Finally he had Aaron back. He’d been given the gift of a second chance. He would not foolishly piss it away because he missed someone he never should have been with in the first place. He had to move on. He had to go on with his life without Steve and with Aaron.
Aaron Mayburn may have left his life for two years, but he was back now. Finally he was back. Like a fierce storm that was stronger than the forces of nature, he had come back to Matt.
Now that he had, Matt made a promise to himself that nothing and no one would interfere with their future together. Not even the past.
Chapter Nine
Aaron took Matt’s coffee cup and gave him a kiss before he went back to the office to retrieve his briefcase. The first couple of days home had been somewhat overwhelming at first, so he was thankful that Matt had taken a couple of days off from work to spend with him.
It had been nice once he got over his initial wave of awkwardness. Even though the house looked the same, he still felt like a bit of a stranger stepping into it after so much time had passed. Matt had eased his worry in more ways than one, reminding him that this was his home, even if he felt like an outsider coming in for the first time.
They did everything they could to get reacquainted with one another. They had talked, watched movies, made love, and done all of the things normal couples would do. Still, Aaron kept feeling this distance from Matt. It wasn’t an obvious one, quite the opposite in fact. It was one that he sensed Matt was trying to keep hidden from him. That feeling was one that caused a nervous pit to form inside his gut, taking hold of every insecurity that he had ever had and feeding off of it like a parasite.
Matt walked back into the room with his briefcase in hand. “All right, babe. Now, remember…I can be home in less than thirty minutes if you need me. Work will understand, so don’t hesitate if you have any problems. Okay?”
Aaron smiled. “Would you stop worrying already? I’ll be fine. I’m not disabled, I’m just not as strong as I once was. I’ll get it back.”
“I know you will.”
“Maybe later I’ll take a dip in the pool. Water exercise is supposed to be a great way to work the muscles.”
Matt shook his head. “I’d rather that you didn’t. You’re all alone. What if you get a muscle cramp or something?”
“Would you stop already? I’ll be fine. You need to stop worrying so much. I’m not as weak as you think I am,” Aaron answered.
“No, you need to stop. I lost you for two years because of an accident. The doctors said you are a miracle. They have no rational explanation as to why you woke up,” Matt reminded him. “So, please…do my stress and anxiety levels a favor and don’t tempt fate. Okay? Please? For me?”
Aaron let out a sigh and reluctantly agreed. “All right, but sooner or later you’re going to have to let me do things on my own.”
“I let you make me coffee this morning.”
“Oh wow. Look at you being all generous. Tell me, how did I do? Was my filtered water the best you’ve ever tasted?”
Matt smirked. “As a matter of fact it was, smart-ass. Now give me a kiss. I need to get going.”
Aaron leaned in and planed a big smooch on him. He was so happy that they were back together. Not that he really remembered being apart. But, being anywhere else than with Matt was not a reality he cared to entertain.
Matt pulled away and Aaron noticed that same glint in his eye that he’d seen so many times in the past week. There was something there, something lurking just beneath the surface.
“What?” Aaron asked.
“I’m sorry?” Matt responded with confusion.
“What is it…when you look at me like that? It feels like…I don’t know. Like there’s something you want to say. Like you’re keeping something from me.”
Matt didn’t say anything. He just gave Aaron a disappointed frown. He’d given it more than once in the past couple of days whenever Aaron questioned him, always claiming it was nothing, but he knew that wasn’t the case. There was something. It was driving him crazy knowing that Matt was keeping a secret from him.
“Don’t do that.” Aaron said. “I know there’s something. Whether you don’t think you can tell me, or you don’t want to, I don’t know. But, there is something there.”
Matt shook his head. “Babe, I’ve told you…there’s nothing. The only thing I feel is happiness. Maybe I’m still in shock. I don’t know. But, I promise you…I’ve never been happier than I was when I heard you woke up. I’m so glad to have you back. Stop overanalyzing everything and just relax. Okay? Please?”
“All right. Have a good day at work.”
“Hey.” Matt pulled him in for a kiss and then added, “Now, how about telling me you love me?”
“You know that I do.”
“That doesn’t mean I ever grow tired of hearing it.”
Aaron smiled. “Okay, fine. You big baby. I love you.”
“Good.” Matt smacked his ass. “Because it just so happens that I love you, too. Now come on and walk me out.”
Aaron followed behind and waved good-bye as Matt drove down the street into the distance. He knew Matt told him not to worry, but his intuition told him there was something more. He just couldn’t let go of it. He could see it in his eyes. Not all of the time, or every moment, but sometimes, it would be there, some void that was looking back at him like a piece of Matt wasn’t with him.
He closed the door and walked back to the kitchen. He took his time rinsing the dishes and wiping down the counters. He had a nine-hour day ahead of him filled with nothing to do.
He considered watching television, but he and Matt had done so much of that in the past days he needed a break from it. After a good night’s rest he wasn’t tired enough for a nap, so he walked the hallway looking for ideas of how he could spend his day.
After passing the office for the second time, he considered wasting an hour on the computer. He never thought he’d look forward to playing a game of solitaire, but it was better than staring at the walls all day long.
