Butcher, Baker, Vampire Slayer: A Retelling of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night

by Juliann Whicker

  Would Orion mind my playing? I glanced at Francis who was still at the top of the steps and nodded at me encouragingly. His eyes twinkled like we had a grand joke between us. What was the punch-line?

  I pulled out the violin case and set it carefully on the dark carpet, thick, padded carpet that would be pleasant to take a nap on. I could use a nap. I drew the bow, tightened it, rosined it, and then turned my attention to the violin. I tuned it, quietly, feeling at every moment like I was venturing into a huge mistake.

  Finally, without anything left to do, I stood adjusted my position and played the first thing that came to my mind. The violin sang more sweetly than any instrument I’d ever played, coming alive in my hands as though it ached to be heard. The room grew silent as everyone turned to watch me. No, they weren’t watching me. They were watching Orion whose face was away from me so that the only thing I could see was the back of his dark head. Suddenly, he rose in a fluid motion turning to face me with a terrifying expression on his face.

  My hand jerked and the sound was like screaming across the strings as we stared at each other, his eyes on me as though he were looking at me from the inside out until he finally blinked and turned back around.

  I stared at his bent head, but he didn’t do anything other than pick up a paper and hold it in his hand from his now upright position. The other boys were still watching me. I gritted my teeth, determined to give them something to watch. I played, turning to face the wall, the curtains, the shadows where my parent’s memories throbbed. I played songs I’d always disliked, Haydn, Bach, mournful odes of love and loss that I’d felt were pretentious for me to play before I’d had this grief, this horrible burden of unshed tears. I played very badly, actually missing notes and slurring changes, but when I’d played until my arms were shaking and my fingertips burned I felt exhausted enough that I knew I’d be able to sleep when I finally made my way to my bed that night.

  I put away the violin carefully, rubbed it down with the cloth, loosened the bow, and closed the case. I was walking past Orion when I heard his voice. It wasn’t loud, but that voice was impossible to ignore. I turned and he was still looking at his paper, but his words hung in the air.

  “Tancetta, sit.”

  I scowled at him at the specimen of perfect manhood that could order me around like a dog.

  He glanced up at me, and his eyes were full of emotion that I couldn’t begin to fathom. I wanted to understand him. I walked towards him, slowly until I sat on the far side of the couch so that we wouldn’t accidentally brush arms and I’d forget myself. I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Nice lair. I wouldn’t expect musical instruments in a man-cave, but I like it.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “No one has played that violin for years.”

  “Pity. It’s a good piece.”

  He frowned. “My brother played that violin before he died.”

  I swallowed and rubbed the legs of my pants with my now sweaty palms. “Francis knew that you wouldn’t like me playing his violin. Nice guy.”

  His features smoothed and his mouth pursed, his beautiful lips like cinnamon that I wanted to taste. No, that I did not want to taste. Not remotely.

  “Francis likes to stir things up. Don’t take it personally. I don’t mind you playing, I don’t really mind anyone playing, it’s just that it reminds me of him.”

  I frowned at him. “Don’t you like to remember your brother?”

  “No.” His voice was as absolute as his gaze, heavy on me. “That is, I find it difficult.”

  I sighed and nodded, leaning over my knees to stare at the dark rug. “I understand. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Francis said that it would help cheer you up, and after what you did last night, I thought that the least I could do… Anyway. Now I know.”

  He put a hand out towards me, but the couch was long and I’d specifically sat out of reach. He let his hand fall down to the dark, red velvet, his hands so strong, so powerful, like perfectly articulated weapons.

  He cleared his throat. “What did I do last night?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Larceny? Breaking and entering? I really… I needed that. It helped me to feel close to them.” I shook my head. I was sounding too full of feminine emotions. “I’ve got to go. Got some reading…” I got up and bolted out of there before I gave myself away.

  Chapter 9

  The Butcher

  That night, after I’d gone through the reports and talked through some small issues with a few older Butchers, I went out with Francis’s team.

