He knocked on the door and waited. He knew Tina wouldn’t be home from work yet, so it was the perfect time to gather information and plan his attack.
Logan answered the door with a raised eyebrow.
“Where in the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you for the last three days.” He pulled his buddy inside and hugged him.
Riley grimaced and pulled away. What in the hell was up with Logan?
“What’s up? I’ve been on the road on my way here.”
“Jenna’s at the doctor’s,” Logan blurted out.
Riley felt his heart sink. Something was seriously wrong with her. He should have come back sooner.
“What’s wrong with her? Is she okay?” He grabbed for the door. “Where is she?”
“Whoa,” Logan said, pushing the door closed. “You’re going to have to talk to Jenna about that, but she’s okay.”
“What in the hell did you scare me for if she’s okay?” Riley dropped his hand from the door knob.
“Just aggravated that you didn’t answer your damn cell phone.”
“Well, hell. I’m not Tina and at your beck and call.”
Logan burst out laughing. Riley eyed him with a frown. What was up with him?
“How about some coffee while we wait on the girls to get back?”
“Good, Tina is with her.” Riley relaxed some.
Tina being with her meant she wasn’t alone, and that was good.
“Yeah, coffee would be great,” he said.
“You’re looking a little worse for wear. You look road hard and put up wet,” Logan observed.
“Yeah, screw you. How is she really? Is she, ah, seeing anyone?” Riley asked, not looking at his buddy.
“She’s okay. She’s lost a lot of weight and has been sick, but she’s going to be fine.” Logan finished setting up the coffee pot and turned around. “And no, she’s not seeing anyone. Does this mean you’re thinking about sticking around for awhile this time?”
“If she’ll have me, I’m planning on asking her if she’ll let me stay permanently.”
“You’re going to ask her to marry you?” Logan asked, crossing his arms.
“Well, not right away. I, ah, wanted to have a job and all first.”
Hell, he didn’t want to have a conversation like this with Logan. Trust his friend to cut to the chase.
“I think you need to re-think that part.”
“What part? Asking her to marry me? Why? Do you think she’ll say no?”
“No, I mean I think you ought to ask her now.”
“What’s going on, Riley? Is she or isn’t she okay?”
Logan huffed out a breath.
“Fuck. She’s pregnant, Riley.”
Riley took a step back as if Logan had delivered a physical blow. Pregnant? She was pregnant?
“You’re sure?”
“That’s why she’s at the doctor’s. She hasn’t been able to keep anything down and has lost a lot of weight.”
“Why hasn’t she told me before now? She has to be at least three months. I’ve been gone that long.” Riley’s world tilted at the news.
“She just told us. I think she’s been in shock. That’s why I’ve been trying to call you. She wanted to talk to you,” Logan said.
“Oh, hell. What am I going to do? I don’t have a job to take care of her.”
“She has a job. Right now, what she needs is your support, man.”
A car pulled into the drive. Riley looked over at Logan with a sinking feeling. They were back, and he didn’t have a clue what to say to Jenna. He waited for them to come in. They sat in the car for a long time. He realized that Jenna would have noticed his bike in the drive. She didn’t want to come in. That thought hurt.
Finally, he heard the car doors close, first one and then the other. Logan patted him on the shoulder and handed him a cup of coffee. When the door opened, Tina entered first. She stood aside, and Jenna walked in.
He almost wouldn’t have recognized her. She’d lost a lot of weight. Her clothes sagged on her, and there were deep shadows under her eyes. He couldn’t keep his gaze from dropping to her belly where his child would be. When he raised his eyes to meet hers, there were tears in them. She turned toward Logan and shot him a dirty look.
“You told him.”
* * * *
Jenna knew the moment his eyes dropped to her abdomen that Logan had told him she was pregnant. Now she would never know how he really felt about her. He looked stricken. Of course he would be shocked. Appalled maybe? Dear God, what would she do if he asked her to marry him now?
“Logan, why did you?” Tina asked quietly.
“He was making himself crazy thinking there was something seriously wrong with Jenna. I had to tell him something.” Logan crossed over to Jenna and hugged her. “Aw, hell, Jenna. I’m sorry. It should have come from you.”
“It’s okay.” Only it wasn’t.
“I think Riley and I have some things to discuss. Maybe we should leave now.” Jenna avoided Riley’s eyes. “That is if Riley will give me a lift home.”
“Is it safe for you to ride a bike?” he blurted out.
“Yeah, it’s safe.” She almost smiled at that.
“Let’s go then.” He walked across the room then seemed to remember he had a cup of coffee and handed it back to Logan.
Logan chuckled, and it earned him a scathing look. Jenna rolled her lips inward to keep from grinning. Then she sobered. They had a lot of serious ground to cover.
“Jenna, call me later, okay?” Tina said.
“Okay.”
Riley opened the door for her and led her to the bike. He pulled out a helmet from the saddle bag and instead of handing it to her, placed it carefully on her head and fastened it for her. Then he climbed on the bike and started it up. Jenna climbed on back and held loosely to his waist.
