by Serena Yates
Magnus licked the soft lips open and let his tongue slide against Lance’s in a slow caress. Oh, this was good. Lance tasted like mints and man, his lips and tongue responding to Magnus’s advances with a gentleness that almost did him in. He’d never known touching and kissing could feel so good. It had never been like that with any of his previous lovers. This, this was like coming home.
After a while, Magnus made himself pull back. Lance opened his deep brown eyes, long lashes framing his unguarded gaze.
“I’m beginning to like mistletoe.” Lance gave him a last peck on his swollen lips and stepped back. “Come on, we’ve got a little boy to feed and afternoon plans to discuss.”
“Can you really stay?” Magnus didn’t want to let Lance go. “I feel really bad because Jakob keeps asking you and I know you have to work. You don’t have to say yes. I’d hate for you to get into trouble.”
“It’s okay.” There was the briefest hint of darkness in Lance’s eyes but it was gone before Magnus could be sure. “Katie’s been very supportive. She’s got Adam and our parents helping her as well.”
What about money though? Magnus wanted to ask but wasn’t sure it was his place. He had more than enough income from his books and the occasional well-paid speech or lecture he gave. He was willing to share, but what would Lance think about that?
* * *
Lance swallowed the fear about his financial situation. He’d already applied for a position as masseur with several of the area’s ski resorts. He’d thought his qualification as physical therapist was enough, but they’d all told him he’d need to re-qualify as a sports masseur.
Working in Katie’s store was his only choice for now. He’d need to start saving so he could take the necessary classes and exams. Katie insisted on paying him a fixed salary whether he was working or not, and he really needed the money. He’d had to borrow from her to be able to pay the deposit and first month’s rent for his studio apartment as it was. His food budget was beginning to look tight as well with all the extra stuff he’d made for Magnus and Jakob over the last few days.
He refused to let that interfere with doing what felt right. He really liked them and they needed someone to take care of them. He could always live on Ramen noodles the rest of the month.
Deciding to forget all about his problems, he focused on enjoying the meal with Jakob and Magnus. They loved the simple lamb and broccoli casserole he’d made. He’d brought pumpkin pie and whipped cream for dessert, and the happy smiles on both faces had been reward enough.
“Now we need to find a proper way of saying thank you, don’t we?” Magnus smiled at Jakob. “What do you suggest?”
“I think we should invite him to go ice skating with us.” Jakob grinned, pleased he’d found a new angle to getting what he wanted. “And take him out to dinner.”
“It’s a good thing you don’t have to go to school tomorrow.” Magnus chuckled. “When you start the new semester in January, stuff like this can’t happen during the week anymore. But for now I agree that we should spoil Lance as much as we can to show how grateful we are.”
Lance blushed and his cheeks felt warm all the way to the Grand Targhee Ice Rink. It even had skate rentals. Most people around here owned their skates. They quickly found the right sizes and were soon zipping along on the ice. It took a while for him to find his balance, but after a few rounds under Magnus’s careful guidance, it all started coming back. Lance hadn’t had so much fun in years.
“Where did Jakob learn to ice skate like that?” Lance was watching Jakob race along with a few other kids his age as if he’d been born to it. “You said he lived in Nairobi, Kenya with his parents, right? I can’t imagine they have many ice rinks there.”
“You’re right, they only have one.” Magnus laughed.
“What? I was joking.” Lance almost stumbled.
“No joke. It’s solar powered and has proven to be quite the attraction since it opened in 2005.” Magnus grinned. “But most of Jakob’s experience with ice and snow comes from spending a few weeks each year with me. He’s quite a good skier as well.”
“I’m impressed.” Lance looked at Magnus with new respect. “You’ve actually got more of a connection with Jakob than I realized.”
“Yeah, but it’s not close enough.” Magnus sighed and kept them circling around on the outer edge so they wouldn’t run into anyone. “I know that there’s something missing. Seeing you relate to him so easily made me realize that. What am I doing wrong?”
