The Secret Love of a Gentleman

by Jane Lark

  “Drew!”

  Drew paced the landing outside Caro’s room, his hands fisted.

  “How is she?”

  “Unwell. Crying. Fearful. But the child’s heart is still beating.” Drew clasped Rob’s arm. “She has lost children.”

  “I know.”

  Drew breathed out a sigh. “She has lost five.”

  “I know.” Rob turned to the door, but Drew’s grip firmed on his arm.

  “I was never sure if she truly miscarried or if Kilbride beat her over something and the miscarriages were a consequence. Certainly after each miscarriage I saw her badly beaten. She fell today when Kilbride called here.”

  “I know…” Rob’s words were uttered on a hard sigh, as the weight of his responsibility caught a firmer hold of him. He’d wished to protect Caro and their child. He’d failed today.

  Rob knocked as Drew let him go.

  “Your mother and Mary are with her.”

  When the door opened, Mary stood there. She looked pale, but as soon as she saw Rob she caught hold of his sleeve and pulled him in, closing the door behind him. “Thank God you are here. Caro has been crying for hours and there has been so much blood. She is terrified.”

  He could hear Caro in the bedchamber next door wailing with her distress.

  “The doctor…”

  “He left, he had other calls, but he promised to return.”

  Rob walked ahead. Caro lay under the covers, on her side, curled up and he could see through the creases in the covers that she was gripping her stomach with both her hands. Her hair was a tangle of blonde about her face and when her eyes looked at him they were wide and wild. “Rob.”

  His name was said in a pained plea.

  She reached out a hand. “I am losing it.”

  He took her hand. He still wore his gloves. “You are not. Not yet. That is not what the doctor has said.”

  “Rob.” Tears flooded her eyes, then ran onto her cheeks.

  His mother touched his shoulder. “Let me take your outer things.”

  He let go of Caro’s hand and stripped off his gloves, then gave those and his hat to his mother. Mary helped him remove his coat, and then he removed his morning coat too and handed that to Mary. Then he gave his hand to Caro again. Hers was warm and clammy.

  “Here…” His mother pulled up a chair. “Sit, Robbie.”

  He did sit, although it was as if he fell, his fingers clinging to Caro’s. He lifted her fingers to his lips. “Have faith.”

  “I cannot,” she breathed. “I had thought I could survive the loss. I’d thought I would live with it and enjoy my child for the months I felt it within me, but then it held past four months and I hoped, I hoped and now I must lose it. I cannot bear it.”

  Rob looked back. “Mama, Mary, would you leave us alone, please?”

  His mother acquiesced. “Come along, Mary.” Mary looked back with concern before they left.

  Caro was in bed in her nightdress. By rights he ought not to be here at all, and not alone with her, and yet what did propriety matter when she was already with child and they were to be wed tomorrow.

  He kissed the back of her fingertips. She looked so pale.

  “I am losing our child,” she said more quietly, her fingers clinging to his as though she clung to a cliff.

  “Drew told me he was never sure if the loss of your children was due to natural causes or Kilbride. Did Kilbride beat you before you lost the children?”

  “Not before the first.”

  “But the second and third…” and the fourth and the fifth.

  “I do not remember. He forever found things that were wrong with what I did, and after I miscarried… But what does that matter, there is still blood now.” It was said on a wail of distress, and she let go of his hand, as if she no longer trusted him.

  “And there is still a heartbeat, Drew said.”

  He caught her hand back and kissed it again, then rose and leant and kissed her damp cheek. Her skin was salty with tears.

  He’d been laughing in White’s this morning when she’d been assaulted by Kilbride. He’d been choosing bloody horses when she’d been enduring this.

  He held their joined hands to her stomach, willing her to be calm at least. “The child is still within you, you will make it afraid, with all your concern. Relax and lay still, Caro, and for now we will trust in the words of the doctor, not your fear.”

  A tear slipped from one corner of her eye.

