Souls to Heal

by Tilly Wallace

  No. It proved he was weak, and that weakness had cost his mother her life. If he had been a man, or a wolf, he would have defended her and she would still be alive. “One night, my mother refused him, and he chased her out to the landing. The noise roused me from sleep, and even me watching from the doorway didn’t stop him. He bashed her head on the wall until she went limp, then he used her. When he had finished, she dropped to the floor. I will never forget the anguish in her eyes as she tried to crawl to me. Her hand reached for me but before our fingertips touched, Father kicked her down the stairs. The servants were told it was an accident and that she fell.”

  Alice swallowed, her eyes wide.

  Would she turn and run? Confession didn’t ease his soul, it troubled him further. His family were demons just like Hoth, men who took what they wanted without any care for those they abused. During the one visit Ewan made to his ancestral home as an adult, he had seen the bruises on his sister-in-law. Like father, like son. Why should he be any different?

  Her fingers curled into the linen of his shirt. “Why does that make you incapable of love?”

  “Because that is my blood, the poison that taints my soul. I possess the desire to hurt. The ability to beat the woman who loves me. It is a demon that calls to me, and I can never rid myself of it.” His hands clenched into fists, his right hand now able to fully contract and stretch.

  There was the horrid secret he kept well hidden. He relished taking the life of another. It thrilled him and set his blood on fire to see the life drain from an enemy’s eyes. That was why he kept his wolf on a tight leash, for if the true brute inside him ever broke free, nothing and no one would ever stop his blood lust.

  “I don’t believe you. You are more than that. I know what Ianthe has told me of the wolves, and above all else you protect, not destroy.” She laid her other hand on his arm and faced him as the heavens above opened and thunder crashed.

  Part of him, the small child who loved his mother, desperately wanted to believe her. Instead, he scoffed. “I was born a natural monster, then the army made me an Unnatural one. I am the worst of both worlds combined.”

  She leaned closer to him and despite the cold rain, warmth radiated from her. If she swayed just a fraction, her chest would press against his.

  He cradled her face in his palms. “You cannot stand close to me, Alice, because I would hurt you, and that would kill me.”

  Her hands ran up his arms to his shoulders. “Do you think me so feeble after all that I have endured, that I would ever let a man or Unnatural hurt me again? If you would have me, I will make you a vow, Ewan Shaw. If you ever raise a hand to me, I would deliver unto you an excruciating and prolonged death.”

  God, this woman made his chest swell. Could he even dare give credence to the things his wolf muttered—that she was his mate and this was truly love?

  “Would my death be by knife or witchcraft?” Something about her made him doubt she would deliver a swift death with a knife to his heart.

  “You have taught me well, and I would use all my skills. With a blade, my mage-blood, and knowledge of botany, I would craft your demise.” Her gaze was the lush green of a deep forest. One filled with the darkest kind of magic and wonder.

  She was either an ethereal witch sent to torment him or a gift sent by his mother. All he had to do was reach for her.

  Alice pressed herself tighter to him, so that even the rain couldn’t come between them. “What you fail to understand, husband, is that you may have sworn you will not love, but I have never made any such a vow.”

  “Alice,” he murmured. With one hand, he stroked a damp strand of hair away from her face. “Do not do this.”

  She smiled. “I am not a soldier, and you cannot command my affections, Captain. I offer you all that remains of my tattered heart. I love you truly and deeply, and you cannot stop me.”

  The ache constricted in his chest. “I cannot dare to love, Alice. I must deny what I and my wolf want, for it is the only way to ensure I never hurt a woman.”

  She tapped a finger against his forehead. “You’re not listening. You cannot chase me away. I am here and refuse to move from your side. I give you my love, and all I ask in return is for your company and your touch.”

  Her eyes flared a deeper green. Her arms slid around his neck and she looked up at him. Standing on tiptoe, she brushed her lips against his. A butterfly kiss. A soft, gentle thing, as though a newly-emerged insect tested its wings.