He booted up their desktop computer, surprised to see that it was still the same one they bought together almost three years ago. Once the games loaded, he played his first of many games. If he’d forgotten how mind numbingly boring the lonely card game could be before, he was quickly being reminded of it.
After the seventh game and third time of winning, he exited the program and leaned back in their leather office chair. The sunlight slipped passed the thin openings of their blinds and cast odd shapes on the far wall.
Aaron stared at them for a while, thinking about nothing and everything all at the same time. No matter what Matt told him, he couldn’t get past this gnawing feeling that everything was not as perfect with their reunion as it would seem.
He stood to get up and find something else to do with his time when something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. The red, odd-shaped piece of paper was barely visible from where it lay behind the trashcan.
Aaron walked over and reached behind to pick it up. The pink-and-red greeting card decorated with hearts all over it was also shaped into one. He stared at it for a moment as he tried to make sense of the muffin on the front cover, with the greeting “Happy Valentine’s Day, Stud Muffin.”
That knot that had taken up residence in his stomach was now unraveling like an octopus suffering convulsions. They were only into the first week of March and this certainly didn’t look like any valentine that he and Matt had exchanged with one another.
His pulse started to race and he felt the unwelcome streak of jealousy creep into his bones. He tried to calm down, silently reminding himself that the doctors told him that there might be things that he won’t remember.
“Just relax, Aaron. It’s probably an old card from the two of you.” He spoke aloud, trying to convince himself of something he didn’t quite believe.
He opened the card and read the inscription.
Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.
I co
uldn’t resist with this card. I thought it was very fitting since you are my sexy little stud muffin! Can’t wait to see you tonight so I can get a taste of just how sweet you are!
Steve
XOXO
Aaron dropped the card on the floor and felt ice race through his veins. His eyes welled up with tears and silently they fell down the sides of his face. Pain tore through his heart and he fought for air, which seemed to stop flowing in and out of his lungs.
For several minutes he stood there, standing frozen as he looked down at the card which broke his quasi happiness and shattered it into a million pieces.
He slowly moved, needing to get his bearings and redirect his energy from the shock. He needed to think about what he’d just found.
His eyes went to the calendar on the wall and the today’s date. It was the sixth of March. That meant that less than a month ago Matt had been with another man. Someone named Steve who had the audacity to not only call him baby, but to imply he was going to get a taste of him as well.
Aaron paced their home office, wearing a path in the plush beige carpeting as he fought between feelings of jealousy, anger, and betrayal.
This was what Matt had been keeping from him. That distance he’d seen in Matt’s eyes, the times that he seemed to be somewhere else. It was because of this man. This…Steve character who had taken his happy reunion and squashed it like a damn bug.
Who was he? Where did they meet? When did they break up? Or did they at all? Were they still seeing one another?
Questions swarmed into his mind faster than bees attacking a family picnic. He couldn’t think straight and what was worse, he had no idea how he could find any of the answers he needed.
He considered calling Matt and demanding answers, but as quickly as the idea entered his mind, he dismissed it. For days he’d been pushing for Matt to tell him what it was he’d been keeping from him. And for days Matt had lied to him, telling him there was not a thing to be told.
Lies. All lies.
Aaron was beginning to feel lightheaded and his legs felt weak. He needed to calm down. He never had a problem with high blood pressure in the past, but he could tell when his was reaching levels that were too high.
He sat back down in the chair and stared at the monitor as he searched for ideas on where he could find out more about whoever this Steve guy was. That was when it hit him. Surely they must have exchanged e-mails with one another. Matt was a notorious e-mailer and rarely texted no matter how much Aaron had tried to get him into it.
He pulled the keyboard tray out from underneath the desk and clicked on the e-mail shortcut icon. “Okay, Matt. I knew your password two years ago. Let’s see if you’ve changed it.”
Aaron typed in the password and waited while the blue circle appeared on the screen. Mixed emotions of both relief and fear flooded him when he saw the message pop up on the screen that the password had been confirmed.
Aaron ignored the spam solicitation e-mails he saw in Matt’s inbox and went straight for his sent e-mail folder. He clicked on it and scrolled down past the few e-mails between coworkers until he came across the first one he saw with the name Steve Pierce.
His eyes nearly jumped out of his head when he saw how recent it had been. The date of February 29 all but jumped off the screen and hit him in the face. That was only seven days ago. Just seven days had passed since they communicated via e-mail. It was also the same day that Aaron had woken up from his coma.
What else had Matt been keeping from him, he wondered. He knew he shouldn’t have, but he opened it. His gut told him he wouldn’t like what he saw, but he did it anyway.
He should have listened, because that first e-mail only heightened his curiosity until he found himself knee deep an hour later into reading e-mail after e-mail, trying to comprehend every sweet endearment they offered one another as they made plans for dinner, and even…the night.
Aaron felt sick. Worse than sick, he felt the most hurtful form of betrayal. He’d begged Matt for the truth. Why couldn’t he have just given it to him? Didn’t he deserve at least that?
He picked up the phone, his fingers primed to dial Matt’s office phone when he heard a pinging sound come from the computer. Aaron turned back to the monitor and saw that an instant message notice popped up on the screen, alerting Matt that he had a new message from none other than Steve.
