Wife, Mother...Lover?

by Sally Tyler Hayes

  The boy’s eyes were as dark as the wisps of hair on his head. He smiled, showing off two baby teeth on top and none on the bottom, as he skidded to a stop in front of Leanne.

  “Da!” He looked confused for a minute, then demanded, “Da!”

  “Sorry, darling. I’m not your daddy.” Leanne looked to the blond-haired princess. “This isn’t Teddy, is it?”

  “No, dat’s my bwudder.” She rolled her eyes in disgust. “Will. He’s so much trouble. He gets into ev‘rythin’. We just chase him and chase him. Mommy says that’s all we can do, ‘cause he don’t know nothin’. He’s just a baby.”

  “Oh, I see. He does look like he could cause an awful lot of trouble.”

  Will seemed to be considering charging the door, to see if he could get around Leanne and make it outside. Princess Hannah, a little mother herself, took him by the hand and tried to turn him around.

  “C’m’on, Will. We can’t go out now.”

  He gave a grunt that sounded like an indignant “Out!” but Hannah held on tight.

  From around the corner came an attractive blond-haired woman, in her late twenties perhaps. She had another little boy in her arms. This one had a sandy blond head pressed against the woman’s chest, and he appeared to be a little older than Will.

  “Oh.” Leanne felt the air rush out of her lungs at the sight of that little, turned-up nose, the impossibly long lashes, the curve of those lips. This, Leanne knew, was Teddy.

  Leanne offered her hand to the woman, who had a cloth diaper draped over her shoulder and was carrying a baby bottle in one hand, the little boy in the other.

  “Hi, I’m Leanne Hathaway,” she said.

  “Of course. Kelly’s world-traveling sister.” The woman juggled the bottle and put out a hand. “I should have introduced myself to you earlier on the phone. I’m Ginny. My husband, Marc, is Mitch’s partner, and we live across the street.”

  “Oh, of course. Kelly...” Leanne stumbled over the words. Kelly had mentioned becoming good friends with Mitch’s partner’s wife. “My sister said you were very kind.”

  “So was she. I miss her very much. We all do.” Ginny had tears in her eyes, which she quickly blinked away.. “Hannah and Will are mine. And this—” she turned sideways, bringing into full view the face of the sleeping boy snuggled so tightly against her “—is Teddy.”

  “Oh.” Leanne had to catch her breath all over again. “He looks so much like Kelly.”

  “I know. And Timmy is Mitch all over again, yet the boys still resemble each other so much.” Ginny shifted the boy in her arms. “Do you want to hold him?”

  “Yes, please.” Leanne closed her eyes as the sleeping toddler snuggled against her. He was warm and soft, his body seemingly boneless as he draped himself against her.

  She put her face against his head and breathed in his clean scent.

  Ginny laughed. “It’s wonderful, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you been to the hospital?” she asked.

  Leanne nodded again. “Timmy’s going to be fine, but he’s getting a few stitches. I told Mitch I’d stay here with Teddy until he and Timmy get home.”

  “Good. You can hold Teddy while I clean up a bit. The last thing Mitch needs is to come home to a mess tonight.”

  Leanne watched the chaos of the house give way to some semblance of order, watched Princess Hannah try her best to boss her brother around, watched Will career from one near disaster to the next as he ran from one end of the house to the other with more energy than any ten children should have. Ginny, smiling and laughing through it all, seemed to be in her element.

  Leanne sat there holding Teddy close and kept thinking that it should have been Kelly who was sitting on this couch, talking to her friend, seeing her children grow up. This was everything her sister was missing, everything she’d been denied.

  Finally, when the worst of the mess was gone, Ginny sat down and said, “So where have you been this time?”

  “Australia. The outback.”

  “It must be fascinating to travel like that.”

  “At times,” Leanne said noncommittally.

  Leanne’s first impression of this woman was that she was indeed very kind and caring, that she missed Kelly and knew Mitch and the boys well. She must know what Mitch was considering.