  She whispered against his mouth. “I want your skin sliding against mine, and for your tongue to taste my cries as you drive into my body. If you cannot give me your love, then I demand that you give me pleasure.”

  There was something he could give her. Pleasure. Lightning lit the clouds as though it would tear the sky apart, and he surrendered to the storm. He wrapped his arms tight around her and kissed her hard.

  23

  Alice

  * * *

  The storm broke overhead and drenched Alice to the skin, but she didn’t care. The taste of Ewan on her lips made her body tingle and vibrate as though she were the sky and lightning ran through her limbs.

  He broke away and rested his forehead against hers. “Promise me that if the time arrives, you will do it.”

  She would promise him the moon if it meant he would carry on kissing her, but she didn’t think that was what he meant. Her mind was dizzy with pleasure already as she tried to concentrate on his request.

  He pulled back further to meet her gaze, his hands moving from her hair to frame her face. “Promise me that if I ever raise a hand to you, you will kill me. I never want to become the vile creature that lurks inside me. Better to be put out of my misery than harm you.”

  Why could he not see that this was why they were meant to be together? They were beautiful together in all their brokenness. No other woman would promise to kill the man they loved. “I promise, I will end you before you ever become like your father or Hoth.”

  Satisfied, he kissed her again until her knees buckled and she slumped against him. Only then did he tuck her close and guide her back to the cottage. The rain didn’t matter anymore. Alice barely noticed it trickling down the back of her dress, for Ewan had his arm around her waist and anticipation bubbled under her skin.

  With the cottage door shut against the storm, Ewan stirred the embers of the fire and tossed on more coal. Alice unbuttoned her dress with fingers that shook as her teeth chattered. Possibly it was far colder outside than she thought, but Ewan would soon warm her from the inside out. In fact, she suspected he would make her burn.

  She stepped out of the soaking dress and tossed it over a chair to dry by the fire. Ewan pulled her close and claimed her mouth again. His hands tangled in her short hair as he held her in place and took control of the kiss. He plunged over her lips and explored her mouth with practised flicks of his tongue until all she could do was whimper and fist his shirt.

  Lord, the man turned her into a pyre of longing as though she burned at the stake of her love.

  “You’re frozen. Let’s get you into bed, and I shall warm you up.” He helped her peel the shift from her body and laid it over the damp dress. She was naked before him except for her stockings, and it sent a thrill through her body.

  Ewan walked her backwards until she sat on the edge of the bed. With drawn out motions and one muttered curse, he managed to drop to his knees. He knelt, a penitent at her feet.

  “Are you all right?” Concern wrinkled her brow when he remained still and silent for too long. Had he hurt himself in attempting to kneel?

  When he looked up, a sad smile crossed his full lips. “I have not tasted a woman’s pleasure since before I was injured. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  How could he disappoint her? But she suspected it wasn’t worry about too brief a physical performance that ate at him. His pain cut through her, and Alice brushed her hands through his black hair and made his gaze meet hers. “The simple act of your touch brings more ple
asure than I have ever known. You could never disappoint me, but later I will put another poultice on that leg to draw out more silver. I’ll not have you suffering when I can ease your pain.”

  “Let’s deal with one ache at a time,” he whispered, then dropped a kiss on her inner thigh.

  Alice sucked in a breath at the heat his lips generated. He slid a finger under the top of her stocking, and with agonising slowness he rolled it down her leg, over her knee, and all the way to her ankle. He caressed every inch of skin on his way down her limb. Then he pulled the first stocking off of her foot and turned his attention to the other leg.

  His blue eyes blazed with cool fire as, once again, he began by placing a kiss on her thigh. Then his fingers slid between skin and knitted stocking before the item, and his hand, took a leisurely journey down her leg.

  Alice closed her eyes, her attention focused on the light strokes as he dragged his knuckles down her thigh. Around and behind her knee Ewan placed caresses before his fingers fluttered along her calf to encircle her ankle.

