by René, Dani
Ash shakes his head in frustration. “If it’s this bad, how are you still—”
“So handsome?” I chuckle darkly. “The way it’s been growing has slowly limited my movement; you didn’t notice how I couldn’t do certain things anymore. I would spend days inside when I felt weak when my body was at war with the disease. My vision would be blurred to a point where I couldn’t read or paint anymore. It would come in waves, so I managed to hide it from you. The dizzy spells would hit me at times, but I never allowed you both to see it.”
“When I was at the hotel,” Ash mutters, and I nod.
Each night he went out allowed me to hide the pain. In the morning, I’d swallow meds to numb the agony coursing through my limbs. But it’s time to stop fighting what’s coming. “I can’t be here forever, Ash,” I tell him.
He shakes his head.
The sadness that emanates from my brother is like a fiery inferno, ready to ravage everything in its path. The destruction that I’ve caused by not telling him only seems to have made it worse. But given a choice, I’d do it again. It was what I needed.
“You have a life to create. My story is coming to an end.” I never wanted him to know. I didn’t want him living in the house with me, waiting for the moment when I didn’t wake up.
“I don’t like this. I fucking hate this whole fucked up story,” Ash finally says, but his tone is filled with agony. He peers at me. Those pained blue eyes held so much more than I could have ever imagined.
The knock on the door comes too soon. I want more time to talk to them both, but I know in the morning they’ll be back.
“We’re not leaving,” Ash says, rising from the bed. He stalks toward the nurse and has a long, hushed conversation while I grip Katerina’s hand in mine. The medication is slowly starting to make me sleepy. I’ll be of no use to them pretty soon.
I hate the feeling of numbness that overcomes me. I’ve always avoided any painkillers or cold medication. I’ve kept even alcohol to a minimum. But right now, I’d drink a bottle of bourbon with my brother just to take the edge off.
When Ash returns to the bed, he meets my gaze before informing me of his plans. “Kat and I will get a room across the road. The hotel is not bad, and we’ll be back in the morning.” He doesn’t ask for Katerina’s agreement in this, and I know she may bristle at the thought of having her choice taken away.
“Kat?” I turn to her. “Are you okay with that? You really don’t have to—”
“I’ll be here. It’s Saturday tomorrow, so I don’t have classes, and I would’ve stayed even if it weren’t.” She smiles down at me.
When she leans in and places a kiss on my cheek, I revel in her heat.
“Anything for you.” Her words are a whisper, and I don’t think Ash heard.
“Tomorrow, brother.” Ash’s voice sounds unsure. I’ve never seen my brother so broken before. Not even when our dad died.
“I’ll be here.”
I settle back in my uncomfortable hospital bed once they leave. How will Ash continue without me? He’s got a fiery woman on his hands, and I know she’ll keep him busy. But he holds so much inside. Sadness hits me, along with another bout of coughing, and I press the button for the nurse.
He’ll have to come clean and admit he loves her. I know he’s never said that to anyone outside our family before. But he’ll have to make his choice—either swallow his pride and convince her to stay with him or decide to let her go and allow her to live her life without him.
By then, I’ll be gone.
Katerina
The couch is comfortable.
I’m sitting alone, a glass of wine in hand, but my heart hurts. I haven’t known Ember for long, but it feels as if he’s been here my whole life. We have a connection of sorts. One that’s unique. A true friendship.
I blink, and the tears fall once more. They don’t want to stop, and I don’t know how to make them go away. It sucks having non-stop tears again, but it’s the only way to know this is real.
The knowledge that someone you care for, someone you love, is no longer going to be around is painful to come to terms with.
Seeing him today hurt me. And I can’t imagine what Ash is feeling.
He’s perched on a chair on the balcony. A call from work came through, and as far as I can tell he’s trying to put out a fire with the staff member.
He’s not himself.
