Spinning Through Time

by Barbara Baldwin

  He clearly saw a shape on the bed, and when he moved closer, discovered his niece curled up in Jaci’s arms. For a moment, he contented himself to gaze down at the two of them. In sleep, Jaci looked soft and delicate, much like the lady he knew her to be. Gone were the spark filled eyes and the proud defiance in her voice. He smiled as he thought to savor the peace, knowing full well it would last only as long as she got her own way.

  He had promised himself he’d wait until after the holidays to make his intentions known. It would not be fair to pursue Jaci until Lycinda had been set free from any contract, unintentional or not. Yet each time Jaci and he spoke; each day as her scent lingered in the upper hall when he came down for breakfast, he found it harder and harder to keep his resolution.

  He wanted to kiss her and he ached to hold her in an embrace all night long, but only after they had exhausted themselves making love. December couldn’t fly by fast enough. He didn’t know how long his aching body could resist the temptation her mere presence caused.

  He shifted his gaze to Amanda, happy and secure, embraced in loving arms. Whatever peccadilloes Jaci might claim, she appeared to be good for Amanda.

  A sigh of frustration escaped as he gently tugged off two pairs of slippers and covered the sleeping beauties with a quilt. As he quietly shut the door, he thought back to the first days that Jaci resided at Wildwood. At that time, he would have allowed her to stay if only for Amanda’s sake, for the child needed the gentler influence of a woman.

  Now, he had very specific purposes of his own for keeping her bound to Wildwood. Regardless of how he had initially fought it, he had fallen in love with her. He wondered how many rounds he and the unconventional Miss Eastman would have to go before they both gave in to the mysterious forces that drew them together.

  Chapter Nine

  Jaci walked downstairs after leaving Amanda with Molly for the afternoon. As much as she had come to love the child, the hours when the maid watched her were precious.

  “Is our little hellion down for a nap?” Nicholas spoke as he walked out of the study.

  Startled, she stopped on the bottom step. Though Nicholas worked at Wildwood, he stayed busy outside or in the arena, and she rarely saw him during the day. Lately, though, she had found herself trying to catch a glimpse of him out the window as he trained horses or spoke to a groom. Even with snow on the ground, the horses were trained outside whenever the wind-chill was bearable.

  “Hello. Are you there?” He teased as he smiled.

  Her heart melted a little more than it had the last time he smiled at her, which meant it was a puddle somewhere. Each day it became harder to remember she didn’t belong here. And every day found her falling a little more for the silver-eyed, horse breeder.

  “I’m sorry; my thoughts were elsewhere.” She returned his smile, hoping he would stay and visit with her. Regardless of their arguments about everything from education to women’s rights, she liked discussing things with him. Then she realized he was buttoning his coat. “Are you going somewhere?”

  “I’m off for a ride, actually, to scare up some wild birds for Delta. Would you care to join me? The weather’s tolerable, for December.”

  Because Amanda loved her pony, Flower, and always wanted to ride, Jaci had forced herself to ride more after her initial disaster. She had finally begun to like the activity, although she didn’t have much style. Now she hesitated.

  “You mean ride outside; away from the barn and arena?” She blushed when Nicholas laughed outright.

  “Yes, I am allowed off the grounds, and you are allowed out without your chaperone.”

  “Without my, oh, you mean Amanda.”

  Nicholas nodded. “Do you trust me to see you back in one piece?”

  The question sounded innocuous enough, but she heard the caress behind it. She glanced up. Eyes the color of hazy smoke, yet with a flicker of fire, met her gaze. Her stomach turned, her heart thumped, and she swore a little groan escaped.

  If he noticed, he was too much the gentleman to comment. Besides, maybe she was reading too much into his comment. The only way to find out, she reasoned with herself, was to take him up on his offer.

  “I’d be delighted to ride with you, but I do need warmer clothes.”

  He slapped his hand with his gloves, his smile widening. “Wonderful. I shall see to the horses while you change. I’ll collect you at the front steps.”