  By the time stocking number two was discarded, her chest rose and fell with sharp breaths as anticipation and longing collided inside her. Alice was glad she was sitting down, for her knees had turned to jelly. It had been so long since a man saw her as something desirable that she didn’t know how she would bear the agony of waiting for him.

  “Get under the blankets,” he said, resting his hands on the mattress to lever himself up to his feet.

  Only when she pulled the blanket over her shoulders did he begin to undress. His wet shirt joined an equally sodden pair of trousers over a chair.

  Ewan was beautiful in the pale light. Shadows flickered and played over his muscles. He reminded Alice of a fine statue, carved in the image of the Gods. Old injuries and faded scars made him easier to look at, as though the artist had deliberately added an imperfection to his masterpiece. That savage touch marred his beauty and made him human as opposed to an otherworldly creature, too good for her.

  Alice licked her lips and imagined how his body would feel under her tongue. Would his skin taste of salt from the ocean air and beach?

  He climbed into the bed and drew her into his arms. This time, they were skin to skin, and she drank in the contact. He radiated heat even though he should have been as cold as her. He projected such icy control, and yet once naked, he burned like a furnace so that Alice craved his heat.

  “You’re so warm, yet you are as drenched as I am.” Her hands stroked over his chest, following the lines around muscles to where an old scar ran under his ribs.

  She sighed as she slid closer to him and angled her head, eager for more of his scorching kisses.

  “Body heat is a wolf trait. We burn hotter, and it makes us ideal wintertime bed companions,” he murmured against her skin.

  Alice envied those Highland maidens who spent long, snowy winters in bed with their lycanthrope lovers. A hundred such winters wouldn’t be enough to ever satisfy her hunger for him.

  Ewan took his time with languid, leisurely kisses that stole her breath. His hands ran up over her ribs to cup a breast and explore her flesh with a firm touch. Stroke by stroke he added fuel to her pyre, yet he batted away all her attempts to hurry or direct his attention. If this was a rusty, out of practice performance, then she was grateful for it. Any more and she would surely explode like a volcano, unable to contain the pressure.

  He rolled her to the mattress as he began a descent of blazing kisses down her body.

  “I will have you know that I take it as a matter of honour to ensure the woman always reaches completion first.” He licked the sensitive skin between her breasts. “And second.”

  His tongue circumnavigated her navel and then his head dipped lower. Alice gasped at the first nip at her most intimate spot. No man had ever tasted her there. Until now.

  Coherent thoughts became impossible. Words swirled in her mind, dancing beyond her reach as her world spun. All she could do was curl one hand in Ewan’s hair to anchor herself. Whimpers and cries punctuated the quiet as pressure built under her skin. When he stroked her with a finger, Alice exploded in a crescendo that left her gasping.

  “That’s one,” Ewan whispered. Then, rather than letting her catch her breath, he renewed his efforts. Gentle nips from his teeth sent shock waves through her body, still reeling from the first hard release. A second finger joined the first as he kept a steady rhythm that called forth a wave that crashed through her body.

  Alice’s back arched off the bed, her hands pulling on the sheet as Ewan relentlessly pursued her pleasure. The world spun so fast she thought surely it would either stop or she would be flung off into the dark void. But always Ewan was there, the tether that allowed her to fly. His touch added fresh coal to her fire. When he curled his fingers inside her body, she gasped his name as another burst of ecstasy shot from her core and raced along her limbs.

  “And two.” He kissed his way back up her body. When his teeth grazed the skin over her ribs, another shudder rippled through her. “Now I can be selfish and claim you for myself.”

  He took his weight on his good arm as he joined their bodies. Alice bit her lip as he sank into her. With slow, deep thrusts, he reminded her that she was not only a woman, but a desirable one. He hooked her leg over his hip as Alice ran her fingertips over his back.