  He leant and kissed her lips, then bent and kissed the slight outward curve of her stomach. She did not really show. The child must still be tiny. Yet when he kissed her, something jerked within her.

  “Caro.” He straightened, elation twisting in his gut and in his voice. “Have you felt the child move?”

  “Yes.”

  “I felt it. Put down your legs, the child is not about to give up its life if it can kick or hit out. We have a fighter, Caro. But then I should never have doubted that; you are a fighter. It must be a girl, then, who takes after her mother.”

  More tears slipped from her eyes. They rolled into her hair.

  “Put down your legs, leave your hand on your stomach, shut your eyes, lie quietly and feel for our daughter’s movement. Perhaps she wishes to tell you she is well and you are not to worry.”

  “But there was so much blood.”

  “But there is still the heart beat and the feel of the child moving. Shut your eyes, lie quietly and let us see if she will kick again.”

  His hand spread across the cotton sheet over her stomach, and one of hers spread over his, while the other cradled the child below his. She shut her eyes as he watched their hands.

  “Breathe slowly,” he said quietly.

  She did. Then there was a sudden sharp thrust of movement beneath his hand.

  “She moved,” Caro whispered.

  “She did indeed, as I told you, she seems well.”

  Then came more tears. “I have been so afraid.”

  “When there was no need, not yet.”

  “But I have woken to blood before and then there has been pain and I have lost the child.”

  “Has there been pain this time?”

  “Only back ache.”

  “Well, then, another sign that this is not the same. The bleeding came hours ago, did it not?”

  “But it has continued.”

  “As much?”

  “Not as much.”

  “I am not a doctor, Caro, but I will hold by anything he says and if he is content the child’s heartbeat is strong. I am.”

  She nodded. Tears of relief now flooding her eyes.

  You will not have her, what I did to you is nothing compared to what I might do. Rob heard the words in Kilbride’s voice.

  He was still unsure who the threat had been for.

  He’d suffered at Kilbride’s hands once. She had suffered at Kilbride’s hands numerous times, and she was such a delicate woman. How had she survived?

  But she had not. She had lost five children.

  Ah, he really was a fool. Today Kilbride had intervened in Caro’s new safe life because Rob had brought her to town and spurred the man, publishing the news of their wedding in the paper. Rob should have acquired a special licence and taken her away to Yorkshire immediately. But he could not turn back time.

  Caro’s eyes were shut again, and she was breathing slowly as her hands stroked over her stomach, as if calming the child. Her hand occasionally ran over his too as tears slipped from the corner of her eyes.

  “Albert did hit me when I was with child, and I remember the second time I lost my child, he’d kicked me in the stomach.”

  Bile rose at the back of Rob’s throat. The night he’d been attacked he’d been kicked in the stomach and the chest, in the ribs and the head. How violent had Kilbride been to her? “He did not kick you now. Drew said you fell and banged your hip.”

  “Yes.”

  Her eyes opened. Dark amber looked at him about wide pupils. There were
memories in her eyes.

  Rob breathed out. He could not imagine how helpless and alone she must have felt, and then how embarrassed to rise up and face the world again, knowing that within her home she was treated with such cruelty. He’d been too embarrassed for her to know of his injuries. He’d hidden them from her. She had hidden years of injuries from the world.

  “This child will be loved and it will never know such things. Close your eyes again and try to sleep. Rest is the best thing for both of you. If you sleep, she will sleep.”

  She nodded.

  He sat beside her, his hand on her stomach underneath hers, as her breathing slowed, and the lines of worry on her face eased. But the child did not sleep. The more Caro relaxed, the more he felt their daughter kick, or hit. He was certain it was a girl.

  He sat for a while, until he was sure Caro slept, and he stayed for a little longer as the child stilled. He was afraid too. It was not normal to bleed in pregnancy. He’d grown up in a large family, where there was always a woman expecting a child. None of them had bled, as far as he was aware.