  “I was wondering about something,” Leanne said, choosing to confide in this woman.

  “Yes?”

  “About Mitch?” God, this was so awkward. “He’s upset, I know. But at the hospital he said he was thinking of—”

  “Hannah?” Ginny cut her off and turned to her daughter. “Would you take Will into the kitchen? The cookies we brought over are on a plate on the table. You can have one each.”

  Hannah dutifully took her brother by the arm, and he perked up as she repeated the word “cookie” to him.

  “Sorry.” Ginny turned back to Leanne. “I didn’t want Hannah to hear what I was afraid you were going to say.”

  “Mitch is thinking about giving them up.” Leanne looked down at Teddy, sleeping quietly against her shoulder, as the words slipped out. “I don’t understand how he could do that.”

  Ginny sat down on the sofa, but kept one eye on the kitchen and her children. “I’d like to believe that Mitch couldn’t actually do it. But I worry that he’s reached the point where he believes that might be best for the boys.”

  “But they’re his children. They’re all he has left of Kelly.”

  “I know, but he’s been under so much pressure ever since Kelly died. You don’t have children, do you?”

  “No.” But once it had felt as if Kelly, Amy and Alex were her own.

  “Raising one baby is hard enough, but twins... Mitch is raising twins by himself, with a full-time job that’s incredibly stressful and comes with long, irregular hours. He’s exhausted. And worried. And still trying to deal with Kelly’s death. Now that Rena’s been—” Ginny broke off. “Sorry. I know she’s your mother.”

  “Stepmother,” Leanne corrected her.

  Understanding, Ginny nodded. “That woman has really done a number on Mitch.”

  “Rena’s specialty,” Leanne said, remembering when she’d been the target of her stepmother’s manipulations. “She’s trying to convince Mitch to give up the boys?”

  “Yes. Rena wants to raise them herself.”

  “Oh, no.” Leanne cried. “Mitch can’t let her have them. I won’t let him do that.”

  “Then it’s a good thing you’re here.”

  It was after nine when Mitch arrived at home with Timmy in his arms. As he reached for the doorknob, the door swung inward.

  “How is he?” Leanne asked as she stood in the doorway.

  “Tired. He slept all the way home.” Mitch walked inside and found his house was neat and tidy for a change. Despite his best efforts these days, the place was usually cluttered at best. Some wonderful smell coming from the kitchen reminded him that he hadn’t eaten dinner and that he was hungry. “How’s Teddy?”

  “Worried about Timmy, I think. Does he call Timmy ‘Tee’?”

  “They call each other ‘Tee.’” Mitch managed to smile at that particular quirk. “It takes some getting used to.”

  “Well, I promised Teddy that Timmy would be here when he woke up. I gave him a bath, dressed him in his Batman pajamas and read him three stories. By then he was so tired he went right to sleep.”

  “Thank you,” Mitch said.

  It grated on his pride that he needed help, but losing Kelly and trying to raise two little boys alone had taught him to grit his teeth and take what help was offered.

  He watched his sister-in-law. No doubt, she expected an explanation of why he would ever consider giving up his children.

  If Leanne had been there the past sixteen months, struggling as he had to do what was best for the twins, what would she think was in the boys’ best interests? Mitch wondered. Maybe later, he would ask her.

  “I’m going to put
Timmy down,” he said, turning and heading for the stairs. “Then we can talk.”

  “I made a casserole,” she said. “If you’re hungry.”

  He paused on the landing where the stairway curved at a ninety-degree angle, and looked down at this woman he’d never quite understood. They’d gone to the same high school, graduated in the same class, though he barely remembered her from then.

  Later, he’d watched as Kelly had cried herself to sleep more than once after one of those rare visits from her sister, when the distance between them had seemed unbreachable.

  In many respects, Leanne had been a mother to Kelly, until Leanne had turned her back on her whole family for a scholarship to a fancy Boston college and a job that took her all over the world. Mitch couldn’t fault her for wanting an education or a job. But she could have made time for Kelly and her siblings.