  * * *

  Their ride took them to the northern edge of his property where trees and shrubs created a dense forest and windbreak. The snow cover wasn’t deep and the horses had no trouble moving along the trail which ran parallel to the thicker part of the woods.

  Jaci had bundled up with extra wool stockings and her fur lined cloak, and now was glad she had. Even though the sun reflected brightly off the snow, the air was cold.

  “We’ll leave the horses here and walk,” Nicholas spoke as he dismounted and moved around to help her.

  As she dismounted, her foot slipped and she came crashing down at him, knocking them both against his horse. The horse stood steady and Nicholas grabbed her around the waist to balance them both.

  “Oops, I still have something to learn.” She clutched the lapels of his coat. His arms circled her and she felt suddenly very warm and secure, despite the cold December day.

  “Perhaps there was ice on the sole of your boot,” he whispered the excuse for her.

  When she glanced up, his gaze told her he didn’t care how she had ended up in his arms. Standing among acres of frozen white lace covering the trees, the horses blocking the wind, Jaci felt she belonged to another world. That thought brought a smile to her lips as he bent his head to kiss her.

  His breath was warm, quickly heating her chilly lips as he slanted his mouth across hers. She felt his hands tighten at her waist as he pulled her closer.

  “Oh...my,” she sighed when he released her from his kiss. His eyes were intense, burning into her own, branding her heart with his desire.

  His breathing was ragged and it took long seconds before he spoke. “Damn. I—”

  Jaci stopped his words with a mittened hand. “I don’t want to hear you apologize yet again for kissing me. If you regret it, why do you continue to do it every time we’re alone?”

  He didn’t release her, even as he denied her charges. “I don’t kiss you every time,” he hesitated, “just, almost every time. And it’s not entirely my fault. I can’t seem to help myself when I’m around you.”

  In all honesty, she couldn’t blame him for she was equally at fault. She dreamed about him at night; dark, exotic dreams full of marvelous sex and happily-ever-after. Now, she leaned up on tip-toes for him to kiss her again.

  Without hesitation, he granted her unspoken request, his kiss hard and hot, vibrant and deliciously wicked. His lips cajoled hers to open and their tongues dueled for possession. Yet as he pulled her against him, she felt he held something back.

  What would it take for him to completely lose control? Even as she secretly wished for that moment, she wondered if she would lose her soul to him if he should take her beyond the first steps of passion. For once, it seemed the right thing to do.

  “Nicholas,” she breathed his name in the frosty air, clinging to him as he kissed a path down her chin to her neck. She leaned back as he fumbled for the buttons of her cloak, aching with anticipation. He jerked at her jacket, gloved hands unable to work the fasteners.

  Before she could help, he released her and ripped off his gloves, flinging them to the snow. Seconds later, his warm hands slid around her stomach between her wool jacket and her blouse. Dissatisfying as it was, it would have to do, for his mouth captured hers again and desire consumed her thoughts.

  He grasped her mittened hands in his and raised them to the side of her head to rest against the saddle. It was to his credit that he had trained the horse well, for it shifted only slightly when he pushed her up against its side.

  She recalled the last time they’d kissed. F
or whatever reasons, his honor always got in the way of complete surrender; a surrender she desired more each day.

  She spoke, her voice husky with desire. “I want you. I think I’ve wanted you for a long time.” She leaned forward to kiss his chin. “I fully accept the consequences of my actions...all of them.”

  Nicholas surprised her with the harshness of his answer. Moaning out loud, he kissed her again, this time nipping her lip and sucking the very life’s breath out of her. His chest pushed against her breasts and his hips ground against her skirt. The warm clothes she had carefully donned were now a hindrance.

  Still holding her hands captive, he kissed a heated path down her throat. When his hot mouth covered her breast, she groaned from the sheer pleasure that shot through her. Even through the silk of her blouse and underthings, she felt his teeth graze her nipple. She tried to jerk her hands free but he refused to release her, pulling her hands even higher, which in turned thrust her breasts forward to his reach.

