The Stage

by Catherine Russell

  In the darkness I couldn’t see anything, but our breathing was in sync, hard and rushed. His hand held my neck with urgency; the other pulled my hands to his neck; he wanted me to hold on. My brain was screaming to get myself out of here, but the need—no, the want—to feel his touch was even louder. Then I heard the elevator stop alarm. He’d pushed it, holding us there in total darkness.

  “Geoffrey, what’s going on?” My voice broke off as I tried to catch my breath.

  “Megan—” his voice purred in the dark. He took a step back, holding me carefully. I looked up, trying to find his face, and then I saw his eyes. Glowing like the deepest blue sapphires, they seemed to gather in any remaining light to them.

  “Your eyes!” I said as I suddenly realized that my back was up against the wall. With nowhere to run, my fear began to build, but something quieted my mind. I reached up to his face; it was stone cold, and not moving at all. Something uneasy churned in my stomach and I squirmed, trying to put more space between us.

  His hands found mine, and he pressed them tenderly to his chest again. “I have so much to tell you, to explain,” he said. “But I don’t have much time.” He sounded so pained! There was an urgency behind his words that told me it was vital to understand this, so I tried to calm my thoughts. Flashes of images confused me. What is going on?

  Just then the lights came back on, and the sudden flash of light quickly made me shut my eyes. I looked up, squinting, and noticed that he already had his glasses back on.

  The doors opened and we stepped out, with Geoffrey leading the way. I fumbled with my keys, and his open hand offered to help me. Suddenly Geoffrey’s head snapped up, and I followed his gaze. As the lock clicked, Chase’s door opened.

  If there was ever a time I’d seen Geoffrey look angry, it was now. It was as if a mask had been pulled down. Chase was standing on our right; Geoffrey shifted me to his left arm while holding Chase’s attention with a menacing glare.

  Chase took one look at us and his eyes narrowed, taking on a glare of their own.

  “Megan, are you all right?” he asked.

  “Yeah, Chase. Everything’s good. I’ll catch you later.” I stumbled over my words, trying to get inside.

  “Hey, your friend Ashleigh came by a couple of times looking for you. I just thought you ought to know. She looked pretty upset,” he added as I tried to politely close the door.

  “Thanks, Chase. I’ll give her a call.”

  Once inside I wondered if I should leave the door unlocked or not. I chose to trust myself. Through the brightening windows I could see Geoffrey’s silhouette; his back was to me with his head bowed, his arms wrapped tight around him. I could just make out his features; his jaw seemed too tight. In the brief time I’d known him he’d always seemed relaxed. Now he seemed stiff, almost like he was awkward.

  I wanted answers. I reached for the light switch but instead found his hand already there. Holy crap, how’d he move so fast?

  “Look, I’m not exactly sure of what’s going on, and I’m not entirely comfortable with this—whatever ‘this’ is,” I began. But I couldn’t deny the feelings that stirred within my own heart. It felt like a runaway train of emotions and feelings, with no brakes, so overwhelming. I wanted to help him but the question was how. “Geoffrey, whatever it is, you can tell me. You asked me to trust you, and I’m trying. Now you need to do the same.”

  I slowly reached up, touching his face. My hand trembled and he noticed. He took it and held it to his cheek; my warmth seemed to melt him as he relaxed. We stood there with no words, his lips kissing the top of my head. I didn’t want to move.

  “Megan, I have to go. Please understand that I do trust you. I would never hurt you. But I should go.”

  His words struck a chord from earlier in the evening when I came upon him and Ashleigh in the middle of an intense conversation. They both instantly stopped talking and parted ways.

  “Does this have to do with what you and Ashleigh were arguing about before we left? I didn’t mean to overhear you. I was around the corner when you two were talking and I heard… if you hurt her… ”

  “You heard that, did you?” he asked.

  “Yeah, but I didn’t understand it. And it’s not like Ash to come checking on me. She usually just calls. Is there something going on?”