“You’re not doing anything wrong.” Lance stopped to make Magnus look at him. “Jakob respects and adores you. He’s dealing with his parents’ death as well as can be expected and that’s largely due to you. You obviously love him and will fight for him. He just needs to hear that from you. He’s still at an age where he needs to be held and cuddled. He’s very insecure right now because his entire world has changed. Anything you can do to help him over that insecurity will help make your bond even stronger.”
Chapter Six
The next morning Magnus was clearing away the last moving boxes when the doorbell rang. What now? Jakob wasn’t due back from his visit with Lance at Holiday World until this afternoon. When he opened the front door there was a sheriff standing on his porch.
“Good morning, sir.” The man had a smooth voice. “You’re Mr. Magnus Carstens?”
Magnus nodded, stunned. What was going on?
“My name is Douglas Scofield and I’m the local sheriff.” The man looked at him, waiting for a reaction.
“Good morning.” Magnus was too dumbfounded to know what to say. The dark-haired sheriff had a neat beard and was a couple of inches shorter than him. Several laugh lines around his eyes hinted at a sense of humor.
“I’d like to talk to you about your nephew Jakob.” The sheriff smiled. “Do you mind if I come in?”
“No. No, of course not.” Magnus stepped aside. As the sheriff walked past he saw a dark blue sedan parked on the curb. Brian and Nancy sat inside, grinning at him triumphantly.
“Did they send you here?” Magnus whirled around as he slammed the door closed. “Those people in the car out there, did they send you?”
“Please calm down Mr. Carstens.” The sheriff took off his coat and folded it over an arm. “I’d like to discuss this with you in a civilized manner. You need to calm down.”
“Right.” Magnus took a deep breath. “May I take your coat?”
The sheriff nodded, and Magnus put it away before motioning him inside the living room toward the couch. Accepting a glass of water, the sheriff took a few sips before putting the glass onto its coaster.
“I’ll get straight to the point, Mr. Carstens.” The sheriff scratched his beard as if looking for words. “Mr. and Mrs. Tabbart came into my office yesterday to lodge a complaint. They’re concerned that the arrangement Mr. Tabbart’s sister made for you to become Jakob’s guardian in the event of her death isn’t in Jakob’s best interest.”
“I can’t believe they did that.” Magnus sat back, air whooshing from his lungs as though someone had punched him in the gut. Shit, they couldn’t take Jakob away from him.
“Well, as Jakob’s other uncle, it is Mr. Tabbart’s right to ask questions.” The sheriff held up a hand when Magnus opened his mouth. “Please hear me out, Mr. Carstens.”
When Magnus nodded, literally biting his tongue to stay quiet, the sheriff continued.
“It’s my job to listen to your side of the story. We have no local social services in Mistletoe. I’m checking the situation so I can decide if their office in Jackson needs to be contacted. Do you understand?” The sheriff tilted his head, waiting for an answer.
Magnus nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He didn’t want to say anything that made it worse. God, these emotions were a bitch to deal with.
“Okay.” The sheriff sat up straight. “I’ve already made some preliminary inquiries into your background, just to confirm what they told me. They seem to have the facts right. We’ll go
through each of the three points they made. Is that okay?”
“Sure.” Magnus could see where this was going. The facts were not his friends in this case. He’d have to let it play out and see where it got him.
“First, they accused you of having no social skills. On top of which you’ve moved Jakob to a remote location where they think there won’t be enough opportunities for him to learn those skills. Secondly, you have no parenting experience. Thirdly, you’re single and cannot provide a woman’s influence.” The sheriff now held up three fingers of his right hand.
“That’s all they said?” Magnus wasn’t surprised they hadn’t brought up their love for Jakob; he just wanted to confirm that it seemed to remain irrelevant for them.
“Yes.” The sheriff nodded. “I’d like to hear your response, please.”
