Up in Smoke

by Tessa Bailey

  “You never know what’s happening behind closed doors.”

  Something in her voice tugged a chord in his chest. They needed to talk about her stepfather, even if it meant shattering the peace of the morning. Before last night, he’d known there would never be anyone else for him. Not as long as he lived. But the way she’d sacrificed the freedom she required in order to satisfy him, to prove she wouldn’t leave again…he’d simply never be the same. He’d woken up feeling different. Weighed down with purpose in a good way. She had given herself to him, and he wouldn’t take that responsibility lightly. Because he belonged to her, too. If something happened to her, they would both suffer. What he’d gone through when she’d gone missing, but multiplied by a thousand. He needed to prevent that outcome at all costs.

  “If you think any harder, smoke is going to come out of your ears,” she commented without looking at him. “How about I save you the trouble and just tell you what happened?”

  Relief and hope warred in his mind, but he was still wary. It wasn’t like Erin to volunteer information without being asked. “I’d like that.”

  As if she’d heard the doubt in his voice, she turned and scrutinized his face. Her shoulders slumped a little at what she saw there. “I didn’t kill him.”

  “I knew that, sweetheart. You didn’t have to tell me.”

  She sniffed. “It’s the why that matters, Connor. I didn’t kill him because of this.” She waved her hand between the two of them. “I can’t be who I used to be anymore. Neither can you.”

  He knew mostly what she was trying to say, but needed to hear her clarify. “Explain that.”

  “I never gave a shit before. I give a shit now.” She crossed her legs, making her boots jingle. “I wanted to do the right thing, but I didn’t even know what it was. You know how pathetic that felt? Standing there with a skillet in my hand, not understanding why I shouldn’t kill a man?”

  Fury infiltrated his veins at the thought of her needing a weapon for a goddamn minute. At the thought of her scared. Needing to defend herself. He beat back the emotions, knowing he needed to listen. She needed him to listen.

  “I need you to help me, Connor. Help me find the right way.” Her blue eyes implored him. “We’re better than him. What he did to me…we beat it last night. It’s gone for us. I know the second I’m not looking, you’ll go over there and make him pay. But I think I’m making him pay just by being happy, you know? You make me that way.”

  His throat constricted. “What you make me feel goes so far beyond happy, Erin.”

  Pleasure softened her eyes. “Good. So it’s settled.”

  “No.” He shook his head regretfully. “I’m not ready to agree to that yet.”

  Her expression fell. “Stubborn motherfucker.”

  “Yeah.” They sat quietly for a while. Across the street, the furniture movers unloaded a chaise longue that probably cost a year’s salary for most people. He knew they should talk more, but he needed to change the subject. If she kept flashing those blue eyes at him and saying shit that made his heart swell, he’d find himself agreeing to a promise he couldn’t keep.

  As much as he wanted to be strong for Erin, he didn’t have it in him to let the man walk around free knowing his sole focus was on locking Erin up and taking her money. Over his dead body would that be happening. So at the very least, he would be paying the man a visit. A visit where the man would answer for what he did to Erin as a girl. Maybe that brought him down to the fucker’s level, made him a villain. But the simple knowledge of knowing someone who had caused her untold agony was out there, walking around free and clear? It strangled him with helpless frustration. Erin thought it was pathetic that she didn’t know right from wrong? They weren’t so different. To him, wrong meant leaving her open to a threat. Nothing else.

  Erin didn’t give him a chance to speak. She picked up the cell phone he’d bought for her that morning and hit one of the programmed numbers. “Hey, hacker. What’s the racket?” He almost smiled over the unique greeting she gave Polly, but the resignation in her voice stopped it in its inception. “We’re outside May’s house, watching a truck vomit fancy furniture all over her lawn. The furniture store is called Lazzoni. Can you get into their system and see how she paid? Credit card, bank account…”

  Connor considered her a moment. The girl was so much smarter than she gave herself credit for. What kind of potential might she have reached if she’d been allowed to attend school? If she’d had the supportive family she deserved and gone to college?