“Hold on.”
He started off slow and easy then sped up as they left the drive. She realized they were going to have some trouble by the time he finally pulled into her drive long minutes later. He’d driven slow and careful the entire way. He held the bike steady while she climbed off the bike.
Jenna didn’t wait for him. She hurried up to the door and unlocked it. Nerves tickled her spine, and butterflies danced in her stomach. She could almost attribute it to the baby but decided it was all her discomfort now that Riley was actually there in her house.
“Um, can I fix you something to drink?” she asked once he’d closed the door behind him.
“No, thanks. Do you need something? Go ahead and fix yourself whatever you need.” He jammed his hands in his pockets as if he didn’t know what to do with them.
This wasn’t like Riley at all. She was used to his self-assured attitude. The fact that she was pregnant had floored him obviously. Maybe they should put off this talk until he had time to process it and what he wanted to do. There was no doubt what she was going to do. She was having the baby, and if he wanted to be a part of it, that was fine.
“How far along are you?” he finally asked.
“The doctor said fourteen to fifteen weeks.”
“What did he say about your weight loss?” Riley took a step forward, pulling his hands out of his pocket.
“I need to gain a little before my next visit,” she hedged.
“Somehow I expect that’s not exactly what he said.”
Jenna glimpsed the old Riley she was used to now. She much preferred this Riley.
“You’ve lost way too much weight, Jenna. It can’t be healthy.”
“I’ll start gaining again. I need to get past the morning sickness is all.”
As if suddenly realizing she was standing up, he walked over to her and touched her voluntarily for the first time. His hand took her arm and pulled her toward the couch.
“You need to sit down.”
Jenna suppressed a smile but did what he said. Why was he back? It suddenly occurred to her that Logan hadn’t been able to get in touch wit
h him, but he was there.
“Why did you come back, Riley?” she asked.
“I couldn’t stay away.” He took a deep breath. “I came back to ask you to marry me.”
Jenna burst out crying. This was exactly what she had been afraid of.
“What’s wrong?” Riley patted her shoulder, a desperate look on his face.
“It’s just hormones,” she managed around sobs. “I cry at the drop of a hat now.”
“No, you started crying because I asked you to marry me,” Riley said.
“You only did it because I’m pregnant. I won’t marry you like this.” Jenna swallowed and attempted to control the tears.
Riley jumped up and grabbed a box of tissues and handed them to her. He paced for a few seconds then turned around to face her.
“That is why I came back, but I can see where you wouldn’t believe me with the way I left you and all.”
“You can be a part of the baby’s life and even live here if you want to, but I won’t marry you just because I’m pregnant. I don’t think you would have asked me otherwise.”
“Baby, I’ve missed you so much and regret ever leaving you. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I know now I was wrong. I can’t live without you.”
“I wish I could believe you, Riley, but I just can’t. Maybe after the baby’s born, if you are still around, we can talk about it again.” She swallowed and stood up.
She needed something to drink. Her mouth was dry, and the tears had drained her. If he wanted to stay, she wouldn’t be able to resist him if he pushed it. She’d be back in bed with him in a New York second. She loved him, but she wouldn’t marry him.
“What do you need? I’ll get it for you,” he said.
“I can get it. I just want something to drink. Then I need a nap. I’m tired, Riley.”
“I’ll get you something to drink. Go lie down.” He was already walking toward the kitchen.
Jenna closed her eyes for a second and shook her head. He would be bossy, maybe even bossier than he had been before. And she loved him for it.
* * * *
Riley opened the refrigerator door and sighed. There was a half gallon of milk, a pitcher of water, and some cheese and butter, but that was all. No wonder she had lost weight. There was nothing to eat. He didn’t know much about pregnancy, but he knew she needed fresh fruit and vegetables. He checked the milk and finding it good, poured a glass. He carried it to the bedroom where Jenna lay stretched out on the bed on her side.
“I brought you some milk. I’m sure it’s good for you,” he said.
He didn’t mention her lack of food. He didn’t want to upset her. Another thing he was sure of was that she shouldn’t get upset. If she were crying all the time, that would be difficult to stop, he surmised.
“Thanks. Water would have been fine.”
She rose up on her elbow. He held the glass for her. She frowned at him, so he relinquished it to her. She took a few sips then started to put it on the nightstand.
“Whoa, that’s not enough. You’re going to drink at least half of it,” he admonished.
“Don’t get bossy with me,” she said, but she drank a few more swallows.
“I’ll put it back in the fridge.”
He returned a few minutes later and took off his boots. He was going to hold her while she slept. He hoped she wouldn’t balk at the idea, but he had missed her so much.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m going to rest awhile with you. I’ve missed you, Jenna. I want to hold you.” He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed into her startled eyes.
Jenna moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue and nodded. He let out a soft sigh of relief. He needed this. The bed sank as he rolled over to curl around her. She didn’t balk when he placed a hand over her abdomen. To think that their child rested there. It amazed him to even consider it. It humbled him to contemplate the huge responsibility their having a child entailed.
“Riley?”
