Alice-Miranda to the Rescue

by Jacqueline Harvey

  The atmosphere in the dining room was electric as everyone waited for the arrival of the headmistress. The girls had traipsed in a long line from the boarding house, with Miss Reedy and Mr Plumpton leading the charge and Mrs Howard bringing up the rear. Millie had complained that being marched around together felt like they were back in infants school.

  Miss Grimm strode in not long after they were all seated, with Caprice in tow. The woman headed straight for the podium and switched on the microphone. ‘Good evening, girls and staff. I’m sure that you are all aware of the events that unfolded in the stables this afternoon. We have had a very lucky escape thanks to the quick thinking of three of our students and Mr Weatherly. Alice-Miranda and Millie, would you please stand up?’

  The girls rose to their feet, and the students stamped the floor and clapped loudly. Millie’s face flushed the same colour as her hair and Alice-Miranda gave a wave to acknowledge the applause.

  ‘Thank you, girls,’ Miss Grimm said, waiting for the students to calm down. ‘Now, we’ve been investigating the cause of the incident and it would appear that there may have been someone using the flat without our permission.’

  ‘You mean like a prowler?’ Sloane called out.

  Ophelia sighed. That was just the word she had been trying to avoid. ‘I mean that it is possible there has been someone on the school campus without our knowledge.’

  ‘This morning we thought it was just one of the stable cats but they were thumping about a lot,’ Alice-Miranda whispered with a frown.

  The girls looked at one another.

  ‘Caprice might be telling the truth for once in her life,’ Sloane said quietly.

  Millie rolled her eyes. ‘Remember it’s Caprice we’re talking about. I bet she found that puppy and was hiding him for herself and now she’s gone and told the police that there’s a prowler just so she doesn’t get into trouble.’

  ‘Surely she wouldn’t lie about something so serious,’ Alice-Miranda said.

  ‘She probably set the place on fire,’ Millie said, ‘and now she’s trying to cover it up.’

  The headmistress cleared her throat. ‘Constable Derby and his men will be searching for further evidence. Until then, I don’t want anyone wandering around on their own – to class, to after-school lessons, to the stables. Travel in groups of three, not two, and if you see anything suspicious at all I expect you to seek help from the nearest adult. Now, enjoy your dinner, girls, and please don’t worry. I have every confidence that Constable Derby will get to the bottom of this soon.’

  ‘That’s stupid,’ Sloane grouched. ‘It’s hard enough to get one girl to come with me to look after the worm farm, let alone two.’

  Ophelia Grimm stepped away from the microphone and walked down to join Mr Grump, who had just returned from a day in the city.

  ‘It’s a load of rubbish,’ Millie grumbled.

  ‘But if she’d found the puppy and taken the time to hide him and look after him, why did she leave him there?’ Sloane said. ‘He could have died.’

  ‘Maybe he ran away and she couldn’t find him,’ Alice-Miranda said. ‘Lying to the police will get her into a lot more trouble than if it was just an accident.’

  ‘And I wouldn’t want to be Caprice when Constable Derby finds out what really happened,’ Millie said, standing up. ‘She might get expelled or, even better, go to juvenile detention.’ The girl’s green eyes lit up at the thought.

  ‘Millie, you don’t mean that,’ Alice-Miranda chided. Though, she had to admit there was something awry about the whole affair. The girl’s mind raced. She had to find out the truth before Caprice dug herself in any deeper.

  Vera Bird lifted the discarded newspaper and fished around for the telephone. She dialled the number and waited for the operator to connect.

  ‘Hello, I’d like one of those kitchen wizards with all the attachments and that exercise thingamajig – the one you just have to stand on and it vibrates the pounds away. Oh, and while I’m at it, I’d like that set of saucepans with the bonus steamer,’ she said, and reeled off the digits of her credit card. ‘Yes, that’s it for now. When will they arrive? Goody! Yes, it’s a post-office box.’

  Vera hung up the phone and pushed herself out of the armchair, her spectacles swinging wildly on the chain around her neck. Tall pillars of boxes arranged according to their contents, which included everything from dolly tea sets to microwave ovens, televisions, a treadmill and just about any other household item you could imagine, lined the room. There was barely enough space for a walkway but there was an order to it all. The fact that she couldn’t recall the last time she’d set foot in the dining room, let alone glimpsed the table, was beside the point.