  “Yeah. We know she doesn’t have it in the bank records you pulled. If she’s hiding money, maybe Lazzoni can lead us to the end of the rainbow.” Erin hung up the phone and placed it back in the cupholder. “I kind of like Polly. Don’t tell her, though.”

  “Why not?”

  “It would mess with our dynamic.”

  His lips twitched as he considered the scene across the street. Mrs. May was directing the furniture movers with one hand, holding a Chihuahua in the other. “Even if we find out Mrs. May is receiving money, it might not be traceable. I can’t imagine Stark has gotten this far without learning how to make cash invisible.”

  “True. Even if we trace the money to Stark, Derek needs May to testify. He’s the only one who can prove Stark took the bribes.” She sighed and dropped her head back onto the headrest. “Where would be the last place anyone would expect May to hide?”

  “With all the suspicion over Stark silencing May?” Connor scratched his chin. “The last place I’d expect to find him is living in Stark’s basement.”

  Erin turned impressed eyes on him. “You read my mind. Not easy to do with all the caution tape and potholes I’ve got scattered in there.”

  He bit his tongue against admonishing her. “How do we test our theory? And if you suggest climbing over the ten-foot-high gate surrounding his house and going in to investigate, let me rid you of that fantasy right now.”

  “I’ve gotten in and out of worse.”

  Connor clamped his jaw shut. It was either that or start shouting.

  Erin winked to let him know she had no such plans, but he didn’t relax entirely. She had that familiar spark of mischief in her eye, telling him there was more than caution tape unfurling in her head.

  “Erin—”

  She reached over and dug her nails into his thigh to quiet him. He followed her line of sight and found Mrs. May peering across the street, lifting her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. Erin moved at the same time he reached for her, settling on his lap. They couldn’t be caught watching the house, and obviously were of the same mind that kissing was the best way to detract from suspicious attention. Erin’s ass nestled over his already hardening dick as their mouths met in a long-overdue kiss.

  What had it been? An hour? Jesus, he’d missed the taste of her. He’d taken her to Starbucks on the way over and she’d picked a peppermint mocha at random, never having been there before. Now her mouth tasted like Christmas and he couldn’t get close enough. He pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tugging it down so he could revel in her texture with his tongue. Her head fell back on a groan that he echoed in his chest.

  She twisted her hips on his stiff lap, biting his bottom lip and tugging as she did it. Tease. She knew he couldn’t have her here. In retaliation, he reached under her skirt and gripped her pussy. Her mouth left his, breath panting in and out. Connor squeezed her flesh, a reminder of what she’d woken in him last night. A part of him that wouldn’t be denied anymore now that it had been released.

  “Play fair, sweetheart. I came in your mouth this morning, but I only consider that foreplay. I haven’t fucked you today as far as I’m concerned, and I’m not happy about it.” He rubbed his knuckles along the dampening material of her panties, glorying in her gasp. “If you wanted my cock inside you so bad, you should have stopped sucking when I asked, but you were a greedy girl. Weren’t you?”

  He felt a shudder pass through her. “Yes.”
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br />   “Don’t tease me, Erin.”

  “I won’t.”

  He released her and she slumped against his chest. Casting an eye across the street, he noticed Mrs. May had gone back inside, but the movers were sending covert glances in their direction. Breathing through a surge of possessiveness, he gently maneuvered Erin back into the passenger seat. He noted her stiff nipples pushing against the front of her crop top. Her denim skirt had ridden up, giving him a tempting view of her beautiful thighs pressing tightly together. He should find somewhere less public to ease her. God, he wanted to like hell. But she’d asked him to help her do the right thing regarding her stepfather, and he hadn’t been able to give it to her. That shamed him. So once again, he would atone. Would make today special for her. Because as early as tonight, he would act. He wanted her to have a memory to hold on to when he failed to give her what she wanted, but took what he needed instead.

