her hearing. But neither of them paid attention to me. Eva’s eyes were still emotionless and empty and my father was looking at her expectantly.

  “No, I can’t say that he did.” Eva said in a flat tone and reached for her glass of water. As she was reaching for her water, on her wrist I could see nail marks dug into her skin along with a slight bruise in the shape of fingers.

  Instantly, rage flamed inside of me and I felt my nostrils flare. My thoughts scattered all throughout my brain. Who hurt her? Why hadn’t she let me know sooner? I was going to murder whoever it was that had put their hands on her! But I couldn’t let my fury show, due to the present situation in front of me. I firmly gripped my glass of water and swallowed hard, wishing it was strong liquor to mellow me out and keep me from being so on edge.

  “Ah, of course he didn’t.” My father clasped his hands together and leaned on the table. “What is it exactly that you and my son have going on, Ms. Hutchinson? From what I remember, you got him arrested the first time he met you. Am I supposed to believe that you’re any good for him?”

  Eva cleared her throat, still not showing any emotion. “Well, sir, that was a misunderstanding of a night where I’d had too many drinks and thought that David was trying to hurt me, when in actuality he was only trying to save me.”

  “So you lied?” My father questioned.

  “I didn’t lie, I wasn’t sure of what happened when they found me.” She said, still in a flat tone.

  “This has nothing to do with what he have to talk about.” I looked at him.

  “Oh but it has everything to do with this, son.” He said and then focused his attention back on Eva. “What business do you have wi
th my son? You’re no good for him.”

  “We enjoy each other’s company, sir.” Eva answered simply.

  “Well I’m his father and I know what’s best for him; and right now I can tell you that he doesn’t need any useless distractions such as yourself.” My father jabbed his finger at her.

  I tried to intervene and get to the point but I just couldn’t find it in me to do so. It was better him ending it with her than me, I couldn’t do it I was too in….was I really?

  “I don’t think I’m a distraction, I mean David would have told me…right, David?” Eva looked at me with a questioning expression…but still with empty eyes.

  “I was going to,” I said in a low voice, looking down into my lap.

  “But what?” She asked me.

  I shook my head. “I just didn’t know how to tell you, I’m sorry but I can’t do this with you anymore. It’s not working and you’re getting in the way of more important things.” I sighed and bore my eyes into hers, trying my best to get my father to believe that this was actually happening. It hurt to see her empty, sad eyes still not responding. What was wrong with my girl?

  “You’re two different people; he’s on the road to success and you’re nothing but a negro whore that I’m sure is living off of your father’s money that can’t offer my son a damn thing. You’re just trying to distract my son in hopes that one day you can survive off of his money, I see right through you and I have news for you, it’s not going to happen!” He shouted at her.

  “That’s way out of line, Pop!” I slammed my hand on the table, unable to listen to him disrespect her in such a way.

  “How else will the negro get it through her thick skull?” My father asked while staring dead at Eva.

  Eva’s expression still hadn’t changed! She was really going out without a fight. “Well sir,” Eva said as she rose and put her cardigan back on, “I’m sorry you feel that way about me.” She turned and looked at me, speaking near a whisper. “David, I can’t believe I ever trusted you,” Eva shook her head, “do us all a favor and stay out of my life – for good.” Eva turned to walk out the door.