  The woman walked through the maze and into the kitchen, where bundles of cutlery and piles of plates towered on every surface. There were at least sixteen boxes of brand-new saucepans in the corner, and on the stovetop, a single battered pot held the remnants of last night’s soup.

  A stack of recipe books teetered ominously on the bench while cake tins of all shapes and sizes spilled from another box on the floor. Although the house was overflowing, and Vera could barely move, it was remarkably clean. She spent countless hours wiping down the surfaces and used her cordless swivel-headed vacuum to keep the walkways clear.

  Her bedroom was similarly crammed with goods, and the bathroom was almost impossible to enter these days, filled with everything from flat-pack bookshelves to cast-iron coat racks, boxes and boxes of face creams, soaps, toothpaste and enough toilet rolls to supply the entire village of Winchesterfield for at least a year or two.

  Vera picked up an envelope that was sitting inside the gleaming new toaster on the bench and slid her long nail under the flap, easing it open. She slipped on her spectacles and squinted at the amount on the bottom of the page.

  ‘That can’t be right,’ she said to herself. ‘I don’t remember spending that much last month.’ She ran her finger down the list and mentally ticked off the things she’d picked up from the post office. ‘Hmph. Well, perhaps I did.’ At least she didn’t have to worry about money these days. Her investments were doing very well.

  Vera walked to the corner of the room and squeezed her tiny frame between a stack of Kennel and Kibble magazines and a barbecue, retrieving a chipped cookie jar in the shape of Mickey Mouse. She unscrewed the lid and pulled out a bundle of notes. Vera peeled off the amount she needed and returned the rest to its rightful place.

  Tomorrow she would drive to the village and pay the credit card bill, then she’d pick up the new hair curlers and finally be able to try that deluxe gold-leaf curling serum she’d bought a couple of weeks back. Or had it been a couple of years? Vera had always been a collector. It was an addiction of sorts. It used to be about winning but that was long gone. Now it was shopping.

  As she turned to leave, something on top of the kitchen cupboard caught her eye. She located the little stepladder that was often carted through the house with her and wheeled it over. She climbed up and reached forward onto the tips of her toes. Her fingers latched onto the ribbon and pulled, dropping the box to the floor. She gingerly climbed back down again, waving away the plume of dust, and took the box into the sitting room, where she untied the ribbon and lifted the lid.

  ‘Oh my heavens,’ she said as she pulled out photograph after photograph. ‘Look at you. My beautiful, beautiful boys.’ A sharp pain clawed at her chest. She sat down in the armchair and leaned forward. It was then that she saw his face, beaming at the world. ‘Why? Why did you have to take it all away?’ she whispered.

  The sitting room at Grimthorpe House was unusually crowded for a weeknight. Some girls had brought their homework with them while others were playing cards or reading. Mrs Howard walked out of the kitchenette with a cup of tea in her hand. Although the girls had made a great show of their bravado, it was clear that the possibility of an unknown person on the school grounds had rattled them and, truth be told, Mrs Howard would feel a lot better too once th
e culprit was caught. She sat down beside Mimi Theopolis, who was writing a book review at the dining table.

  A stocky brunette girl called Anna looked up from the couch. ‘Excuse me, Mrs Howard, would you like me to check that all the windows and doors are locked?’

  ‘Thank you, dear, but Charlie’s already been down and done that. There’s no need for you to worry,’ the old woman reassured the child.

  ‘Oh, I wasn’t worried,’ the girl said, smiling awkwardly.

  ‘You shouldn’t be,’ Millie quipped, ‘because I doubt there is a prowler at all.’

  Mrs Howard frowned. ‘I think we’ll leave Constable Derby to decide on that. In the meantime we will look after each other, won’t we, Millie?’

  The girl bit her lip and nodded begrudgingly. Without absolute proof, there was no point saying anything else. She’d just be in Howie’s bad books.

  ‘Do you want a hot chocolate?’ Alice-Miranda asked her friend.

  Millie nodded and the pair walked across to the kitchenette.