  “Just know this, Meg: I could never hurt you. You mean more than I can explain right now. I’ll speak with Ashleigh; she’s just concerned about you. She knows how sensitive you are—and now, so do I. But I do need to go.”

  I closed my eyes, the strange images flashing again. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to clear the confusion. I took a step back, shaking my head. In a way I was scared—scared to have him stay, but more so if he left. My lack of words must’ve been plain on my face.

  He took a quick glance toward the balcony; it was growing brighter by the minute. “Megan, I’ll be back here with you soon. I have to leave you now, but I’ll return tomorrow night. I’ll explain more then; just promise me you’ll be careful while I’m gone,” he said, almost pleading.

  His eyes were so dark, holding my gaze. I didn’t have a choice. Of course I’d wait. “I promise.” I said in a sad voice. The confusing evening was coming down around me, and my head felt fuzzy.

  He lifted my chin, wiping away the one tear that fell. “No tears, Megan. I’ll return to you soon.”

  In one smooth movement he bent to kiss me, his lips quick and light. He turned and was gone. The door was already shut so quietly I might not have known it if I hadn’t been watching him.

  The room was suddenly quiet… too still. All I could hear was my heart pounding. My breathing was raspy. I felt so utterly alone. A few moments ago I was in confused bliss, and now felt like I was sinking in a well. I was chilled to the bone. I headed in to the bathroom, hoping a shower would clear my mind.

  So much was going on that I just couldn’t process it. I drained the hot water tank and reached for the towel. I stumbled and caught myself on the corner of the counter, knowing if Geoffrey had been here he probably would’ve come out of nowhere to catch me. I put on my old flannel lounge pants and threadbare tee shirt, then I tried to towel dry my hair, to no use.

  Finally, I pulled the blinds shut to block out the morning sun and found my way back to bed, collapsing out of sheer exhaustion. Thank goodness my iPod was charged! I let the notes carry me away as the images kept flashing over and over, like still pictures flipped quickly to make a moving scene: Geoffrey, my old home, the woods, the terrifying cave, even Ashleigh and Toto.

  What did it mean? Who was he, really?

  I drifted off into a confusing dream realm that kept merging with reality.

  Chapter 7

  The following week, every time I thought I cornered him, Geoffrey vanished. He’d be on stage eyeing me as he sang; I’d go backstage to watch him behind the curtains; he’d move down to the other end of the stage. I’d be pouring a cocktail, he’d be holding a drink down at the other end of the bar, staring at me over the rim; I’d turn around and poof, he was gone.

  I’m not one for games, especially at work, so I really didn’t appreciate this hot/cold crap; either he liked me or he didn’t. So I walked away from it, just totally ignoring him. If that’s what he wanted, I would be happy to oblige. I decided to dive into work instead and get to know the rest of the staff. Ash had hired two other waitresses, and one of them was Dawn. I felt a bit awkward around her since that first night when I had been found in the storage room, hallucinating. But since then I’d managed to work past that embarrassing moment and we’d become kind of friends.

  “So, how’s school treating you?” I asked one night during a lull between sets, stocking the ice bins. I didn’t know if Geoffrey was around; I wasn’t going to go scouting for him.

  “It’s crazy, girl. There are so many people in my classes, and the profs are always so busy
with everyone else. I’m definitely not used to this whole big city thing, but I do enjoy my classes. Give me a good book, a challenge, and I’m a happy camper. And I really like my study group—it’s got some serious eye candy to distract me.” Her cheeks flamed bright red, and with her red hair, she reminded me of Pippi Longstocking.

  “Hmm, maybe I should join your study group then,” I said, reaching down for a few cubes of ice that had dropped on the floor.

  “Why would you do that when you’ve got him eyeing you non-stop?”

  I had my back to the stage, but I already knew who she was talking about. I didn’t want to go there, however, so I played dumb… not my best act, but it was all I had to work with. “What? Who are you talking about?”

  “Uh duh! The hunky lead singer man, who else?” she said, putting her hands on her hips.

