The Secret Love of a Gentleman

by Jane Lark

  “Indeed, sir, a little more than half an hour ago.”

  “Thank you. There’s no need for an announcement.” Rob walked on past him. He heard many voices. He could not pick Caro’s out.

  What if her feelings had changed?

  His heart beat more violently when he walked into the room.

  Mary had said in her letters that Caro had been doing more. She’d joined their party when they entertained and had begun visiting with Mary, as well as visiting two local women alone. She had friends.

  If her feelings were changed…

  If they were changed then he would always remember the time they’d spent together in the summer, and be grateful that Caro had been his first. But in his experience absence had made his heart grow fonder. He longed to see her. As he walked into the room, his gaze ignored everybody else and looked for her.

  She was wearing mauve and her blonde hair was pinned up high, although a swirl had been left to hang to her nape and then curled across one shoulder. Her presence pierced his chest, as though a sword had run him through. She was even more beautiful and more delicate in appearance than he remembered.

  “Robbie,” his aunt Penny exclaimed. She was the first to notice him. “Oh, how good to see you. You do not normally come.”

  No, he rarely called. He had his own rooms, and coming to London had been about escaping his family not visiting them daily. He spent his days with his friends, if he had no other pursuit.

  “Aunt Penny.” He bowed, to say hello.

  “How are you?” Rob’s uncle Richard joined them. “Have you found your chosen occupation?”

  Rob shook his head. It was questions like that which made him choose to avoid these afternoons of social chatter. He was still keeping what he wished to do with his life to himself.

  ~

  “Robbie.”

  Caro looked across the room the moment Penny said his name, and she’d been speaking, but then she could not think what to say. She looked to Mary for help as the image of Rob standing there, tall and athletic, gripped at her heart.

  Her mind threw all sorts of images at her, memories from the summer.

  “Excuse me,” Mary said rising. “I wish to greet, Rob.”

  Caro rose too, automatically—pulled towards him—then she realised she’d said nothing and it might look odd, but she could not sit again. “Excuse me.”

  She followed Mary across the room.

  Rob was standing with his aunt and uncle.

  He looked at Mary first as she walked before Caro, but then he glanced at Caro, and smiled for her. His eyes said so much more than a smile. They said he’d not forgotten her at all and that if he could he would say he loved her.

  After a heartbeat’s length he looked away.

  “Oh, Rob, I am pleased to see you.” Mary hugged him. “How are you? It feels like an age since you stayed with us. George will be over the moon, and you will not recognise Iris, she’s grown so much, but I took them up to the nursery.”

  He pressed a kiss on Mary’s cheek, saying something Caro could not hear. Then when he pulled away his eyes turned to Caro again. It looked as though he soaked her up as she absorbed him too. It had been so long.

  “Caro.”

  She stepped forward, longing to hug him and kiss his lips. Instead she lifted her hand. He gripped it and bowed quite low as he pressed his lips against the back of her fingers. The kiss was extremely gentle, and his hold seemed to treasure her. His feelings were unchanged, she knew it.

  “I cannot believe you made it here,” he said, as his head lifted, his hand clinging to hers. “Yet I’m glad to see you have.” He looked at Mary. “She is impressive, isn’t she?”

  “Very,” Mary said looking at her. “Andrew and I are very proud of you, Caro.”

  Rob squeezed Caro’s hand gently, then let go.

  Love welled up within her. There was no doubt left, she did love him, she could not feel as she did if it was not love, and he still cared for her. As in the summer, she would not think of future, only now.

  “I could do with a cup of tea, Caro, would you pour me one?” It was a ploy to separate them from the others as the tea urn stood on a table against the far wall. “And perhaps you would take me up to the nursery afterwards so I might see George, Mary”

  “Or, better still, I will go and fetch him down,” Mary answered, “He will not want to miss you. I’ll go now.”

  When Mary walked away, Rob caught hold of Caro’s elbow and gently turned her towards the urn. “Let us fetch that tea,” he said aloud, but then in a lower voice, as they walked across the room, he said, “How are you? I have missed you.”