  In the end, Kelly might have come to forgive her sister for hurting her that way, but Mitch hadn’t.

  “Mitch?” Leanne said.

  “Sorry.” He’d been lost in thought. “I am hungry.”

  “I’ll set the table.”

  And then he forgot about his sister-in-law as he slipped up the stairs and into a room at the end of the hall. It boasted two cribs, but the boys used only one. Although they were big enough now that they were crowded in the one crib, they still didn’t like sleeping apart. In the morning, Mitch usually found them snuggled against each other, usually Timmy pressed against Teddy, who was often scrunched in the corner against the padded rails.

  It looked uncomfortable, but the boys didn’t seem to mind. Every time he tried to separate them for the night, no one got any sleep. Mitch didn’t, either. The boys would stand in their respective cribs, hang on to the railing and jump in protest. They’d hold their arms through the rails, reaching for each other and fussing until he gave in and put them both in the same crib. It was a moot point now that they’d learned to climb out of their cribs.

  Tonight, Teddy was already snuggled into his corner. Deciding they could both use the comfort of each other, Mitch put Timmy down right beside his brother. Timmy barely stirred, and Teddy just sighed and rolled over, toward his brother.

  In sleep, they were incredibly peaceful, looking like angels. Awake, they were like two small tornadoes, incredibly fast, totally unpredictable, wreaking havoc wherever they went.

  And he loved them so much it hurt.

  He would do anything for them.

  Tired to the bone, Mitch walked into his bathroom, stripped and stepped into the shower while the water was still running cold. It helped to wake him up, to clear is head.

  He had no idea what he was going to say to Kelly’s sister. As he hurriedly dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, he thought again about what she’d said—that she would take the boys.

  He couldn’t believe for a minute that she meant it. After all, Leanne didn’t know how to stay in one place. He knew because Kelly had subscribed to the magazines Leanne contributed to on a regular basis; he’d watched while Kelly studied them for her sister’s photo credit and told him of the places Leanne had been.

  Had Kelly been wondering what her sister found in those far-off places that she couldn’t find at home? Or had Kelly envied her sister for getting to travel all over the world? Mitch had promised to take Kelly to some of those places someday. Of course, someday hadn’t come soon enough for her.

  “Damn.” Mitch sat down on the side of the bed, leaned forward and put his head in his hands for a minute.

  Missing his wife was like being ravenously hungry when there was nothing to satisfy his appetite. There was a hole inside him, and nothing could fill it. He feared nothing ever would.

  The suggestion Marc had made at the hospital was ludicrous.

  He needed a wife?

  As far as Mitch was concerned, he still had a wife. He just couldn’t see her, except when he closed his eyes. He couldn’t touch her, smell her or taste her, unless he was caught somewhere deep in sleep. Then she was gloriously real, if only for a few moments. He couldn’t feel her close to him except in these brief snatches of time when he thought he was either losing his mind or being given some incredible gift.

  Still, Mitch didn’t want any other woman.

  When the shower shut off, Leanne pulled the casserole out of the oven, then sat down at the small table in the corner to wait.

  Finally, Mitch, wearing faded gray sweatpants and a snug-fitting T-shirt, his hair still wet from the shower, appeared in the doorway. Leanne looked away, thinking there was something much too intimate about being here this late at night with a man still wet and clean-smelling from the shower. Especially a man as attractive to her as this one had always been.

  She thought it was the height of injustice that she’d always found Mitch McCarthy attractive, that from the time she’d been a shy, introverted girl of fifteen and she’d first seen him in the hallways at school, he’d left her absolutely breathless.

  He looked over the meal set out on the table. “You didn’t have to do this,” he said.

  It was almost as if he hated the fact that she had, she thought. “It was no trouble, really.” She couldn’t figure out exactly what she’d done wrong, except that maybe he didn’t want to be put in the position of sharing a meal with her. And he couldn’t very well kick her out after she’d made dinner. He was stuck with her, at least for the next twenty minutes or so.