  I so did not want to go down this road. The DJ had stayed late to practice a new lineup on what crowd was left and I tried to act interested in the music and not her observation. “Really, I hadn’t noticed.”

  “Hello? He picks you up and drives you home, he’s always staring at you. How could you not notice? That’s some serious eye candy, if you ask me.”

  “Oh, he’s just doing that as a favor for Ashleigh,” I stuttered, sounding totally stupid.

  “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you looking him over now and then, too, so don’t play dumb with me. As for me, I have my eye on someone else,” she said, glancing at the other end of the bar, where Ian was talking to a customer.

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Pepper walking towards us, so I quickly got busy doing anything but looking in her direction. “Hey, Pepper. Can I get you something?” Dawn asked. I was slicing up lemons on a cutting board, keeping my back to them… and using the wall mirrors to slyly watch them.

  “Actually I’m parched. Can I have a tall glass of water with lemon, if you’ve got it?” she asked, knowing what I was doing. That was smooth.

  “Meg, pass me those lemons, will ya?” Dawn asked.

  I had to turn around. I adjusted my glasses—an automatic twitch—and handed her the cutting board. “Here ya go,” I said.

  “Thanks, ladies!” As awkward as I was feeling, Pepper’s voice felt like nails on a chalkboard… and then I had an idea.

  “Hey, Dawn? Would you mind asking Ian if he’s got any limes? The bin at this end of the bar is empty.”

  “Sure, no problem!” she said, cheerful for any excuse to speak with her new obsession… which left me in the clear to try out my idea. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do.

  “Hey Pepper, do you have a minute?” As she turned back to face me, I realized it was the first time I had really looked at her. Her cropped black pixie cut was perfect for her heart-shaped face, and I realized she was a little taller than me. She was wearing some serious platform boots and even though I wasn’t much for fashion, I felt a twinge of envy over them. But I could never pull those off; heels and I never mixed well. Her eyes were what struck me the most; they were the same intense shade of blue as Geoffrey’s. Maybe it’s a band thing; they all wear the same colored contacts. “I wanted to say your voice is awesome and the music is wicked.”

  “Thanks. We’re still polishing it up a bit, but it’s coming along really well.” She smiled easily, and that helped me ask the next question. I had noticed that when Geoffrey and Pepper were on stage, they played off each other really well… making me think that perhaps they were a couple.

  “I had a question. When you guys are on stage, you work really well together. All of you—you know, you, Geoffrey, the other guys…” God, I sounded like an idiot.

  “And you’re wanting to know if he and I are…” she let the words hang in the air as my embarrassment came full circle. I couldn’t even look at her, I was so flushed, but her small giggle made me glance up. She kindly rubbed my arm, shaking her head.

  “That’s a simple misconception. To answer it, no, we’re not. He’s like the big brother I never had. I swear—it’s all just an act.” I felt a true smile spread across my face for the first time in a while. I realized I’d held my breath and let it out with a sigh.

  “Thanks for that, and for not letting me make an even bigger fool of myself.” She reached out to hug me and I found it was easier than I thought to give in.

  “Trust me, Meg, when I say he’s got eyes for someone else. It’s not me. You can believe that above all else.” She winked at me and I was working again to keep my mouth from falling open. I pushed my glasses back into place, shuffling my feet in full twitch mood.

  “And by the way, he likes you without your glasses.” She winked again and turned and walked away.

  I stood there in shock for a moment, not knowing what to do. I was still reeling from Pepper’s encouragement, counting down my till, when Ashleigh found me.

  “So, how’s Dawn working out?”

  “She’s good. She caught on pretty quick, too—though I do believe she’s got her eye on Ian.” I smiled.

  “I’m not surprised. He is adorable in a cute, preppie way.” That’s Ash’s way of saying he’s a jock yet stylish; gotta love her… but the way she was eyeing me, I knew she was fishing for something more.

  “So, what’s up with you two?” she said, gesturing to the stage where Geoffrey was breaking down the equipment with the two other guys, Robert and Mitch. At least, I think that’s their names; Robert, the bassist; Mitch, who worked the drums until they screamed for mercy.