Aaron clicked on the message which read, I can’t believe you’re online. I figured you’d be at work.
He read the words, but didn’t respond. He needed to talk to Matt. It was wrong to go into his e-mail, but he didn’t feel like he would get the truth any other way. Now that he knew it, at least some of it, he had to try and force Matt to tell him everything.
Are you still there? Steve asked before continuing with his message. I know I shouldn’t be contacting you like this. At least I don’t think that I should. I know you never said that. I just can’t stop thinking about you. I miss you so much, baby. I would give anything to see you just one more time. When I heard you tell me you loved me, too, it made me so happy. I just can’t believe that we can’t find a way to make this work. Can’t we try? Or at least talk about it?
Aaron looked at the words on the screen, blinking his eyes free of tears, trying to will his sadness away like some sort of a bad dream.
Matt loved this man. Or so the message said. Aaron knew then that nothing he said to Matt would change that reality. He didn’t think any talk in the world would cause him to admit such a secret to Aaron. If he was going to get to the truth, and hear all of it, he knew there was only one way to get it.
With trembling fingers, Aaron typed a reply on the screen. You’re right. We do need to talk. Can you come over to my place? Today?
Steve answered, Yes, baby. Of course. Oh, you have no idea how happy this makes me. I’ll be there within the hour. Thank you, baby. Thank you for answering me. I’ll see you soon. XOXO.
Aaron watched the green light next to Steve’s name turn to grey, indicating he’d signed off. The room stared to spin and Aaron felt his knot of nerves begin to churn in his stomach. He shot up from the chair and raced for the bathroom. Making it just in the nick of time, he lifted the toilet and vomited the last of his shock into the porcelain bowl.
It took him a few minutes before he was able to regain enough of his strength to stand up. He walked over to the sink and turned on the water. Then he splashed his face with cold water and stared at his reflection in the mirror.
He hoped that whoever Steve Pierce was would be prepared to answer some questions. Because he knew he wouldn’t be getting them from Matt. It was time he go straight to the source and find out exactly who this man was and what he meant to Aaron’s future with Matt.
Chapter Ten
Steve pulled in front of Matt’s house forty-five minutes after he’d spoken to him on instant messenger. For days he’d been heartsick and missing him. Finally being able to talk to him again, see him, and hold him, it was making his stomach do somersaults the entire drive over.
He stepped out of the car and took the sidewalk path two steps at a time, quickening his pace with every inch he got closer to seeing Matt again. He rang the bell and waited for the door to open. He was filled with such excitement that he almost hadn’t realized what was happening when he saw the door open and it wasn’t Matt who stood before him.
“Steve, I presume?” Aaron asked.
Steve stared at the man he’d seen in so many photos with Matt that he lost count. He hadn’t been prepared for this. He’d been expecting a reunion with Matt, not a cluster fuck of an uncomfortable situation with his comatose boyfriend, Aaron.
“Surprised to see me?” Aaron asked.
“I…umm…is Matt here?”
Aaron offered a sarcastic look of regret. “Oh, no. Sorry. He’s at work. I thought maybe you and I could get acquainted.”
“Why?” Steve asked, not caring for the daggers that the man was shooting in his direction.
Aaron opened the
door fully and stepped aside. “Come in, Mr. Pierce.”
Every instinct in Steve’s body told him to get in his car and leave. His legs began to move, but in the opposite direction he expected them to. He found himself stepping inside Matt’s house, the same house that he had apparently shared with this man for years. For the life of him he couldn’t figure out why though. The only thing that came to mind was that he was a glutton for punishment. It was the only rational explanation behind his morbid curiosity in finding out what this guy had to say.
“Would you like something to drink?” Aaron asked.
“No, thanks. Should I sit?”
“Please.” Aaron motioned toward the couch. “Wherever you feel comfortable.”
He sat down and waited while Aaron sat in the chair across the room. “So, what would you like to talk about?”
“Well now, that seems like a rather foolish question, don’t you think?”
Steve shrugged. “Not really. You’re the last person I expected to find here.”
“Oh, right.” Aaron nodded. “The instant message. Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve had Matt’s password for years so…well, you understand.”
“You mean that was you?”
Aaron held up his hands in mock surprise. “That’s right. The boyfriend back from the dead. Or, I guess in this case back from the coma. Aaron Mayburn, the one and only.”
Steve was getting a bad vibe from the guy sitting before him. His every word was laced with hatred and sarcasm, as if he wanted to rip him apart with his bare hands.
“Look, I don’t think this is a good idea. Maybe I should be going.” Steve started to get up when Aaron quickly halted him.
“Nonsense. You stay. I’d like to ask you a few questions about your relationship with Matt.”
“I don’t really think that’s—”
“My business? Oh, trust me. It is.” Aaron snapped before adding, “It’s also completely necessary.”
“Look, shouldn’t you be having this talk with Matt? I mean…I’m out of the picture now. What goes on between you two is none of my concern and quite frankly I don’t want to get in the middle of this anymore than I already am. It’s been hard enough on me.”
When He Woke (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting ManLove) Page 9