The Stage

by Catherine Russell

  His fingers reached out to touch the canvas and stuttered in mid-air. His eyes followed every curve, every change in color across the picture. He was silent for so long I began to worry that maybe I’d upset him, which definitely wasn’t my intention. His words came so torn I ached just hearing them. “I’m not upset. Somehow you’ve…” He looked at me, his eyes aching to cry. “If it were possible for us to cry I would. I can’t explain what this means to me. Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe how well you’ve captured her. I must ask this—”

  My smile at his happiness grew on its own, and I stopped him before he continued. “I saw the painting in your den. I was hoping you hadn’t noticed it was gone. Pepper and Tracy helped me.”

  “No, I don’t mind at all. Actually I knew. Your scent was strong that day and in that room in particular. I knew then you had taken it but I couldn’t fathom your reasoning.

  “But what I was going to ask was—have you been looking at my memories?”

  “Huh? You lost me.”

  “Remember I showed you mine, of Marco and others?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Well, I volunteered those memories but I thought perhaps you had been able to search my memories on your own across the link.”

  “Is that possible?”

  “At this point in our development it very well could be.” He looked worried. Even though it had been more than a century since his mother had died, his feelings were so human. We both understood what it meant to lose a mother’s love. My own tears tried to fall but I forcibly wiped them away. The last thing I wanted tonight was to be sad. Even without the link, it was plain to see how much he loved my gift. He saw my own threat of waterworks and quickly tried to save the moment.

  “Now it’s my turn. I’ve waited a lifetime to share a holiday with you. Merry Christmas, love.” He reached behind the couch. In his hands was a large box wrapped in dark green velvet, topped with a smaller one, both tied with a bright red Christmas bow. I sat back, crossed my legs, and tried not to sniff my now runny nose.

  “You know you didn’t need to do this. Everything you’ve done, all of you, has been gift enough.” I tugged at the ribbon and opened the smaller box. Across the link I could feel his anticipation, which in turn only made me that much more nervous. Inside was a beautiful silver Celtic bracelet. The intricate patterns woven around it were entrancing, with no beginning or ending. It was thick, antique silver. The engraving was old, darkened by age. I could see the hammer marks. My fingers traced the delicate patterns. He gently placed it on my arm. It felt like it had somehow always been a part of me.

  “Geoffrey, it’s beautiful. Thank you, but it’s too much, I can’t accept this.”

  “It’s nothing new, trust me. Just something I had lying around. Besides, it suits you, delicate yet strong.”

  In that instant a flash memory came rushing back to me. The day he rescued me. I remembered it clearly. The memory lingered, mixing the past and current Geoffreys right before my eyes.

  “What was that? I didn’t catch it,” he said. His arm was around my back, so I wiggled out from his hold and held his arm. The same bracelet was on his as on mine, though his was visibly older and broader.

  “They match,” I said and eyed him. His eyebrows raised in suspicion.

  “Once again, you’re observant.” He took his off and curved both of them together. The way mine sat on top, it nestled into his pattern, completing it. He then put the second gift into my hands. The weight and shape of the box didn’t give me any clue as to what it was.

  I opened it, finding an old leather-bound album. The intricate cover details were similar to my bracelet. I touched the familiar raised edges. I lifted the cover page to find a hand-written note.

  “What did you… ?” My words cut off as I did a double-take.

  On the first page, I found a black and white picture of a small girl, whose hair was blowing in the wind. The sun fell upon her in such a way that she seemed to glow. Her toothless grin was recognizable. In her arms a tiny black and white dog struggled against her hug. I knew the dog. I knew the girl. She was me, when I was four, and the dog was my Toto.

  It took me a moment to reach for the next page. The size of the knot in my throat made it difficult to speak, which was a good thing right now. This picture was one that my mother had taken—one that I thought had been lost to the fire. The next page was from the following year, but I wasn’t alone in the picture. I was sitting in my mother’s arms on a swing at a park, our smiles almost identical. It was one of the few that she actually smiled in.