  She glanced up at him, smiling. “I did not realise you had a devious streak, Rob Marlow. Perhaps you would take me to the nursery, indeed… you knew Mary would go and fetch him.”

  “I missed you too, Rob,” he mocked. “I am really glad you called today. I wanted to see you.”

  She looked up at him and her smile broadened. If anyone watched them they must see that there was something between them, but she did not think people were looking. “I have, I am, and I did, or rather, I do, yet I would guess you do not really want a cup of tea.”

  “Guilty,” he laughed gently. “But as we are now at the tea urn, you had better pour me one.”

  She laughed as she picked up a cup.

  “How are you anyway, truly? Mary told me that you have been going out more and that you’ve made friends.”

  “Yes, Isabella and Pauline. They are sisters. They live in a house together in Maidstone. But I think it is good for Drew too, because it gives Mary and Drew time alone.” She tipped milk into his cup.

  “And what does it give you?” he said when he took the cup from her hand.

  “Companionship, I am able to be myself with them.”

  He smiled at her. “Were you yourself with me in the summer.”

  “Towards the end, yes.”

  He looked into her eyes. “I still feel the same.”

  She swallowed as the words twisted inside her. “I feel the same too.”

  “May we go driving one afternoon, but not until next week. I would not want to draw attention to it. Until then, I’m afraid we will have to endure the crowd.”

  She nodded. “That would be nice. Yet I can cope with a crowd if you are within it.”

  He gave her a broad smile and she longed to reach her arms around his neck and hold him. But mostly to feel him hold her. “When we arrived, I felt as I did at the assembly. I wished you were here.”

  “But you coped regardless.” His gaze searched hers.

  “Yes, because I knew I would see you, and now I have.”

  “Do you think anyone would notice if I stole you away.”

  “Mary is coming back, to bring George to see you.”

  “We should have gone up,” he said quietly, but then he glanced beyond her, and whispered through the edge of his mouth. “Your brother is behind you and approaching. Drew, how are you?” Rob said the last louder.

  Drew’s arm settled on Caro’s shoulders, in gentle reassurance. “I did not think I would ever see Caro in town again.”

  Rob looked at her. “Well, she is here.”

  “And I think it is with thanks to you,” Drew acknowledged.

  “Uncle Bobbie!”

  Caro turned as Rob did, to see Mary set George down, and then the little scoundrel ran across the room.

  “Tyke!” Rob answered in mocking humour, bending down to pick George up. “Little rogue. Have you been good since I left?” Rob lifted him high.

  “Very good.”

  “And you have learned your “r”s”

  “Yes, but I think you will always be Uncle Bobbie.” Mary answered.

  “Robbie, I hope you will not rush off. It is so rare that you call. Will you stay to dinner?” Kate approached.

  Rob smiled. “Thank you, I would like to, yes.”

  Caro’s heart ached in response, she was to have his company for a few hours
, then.

  “I’m afraid that I’ve started a riot in the nursery, Kate.” Mary said. “All the children wish to come down because I have let George come.”

  “I will tell Finch to send word that they may. No one will mind. It is only that the toys are there for them to play with.”

  There was no further opportunity for private conversation after that, they were constantly surrounded by his family, and in the evening the number was too small for them to find any opportunities to slip away. It was only Mary and Drew and the Duke and Duchess, and then Caro and Rob.

  Yet she was able to sit beside Rob at dinner because the others were couples and after dinner they entertained each other in pairs at the pianoforte. Drew turned Mary’s pages with an amused smile as she played and sung, but then Caro and Rob sung a perfect harmony, sitting close together, while Caro played and Rob flipped the music sheets over. The Duke and Duchess outshone them, though, the Duke had a powerful, pitch-perfect voice.

  It was eleven when Rob stood. “I suppose I ought to leave.”