  “Will you let me show you something?”

  “Anything,” she answered, without a single hesitation.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Erin marveled over the feel of her hand tucked inside Connor’s as he led her toward the skyscraper’s revolving-door entrance. He’d offered her his hand so casually, she’d felt silly doing anything other than taking it. She suspected he was acting that way on purpose. Aware that all these little steps they were accomplishing one by one were actually mammoth-sized leaps. The skin-on-skin contact still stung at first, but somewhere in the middle of the night last night, pleasure with a hint of pain had turned into a craving instead of something from which to escape.

  As long as Connor was the one holding her hand, she could trust it. Case in point, she had no idea where he was taking her, but she followed him willingly. Something she would have chewed her own arm off before doing a couple weeks ago. On the ride over, she’d been a little shaken up over what had happened between them outside the May residence. One minute she’d been lost in their kiss and the next, he’d been in command of every cell in her body. His hand between her legs, his deep, velvet voice that only came out to play when he dominated her. It should startle her how easily he could take over her emotions, her thoughts. But she wasn’t startled. He’d found a lock deep down inside her and turned a key only he held. Now energy flowed through her without the usual obstacles, reaching out to him for more. She could never be alarmed over something that felt this good, this right. And if it ever stopped feeling good and right, she also knew Connor wouldn’t rest until it did. That kind of trust was as unfamiliar to her as the responses he wrung from her body, but they were hers and they were perfect.

  When they had passed through the glass doors, Connor asked her to wait nearby while he purchased tickets. For what? She strolled over to a display on the wall and saw that they were in the Willis Tower, the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. She didn’t get a chance to read more before Connor placed a hand at the small of her back and led her to an elevator. They waited while a group of tourists boarded and Connor signaled that they would take the next one. She was grateful for that. While she’d taken a step toward conquering her fear of elevators, this was a tall-ass building and she didn’t know how high up they were going. They might be in the steel death trap for a while, and who knew what crazy her brain would decide to dig up.

  The second elevator rolled open, devoid of other passengers. She lifted her chin and stepped inside, Connor following behind her. As soon as the doors closed, she held her breath, waiting to see which button he would push.

  The 103rd floor.

  She gave a sharp exhale. “Guess the stairs are out.”

  Just as her vision started to swim, Connor walked her back toward the wall, creating an instantaneous clenching in her middle. Lower. He pressed his lips to her forehead and hummed quietly, which she found immensely comforting, although she didn’t know why. Slowly, he molded their bodies together against the wall, letting his lips travel down to nuzzle her ear. “Show me what a brave, sweet girl you are.”

  If his goal was to lower her heart rate, this method wasn’t working. Her pulse skyrocketed back to where it had been in the car as they’d kissed. Out of control. Furious. She reached out and held on to the distraction for dear life, knowing he would deliver more. Always more.

  He raised his left hand, running his fingers along the seam of her lips. When her lips parted on an inhale, he dipped his middle finger all the way inside and held it there. “Come on, sweetheart. Show me how you sucked me off this morning.”

  Erin’s eyelids fluttered, lust wrapping her up in its haze. She kept her gaze fastened on Connor as she drew hard on his finger, wishing it were the real thing. Remembering the way he’d spoken to her this morning, alternating between commanding her to stop and ordering her to never, ever fucking stop. It had felt different, with his hands on her. In her hair, on her chin, her shoulders. The most intimate act brought only higher.

  Now, Connor’s chest rose and fell heavily as he watched her mouth. He took the opposite hand and palmed her breast, making her gasp around his thick finger. Making her suck harder, lips sliding up and down as she silently begged him with her eyes to make contact with her nipple.

  “So eager to please, Erin. But it’s my turn.” The hand on her breast trailed down over her rib cage, stopping at the spot just below her belly button. Without warning, he used the heel of that hand to pin her back against the wall, then began to massage slow, tight circles inches above her needy core. Erin moaned around his finger, the sound bouncing off the steel interior of the elevator. “Does my cock hit you here when we fuck, sweetheart?”