  He saw me coming and tried to duck down an alley, but I grabbed him by the back of his coat and hauled him beside the group. It was a good mix of more and less experienced Butchers who would circuit through North City to keep the monsters at bay. It should be a mild enough route. No one was pushing deep tonight.

  “How is she?” My voice was barely audible to him.

  He seemed surprised by my question. “Olivia? I think she has a crush on Tancetta, to be honest. Maybe you shouldn’t send someone with eyes like that to do your romantic work.”

  “Eyes like what?”

  “Pale green, like mystical waters, like pools in an enchanted forest, Olivia talked like one of those really bad writers who can’t stop with the metaphors. You haven’t noticed his eyes? He gazes at you often enough.”

  I glanced to my right, taking in his expression, even in the darkness I could read the mischief he intended. “They aren’t angry very often anymore, but are sad and tired. The light green with his dark skin is odd.”

  “Oh, no. Olivia insists that it’s striking. He has a sister. Olivia went on about how much she hates Viola, being soft, smart, everyone’s little darling, and all the while completely oblivious about how beautiful she was, how compelling her eyes were when she talked to one of the male teachers in her low, sultry voice. Olivia apparently dislikes the sister almost as much as she likes the brother. Apparently, they have the same eyes.”

  “Apparently the two of you are as gossipy as a pack of werewolves.”

  He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about the violin. I just wanted to see what you’d do.”

  “Did I pass the test?” My voice was flat, but he knew exactly how much I liked being tested.

  He laughed lightly, a laugh that danced along the edge of my anger, testing it. "I think it’s very likely that he’ll present you with loaves of bread any time now. I don’t see how you got him from being Tancetta who punched you in the face, to someone who would play the violin for you like that. I don’t know, Orion. Maybe you should take Olivia out for some harmless good fun. Larceny, breaking and entering if I heard right, seem to do wonders.”

  I exhaled and focused on the night, the ground beneath my boots, the Butchers who flanked me as we walked through the waiting darkness. What I was doing with Tancetta was apparent to the other Butchers. Of course it was. I had touched him publicly multiple times, even embracing him that first day in front of Toby. Toby wouldn’t have a still tongue in his foolish head; he would rattle until the whole school was ringing with the news that Orion was pushing Tancetta to be a Baker. So what if I was?

  I left the group of Butchers to address an area where there had been reports of odd noises that the werewolves weren’t interested in investigating instead of staying with Francis and his knowing glances.

  After I’d come back to Calder from my skirmish with ghouls on my nightly adventure, I walked down the dark hall towards my room. Toby and Andrew sprang from the shadows, blocking my path to my bed.

  I raised my eyebrows, crossing my arms over my chest, feet tired and aching. I had to gather my patience for moments like this. “Evening, Toby, Andrew. If you wanted to go out with me, I’m afraid you’ve missed it. I’ve come in for the night.”

  Toby’s eyes narrowed at me. “What’s going on with Tancetta?”

  His drunken slur gave away why he thought that he could ask me personal questions in the middle of the night.

&
nbsp; “Tancetta?” I replied, as though I didn’t recognize the name.

  “You’re treating him special. We’ve both noticed it, haven’t we Andy?” he asked, turning to peer up at gangly Andy who sniffed his large, red nose in agreement.

  “You ate dinner with him.”

  “That’s when I was sure,” Toby slurred, nodding wisely. “The first day, when you hugged him I was too shocked for it to sink in, but after the dinner, he looked all sad and pathetic, and you gave him your energy. I saw it. Saw his head lift and your eyes droop. He’s a Baker, isn’t he?”

  I exhaled and shrugged. “I think he might be.”

  “He hates you,” Toby protested. “I know that you’re The Butcher, and I’m not as capable at slaughtering the nightly beasts, but he hates you. It’s not fair that you get a Baker after you treated him like trash for so many years.”

  “How did you treat him?” I asked, mild irritation growing to something much more dangerous.