  Mrs Howard glanced around the room and counted the children in her head. Everyone was there except for Caprice, which seemed odd given that she was the one who had encountered the intruder. Perhaps Millie’s accusations were true but, goodness, if that were the case, the girl was going to be in terrible trouble for bothering the police about nothing. Thankfully, despite having bumped her head and fainted, Caprice had received a clean bill of health from the paramedics. All the same, the housemistress made a note to check on her if she didn’t appear shortly.

  ‘Do you think we’ll get to play with the dogs when the show is on?’ Anna asked.

  ‘I don’t know, but maybe one of the jobs might include walking them,’ Mrs Howard said. ‘That would be fun, don’t you think?’

  The girl nodded. ‘We have a dog called Brutus but he’s nothing like a brute at all. I love taking him for walks.’

  The girls began to speculate about what responsibilities they might have at the show. Mrs Howard was glad that the event was taking their minds off other things when suddenly the telephone rang, sparking a wave of squeals. The housemistress almost jumped out of her seat too. ‘Could someone answer that, please?’ she said, taking a moment to recover.

  Alice-Miranda dived around the corner to the little office and picked up the handset. ‘Good evening, Grimthorpe House, this is Alice-Miranda speaking,’ the child said, walking back to the kitchenette. There was a short pause. ‘Oh, hello Mrs Parker, how are you? And Mr Parker? I was hoping to pop by on the weekend, if I may?’

  ‘Who is it?’ Mrs Howard called from the other room.

  ‘Nosey Parker,’ Millie called back.

  Alice-Miranda barely got her hand over the mouthpiece in time. She widened her eyes at Millie, who giggled and shrugged.

  ‘Would you like to speak with Mrs Howard?’ Alice-Miranda asked.

  The housemistress was walking towards the child and shaking her hands like windscreen wipers on high speed.

  ‘She’s right here,’ Alice-Miranda said.

  The old woman’s shoulders slumped and she reluctantly took the telephone.

  ‘I don’t think Howie wanted to talk to her,’ Millie said, heaping several spoonfuls of cocoa into two mugs.

  Alice-Miranda grinned. ‘You know Mrs Parker. She’d only call back later.’

  ‘Hello Myrtle,’ Mrs Howard breathed.

  The girls in the sitting room giggled as they heard Mrs Parker’s shrill voice blasting through the receiver.

  ‘Excuse me, Myrtle,’ Mrs Howard blustered, raising her voice. ‘We’ve had a near catastrophe here this afternoon and, no, I did not get your message about the emergency meeting, so you can jolly well calm down.’ Mrs Howard stormed into her office and closed the door behind her.

  Millie picked up the two steaming mugs and passed one to her friend. ‘What do you think all that was about?’

  ‘Mrs Howard must have missed something important,’ Alice-Miranda replied. She and Millie wove a path through the girls who were sitting on the floor, making their way to two empty beanbags in the corner of the room.

  Sloane was there, resting on her elbows and reading a book. She looked up as the girls approached. ‘It’s nice having everyone here together for a change,’ she said, wriggling over to make room for their legs.

  Millie nodded. ‘It feels like the weekend.’

  ‘I suppose we have Caprice to thank for that,’ Sloane said.

  ‘She’s not getting any thanks from me,’ Millie grumbled. ‘I thought Miss Grimm might have let me off gardening duties after what happened, but she didn’t say anything at dinner.’

  ‘She probably wasn’t even thinking about that tonight,’ Alice-Miranda said. ‘Where is Caprice, anyway?’

  Sloane put aside her book. ‘In bed. She said she was exhausted but I’m pretty sure she was crying when I left to come down here. I asked her what was wrong and she just snapped at me like always.’

  ‘Maybe I should go to see her,’ Alice-Miranda said. ‘Even if there wasn’t a prowler, maybe she feels guilty about the fire and the puppy.’

  ‘Let her! That puppy could have died and, now that I think about it, we could have too,’ Millie said, taking a sip of her drink.

  Alice-Miranda thought for a moment and then stood up. ‘I’ll be back soon.’

  Alice-Miranda knocked gently on the door and waited a few moments before pushing it open. ‘Caprice, are you all right?’ Alice-Miranda whispered. ‘I thought you might like to talk to someone about what happened this afternoon.’