“Certainly.” Magnus made himself relax so he’d be able to think and speak clearly. “As for their first point, it’s true that my ‘social skills’ are unproven since they’re not a requirement in my job as a glaciologist. That doesn’t mean I don’t get along with people. Just ask the other participants of the Arizona Park Ranger training program.”
“I have. I’ve also spoken to a few colleagues from university and the picture, quite frankly, is mixed.” The sheriff folded one finger in half and grinned. “But not hopeless.”
Huh, that was a surprise. Encouraged, Magnus continued.
“As for Jakob being moved to a remote location: I think Mistletoe is large enough for him to have more than enough opportunities to interact with kids his own age.” Magnus smiled. Jakob had made contact on the ice rink yesterday without any problems. “They may not be of the exalted circles my sister-in-law seems to think he needs, but Mistletoe isn’t exactly a backwater.”
“Indeed.” The sheriff’s smile widened and the first finger was folded in completely.
“As for parenting credentials, I’d like to see them show what they’ve done in that area. They have no children of their own and have never, as far as I know, been involved in any child-related volunteering or activities. I’ve had Jakob with me a few weeks every year since he turned three. They’ve never spent a single day with him because my brother and sister-in-law couldn’t stand them.” Magnus watched the sheriff frown but fold away the second finger.
“And yes, I’m single and cannot miraculously produce a ‘mother’ for Jakob. Nor do I intend to get married just to have a woman in the house.” Magnus was sure the sheriff didn’t need to know the real reason. “But there are many single parents in this country who do a great job raising their children, so that alone can’t be a problem.”
When the third finger was folded away and the sheriff opened his mouth to speak, Magnus held up his hand.
“I’m not finished.” The strongest arguments, the ones Lance had taught him about, were yet to come. “They didn’t mention once what Jakob wants and needs. He’s gone through a major emotional trauma and is just beginning to recover. He’s said again and again that he wants to stay with me. That should count for something.”
The sheriff nodded and silently raised the first finger of his left hand.
“Above all, though, I love Jakob and will do everything I can to help him grow up and reach his potential. I may not be his biological father, but I already feel like a father to him. I will do anything in my power to defend him against attacks from loveless, selfish people like the Tabbarts.” Magnus was amazed. For the first time in his life he’d spoken from his heart and it was unbelievably freeing.
The sheriff raised the remaining fingers of his left hand and grinned.
“Looks like I need to go out there and tell Mr. and Mrs. Tabbart that I won’t be following up on their complaint. You’ve made good points and made them well.” The sheriff finished his water and rose. “However, I’ll tell you this, father to father: trying to raise children without a partner is asking for trouble.”
Magnus shook his head. He wasn’t interested in some woman moving in with them just to make them a “normal” family.
“I’m not telling you to get married tomorrow, but I am asking you to think about getting help. Whether it’s a nanny or a good support system of friends and neighbors doesn’t matter. But with you starting a new job and possibly being away more than you may think, and Jakob being so recently traumatized, it would be foolish, in my humble opinion, to attempt this on your own. Just think about it, please?” The sheriff held out a hand which Magnus shook, silenced by the advice he’d just been given.
When the sheriff was gone Magnus returned to the living room and sat on the couch, staring out into the snow-covered garden for a long time.
He already felt so close to Lance that he’d begun to wish the other man would be around all the time. He’d never felt a connection like this with anyone. On top of that Jakob adored Lance and the man had shown he returned those feelings. Lance was a great cook, had done a wonderful job with their Christmas decorations, and struck Magnus as a real nurturer.
But would he be interested in moving in with them? Would he still want his own job or would he accept Magnus paying him a salary?
Magnus sighed. There was only one way to find out.
Chapter Seven
Lance was bone-tired. The store had been a madhouse today. It was almost closing time, but he wasn’t looking forward to going home. Last night, after spending most of the day with Magnus and Jakob, he’d realized that his studio apartment wasn’t home and likely never would be. It may have proven that he was able to stand on his own two feet, but that wasn’t really what he wanted.