  Guilt bit at him, and a burning desire to fix everything for Caro, so she need never fear. He could not stop her bleeding. Yet there were other things that he could do.

  His fingers slipped from beneath hers, and his lips touched her temple, gently with a kiss. He did not wish to wake her. She needed to sleep.

  He left the room and hurried along the hall, his urgency pushing his leg to move faster. “Mama!” He called, his stride uneven.

  “Lady Marlow is in the drawing room.” Finch must have waited on the landing in case anything was needed.

  “Have someone send for the doctor again, Finch.” When Rob walked into the drawing room he saw his mother and father, Kate and John and Mary and Drew and all the children. “Mama, would you sit with Caro. She is sleeping and there is something I need to do. I have asked for the doctor to call again. I wish to speak with him. But then I have to go out.”

  “How is she?” Drew had risen when Rob came into the room.

  “Broken-hearted, but the child is kicking within her. I have persuaded her to believe it is safe for now.”

  Drew looked at his father. “What did I tell you, Papa? Rob has a knack for making her calm.”

  Rob looked at his father too. “Is Harry here?”

  “In bed. I believe he came back about two hours after sunrise.”

  Rob looked at Kate. “Which room?”

  “Second floor, the opposite wing to Caro’s, fourth door on the right.”

  “Thank you,” Rob turned away.

  “I will walk back with you.” He glanced back as his mother set down the tea she’d been drinking and stood.

  Caro held his heart gripped in her hand and his mind was left in the room with her. He could not think clearly.

  “You are good for her.” His mother stated, her fingers slipping about his arm, as they left the room.

  “She is good for me,”

  “I will not refute it, but comments have been made to your father and I about the difference in your age.”

  “And you of all people should pay little heed to it. It is of no matter to Caro or me.”

  “No. But you failed to tell us she is with child, and you are very young to become a father.”

  “Older than Mary when Mary became a mother, and older than you when you had John.”

  She sighed. “That is true.”

  “And Mama, now is not the time to chastise me over a child Caro is terrified of losing. It is too late for judgements.”

  “Of course, I am happy for you both, if this will make you happy.”

  “Mama, I did not propose because of the child. You know I proposed before my accident.”

  “I am not saying that. I do not even know what I am saying…” She sighed. “I am speaking nonsense. I am simply shocked and mourning the loss of another child of mine who is rushing into marriage. It has been a long day and I did not expect this of you.” She sighed again. “Yet, Caroline loves you, and you love her…”

  They reached the stairs and he turned and held her. “I will not be a loss, Mama. It will be a gain. You will have a new daughter and a grandchild if God is just.”

  “Yes. I am happy for you. I am just shocked.”

  He hugged her tightly. This was not about the child or his marriage. She was thinking of him, of the fact she’d nearly lost him a few months ago. He could understand her emotion more now that he had his own child who he feared for. A daughter.

  “I’m going to Yorkshire, Mama, not Timbuktu. You may visit us whenever you wish.”

  She nodded against his shoulder. “I am very proud of you. But you know that.”

  He’d probably not known a few weeks ago, but he did know now.

  His mother pulled away. “I told you, I should have known you would fall for a woman who was in need, and rescue her. You are like your father.”

  “I need to speak with Harry, Mama. If Caro wakes, tell her I will be back soon.”

  She nodded.

  Rob walked upstairs to his brother’s room and knocked on the door, emotion rattling around in his chest.

  There was no answer.

  He opened the door. The shutters were still closed and the room stank of stale liquor. Harry lay naked amidst the sheets, lying on his stomach with his arms above his head and his legs tangled in the sheets.

  He’d come home when the servants were already up and preparing breakfast, but he’d still come home drunk.

  “Harry!” Rob slapped Harry’s bare leg, then turned and went to the window. He opened the shutters and let the daylight in, then turned back to look at the bed again. Harry hadn’t moved. “Harry!”

  He groaned.