  The girl was lying on her bed and rolled over to face the wall. ‘Go away,’ she ordered, her voice muffled beneath the covers.

  Alice-Miranda closed the door behind her and sat down on the edge of Sloane’s bed. She looked around the immaculate space, which these days resembled a page from a catalogue. If nothing else, Sloane had certainly learned a lot about housekeeping from her room mate. ‘But I’m worried about you, and the other girls are too,’ she said.

  ‘Sure they are,’ Caprice huffed.

  Alice-Miranda decided to try a different tack. ‘I’m so glad the puppy is okay. It would have been horrible if anything had happened to him.’

  A small sob came from the other side of the room.

  Alice-Miranda walked over and placed her hand on Caprice’s shoulder. She could feel the girl’s body shuddering. ‘Was there really someone up there?’ Alice-Miranda asked. There was a long silence. ‘Please talk to me.’

  Caprice’s body tensed. ‘I don’t want to! Just leave me alone.’

  ‘You have to tell the truth, Caprice,’ Alice-Miranda said. ‘If you lie to the police you can get into serious trouble.’

  The girl suddenly threw off the covers and sat up. ‘And wouldn’t that just suit all of you? Millie is probably rubbing her hands together at the thought.’

  ‘That’s not true,’ Alice-Miranda said firmly. ‘But you know everyone would like you more if you didn’t pick on her.’

  Caprice looked away. ‘I don’t pick on her.’

  ‘Well, why did you set her up to take the blame for the paint bombs?’ Alice-Miranda said.

  ‘You don’t know that.’

  Alice-Miranda raised an eyebrow. ‘I haven’t said anything to Miss Grimm, but there seemed to be a lot of curly caramel hairs on your wet uniform this morning. I’m sure you didn’t start the fire on purpose, Caprice, but you really should own up.’

  Caprice’s jaw flapped open like a stunned carp. For once in her life she didn’t know what to say.

  ‘All the girls are terrified there’s a prowler on the school grounds and we won’t have any freedom while Miss Grimm thinks someone is lurking about,’ Alice-Miranda said. ‘It will make our preparations for the dog show awfully tricky.’

  Caprice drew up her knees and hugged them to her chest. ‘It was an accident,’ the girl said softly. ‘The puppy must have gone too close to the heater and the towels snagged on the coils. I was just trying to warm him up.’


  Alice-Miranda’s eyes widened. She never imagined Caprice would actually confess. ‘But why did you leave him there?’ she asked.

  ‘He ran away and hid and I couldn’t find him and then the smoke was getting thicker and I thought I was going to die.’ Tears began to stream down the girl’s face.

  Alice-Miranda put her arm around Caprice’s shoulders. ‘You have to tell Miss Grimm the truth.’

  ‘But she’s going to be so angry,’ Caprice blubbered. ‘And what if she calls my parents?’

  ‘Miss Grimm will be mad for a while but, believe me, she’ll be happy that we don’t have to be on the alert for an intruder,’ Alice-Miranda assured her. ‘Where did you get the puppy?’

  Caprice blinked her big blue eyes and snatched a tissue from the bedside table. She wiped away the tears. ‘I found him in the garden when I was on the way back from my singing lesson,’ she explained. ‘I knew Miss Grimm would have called the dog catcher, so I thought about where I could hide him and the stable flat seemed the best place.’

  ‘Someone would have found him sooner or later,’ Alice-Miranda said, smiling at the girl. ‘He would have got bigger and noisier and I don’t know how you were planning to feed him.’

  Caprice shrugged. ‘I don’t know either. It was a stupid idea.’ She swallowed hard and looked Alice-Miranda in the eye. ‘Are you going to tell Mrs Howard?’

  The girl shook her head.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because you’re going to tell her yourself.’

  ‘I don’t know if I can,’ Caprice said, her eyes awash with new tears.

  Alice-Miranda patted the girl’s hand. ‘You’ll feel better once you get it off your chest.’

  Caprice sniffed. ‘Will you come with me?’ she asked.

  Alice-Miranda smiled and nodded. She was pleased the girl wasn’t concocting yet another lie to cover her tracks.

  Caprice swivelled her feet to the ground and stood up. She pulled on her dressing-gown and found her slippers at the end of the bed.