He sighed as he started sorting toys back into their spots in the play corner. What he wanted was a family to take care of. If he was honest with himself, he’d always wanted that. But everyone had expected him to go to college and earn a living. He hadn’t wanted to disappoint his family so he’d gone along. Now look where it had got him.
“Nobody should look that sad when handling toys.” The deep voice behind him made him jump but strong hands caught and held him, stopped him from falling.
“Magnus!” Lance leaned into the other man’s strength for a moment before he pulled himself together and turned around to look up into the silver-grey eyes that felt like home.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Magnus didn’t let go of his shoulders.
“It’s okay; I was just thinking.” Lance took a deep breath and rose, Magnus’s hands sliding down his arms until they reached his and squeezed briefly before letting go.
“Looked more like worrying to me.” Magnus frowned. “Is something wrong?”
Inside his head Lance was yelling “yes” but he couldn’t just come out and tell Magnus about his revelation—could he? So he shook his head as he looked down.
“Something is wrong, isn’t it?” Magnus stepped closer.
“Am I that transparent?” Lance tried to step back but the shelves were in his way.
“You are to me.” Magnus frowned. “I don’t know why, but I just get this sense of how you’re doing when I’m close to you. You’ve taught me to listen to my feelings where Jakob is concerned, and now I’m doing it with you as well. I can’t turn it off.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to burden you with my problems.” Lance swallowed.
“That’s not what this is about.” Magnus smiled. “I think there’s something going on that’s eating at you and I want to know what that is. I can’t resist a puzzle and I’m a problem solver, Lance. This isn’t going to go away by you ignoring it, okay?”
“I hear you.” Lance looked up. “But I really can’t talk to you about it. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, shit, this is about me or Jakob, isn’t it?” Magnus blinked slowly.
“How did you….”Lance bit his tongue.
“It was just a suspicion.” Magnus’s shoulders slumped. “I was afraid we’d crowded you. You have a life of your own and we’ve been monopolizing your time.”
“No!” The anguished sound was out of Lance’s
mouth before he could stop it.
“But we have.” Magnus looked back up with pain in his eyes.
“Yes.” Lance nodded, desperate to make it better. “But that’s not the problem.”
“It isn’t?” Magnus sighed. “I’m sorry Lance, I’m new at this stuff and I don’t get it. You’ll have to help me understand.”
“Okay.” Lance sighed. “Just not in the middle of the store?”
Magnus nodded.
“Tell me why you’re here?” Lance put the last toys away, trying to keep his hands busy so he wouldn’t touch Magnus. “And where’s Jakob?”
“Jakob’s up front helping Katie.” Magnus smiled. “I wanted to ask you if you want to have dinner with us. Jakob and I missed you today. We’d get take out so that you don’t have to cook. But now….”
“I’d love to spend the evening with you guys.” Lance was so relieved it hurt. He’d wished for this all day but he hadn’t felt like he could just invite himself.
“You would?” Magnus’s eyes lit up.
“Of course I would. I love spending time with both of you.” Lance’s world was all right for now; he’d deal with the rest later.
Later came sooner than he wanted. They’d had a great Chinese meal and had taught Jakob how to use chopsticks. Two rounds of Cluedo later Jakob was falling asleep in his chair and they’d put him to bed. The little boy had insisted on kissing both of them goodnight, and it had made Lance feel very warm inside to be accepted like this.
Now they were sitting on the soft rug in front of the lit fireplace, leaning back against the couch and sipping glögg, the Nordic version of mulled wine that Magnus had made.
“Can you tell me why you were so sad earlier?” Magnus looked up. “Please?”
“The problem isn’t that you’ve been taking me away from my own life.” Lance sighed, his stomach in knots. He wasn’t ready to tell Magnus that he had no life without them, but he had to tell him something. “The problem is that I want to spend more time with you and Jakob.”