  Mitch sat down opposite Leanne at the table, which seemed to shrink in size now that he was sitting there. She dished out a helping of the steaming chicken casserole to him, then herself, and Mitch passed her a basket of rolls.

  The two of them ate in near silence, Mitch taking three servings of the dish before he finished. In response to her questions, he told her quite succinctly that her brilliant brother, at twenty-two, was close to finishing his Ph.D. in Chemistry, that Amy seemed very happy with her fiancé, that the boys had been walking for only two months and were still quite wobbly on their feet.

  When they finished eating, Mitch helped her clear the table and load the dishwasher—something that had her working hard to avoid brushing up against him in the small, narrow kitchen. Then there was nothing left to do but talk.

  “I’m going to have a beer,” he said. “Would you like one?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “There’s probably some wine around here somewhere.... ”

  “No, really. One drink is probably all it would take to put me to sleep.”

  He glanced at the clock on the stove and Leanne did the same. It was shortly after nine here.

  “I was in Australia yesterday,” she said. “Or was it today? I always get confused when I cross that many time zones. And my body has no idea what time it really is.”

  “Oh.”

  “I came as soon as I got Amy’s message.” She pulled a business card out of her pocket with all sorts of phone numbers, then underlined one. “Mitch, if you ever really need me, call my agent. He always knows where to find me. It may take a few days to get word to me and a few more days for me to get back, but I will come.”

  He took the card, but looked wary of her offer. He would never use that number, she decided. Nevertheless, she told him, “I wish you had called me.”

  Mitch popped the top of his beer and motioned for her to follow him into the living room. “I’ve called just about everybody I know for help with the boys from time to time. Between the family I have in town and yours, there’s almost always someone who’s willing to take them for a day or two.”

  “Then what is the problem?”

  “They need someone who’s going to be here every day. Not for a few weeks or a few months.” Mitch took the chair in the corner and left her with the couch. “As soon as they get used to one person, she leaves and we have to start all over again.”

  Leanne said, “So you just haven’t found the right person.”

  “I don’t know that I’m ever going to find the right person. I don’t know if that person exists. There
aren’t a lot of people willing or able to take care of two energetic little boys all day, especially not for what I can afford to pay.”

  “I have money, if that’s what you need.” She watched as color flooded his face, and knew that she’d offended him. “For the boys. You’d take it for them.”

  “Maybe.” His gaze, challenging and questioning, locked on hers. “If I thought money was the answer. But even that won’t solve the problem. Just look at what happened today.”

  Leanne had wondered about that.

  “Our sixth sitter—”

  “Sixth?”

  “Yes, sixth.”

  That was an average of one new person every two and a half months. Leanne could imagine how the boys had reacted to that.

  “She took off Friday to go to Iowa,” Mitch explained. “Her daughter, who’s pregnant, just found out she needs to spend the next six weeks in bed if she’s going to carry her baby to term. And this daughter already has a two-year-old.

  “I was scrambling all weekend to find someone. I ended up with this nineteen-year-old, the daughter of a friend of a friend, who obviously couldn’t handle the boys. I planned to replace her as soon as I found someone else, but before I could do that, my son ended up with four stitches in his forehead.”

  “Mitch, kids get hurt. It happens.”

  “If the cut had been a little lower, Timmy might have lost his eye,” he said grimly.

  “Oh.” She hadn’t realized that.

  “The whole time I was sitting in the hospital, I was asking myself what could happen the next time I brought in someone at the last minute to watch them.” Mitch pushed a hand through his hair impatiently and glanced at the clock. “Look at the time. I have to be at work in less than ten hours, and I have no idea who’s going to take care of the boys tomorrow.”

  “I will,” she offered.

  He was surprised. “You think you can handle them?”

  “Alex was two when our mother died, Mitch. I know what it’s like to take care of a child that age.”

  “You don’t have to,” he said, instead.