  “Come on, for once in your life I need you to do something for me. I have baled you out of a million scrapes. You owe me.”

  Harry rolled to his back, his forearm covering his eyes. “What are you doing in my room?”

  “Waking you up. I need your help.”

  “You never ask me for help.”

  “I know, but you are the only person I trust to stand with me in this and I need your canniness and also I need you to swear you will tell no one about what we are doing.”

  “What are we doing?” Harry had not risen. He still lay in the bed looking up at Rob.

  “I am only telling you when you swear.”

  “Very well, I swear.” He sat up and the sheet slipped to his hips.

  “We are calling on the Marquis of Kilbride.”

  “What?”

  Harry had probably never paid any attention to Caroline’s history. But then nor had Rob until the summer, and, damn it, if he was taking Harry with him, he ought to let Harry know what he was getting into.

  “Kilbride is Caroline’s former husband. He used to beat her and now she is carrying my child and terrified of losing it because her former husband called on her and threatened her. And… you must swear your silence.”

  “I have sworn it.”

  “I did not fall from my carriage. Kilbride had some thugs who were in his pay beat me.”

  Harry stood up, the sheet slipping off him entirely. “What?”

  “They left me in the street. I had the men that found me take me to Uncle Robert’s. If the girls told you Mama and Papa stayed there to look after Aunt Jane it was a lie. They were looking after me. I am not proud of what happened, I was in a mood, walking in the dark, and three of them attacked me with an iron bar.”

  Harry crossed to a chest of drawers and opened one to pick out a shirt. “I would not judge you for losing a fight with thugs. You could have told me.”

  “I am going downstairs. I wish to speak to the doctor who saw Caro. I will leave you to dress. As soon as you are clothed come down, and we will go, but I mean it, tell no one. I do not want the family involved. You know how they are, they would all interfere, and I want this to be quiet.”

  Chapter 45

  “I cannot say, Mr Marlow. She has not lost the f
luid about the child, which would imply the bleeding is from her womb, where the child is attached. Yet all that I know for certain is that the child is alive, and nothing about its heartbeat infers it is at risk, but tomorrow things might change, there can be no surety.”

  “We are to be married tomorrow.”

  The doctor stared at Rob with a pompous look. Of course it was normal to marry and then beget a child. But Rob was not ashamed, he did not care what the man thought, all he wished to know was what the risks were. Would his daughter live?

  “I have seen a dozen cases like this, no more. The pregnancy will need to be monitored and Lady Framlington ought to rest as much as possible. There is no evidence from the amount of blood how high the risk is to the child, and yet if she continues to bleed there is a risk to her. A risk that the internal wound might become infected or that she may lose too much blood.”

  It had not occurred to Rob that Caro might be at risk. “She has lost children before.”

  “Lady Caroline has told me.”

  “Her former husband kicked her stomach when she was with child.”

  “That may have affected her womb, if that is the case. Usually this issue simply arises when a woman has had a number of children—”

  “She has had five miscarriages.”

  The doctor gave him a look that said you are too young to manage this.

  Why might a woman have a child from sixteen upward, while a man must be thirty before he wed?

  “The cause may be the miscarriages or the violence. I can only treat the symptoms, not the cause.”

  Rob nodded. He would treat the cause. “Would you call again in the morning and listen for the heartbeat to reassure her, and then will you advise on how her brother might take her to the church.”

  The man stared at him, the words in his eyes, she should not go at all. Yet she was with child. Rob would not delay the date, the wedding needed to occur.

  “Thank you, you may go. Send your invoice to me here—”

  “The Duke will—”

  “I manage my own debts.”

  The doctor nodded, then turned away.

  Rob had a feeling the man was a social climber. He would not have come had it not been the Duchess who’d called for him. In general, he probably chose not to support the mere mortals of the world. It was probably a lance to his ego that he must be paid by a gentleman. It was men like that who Rob wished to make change through new laws. Why should the poor not be treated the same as the rich when it came to such things as medicine?