  “Dear heavens,” she gasped, wondering how they might possibly stay warm making love in the snow. It never occurred to her that they wouldn’t. In fact, she thought she would simply die if they didn’t. “Please, Nicholas.”

  “Sh, sh,” he whispered against her mouth, merriment twinkling in his eyes now, for he apparently found humor in her pleading.

  She didn’t care. When he kissed the corner of her lips, she swiveled her head to capture his mouth, leaning into his kiss and refusing to release him. A soul-baring hunger stripped her of any pretense. She wanted him. She craved him like an addict after drugs.

  “Dear God, woman, what have you done to me?” His ragged whisper touched her heart as his hot breath fanned her cheeks. He leaned his forehead against hers, squeezing tight on her hands which were still pinioned against the horse. She tried to kiss him again, but he tilted his head out of her reach. His eyes were closed and she couldn’t read his thoughts until he gave a sad shake of his head.

  “Damn you, Nicholas, don’t do this to me again.” Her threat was without venom, for she knew the struggle he fought. At the same time, she cried out for him to appease the passionate hunger he had created.

  “Would you have me come to you, stripped of my honor?” He released her hands and stepped back. When he brought his head up and met her gaze, she saw the torment their passion caused him.

  “I would have you any way I can.” She took a step towards him, but he put up a hand to still her. Lightly, he caressed her cheek, his hand still warm against her cold skin.

  “Sweet, sweet Jaci, how I adore you.”

  “Then, why?”

  “It is difficult to explain, for women don’t see the world the way men do. My honor is my bond — my mark for all of mankind to see and accept. To take you would take my honor, also.”

  Jaci fumed. “Well, if that’s not — what does that make me, practically begging you for it?” Tears blurred her vision and she swiped a hand angrily across her eyes. “Do you think me cheap and dishonorable for acting this way; for wanting you as I do?”

  He gathered her in his arms, tucking her under his chin and cradling her head in his large palm. “Sweet, merciful heavens, don’t ever think that. A man would have to be a fool to think ill of what you offer, or to think less of you for offering it. Every man alive dreams of a woman aching for his touch; crying out as he loves her.”

  She felt a shudder race through him and was sadly comforted by the thought that he ached as badly as she did. He continued to hold her, rocking in a gently soothing motion.

  “But what about you, Nicholas? You speak in general terms, but not of yourself.”

  She couldn’t have misread him. It was impossible for him not to want her as desperately as she needed him. Need. She had told herself all her life that she would never need anyone again; never depend on anyone for her happiness. Now here she stood, in the arms of a handsome, caring man, craving his touch and needing his affection. She felt him sigh, and wondered at his thoughts.

  “I won’t pretend not to care, sweetheart, but you must have patience. There are things to be resolved yet, before I am free to speak my mind.” He loosened his hold and tilted her chin up with one hand. A gentle kiss on the nose was offered with a weak smile.

  She started to protest when a gunshot echoed in the distance. She jumped, but Nicholas didn’t appear too concerned.

  “Must be old Henry, the gamekeeper.” He released her to pull his gun from the saddle sheath.

  She needed closure to their discussion, but apparently he didn’t. While she still ached for his touch, he conversed on an entirely different subject.

  “With the preparations Delta and Mrs. Jeffrey are making, we’ll need much more food than normal. Henry must be out hunting.”

  “If you have a gamekeeper, why are you hunting? And what preparations are you talking about?”

  “I enjoy the challenge; you know, man against the elements.” He grinned at her and she shook her head at yet another sign of the chauvinistic society in which she had been tossed.

  “What preparations?” she repeated.

  “The party. Have you and Amanda gotten Molly to sew you new dresses?”

  She had forgotten about the party. Besides, she didn’t want another dress. “You have been too generous already. I can’t possibly ever repay you. I won’t accept more.”

  “Nonsense.” He began to walk.