  Everyone stood. He kissed Mary’s cheek and then Kate’s, shook the Duke’s hand, then Drew’s, and then he turned to Caro. She wished he might kiss her cheek, but she was not family. Instead he took her hand and bowed slightly as he pressed a kiss on to the back of her fingers. “Goodnight, Caro.”

  “Goodnight Rob.”

  Their parting was impersonal, and yet she sensed that he felt as she did, that he would kiss her if he could.

  When he let her hand go he looked at Kate.

  “Where will you be tomorrow evening? Are you going out?”

  “To a parliamentary dinner,” John answered, “Business, I’m afraid,”

  “And we have been invited to dine with Lord Brooke,” Mary answered, “Caro is joining us.”

  “We thought it an opportunity for Caro to test her wings,” Drew added. “As she has known Brooke from childhood, Caro will find it easier there, with only Brooke and his new wife.”

  She did not particularly wish to attend, because she would be with couples, but Rob could hardly invite himself along.

  He smiled at her, with understanding, as though he wished that he could.

  “Well perhaps I will see you the night after.” Rob concluded, looking at Mary.

  “That is Pickford’s ball,” Kate answered. “If you cannot acquire yourself an invitation then call here in the afternoon and arrange to come with us.”

  “I’ll come with you. It’s easier than trying to wheedle one.” Rob answered, glancing at Kate.

  Warmth flowed into Caro’s blood. He would be with her when she attended her first society event, and she would be on his arm because they would be a six.

  “Well, I will be off, goodnight all.” He bowed, then nodded slightly at Caro, smiling before he turned away and walked from the room. Her heart left with him.

  Chapter 22

  Having to wait a day, a night and another day to see Caro, was like having an itch in his blood that could not be scratched. Yet he never normally called upon John, and it would look odd if he spent hour after hour here. So he’d waited until the night he’d agreed to accompany them. But as he stood outside, waiting for the door of Pembroke House to open, he hoped for an opportunity to speak with Caro alone; an open, seeping wound wept inside him for an opportunity to kiss her.

  His friends had all found it highly amusing that he’d chosen to attend an event with his family over sitting in the club with them. He did not normally attend balls and such, yet he’d used the firm excuse that Mary was his closest sister and he wished to spend some time with her. He had not even mentioned Caro’s name, to avoid their speculation.

  Finch opened the door and stepped back, the others were already gathered in the hall. Rob smiled at John and Kate as he stepped in.

  He’d heard from his mother today. His parents were coming to town in a fortnight, which would curb his ability to spend time with Caro further. They would notice if he acted oddly, and so he had two weeks to make the most of her presence here.

  “Did you bring your curricle?” John asked, looking out through the door before it was closed.

  “No, I walked, seeing as we were using your carriage. I thought it pointless bringing my horses.”

  “Are your rooms close to here, then?” Caro asked.

  He turned. Her appearance winded him with a fist in the stomach. She was clothed in amber satin, which hugged her generous bosom and then her narrow waist, before widening to flow over her hips and down to the floor like fluid. The dress spoke of her fragility, as the short sleeves and bodice displayed her slender arms and narrow shoulders, but also her beautiful cleavage, where the little amber cross nestled.

  He bowed to her. “They are not that close, a half-hour’s walk, but I do not mind it.”

  “Let us go, then, now Rob is here,” John stated.

  Rob stepped towards Caro. He did not wish Drew offering his arm first, he wished to escort Caro not Mary. It was why he was here.

  He lifted his arm. Caro’s hand settled upon it. “Thank you.”

  A rightness filled his soul.

  His fingers covered her slender and smaller hand as he looked down and mouthed, you look beautiful.

  She smiled, and mouthed back, so do you.

  This was real. Since the summer it had felt surreal, but, no, this was very real; she was here with him, in town, flesh and bone, and he felt the same.

  In the carriage, she sat between himself and Drew, and he sensed her anxiety building. He longed to take up her hand, but he did not, for fear that John might think it strange.