“Yes, baby?” he answered.
“How are we going to do this?” she asked
“Do what?” He was almost afraid of her answer.
“Live. The two of us and a baby?”
Riley closed his eyes and relaxed. She was including him.
“One day at a time, Jenna. One day at a time.”
This seemed to settle her since she relaxed, as well. He rested on his elbow so he could see her face and where his hand cupped her abdomen. Slowly, her facial features smoothed out, and the frown lines disappeared. Once he sensed she was asleep, Riley carefully rolled out of the bed and padded into the living room, carrying his boots. After pulling them back on, he wrote a note telling Jenna he was going grocery shopping. Leaving it on the kitchen counter where she could see it, he borrowed her key to the house, the one he had left that day three months before, and locked the door behind him. He rolled his bike to the end of the drive before cranking it up in an effort not to wake her.
Nearly an hour later, he was back with two bags of groceries. He hadn’t been able to fit much in his saddlebags even without the spare helmet. He had enough for a couple of days. They would go shopping together on Saturday and use her car. It was important that she keep food on hand, and he would assure she did. He was appointing himself her personal caretaker.
Riley planned to cook baked chicken with steamed vegetables and rolls. He’d also picked a few oranges and bananas for her. He had feared for the safety of the bananas, but they fared well on the ride back.
When he checked the door, he found it unlocked. His heart leapt in his throat that someone could be in the house with Jenna. He flung the door open only to find her reclining on the couch reading a magazine.
“Why is the door unlocked?” he all but demanded.
“I heard you ride up, so I unlocked it for you.” She frowned at him. “Don’t go getting bossy on me.”
“Get used to it. I’m going to boss you nonstop,” he said as he carried the bags through the living room and into the kitchen.
Jenna followed him and took a seat on one of the bar stools. “What did you get?”
“Food, of which you had none in the house. No wonder you’ve lost so much weight, Jenna. Are you trying to starve yourself?” He cringed. So much for not upsetting her.
Jenna’s brows furrowed as anger replaced the curious look from earlier.
“I haven’t been hungry, and when I am, I eat. Forcing something down my throat only makes the nausea worse,” she complained.
“Well, you’re going to get healthy food from now on. I’ll make sure you have what you need. All you have to do is eat it.”
They stared at each other, each as stubborn as the other. Finally, Jenna huffed out a breath and shook her head.
“I just haven’t felt like shopping, Riley. Thanks for getting the groceries.”
He relaxed and smiled at her from across the bar.
“We need to go in your car next time. I couldn’t fit more than a couple of days’ worth of food in the bike. I figured we would go Saturday when you feel up to it.” Riley reached across the bar and brushed his knuckles across her cheek.
Jenna nodded. “I’m usually okay by about nine. Until then, I wouldn’t be able to stomach the idea of food much less shop for it.”
Riley turned to the sink and washed the chicken breasts under the faucet.
“I’m cooking baked chicken and steamed veggies. Does that sound okay to you?” He asked.
“Yeah, right now it does. I never know, though, until I start to eat how it will go down.”
“This will go down great because I’m cooking it.”
A great weight lifted at the tinkling sound of her laughter. The sound lightened his heart. It had been heavy ever since he realized how sick she had been.
“Pretty confident in your cooking skills, are you?” Jenna watched as he prepared the chicken.
“I can cook a few things or at least enough not to starve. I think I can handle a
few meals for you.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
He stopped what he was doing and frowned at her. “Sorry for what?”
“For complicating your life so much. I’ve been a constant burden ever since you met me.”
Riley wiped his hands on a cloth and walked around the island to stand in front of her. He pulled her into his arms. It had never occurred to him that she would see herself as a burden.
“You’re not a problem to be endured, Jenna. You’re a woman who’s had a rough life. None of it was your fault.” He leaned back and brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. “And as for complicating my life, it’s a good complication. You’re giving me a child. I honestly never thought to have one.”
Jenna sighed. “And now I’ve taken the decision out of your hands.”
“Let’s get one thing straight here. I’m the one who didn’t use a condom. You were on birth control. It wasn’t your fault it didn’t work.”
“The doctor said it was because of all the antibiotics I had been on. It weakened the pills,” she explained.
“See. It wasn’t your fault. Now go read or watch TV or something while I cook. I’ll come get you when it’s ready.” Riley kissed the top of her head and helped her down from the stool.
He watched as she walked into the other room. She had thought he would blame her for getting pregnant. He didn’t blame her. Hell, he didn’t even blame himself though clearly the blame rested on him. The thought of a child with her eyes warmed him. He’d never considered settling down and having children. Something inside him thought he’d wander from place to place the rest of his life. Settling down seemed to be out of his reach.
The early part of his life had been spent in foster care, and he’d never stayed in one longer than a few months. He fumed. No child of his would ever feel unloved or alone. He knew Jenna would love and care for their child with all her heart. He would make sure she had everything she needed to be happy. Somehow, he would be there for her no matter what. Time would tell how he handled being in one place. Right now, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
In The Still of the Night [The Protectors 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 21