  He wrinkled his nose as he pondered the question. “Not good,” he finally admitted, turning to Andy with a shrug. “But if he can forgive you, why not me?”

  “Who said that he has forgiven me?”

  “You’re kidding right?” Andy asked, all slack-jawed. “He stares at you like one of the first years.” He clasped his hands and wove back and forth, eyes shining far too bright. “I’m so sad, Orion, I think I’m going to cry. Can I use your shirt for my hanky?” He faux sobbed into his fists which quickly turned into loud, drunken sobs, which Toby responded to by throwing an arm over the skinny boy’s shoulder, slapping his arm messily.

  “There, there, Tancetta. I’ll take care of you. All you have to do is bake me muffins.”

  The two men broke apart, beaming at me as though that performance was award worthy.

  “Fine,” I said, stepping forward, knocking them both back stumbling. “I’m having Tancetta as my Baker. I don’t want you to upset my delicate friend. If I hear that you said or did anything to scare him away from accomplishing my desires, I will personally feed you to wraiths.”

  They squeaked and whimpered as I stalked past them, through the hall that seemed to go in the wrong direction, away from Tancetta.

  “Sure, sure, Orion,” Toby called after me, trying to soothe me. “We won’t say anything. Don’t worry. We’d never interfere with you.”

  I scowled and went to my room and away from the hunger that had been building ever since he’d come back to school, when I’d been giving him my energy furtively. What bothered me most as I settled between my black sheets was what he would think when someone called him Baker to his face. I had influence, power, but how could I prevent an entire school from voicing something as worthy of gossip as that?

  Chapter 10

  The Baker

  The week went by steadily enough. I hit my stride in my classes, focusing on the things to do and ignoring distractions, the biggest one being Orion. When I saw him, I died a little in a completely irrational way. He was beautiful. Not just beautiful, but the way he cared about Olivia made me want to curl up and die, or make him a pie. He was serious, but he didn’t push me away like my brother always had, calling me an energy drain. If he were my brother, he wouldn’t leave me alone. Sometimes I felt so angry at Sebastian, pushing me, pushing me to bake and bake after our parents… and then he just left when he was strong enough to go. When Orion touched me, just a casual brush, it gave me a rush or what was probably hormones but somehow I felt less alone, almost like I belonged in Calder School for Boys.

  Thursday, everything was pretty low-key before the fat kid came up to me, the one who had chased me the first day.

  He smiled at me widely. “Hi there, Tancetta. Olivia wants to talk to you.” He winked at me and handed me a small phone. I took it feeling weird, particularly when he patted my hand awkwardly. I scowled at him while I put the phone up to my ear.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi. I hope you’re not busy.”

  It really was Olivia. I stared at Toby’s face that seemed open and innocent, but there was something cunning and nasty underneath all of that. “I am, actually. I have a class…”

  “Then I’ll hurry. I was thinking about what you were saying about how I need to talk to someone, someone who understands, so I thought that you’d be perfect. I mean, you understand loss, understand pain and I really need to talk to someone.”

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “I guess… I mean if Orion doesn’t mind, I guess we can talk sometime next week…”

  “Today, four-thirty, at the park across from Calder. I’ll be waiting on the bench by the pond. Thanks so much! You have no idea what this means.” She hung up before I could protest.

  I scowled as I turned off the phone and then jumped back when Toby came too close to get the phone. I tossed it to him and turned around, stalking away from him. He didn’t seem to notice, just fell in beside me.

  “What’s going on with my cousin? Does she want you to bake her a loaf of bread?”

  I glanced over and glared at him. Was that a new disgusting male saying? “She’s your cousin? Show some more respect.” I walked quickly to my class, grateful that he didn’t follow me with more helpful rejoinders. The look on his face had been disappointed, like he’d expected to get more of a rise out of me. Right, the old Sebastian would have tried to kill him with a violin bow.

  I scowled until I was walking and saw Francis, smile brightening when he saw me.