  “To tell you the truth, Ash… I’m not sure. He seems really interested one minute—and then totally ignores me the next. I can’t quite figure him out.” I was

  staring at Geoffrey again, then I realized she was silent. I turned to see her grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Okay. So I’m busted,” I finally said, handing her the cash.

  “Oh girl, you’re more than busted. It’s like two magnets trying not to be attracted! You two spend so much time staring at each other, it’s ridiculous.” She smiled, but there was a touch of worry to her face. I walked up the stairs to the office with her, bringing the other two cash drawers. When I glanced back, I noticed Ian and Dawn flirting and smiling.

  I put the cash drawers down on her desk and started to count down the money, but she stopped my hands. “Meg, I want to talk to you about him,” she said, taking my hand and leading me over to the small leather couch in the office. She was acting so concerned that suddenly my worries seemed validated.

  “Ash, I’ll admit it. I do kind of like him.” It was the first time I’d said these words out loud.

  “Kind of?” she asked. “I’d say its way beyond ‘like,’ girlfriend. I know how you are, and he’s the whole package—looks, voice, the moves, everything. I know him pretty well Meg; he’s a good guy… but a guy nonetheless. Just be careful of your heart.”

  There it was again, a not-so-subtle reminder of the two times I’d fallen for someone back in school and gotten my heart broken. She’d been there to help pick up the pieces, of course, even though she didn’t have much experience with heartbreak herself. She rotated through men like glasses of wine, a different vintage every week, it seemed.

  “I know, Ash, and thanks. But there’s something different about him—I don’t know what it is. I swear I know him from somewhere; it’s driving me crazy.” The images came to me again, flashing through my mind. I took off my glasses, rubbing my eyes.

  “Just be careful, that’s all I’m saying.” Then she got her girlish grin on and that lightened the moment. “Well, it’s about time it dawned on you. The rest of us have been waiting for it to register. I must say…” she stood back looking at me, a once- over with her designer glasses in place, “you two actually make a cute couple—in a ­‘goth-grunge-rock-meets-bookworm’ kind of way.”

  I knew her too well to be offended. I was at a loss of words. I gave her a huge hug and we finished closing up. As we worked we
began to talk about the bar’s first big event, coming up fast.

  “All the permits are in place for a big party and a busy night. Halloween’s right around the corner, tickets have been selling fast.” She smiled with

  dollar signs in her eyes.

  “It’ll be a night to remember, that’s for sure.” She knew me, Halloween was my favorite holiday.

  Dawn and Ian went happily out the door before us, and the others had already gone.

  “See you tomorrow,” I called out, walking out of the alley, thankful for a clear, cold night to walk home.

  I made my way up the hill, deep in thought. A couple of times I had to stop and rub my eyes to clear the waking dreams and images that haunted me. With the late hour came very little traffic, so I crossed a few streets against the lights without worry. I momentarily sat down in a bus stop, trying to make sense of it all.

  His stares, his words kept pulling at my heart when my brain was screaming not to listen. The way he moved on stage, his voice so perfect, all of it was intoxicating and I found I couldn’t keep from thinking of him. The images of him, me as a child, and the old property kept pestering my mind to figure it all out. That’s it; I’m too tired to think on this right now. I trudged out into the street and pushed myself homeward bound, to my bed that was calling my name.

  Then I heard it: a sound that sent an icy shiver up my spine.

  Megan… The sound of my name, suspended in air, but not out loud. I froze, looking around. Who the hell was that? Where was it coming from?

  My eyes scanned the darkest recesses of the street corners and alleyways. I could hear my heart racing, beating on the walls of my chest. My breath came out in clouds of fog, the temperature dropping, as was my feeling of safety. The sound of the crosswalk sign, blinking off and on, plus the far-off echo of a car alarm made my skin crawl. I reached for my phone, only to realize that yet again, it wasn’t in my pack. Crap!