Pew! Pew! - Sex, Guns, Spaceships... Oh My!

by M. D. Cooper

  “ORS Echols, it’s a billionfold different.”

  “It’s people in trouble. It’s the same.”

  “I agree with Kili,” Hook said, settling a hand on her shoulder.

  “Of course.” Chaquita nestled into his other side. “We’ll think of something.”

  Nikili moved Hook’s hand to Chaquita’s shoulder. “Let’s stay on target.”

  “The answer,” Lucy said, “is to blow it up before Spaceberg reaches Saturn. Blowing stuff up is always the answer.”

  Nikili gave her cheek a kiss. “She’s right.”

  “Not in this instance,” Dispatch said. “Instead of one massive problem, we create thousands of huge problems. It’s easier to deal with one than thousands.”

  “If we melt the ice, we shrink the problem.” Nikili snapped her fingers and paced around flight control.

  “A mini sun.” Hook grinned. “We create a new mini sun and toss it at Spaceberg.”

  “It took thirty years to manufacture one mini sun.” Dispatch huffed.

  “Instead of a full sun,” Lucy said, “well-placed reactions of what created the suns could diffuse Spaceberg enough.”

  “Let’s use what we already have,” Hook said. “What about maneuvering Z’ha’dum to take out Spaceberg?”

  “It won’t reach Saturn in time,” Dispatch said.

  Nikili frowned. “There’s Titan itself. It and Spaceberg are an explosive mix.”

  “Sacrifice an entire moon?”

  “You already gave up on Saturn and all of its moons.”

  “I didn’t expect you to.”

  Soft footfalls padded into flight control. “If I can figure out how to command the balls, they could eat Spaceberg,” Saverna said. “I know getting onto Spaceberg is a problem. But maybe a smaller one?”

  “You’re saying it’s possible to give Titan a chance?” Nikili arched her brows.

  “Probably not, but we can save the rest of Saturn’s colonies.”

  “How do we get on Spaceberg? It’s ahead of us and moving faster than our top speed.” Hook tugged at his chin.

  “I know a way.” Nikili swept a hand through her dark hair and inserted a smart tie. It pulled her hair into the bun she wore on every mission.

  “Your ritual for good fortune,” Hook said.

  Hook and his omens. As much as Nikili missed him, she wanted nothing to do with his Clan of Europa. “It’s not a ritual. It’s to get my hair out of my face while I work.”

  “You do it before every mission.”

  “And I pinch her ass,” Lucy said. “We’re wasting time.”

  “We’ll believe in our separate ways. As usual.” Hook frowned. “So what’s your idea for getting to Spaceberg?”

  “Slingshot around Z’ha’dum is how.” Nikili waved Saverna forward. Saverna’s gray eyes brightened. “What’s your idea?”

  “What I told you earlier. Get the aliens to work for us. The balls eat then they sweat.”

  “Sweaty moss balls?” Hook wrinkled his nose.

  “When they sweat, they duplicate themselves. Spawn a new moss ball an exact replica of the parent.”

  “How does that help?” Nikili asked.

  “The more balls, the faster they’ll eat Spaceberg.”

  “How do you know they’ll eat it? They’ve lived on it for who knows how long and they haven’t eaten it.”

  “They do seem to ignore ice and water. But that’s because they have other options. They’re dormant on Spaceberg. If we wake them up, they’ll have nothing else to feed on.”

  “Besides each other.”

  “It’s a ball eat ball galaxy,” Lucy said.

  Nikili slapped Lucy’s elbow. “This idea is worth a try.”

  “By slingshotting around Z’ha’dum?” Hook shook his head.

  “Nikili and E51 have done it eight times. Received a commendation every time.” Lucy lifted her chin.

  If only everyone in the Sol were as faithful as Lucy, Nikili may have put the space sick dude with a blow torch incident behind her by now. But here was Saverna with shining eyes to help. Chaquita had put everything aside to assist. Hook would come through when it counted. Nikili had been an idiot. Her hand rested over her locket.

  “Killing us defeats my goal.” Nikili tuned the others out, focusing on the calculations E51 fed Vulture. “My goal is to save everybody.” Her finger expanded an equation and she toyed with it. “However, it’s impossible to reach Titan in time to prevent its demise.” Hating to give up on it, she inhaled deeply.