Anger and rage are slowly consuming him like a fire waging war on his heart, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to calm it down. Ember believes I can. I know he does. But I have never had the confidence in myself to perform miracles.
“Sorry about that,” Ash says, stalking into the room. He flops on the sofa and pulls me onto his lap. “I wasn’t sure how this would work,” he tells me absentmindedly. “You and I . . . I don’t know how to describe it.”
“If you don’t want—”
“Don’t get me wrong,” he continues, ignoring me. “I want you. I want this,” he says as he waves a hand between us. “And my brother knew I would.” The confidence in his tone is pure. It soothes my fears, my worry that he may just send me away.
His hands hold my hips, gripping them tightly, and then he moves them, back and forth. It’s a gentle yet commanding motion and my core rubs against his bulge.
“Are you sure?” I question, my hands landing on his shoulders, holding on tight.
His gaze is filled with fire; flames of desire dance wildly within them. “Make me think of nothing else but you,” he tells me.
I move of my own accord. Leaning in, I steal his mouth with mine. Our lips mold together, and our tongues dance and tangle as pleasure zings through me. Every nerve in my body is alight with need. I’m wet.
If he put his fingers inside my panties, he’d find my arousal for him. His firm hands grip my ass, pulling me tighter against him. My fingers tangle in his hair, and the heat between us is unbearable.
Ash seems to notice and tugs at my clothes.
I fumble at his waistband, pulling at his shirt and the moment it’s on the floor, my fingertips trail over his taut, toned flesh. Dips and peaks of smooth tanned skin greet me. There aren’t any blemishes. How can he be this perfect?
His mouth moves from mine, over my cheek and down to my neck. He suckles the sensitive skin before grazing it with his teeth and causing me to shiver with anticipation.
I’m in a bra and panties by the time he’s lifted me and walked us into the bedroom.
After laying me down, he hovers over me for a moment, then settles between my thighs. The buckle of his belt taunts my clit, and when he elicits a whimper from me, the wolfish smirk on his lips reveals he’s about to torture me some more.
He moves in slow, steady thrusts, rubbing the smooth metal over my mound. My hips rise, but he pins them back down, holding me hostage.
“I’ve wanted this for so long.” He breaks the silence. His voice is raspy, low, and gravelly. His eyes have turned dark with lust.
I reach behind me, and unclasp my bra, allowing it to fall on the mattress.
Ash’s gaze darkens further, and his mouth descends on my nipple. Suckling the bud into his mouth, he bites down hard enough to draw a mewl from my lips. He releases the tortured peak, then moves to the other. Repeating the action, he licks and sucks me until my body is trembling.
“Are you going to come, Kitten? Will you purr for me?” His taunts are only fuel to the fire already raging inside me. Ash trails his mouth down my body, over my stomach, and even lower still. He pulls my panties along with his motion and soon, I’m bared for him.
“Please, Ash, just do it?”
My begging only makes him chuckle.
“I’m taking my time with you, Kitten,” he tells me. Then, his mouth is on me. I feel the warmth of him suckling me, licking me. His tongue dips into my pussy, and I can’t help but cry out from the pleasure exploding inside me.
He sucks my clit into his mouth, then pumps two fingers into me, easing them in and out in
a torturously slow motion which has me tugging at his hair. I want him closer, farther away, closer. I don’t even know. His assault on my body is pure bliss.
“So fucking delicious,” he growls against my wet entrance. “Will you come for me?”
I can’t find words, so I nod. Of course, I will. How is that even—my thoughts are halted when Ash inserts a third finger, then grazes the throbbing nub with his teeth, which sends me over the edge, and I’m crying out the only word I can think of at that moment—his name.
I don’t know how long I lie there. But when I open my eyes, Ash is between my legs once more. Only this time, he’s naked along with me, and his cock is pushing against my pussy.
“I want to go slow,” he tells me, inching forward. He groans when he’s inside me. “Fuck.”
“Please, just move,” I beg again. He’s brought me to the precipice and pushed me over, and now I’m nearing that same place once more.