  On and on I kept turning the pages. My tears didn’t stop. All the memories came flooding back. I wanted to look up and see him, but I couldn’t look away from the memories that played out on the pages.

  “How’d you… when?” I was reduced to single words, I was in such shock. Through the years the pictures flowed. The older I got, the more the darker times played out on her small features, robbing her of her smile. No matter what picture she was in, though, I always thought she was beautiful.

  I physically tore my eyes away from the book to look at him, and I saw that my emotions were playing out on his face. He’d given me back memories I thought time had stolen away. “I don’t know what to say.” I blinked away the tears, feeling things that I hadn’t felt in years.

  “I was hoping to give you something…” He tried to speak but I cut off his words with my lips. He had given me back my past; now I wanted to complete our present.

  The only thing to give is you, I silently sent as we made our way through the house. It could have been on fire and we wouldn’t have noticed. I reached out with my senses. We were completely alone and we both knew it. My lips yielded to his tongue and mine dancing in his sweet taste. I placed the album on the nightstand next to the ancient box. My heart was beating double time. The tighter I held myself to him the more I wanted. Wordlessly, he told me the same, yet we’d never gone this far. My hands had a mind of their own, their strength increasing with every moment. His were like ice against the heat of my body.

  Meg… I—

  I could feel his anxiousness growing. He wanted to follow the path we were heading down, yet part of him, the sane part, was holding him back. Every muscle in my body was moving in sync with his. Then some natural instinct kicked in. I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. One moment we were near the windows, the next I pinned him up against the paneled wall, barely using a portion of my strength. I could feel the pressure building inside of me.

  I want to do this, Geoffrey. We’ve always wanted this, both of us know it.

  “Megan… you don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he said aloud, gasping as my mouth found his neck, working down across his chest. I flung open his shirt, finding the curves of his body. His scent assaulted me, driving my passion even more. His arms gripped my shoulders, bringing me up to his mouth. My costume tore off, leaving my pink camisole hanging by one strap. I tried to slip off the green stockings, but his hands stopped me. I jerked away from his hold, staring at him. It was then that I saw his eyes. The absolute predator look that showed on his

  features was warring with the wants and desires of his body. I realized he was the very edge of letting loose.

  I wasn’t scared of what I saw, but I could feel he was. He didn’t trust himself.

  I don’t know if I can do this… I’m—

  Scared? I answered his silent fear.

  I felt his hands thread their way through my hair, holding me to his body. I could feel a low moan growing deep inside of him.

  Don’t hold back, let it go. I let him feel the freedom of my joy in our bodies. I closed my eyes, reaching across the link, creating the scene as I pulled him to me, feeling his entire body mold to mine.

  It’s you… it’s always been, and always will be. His voice rang out in my mind. His words in my mind grew stronger with every momen
t that passed. We are as one, now and forever. I love you more than life itself.

  I dug my fingernails into his back, drawing out more passion with each pass. Working my way down with kisses, I fumbled with the top button of his jeans. Damn Levi’s. Suddenly his hands were there, helping my clumsy fingers. In that instant I knew his mind was in complete control of his instincts. His confidence in us showed in the darkness of his eyes. I dove farther into his memories across the link. It was there I found his desire to satisfy this one natural, human craving. I looked up to see an intense anticipation on his face.

  Megan… I’ve… He gave in as I reached for his most intimate memories. There it was, plain as day. He’d never experienced the longing he had for us now ever. This was a first for both of us. Now I understood his hesitancy in having us cross this point. There was no turning back now.