  Saverna leaned into Nikili’s side, pointing at the next set of equations. “There. If we meet Spaceberg there, we should have enough time to save Saturn’s other moons, Mom.”

  Nikili squeezed Saverna’s shoulder. “Yeah, big picture.” Rhea and Enceladus were heavily populated. Then there were the worlds beyond Saturn. Earth was directly in Spaceberg’s path. “Never thought I’d save Earth,” she whispered.

  “What?” Lucy asked.

  “Nothing.” Nikili ran a hand over the back of her neck. “Vulture, will you assist with what you know about the salvager? I’ve only done the slingshot maneuver with a Huey.”

  “I’ll do whatever needs doing, ORS Echols. Reporting to E51,” Vulture answered.

  “Calculations take in the extra mass and bulk of the salvager,” E51 said. “Including its cargo. I now have Vulture’s idiosyncrasies. Recalculating.”

  Nikili flicked at icons representing commands. “Everybody buckle up,” she said. She glanced over her shoulder at Saverna. “Ready?”

  She took the seat behind Nikili and strapped in, checking the fastenings. “As soon as I can return to the lab, let me know. I’ve a lot of work to do.”

  Lucy and Hook jostled over who took the seat beside Nikili.

  “Ashida and I have a near-perfect track record,” Nikili said to Hook. “The signs point to not shaking things up.”

  He blew out a breath and settled between Saverna and Chaquita. Nikili didn’t care for him sitting there either. What did she want? A better relationship with her daughter. A more honest relationship with Hook. For her husband and daughter to be happy. For herself to find peace. Was there such a thing?

  Lucy placed a hand on her wrist. “Hit go, love.”

  Lucy was right. Now wasn’t the time for family drama. There was disaster to be met and lives to save. “I’d be lost without you.” Nikili squeezed Lucy’s fingers and commanded Vulture to accelerate. The salvager streaked toward Z’ha’dum. Speed continued to increase, pinning Nikili to the back of her chair, causing her heart to struggle and lungs to scream.

  Vulture compensated internal gravity. The hammering in Nikili’s chest let up and she could inhale without pain. The view panels on Vulture went opaque, blocking out the intensity of Z’ha’dum. Much smaller than the sun at the center of the solar system, it still had a blinding glare. The temperature inside the salvager rose by a few degrees. The salvager jerked, Z’ha’dum flinging it faster through the Sol. They were no longer under complete control of Vulture or Nikili’s skill.

  She swiped at a bead of perspiration gathering at her temple. The view panels shifted to translucent. The black roared past. The sun shone brighter. Saturn loomed ahead. Its stately rings regally stretched into the black, shining like gold. Titan, in front of it, glowed in orange. Space stations and spacecraft glinted among the rings and moons, shining beacons in the lonesome expanse of space.

  Nikili had only been to Saturn once before. If not for Spaceberg, she would have slowed down to enjoy the splendor of the Inner Sol. There were so many worlds; so much more to see than black. Nothing as big as Saturn graced the Outer Sol. She wouldn’t mind joining Saverna here. If it survived Spaceberg.

  She tapped the icon signaling ORS dispatch. “Order as many Hueys as you’ve got to gather up the remains of Titan in their photon nets. I’m sending you the coordinates as to where they’re to meet me.”

  “Roger.” Dispatch remained silent for longer than usual. “Godspeed, E51
. The Sol is in your hands.”

  “We’ll be okay. I have to go. If I don’t concentrate, we won’t make it onto Spaceberg alive.”

  “Talk to you soon?” Dispatch had never sounded so unsure.

  “Definitely.” Nikili signed off. She gulped. Pieces of ice soared at the salvager, pointing like spears, glinting like steel. She ducked the ship one way and veered the other, avoiding collisions.

  She soared past Spaceberg, its long plane barely glimmering in the sun. Most of it was covered in layers of dust and tholins. Or were the dark spots moss balls?

  Vulture swerved, headed to where Spaceberg was projected to be after it met up with Titan. The salvager slowed, waiting. The moment was nigh.