His hips roll, pushing forward, and his cock spears into me, inch by inch.
“If I move any faster, you’ll break in two, Kitten.” He smiles down at me. His hands are on either side of my head as if he’s cocooning me in his affection. I want to say, love. I want to believe love. And I do. In this moment, with just our bodies locked together, I feel the love.
“What if I want you to break me in two?” I challenge with a soft laugh that makes him offer me that smile. The one that I’ve wanted to see on his face every day since we met.
Without warning, he plunges into me, fully seating himself, knocking the breath from my lungs.
My nails dig into his shoulders, and my legs wrap around his taut waist, pulling him impossibly deeper.
“You’re so fucking tight; too perfect for my cock.” His tone is reverent. His words bathe me in love. I can say it because that’s what it is.
He pulls out, almost all the way, then glides back in. I’m so wet. He doesn’t seem to care, though. He’s lost in pleasure, and he takes me along with him.
We move in sync. As if we were made to be together, to fit with each other. The feel of his thickness opening me, my body molding to his, and accepting him deeply—it’s as if he’s drawing out my pleasure, my heart, and my soul all at the same time.
My back arches the moment he moves faster, hitting the spot inside me that has my toes curling and my nails nearly breaking the skin.
“Little kitty has claws.” He smiles, peppering kisses all over my face. His hips slam me into the mattress, and I’m lost to the electric pleasure zipping through every inch of me.
“Ash, Ash, oh God,” I mumble as my head falls back and my body shakes and trembles, pressed against his.
He tugs my nipple into his mouth before biting down on the pebbled bud, causing my body to spasm as I scream his name so loudly, I’m sure everyone in the hotel will hear.
“God, your pretty pussy feels good milking my cock, Kitten,” he growls, and I feel him thicken, opening me even more. And then heat fills me, over and over again, until his body stills above mine.
I open my eyes and look directly into those darkened blue pools, and even though they’re filled with calm affection, I’m burnt from the inside out.
I’ve fallen.
I’ve walked right into the inferno.
And there’s no escape for me now.
Ash
Two days have passed since the first time Kat, and I visited Ember in hospital. And even though I didn’t think it was possible, I’ve only become more attached to Katerina.
My heart hurts the most at night when I think of losing my brother. But having her body curled against mine offers me solace.
Love is an emotion that guts you when you’re least expecting it. And even though it scares me more than I thought, I’m taking a leap with Kat, and I no longer doubt it. After feeling her around me, her warmth, and her pleasure, I’m a man addicted.
“You know,” Ember tells me, “I think you’re in love, but you’re too afraid to admit it.” My brother grins, and even though it makes me smile, the sadness in my heart is ever present.
He’s getting weaker each day. His face is hollow, the dark circles under his eyes are more prominent, and I fear it won’t be long now. I can’t bear to see him like this, to watch him wither away, but I have to be here. I need to be.
“Perhaps I am, brother,” I admit. “But how can I know for sure if she loves me?”
His green eyes aren’t as bright as they used to be. He’s not going to be beside me forever, not like we’d always promised each other.
“Real love isn’t about fear; it’s about trusting in each other. I understand you’re worried she’ll decide it’s merely a passing phase, but you have to take a chance. Or you’ll regret it forever.”
“How can you be so sure?” Ember has always been an old soul. Far more mature than me, he would be the one to offer advice even when I didn’t take it, and I knew he was right.
“Do you remember what Mom told us about when she met Dad?” He questions, but before I can respond, he continues. “They had split for two long years before she finally relented and gave him an ultimatum; no more partying if he wanted her.”
I nod. “Yeah, I remember. And the bastard did stop.” I chuckle, recalling the night. We were still quite young. It’s strange how you can remember things that happened so long ago.