  I’ve got to be careful. Wordlessly I showed him I was ready for this moment. In one smooth motion he swept me up into his arms, laying me down amongst the sea of comforters. The light of the snow fell upon him as he slithered out of his jeans. Seeing him truly for the first time would be a memory I could live off of. His silver Celtic cross necklace was the only distraction. I brushed his hair out of his eyes as he prowled across the bed towards me. His cool fingers carefully slipped off the camisole’s shoulder strap, and I noticed his hands trembled just slightly. He was more human now than at any other time. He let the camisole fall silently to the floor. I should have been cold being pressed up against his chest but my body was on fire. His arm wrapped around my shoulders as I let my head roll back, exposing my neck.

  In the recess of his thoughts I could still feel his natural instinct that came to his kind, to drink. I knew I could trust him with my life.

  Are you sure? His growl came across the link, on fire with the desire of both the man and the vampire that he was.

  Yes, I clearly answered.

  His full body weight pressed against me, making itself known to me as he carefully parted my legs, and I wrapped them around his hips.

  With one arm secured around my waist, the other locking down on my neck, his mouth found mine, our kiss deeper than ever before. The burn of the venom only fueled the fire. I opened my eyes to see him. He gave me one last chance to back out.

  Never, I said loudly across the link.

  He took his hand to his own throat, drawing across it with his nails. In one quick motion, he sliced and the wound began to seep. I was instantly drawn to it, locking down my own mouth upon it. In that same instant his mouth found my neck; his teeth sliced easily through my human skin. The endless circle we’d created expanded as he drank from me and I him. There was no pain, just the very natural instinct I’d been drawn into. His voice joined mine in a pleasure that was quickly becoming all-consuming. The sheer willpower he was using to control his movements was incredible. He reacted to every movement and curve of my body. We were pushing the limits of both the link and of his nature. The pain was exquisitely sweet.

  Then darkness crept across the link, shadowing me. The icy tendrils of his darkest aspects wrapped around me, locking me down. He began to force me down as I broke my lips free from his neck. Tremors rocked through me as I realized what was happening.

  The beast was taking over and I was trapped. His humanity had deserted him, leaving me to his thirst for blood. This isn’t happening! It can’t be! No, I wouldn’t allow it. I had to fight; he’d want me to fight. I wanted us, I wanted to live! I knew screaming wouldn’t help, whether aloud or through the link. If the darkness had swallowed him, then I had to give into the same, to find his strength to break free.

  I closed my eyes, pushing on the link, and discovered where I was. I stood on the riverbank of his memories, both human and immortal. Decade after decade of memories flowed past. The human pictures were unfocused, but the snapshots of his immortal life were vivid with emotions: anger, fear, and passion. I pulled those darker moments into myself, feeling the pain that they had not only caused him, but also the others he had inflicted it upon. I grimaced from the amount of energy that they held, but I knew I needed it now to save us both. Willing myself with every strength I had, I climbed up those banks, closed my eyes, and reached into his soul with all of our combined strength.

  Stop! You’re killing us! I shot the words into his mind as I physically shoved him off of me. With piercing eyes, he stared me down, prowling the edge of the bed. The menacing growl that hissed from his lips failed to distract me from escaping. I had tapped into his strength and could feel it within my grasp as I jumped down, putting the huge bed between us. I knew he could snap one of the bedposts like a toothpick if he wanted me. I had to play to his human side, to jumpstart his humanity again.

  “Geoffrey, it’s me! Megan,” I pleaded. “Please stop, look at what you’re doing, feel how scared I am. I won’t let you end us, not like this, not now. Find my love; find our love in your heart. It’s there, feel it. Don’t think, feel!”

  His eyes narrowed as his head tilted, calculating his next move. I faltered round the corner, trying desperately to hang on to the comforter I had gathered around me. My blood had soaked it and the nausea threatened to burn my throat. The tears welled up in my eyes as I looked into his, and that’s when I saw it—the dawning of recognition in his eyes.