  Spaceberg’s shadow dimmed the orange haze of Titan. The shadow grew darker. Ice blocked the shadow; the length of it stretching far into the rings of Saturn. The tip pierced Titan’s thick layer of clouds. The moon shuddered.

  Nikili silenced communications. She didn’t want to hear the death throes of a world. She didn’t want to hear the cries of residents panicking on the nearby worlds. She could only help once Spaceberg had its way with Titan. It was too dangerous to land on the ice before the collision.

  Titan spun out of its orbit, crashing into a tanker. An explosion lit up its north pole. The moon crashed through the rings of Saturn, disrupting their perfect circles, and sank into the golden gases of Saturn. Saturn quaked.

  Spaceberg flew on. Flames engulfed its leading edge. It burned brightly, but not long enough. The lack of oxygen in space snuffed it out.

  “Goodness gracious,” Saverna said.

  Nikili gulped. “Great balls of fire.” She checked the readings taken by the AIs. “The fire didn’t help as much as we’d like.” She steered the salvager toward the dangerous hulk.

  Saverna leaned over her shoulder. “It did some. Something isn’t nothing.”

  Chapter 18

  With the help of E51, Nikili picked out the perfect landing spot near the back end. The salvager slowed until it gently set down on Spaceberg’s deadly surface. The ice creaked and moaned. Fissures and crevices fractured its plains. The leading tip had a range of mountains as sharp as spears, now charred from its encounter with Titan. A hush descended over flight control. Nikili stared out at a foe that had no conscience; one that had killed a moon while sustaining barely a scratch.

  Above hovered a tanker. Another joined it.

  Nikili hit the comm. channel. “Hello.”

  “We’re here to assist,” they said. “More are on the way. All with full tanks from Titan.”

  “Stay in orbit. Await my command.”

  “Aye, ORS Echols.”

  She smiled over her shoulder. “You can return to your lab,” she told Saverna. “It’s your show from here.”

  “I won’t let you down, Mom.” Saverna hightailed it into the corridor, her footfalls retreating rapidly to the lab inside the infirmary. A hatch hissed open and clicked shut.

  Nikili hit the release securing her to Vulture’s command system and stood. Hook prevented her from taking a step.

  “Is she ready for this?” he asked.

  “She knows more about the moss balls than anyone else.”

  “I don’t want my daughter to be known as a ball expert.”

  “Me either.” Nikili put an arm around him, steering him toward the lab. “We’ll call them mossies from now on.”

  “Mossies has a better ring to it.”

  Chaquita snuggled into his other side; Lucy latched onto Nikili. They couldn’t fit through the doorway as a foursome. Nikili let go and dropped back with Lucy.

  “Today is about letting go.” She hugged Lucy more tightly. “Letting go and moving on.”

  “No, it’s about coming together and moving on. The three of them make us stronger.” She sped up to catch Hook and Chaquita. They entered the infirmary.

  Saverna paced excitedly in front of Qeb and Revco. An isolation tank with a chunk of ice sat on a medical table. “The aliens wake up when they’re infused with an increased supply of xylomannan; the type of antifreeze in our spaceship hulls.” She picked up the tank and let it clatter onto the table. “This box is constructed from nanites. The same kind comprising our ships. The impact will rouse the creatures, and they’ll sense the xylomannan. Their leaves will absorb the antifreeze, and they’ll become active.”

  It took less than four minutes. The moss balls broke free of the ice and began chomping on the isolation tank. Hook grabbed Saverna by the collar, pulling her away. She batted his hand away.

  “Dad, I’m okay. The plastic flowers soothe them.”

  Three purple plastic pots with pink polka dots filled with clumps of plastic daisies surrounded the isolation tank.

  “It’s my job to protect you.” He lunged for her.

  She ducked out of his reach. “I don’t need protecting. Look, I get it. I fell apart when Mom checked out on us. But I’m not so fragile.” She shook a finger at Nikili. “You’re still in trouble with me. Don’t kid yourself.” She gulped down a breath. “But I’ve learned to stand on my own and be okay with being strong. Thanks to Chaquita. She helped me. A lot.”

  Chaquita bowed. “Glad to have been of service.”

  It rankled to know Chaquita had a big part in producing the independent young woman about to save the Sol. Yet Nikili didn’t want anything less for her daughter. She leaned over and hugged Chaquita. “Thank you.”