  “How goes it, Tancetta?”

  I frowned at him. “Do you know where I can find Orion?”

  He positively beamed at me. “I think I might. Do you have something specific you wanted to talk about, or just missed him?”

  I stared at him before I let my scowl darken, covering up my embarrassment. Yes, I wanted to see him. I hadn’t seen him all day and frankly, I really, really liked seeing him. Maybe I’d just used the Olivia thing as an excuse. “Never mind.”

  I turned away and he grabbed my arm then dropped it, like I was a hot potato, actually how my brother acted around me. Maybe some people just react to different energy differently. Maybe that explained certain phenomena like love at first sight.

  “He’s in the gym. Sorry about the crack. Orion doesn’t have a lot of friends, but he definitely needs more.”

  I nodded and felt a little bit better. Was Orion lonely too? The thought hardly made sense and yet, he was always apart even from those who respected and admired him most. I hesitated and then went to the gym. I would be late to English class, but the teacher was pretty lenient about that kind of thing.

  I pushed open the gym doors and stood for a minute leaning against the door, watching Orion wrestle with a pretty small kid. Orion flipped the kid onto his back and then explained the move in a slow, methodical way, repeating himself when the kid still didn’t understand. I had a few coaches like that, but patience was the exception more than the rule.

  He glanced up at me and our eyes met. I stood there, held in that gaze while my heart pounded until he turned and said something to the kid. He walked over to me. By the time he reached me, we were alone in the gym.

  “Were you looking for somebody?”

  “Yes.”

  He raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to clarify.

  “You, actually. Francis told me that I could find you here.”

  “Do you want some lessons in wrestling?” He gestured towards the blue mat and I had this searing image of him on top of me that I shoved into the furthest reaches of my mind.

  “No! I have to get to English.”

  He tilted his head slightly as he studied me, his gaze analytical as he looked into my eyes. “You always have to rush off.”

  “I just wanted to ask, to tell you that I’m meeting Olivia at four-thirty at the park today. She wants someone to talk to, I guess, and she thinks I’ll be able to understand.”

  He studied me, his eyes narrowing before he turned to the side. “Olivia can be very aggressive. Do you want some pointers?”

&
nbsp; I shrugged. “I just want you to know that I’m not trying to steal your girl.”

  His eyes practically sparkled, but his lips barely smiled. His mouth. There wasn’t anything all that fantastic about it, but for some reason I found his smile absolutely breathtaking. “Olivia isn’t my girl. I’m sure she told you that very clearly. She doesn’t belong to me any more than you do. Come here, Tancetta. It would be good for you to learn how to break out of the grip of an opponent.”

  “I don’t really have time for…”

  Orion pulled his shirt up and over his head, leaving me with his creamy perfection to knock all sensible thoughts out of my head. He took my fingers, only the slightest pressure of his hand as he led me towards the mat.

  I found myself facing him, feeling thankfully overdressed in my jacket and shoes compared to his bare chest and bare feet.

  He crouched on the other side of me. “The lower your stance, the less likely your opponent is to knock you over.”

  I nodded and crouched down. I never should have asked him about Olivia. I never should have talked to her in the first place. She was trouble. I did not need trouble. I had a hard enough time not breaking into the kitchen and baking strudel in the middle of the night. Chocolate strudel to feed my beautiful chocolate man.

  He lunged forward suddenly and I found myself on my back staring up at him, his hair a curtain around his face, around mine, blocking out the rest of the world. I closed my eyes and half hoped that he’d kiss me, but instead, I found myself being dragged upright, his hand firm around mine.

  “Not bad,” he lied with a warm smile.

  I caught myself wondering what he tasted like and managed to edge away from him. He wasn’t mine and I did not want to taste him. He was not the only liar, even if I only lied to myself. “Yeah, maybe you can give me pointers another time. I’ve really got to get to class. You’re sure you don’t mind me seeing Olivia, even though there’s nothing there?”