  He shook his head violently as he held it with his hands and fell to his knees. His body heaved with sobs as he gasped for air. Through the link I could feel his struggle to sequester the beast within, the loathing of the realization of what he had done to me. He crumbled to the ground, crawling away from my touch as I reached out to him. No, don’t come any closer. Stay back. I could feel that he wanted me close again, but it wasn’t for the right reason. He was depriving his demon of the reward it wanted. He stood firm against it…. but just barely.

  I moved away from him, and sat against the cool glass of the patio door; the icy frost reminded me I was still alive. Seconds passed into minutes, then turned into an hour. We sat apart, yet never left one another. Weariness was overtaking me, and my eyes could no longer stay open.

  His voice hadn’t returned, so I volunteered my own. I love you, never forget that. I glanced up, realized he was standing. I felt no fear; the link told me that he had completely reined in the darkness.

  “You amaze me,” he stared. “You didn’t leave me. You chose to trust me, knowing what I am… of what I’m capable of doing to you—to us. You chose us.” His guilt would eat him up for days; I could already tell.

  “Of course I do. Always have, always will,” I grinned, trying to stay awake.

  “I’ve stopped asking how I deserve you but you never falter. You are my past, present and future. I love you more.” His words rang true as sleep finally pulled me under.

  Chapter 27

  Christmas morning found us in each other’s arms. His chest crested and fell in sync with my body. I flexed, stretching the soreness that lingered. It was a discomfort that was manageable, considering the alternative—me lying here without a pulse. I knew better than to move my head too quickly, if I did I’d feel loopy. I took the time to feel the life that breathed within me, with him by my side.

  When I opened my eyes, the winter light was filtering through the window, not giving any hint as to the time. Somehow, during the night, he’d whisked away the blood-stained comforter. He’d carefully cradled me to his chest all night and I’d gladly remain there if it was my choice. His skin under my fingertips was warm to the touch.

  His eyes were open, looking at me with the most sorrowful and self-loathing look I’d ever seen. Yep, he was dragging himself over the guilty coals already.

  “I’m so—”

  “So help me, if you say the word ‘sorry’ I’ll have to cut your tongue out. Look at me.” His eyes didn’t waver as I sat up.

  “We said we’d try, and we did. Now we know, it’s going be a little tricky but I’m here, breathing and smilin
g,” I said, trying to do just that and not flinch from the painful bruise on my shoulder.

  “I love you too much to let you get hurt. You’re my world, Megan, I couldn’t hurt you more than I could hurt myself, but we mustn’t try this again. I can’t be trusted, not now, not ever. I love you.” His eyes looked painfully awkward. He was on the verge of weeping.

  “I love you more,” I said, knowing it was going to take a considerable amount of time for him to trust himself again. We continued to hold on to one another in silence. I don’t know how much time passed, but we remained by ourselves until the sun rose again.

  Being human can suck sometimes. We have the strangest needs, and our bodies have the most obnoxious timing. I didn’t want to move, nor did he but my bladder was screaming my name, my stomach competing for my attention.

  “Oh, I don’t want to get up, don’t make me. Can’t we just order in?” I playfully grumbled as he sat up, stroking my hair as I my head rested on his lap. His smile was still absent. I had to pull him out of this funk somehow.

  “I’m sure Andrew would be more than…”

  “I was joking.” I rolled my eyes, reaching up to give him a quick kiss and found my lips on his cheek instead. I had to be patient. He took a deep breath and attempted a half-hearted smile.

  “The day is ours. The snow has pretty much shut down the city and even the Queen herself texted to stay put and be safe though—perhaps we should take a rain check on your idea.” I still hadn’t completely mastered masking my thoughts, so my thought of a nice long shower with him was toast.

  “I’ll give you some time. I need to speak with Mitch and Robert. Hopefully they discovered some good news for us… while we were away.” I spied a small smile, pulling up one side of his mouth.

  At least it’s progress, I thought, blowing him a kiss as he left. After my quiet shower, I got dressed and felt almost normal. I walked out to the kitchen to find Andrew packing up another batch of meals to take to the shelters.