“Katerina is yours; she was made for you,” Ember insists, squeezing my hand. His fingers are bony. His body is slowly giving up. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll have my brother with me, but I’ve spent every day here with him, talking about the times we were young and carefree. “I hate you for leaving me.”
“You don’t hate me; you’re just angry,” he responds with clarity. “When we lose people we love, we get mad, and you tend to go off the rails at times. Remember that in the future, when you and Kat have a fight. Give her time.”
“How do you know I’ll stay true to her?”
“Because you’re my twin. I know everything there is to know about your sorry ass,” he bites out, but it’s no longer filled with fire. His flames are dimming, and I don’t know if I can bear to watch them flicker out.
“You’re an asshole, brother.” I smile. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he tells me, and I notice the shimmer of emotion on his lashes. He looks just like our mother. “Now, go to your girl. And remember what I said.”
“You better be here tomorrow to make sure she’s not scared off by my stupid admission,” I warn him before planting a kiss on his forehead. It’s so clammy. I close my eyes for a moment, and for the first time in my life, I pray. I don’t know who can hear me, but I ask for a little more time. Just a bit more.
“You know it.”
After I leave the hospital, I drive in silence through the dark roads. I dropped Kat at home earlier because she had homework to complete, and she’s studying for a test. I want to take her somewhere special tonight, and I hope she’s finished up all her work.
If I’m finally going to utter those three words properly—not us arguing, or her being angry at me, I want it to be perfect.
And I know it will be.
* * *
I shut the door behind me and make my way through the house into the living room. I find Kat sitting on the sofa, a pen twirling in her mouth, and her hair pinned in a messy bun. She’s the epitome of innocence.
“Hey,” I call, before settling myself behind her.
Her gray eyes meet mine, and they’re bloodshot. “How is Ember? Did he say anything?” she questions. Setting the book down, she bites on the end of the pen as she regards me.
“He said I should take you out this evening,” I inform her with a smile.
“Oh?” She offers me a small grin, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I know she’s worried about him. I am too. I wish it were easier. I wish with everything I have that he could come home, but I know it’s futile.
I pull her into my arms and, like we do each night, we sit in silence. The only sou
nds are the sobs from Kat. I blink back my tears. I need to be strong, even though I don’t feel it. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I hold her close.
“There’s something I need to say,” I tell her.
Kat shifts so she’s on my lap. Her hands grip my shirt, and she watches me with wide, doe eyes. “Please don’t tell me it’s something bad.”
“I love you.” The words fall with ease from my lips, and her mouth drops open in surprise. I can’t believe I just blurted that shit out. It was meant to be special. I’ve fucked it up again.
“Ash, I—”
The shrill ringing of my cell phone interrupts her, and I pull it from my pocket. The number on screen makes my heart lurch in my chest.
“Mr. Addington,” the doctor utters, “I think it’s best you come to the hospital.”
Katerina
Ember doesn’t look well. His body is fighting a losing battle, and so is my heart.
When I first met them, I didn’t know if I could ever choose between the two men who sauntered into my life and offered me everything I’d ever wanted. Now I’m watching, through the thick pane of glass, from a distance, as an outsider.
As if he can feel my eyes on him, Ash turns to regard me. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days, weeks even. He rises, giving his brother a kiss on the forehead before he turns and makes his way to the door.
The moment Ash steps out of the room to where I wait in the corridor, I fall into his arms. I don’t know where they come from, but tears trickle down my cheeks. The emotions I’ve been holding onto in these past few hours are breaking free, and I can’t stop them.
Ash’s arms are warm, cocooning me, but this time, they can’t stop the pain. His affectionate hold is all that’s keeping me from falling to the ground.
“I’m so sorry,” I mumble into his shirt. I’ve soaked the material. I know he doesn’t mind, but I do so I pull away. “I’m—”
“You shouldn’t be sorry. There was no way of telling with how Ember is,” he says. “I think he’d be glad to see you if you’d like to come inside.” Ashton leans in close, pressing his lips to the top of my head.