  She trotted to catch up with his longer strides. She felt unsettled, but Nicholas didn’t appear affected. She would simply have to wait until things calmed down after the holidays. If she had to hog-tie him, she would find out exactly what he felt for her.

  “If you don’t care for the blue, Molly can find another fabric to suit you.” He shrugged, sounding like a disappointed little boy.

  “I do like the velvet, but surely members of your staff don’t dress quite so elegantly,” she hesitated, then continued, “or even go to parties.”

  He frowned at her before answering. “We’re not in town and don’t stand on quite the formality. Besides, Amanda is family and where Amanda goes—”

  “—so goes her governess,” she finished the statement with a laugh.

  “Good, that’s settled.” At the same time he spoke, he raised his gun to a shoulder, sighted and fired. A pheasant fell to the ground not thirty yards from them. “Are you going to bird-dog for me?”

  “I thought that was Sir Lancelot’s job.”

  The corners of his mouth lifted. “Alas, he was not brave enough to venture out with me.”

  Still struggling with her emotions, Jaci took in his devastating smile and said, “It appears Sir Lancelot is alot smarter than I am.”

  * * *

  Jaci and Amanda spent the day helping Mrs. Jeffrey and the entire staff decorate the ballroom for the Wildwood Christmas party. Garlands of fresh cut greenery draped the doorways, mantels and windows, caught at the corners with bright red ribbon. A huge Christmas tree stood against the wall halfway between one end and the other. It had no lights like modern trees, but instead had fragile glass balls and tiny fabric bows tied to the branches.

  Glancing around the enormous room, Jaci wondered why she hadn’t ventured in here before now. Mrs. Jeffrey told her it wasn’t used much, since the family living quarters were, for the most part, on the west side of the house. The housekeeper went on to say when Nicholas’s parents were alive, the ballroom was constantly overflowing, as Mrs. Westbrooke loved to entertain and often had guests up for weekend house parties.

  She tried to imagine the house full of people. A large partition unfolded to separate the ballroom from the formal dining area on the north end. Now, the accordion type door was pushed back to allow guests to mingle along the dance floor, or take time to eat at the buffet table which had been set up in the spacious dining room.

  Amanda had informed her that ice sculptures were being carved in the ice house; horses, of course, and they would decorate the table. The dance was still several days off, but Mrs. Jeffrey was le
aving nothing to chance and had the maids and house staff hopping. Even Mr. Selkirk was seen polishing silver in the kitchen.

  “Aren’t you excited?” Amanda quizzed her as they turned their decorating efforts to the family parlor across the foyer from the ballroom.

  “Oh, yes.” She responded automatically for the hundredth time.

  “I peeked at your dress today. Molly almost has it done and it is divine.”

  She smiled. Amanda always picked adjectives that were larger than life — magnificent, marvelous, and now divine. Idly, she twisted a strand of hair. She had been letting it grow and it was far longer than she’d ever worn it, but she planned to curl it and wear it up for the dance. She wondered if Nicholas would like it. Actually, she wondered if Nicholas would like her.

  Her thoughts turned to the creation Molly had sewn to her specifications. Did she have the nerve to wear it? The dress draped off bare shoulders and down the back, leaving her back almost bare. After the conversation she and Nicholas had in the grove, she had decided seduction was the name of the game. Come hell or high water, she would make him lose control and do something.

  She brought her thoughts back to the present. As she lifted Amanda to hang the mistletoe over the doorway to the parlor. Amanda giggled as Jaci told her about the mistletoe tradition.

  That evening, she read to Amanda by the fire, waiting for Nicholas to return from town. When he spoke from the doorway, his voice startled her, the masculine timbre sending shivers down her spine. She drew a steadying breath as she stood and gazed at his handsome countenance.

  “Hello, ladies, and how was your day?” His arms were crossed over his chest, the black evening coat he wore stretched taut across his wide shoulders. Matching black trousers clung to his muscular thighs; one shiny boot kicked in front of the other in a casual pose.