  When they arrived and the carriage drew to a halt, he leapt down first and lifted his hand to help Caro down. She waited in the carriage, though, and it was Mary who took his hand, then John climbed down and helped Kate before Drew came and helped Caro.

  Drew would have held on to her hand, and left Rob to take Mary in, but Caro intervened.

  “You walk with Mary. Rob will escort me.”

  Drew looked at them both, glancing from one to the other.

  Rob smiled. “I do not mind.”

  Drew nodded letting Caro’s fingers go, before turning to Mary.

  Rob lifted his arm and Caro laid her fingers on it.

  “You are nervous…” he whispered as the others walked ahead.

  “Terrified,” she answered.

  “You will cope.”

  “I will, with you here… Do you think Albert will be here?”

  He glanced at her as they climbed the stone steps to the open door. “He may be, I suppose. But if he is here, that is the final step. You will be wholly free of your fear once you’ve crossed it.”

  “Will I?” She looked as though she did not believe it.

  If she baulked tonight, there was nowhere else he might take her, not before the eyes of elite society. She was throwing herself into the deep this evening. It was brave of her, and he respected her courage a dozen times more.

  “If this is awful, you may remember that I am doing this for you.” she breathed up at him in a whisper.

  For him… To see him. It expressed how much she felt for him.

  “Thank you, but it will not be awful. Breathe slowly.” Their quiet conversation ceased as Drew and Mary stopped ahead of them and waited.

  Rob nodded at Drew, telling him that Caro was struggling.

  “Caro, if you need to go, tell us, we will leave, at any point.”

  She gave Drew a slight, nervous nod as her fingers gripped Rob’s arm over tightly.

  She stood stiffly when they waited in the receiving line.

  John and Kate were introduced to the Earl of Pickford, then Drew and Mary and then Rob stepped forward, leading Caro.

  A rush of pride and adoration raced through his blood when Caro lifted her hand for Pickford to take.

  “It has been a while, Caroline.”

  Rob was thrown by Pickford’s use of her name.

  “Indeed,” was all she answered, before she turned
to his wife. “Lady Pickford.” Caro curtsied.

  “Lady Framlington.”

  A frown furrowed Rob’s brow, as he greeted Pickford. Why would the man use Caro’s first name and his wife not? A bitter taste filled Rob’s mouth—jealousy.

  “How do you know him?” Rob questioned in the moment before they turned to the others.

  “Rob, I knew everyone. I was a marchioness. I have held and attended dozens of balls and numerous parliamentary dinners. He was, is, an ally of Albert’s. I had forgotten until I saw his face. Yet it means Albert will be here.”

  Rob’s heart pumped, hers must be thumping like a drum.

  He looked at Drew, who was watching them.

  “Will you dance the first with me?” she asked.

  Rob looked down at Caro, clearly her fear had forced her to forget caution. She should not ask, and yet friends danced, him dancing with her would be nothing out of the ordinary and no one beyond Drew and Mary had heard her ask.

  He nodded. “Yes, but it will not be this dance, I believe it has just begun. It will have to be the next.”

  “I will dance the set after that with you, Caro. Dancing will keep your mind off other things,” Drew offered.

  “You dance now, Caroline?” They all looked up to realise John had heard.

  Her lips pursed, yet she nodded. Pride became a firm spear lodged in Rob’s chest. It was a far better feeling than jealousy, and yet it seemed that love amplified every emotion.

  “Then may I have your hand for the next after Drew,” John stated.

  “Yes.”

  Rob saw his uncle Richard on the far side of the room, with his uncle Robert. John led their group across the room to join the others.

  Rob glanced around. He could not see the Marquis of Kilbride. But then Kilbride was shorter than the majority of Rob’s family, he might hide more easily amongst the crowd.

  “He is here,” Caro whispered, her fingers clawing into Rob’s arm. “I have just seen him walk into an anteroom.”

  “Well, then, at least he is not in the same room as us.”

  Her eyes were wide and dark.

  “Are you sure you wish to dance?”

  “I will not look like a coward before him.”