  “Harder. Mark me as yours,” he murmured. She dragged her nails over his skin, deep enough to leave red lines, and he sucked in a gasp of, “Yes.”

  Higher and higher, Alice circled in the sky. Each time, she thought Ewan could throw her no further, but then her body responded to his ministrations and she flew until she struggled for breath and her mind splintered in the most amazing burst of ecstasy.

  Ewan’s wolf appeared to her, running across the sky. Its ebony fur was a shimmer against the stars and its eyes glowed like sapphires. The enormous creature stopped before her. It clutched something in its jaws, and shafts of light tried to escape as though it held a star on its tongue.

  Alice reached out a hand and the wolf dropped the object into her hand. When she uncurled her fingers, a tiny silvery orb lay in her palm. The last piece of her soul.

  Complete at last, she cried out as pleasure exploded through her body in time with the storm that raged outside.

  Ewan groaned as his release followed hard behind hers and the two of them clung to each other as they floated in a velvet sky lit by sparkling gems. The wolf played, chasing stars just like Eilidh chased rabbits in a meadow.

  Moment by quiet moment, Alice fluttered back to Earth with Ewan, and the wolf faded back into the velvet night sky.

  They dozed for a little while, both sated and content to let their minds drift in and out of slumber. Alice lay in the arms of the man she loved and wondered how to shatter the last barriers around his heart.

  At least now she understood his reluctance to let a woman close. How it must have scarred the young boy to see his mother die at the hands of his father. Abuse had broken both their minds, but like the blade, they were forged in fire and emerged on the other side stronger.

  “You’re wrong,” she whispered in the pale afternoon light. The storm had exhausted itself outside the window. The rain lightened to a steady patter and dusk was not far away.

  Ewan pulled her atop him. “About what?”

  Alice straddled his hips and laid her hands on his shoulders. “Love.”

  She moved her body above him. Ewan might not be able to shift forms to heal his physical injuries, but other parts of him exhibited remarkable recovery powers.

  “Oh? Enlighten me. I will admit it is a topic that I know little about.” His hands made lazy circles up and down her back.

  She trod carefully, wanting to reach him but not scare him away. He seemed so adamant that love meant destruction for any woman who he let close. He just couldn’t see that Alice was already under his skin, and part of her had been protected by his wolf.

  “Your father and brother never loved. What you de
scribed was possession. If you truly love someone, you cannot harm them. Look inside yourself and look to your pack brothers. Wolves protect as fiercely as they love. You would lay down your life for the one you love.” She would. If anyone threatened Ewan, she would use whatever arcane knowledge and power she possessed to keep him safe.

  His hands stopped their movement as he considered her words. “How can you be so sure?”

  “I have been possessed, but I have never been loved.” There was another sad truth that had fractured her soul. Hoth had possessed her, but no man had ever loved her. Knowing one allowed her an insight into the other. Obsession wasn’t love; it was a disguise for controlling someone. Like a child who guards a favourite toy they don’t want someone else to touch.

  “Well, I confess to knowing nothing about love, but I know enough to fill volumes about pleasure. Let me show you.”

  He rolled her under him and claimed her mouth in a slow, breath-stealing kiss.

  Alice had given Ewan something to ponder. Now she plotted how to use her mage-blood gift to keep her promise given by the waterfall. Only when Ewan truly embraced the darkest parts of himself and trusted his creature could man and wolf be free.

  24

  Ewan

  * * *

  The banging that awoke Ewan was not unlike the unwelcome intrusion of a hangover, except he was sober. As he roused, he identified the source of the noise as someone hammering on the cottage door. The worst of the storm had passed and late afternoon edged into dusk. He untangled himself from Alice’s warm body and slipped from the bed. His clothing was hung over a chair and, thankfully, looked dry.

  The pounding continued.

  “Coming,” he yelled as he pulled on his trousers. Not an easy thing to do when one leg wouldn’t hold his weight and he had to balance his buttocks on the table to get his foot in the right leg hole.