  She nodded her head frantically, letting her teeth graze the inner flesh of his finger. A muscle in his jaw jumped in response. She’d never seen his green eyes sharper, more alert. Being preyed upon would have scared her once upon a time. Now she found herself yearning for it.

  Stalk me.

  He groaned low in his throat as her tongue got involved. “Good girl. Show me how well you suck me with that wet, hungry mouth.”

  The rhythmic massage he was performing against her lower belly was building something undeniable inside her. For what felt like the tenth time today, she squeezed her thighs together and rubbed, unsure if she wanted to lessen the ache or cater to it. If only he would go lower.

  Connor’s hand left her belly and started to descend. Erin whimpered a protest as he changed direction, though, smoothing his touch over her hip and splaying his big palm over her bottom. He tightened his fingers in a gesture of ownership, before removing his hand and propping it on the wall behind her. In degrees, he withdrew the finger from her mouth, spreading the moisture across his sculpted lips. His head dipped and he kissed her with such erotic intention that it felt as if his hands were still on her body, feeling their way down and molding her flesh. Her mind reeled under the assault, but he pulled back before she could wrap her legs around his waist and plead to be filled.

  His voice was gruff and slightly rueful. “When we got on this elevator, I was going to tell you I’m proud of you. In so many ways. I’m proud of you for what you’ve overcome. Proud of the trust you’ve given me. Proud to call myself your man. Jesus, I’m more than proud of that. I’m goddamn lucky.” He placed a kiss on her forehead. “I was going to say all those things, then I looked at you and it all got lost.”

  She felt like she’d just lain down in a giant feather bed. Utter happiness teamed with a sense of belonging. “You just said them,” was all she could manage before the elevator doors opened. Connor stepped back, slung an arm around her shoulder and tugged her from the space, looking a little smug when her legs didn’t work as well as they should. They walked onto an enormous open space. Out of habit, she immediately looked for the exit doors, even though that escape would be futile. One hundred and three floors had to be at least one thousand and fifty steps to the street, probably more. As if he sensed her relapse into fear, Connor pulled her protectively into his side.

  And then she saw it.

  Bui
lt into the wall, there was a giant glass window. But it wasn’t an ordinary window. It was a glass box, extending out at least four feet over downtown Chicago. She couldn’t catch her breath as she walked toward it, leaving Connor to follow. The skyline seemed to go on for a million miles before her, piercing blue sky blending together with it on the horizon. She’d never been up this high in her life. Never felt this imminent sensation of free-falling, but it blasted her with the ultimate impression of freedom. A high she’d been seeking without realizing it. This was the escape to end all escapes.

  Erin stepped into the glass box and looked down at her feet. No floor. Just air. She looked from side to side. Up. No walls. No ceiling. Tears blurred her vision as her arms seemed to float up all on their own, extending and rising like a bird’s wings. In the back of her mind, she knew it was an illusion, but it was a powerful one. Not a trap in sight. Free. She finally felt free. Like with a single leap, she could land on one of the fluffy white clouds passing by in the breeze and float forever.

  But she didn’t want that. Didn’t need to run ever again. That realization made the box seem even bigger, encompassing more of the city and its skyline through the simple fact that she could take it or leave it. She’d been wrong. The ultimate escape wasn’t in front of her. He was standing behind her, ready to catch her if she fell. Believing in her to do the same for him. She wanted to do that. She wanted to be this glass box for him. His freedom. The place he ran to when he needed comfort.

  She turned around to face Connor and the breath whooshed from her lungs. He was watching her with such tenderness in his eyes, such pride, she almost sank to her knees. No one had ever looked at her like that. Not a single person since the day she was born. But it didn’t matter anymore, because he’d just made up for every moment of lost time with one look.

  “I’m in love with you,” she said. “But please stop looking at me like that because I don’t know where else to put the feelings. All the cracks are filled in and there’s nowhere for them to go.”