  “I’d be happy to give you the same help.”

  “Maybe.” Nikili let go and pulled herself together. “Let’s talk about it later.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Me too.”

  “What could go wrong?” Hook frowned.

  Saverna elbowed him. “Our family is larger than the three of us. It’s a good thing.” She switched on the plastic flowers. Music blared up and the flowers whirled in a strange dance.

  Daisy, Daisy,

  Give me your answer do!

  I’m half crazy,

  All for the love of you!

  The moss balls quieted. They became still. An icon flashed on the gel glass monitor at the head of the table.

  “They’re dormant again,” Saverna said.

  “For how long?” Hook inched closer to the tank.

  Saverna switched off the flowers. The balls of moss became coated in ice. “Until they’re bumped and detect xylomannan.” She banged the box on the table once more. The aliens stirred and began chomping on the tank. She powered on the singing flowers and subdued them.

  “How do we bang Spaceberg hard enough?” Hook asked.

  “Titan took care of the initial knock. It won’t take as much to revive the balls.”

  “Did Titan have xylomannan?” Nikili asked.

  “Some from our extraction equipment. We’ll need some to keep the balls active. We can sacrifice the hauler to the cause, can’t we?”

  “First, we’re calling them mossies, not balls.” Hook blanched. “I’ll owe the captain the full price of the hauler.”

  “I’d use the transport, but it’s out of commission. Too much damage. Death or money, Dad.”

  He held up a hand. “Okay. No contest.”

  “We also need to turn Vulture, E51, and the hauler into boom boxes. A quaint term for portable music in the 1990s, the same era in which the flowers were manufactured.” Saverna straightened her sweater. “Use a heavy bass tone to wake them up, and the song to put them back to sleep.”

  “Is it the song or the dancing flowers that appeals so much to the mossies?”

  “Unsure and no time to test for certainty.”

  “If we set up a perimeter of flowers,” Chaquita said, “they have motion sensors, so we can keep Vulture safe.”

  “I’ll get to work with the bots unloading the crates.” Hook bumped Saverna’s shoulder. “You’re an impressive young woman. A spitfire like your mother.”

  “The rest of us, including Qeb and Revco, will suit up and join you at the hatch,” Saverna said. “
We’ll split up in teams to set out the flowers at strategic points.”

  “Strategic?” He halted in the doorway.

  “To herd the mossies.”

  “Who’s going to pilot the hauler?”

  Nikili raised her hand. Saverna shook her head.

  “I am,” Vulture replied. “Harene, the hauler’s AI, agreed to a date.”

  Hook rolled his eyes. “Whatever. See the rest of you at the hatch.”

  Chapter 19

  In a tiny equipment room built for two, Nikili and Lucy shimmied into spare spacesuits on board Vulture. The others suited up in Hook’s quarters and the infirmary.

  “What do you think we’ll find out there?” Lucy asked.

  Nikili whirled and smacked her elbow on the wall. Wincing, she swore under her breath. “Daughter of a wind fart.” She sucked in a sharp breath. “Nothing we want to find.”

  Lucy grabbed Nikili’s arm and gave her elbow a kiss. “I think that’s an omen of good luck.”

  “Not you too.”

  “Don’t scoff. If the forces of the Sol want to help us, we should let them.”

  “There are no mysterious forces. Everything can be explained by science.”

  “Not everything is logical.” Her noise crinkled. “You, for instance. You are extremely not logical.” She brushed past Nikili into the corridor and waited by the hatch. “Cut Hook some slack.”

  “I can as long as I don’t cut a noodle.”

  “Please don’t. I don’t want this mission jinxed.”

  “We have no jinx, Lucy. Today really made me realize it. Space sick dude was one incident between a lot of successes.”

  “Huckamucka. It’s about time.”

  “I care for Hook deeply, but Chaquita is good for him and Saverna. She belongs with us.”

  “Us?”

  “You, me, Saverna, and Hook.”

  Leaning against the wall beside the hatch, Lucy’s smile waned. “Me too?”

  “Of course. Transfer to Rhea with me.”

  “Finally, you ask. I go wherever you go, love.”

  Her boots secure, Nikili screwed on her gloves. “More family is better, right?”