The Art of Wag

by Susan C. Daffron

  Tracy picked up Roxy and clipped on her leash. “Let’s go.” She turned the dog’s head toward her face. “I’m not happy with you, little dog.”

  After a short walk, they returned to the apartment. Tracy decided to put Roxy in a “time-out” in the crate while she put her pots and pans back in the cabinets. Again.

  Rob handed her a saucepan. “It does look a lot better in here. The floor is even clean.”

  “I couldn’t sleep after you left.”

  He put a frying pan on the counter and took her in his arms. “I missed you.”

  She looked into his eyes, took off his glasses, and put them on the counter. “I missed you too. After spending so much time together, it just felt strange not being with you all of a sudden.”

  “I know.” He kissed her lips, then her earlobe, and whispered, “I couldn’t sleep either. You’ll be happy to hear that room 2 at the H12 is a lot cleaner now too.”

  A knock at the door triggered frantic barking from Roxy and startled Tracy out of her dreamy languor. Rob leaped away from her, looking disturbed. She smiled at his expression. “That sure killed the mood. But it could be the new futon!”

  Tracy let in two burly men in blue coveralls who took away the old couch and plunked the new futon down in its place. After they left, Tracy grabbed both of Rob’s hands and took a few steps back across the floor, dragging him to the futon. She fell backward onto it, and although he made a valiant effort not to crash-land and crush her, she pulled him down on top of her anyway. “I think we need to try this out. How do you feel about leaving the H12 and staying here?”

  He kissed her. “Maybe I’ll grab some supplies from the basket in the lobby when I check out.”

  The next morning when Tracy opened her eyes, Rob was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow, with his head resting on his hand. He was looking down into her face and stroking her upper arm with his fingertips. She gave him a drowsy smile. “Are you watching me sleep? That’s kind of like watching grass grow, isn’t it?”

  “You just looked so beautiful and peaceful lying there. I got up earlier and turned off the alarm.” He kissed her. “This seemed like a nicer way to wake up.”

  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him again. “No arguments there. Best morning ever.” She looked over at the clock. “I’m not even late for work for a change. But I should get up and take a shower.” She snuggled up closer to his body. “Not that I want to leave this cocoon of warmth you’ve got going here.”

  “You have the smallest shower I’ve ever seen.”

  “I know. I told my mother it’s like it was designed for dwarves. Then she called me Grumpy. Ha-ha, Mom.”

  Rob laughed. “Your mother is great. I was thinking that after you get off work, maybe we should stop by the store and let her know that I’m here, so she doesn’t think I’m a crook or something.”

  Tracy sat up and stretched. “Yeah, you could be the thief who stole my thiry-year-old broken couch.”

  He pulled her back down to him. “Have I mentioned that I really like the new futon?”

  She giggled. “Many times.”

  Later at the vet clinic, Tracy was sitting at the front desk surveying the afternoon appointments in the book. The bells on the door jangled and Kat walked in with a little brown-and-white dog who looked extremely unhappy. The dog’s brown eyes were wide and when Kat stopped at the desk, the dog laid down on the floor, trembling.

  “Hi Kat. Thanks for letting me reschedule Chelsey for today.” Tracy looked down at the book. “So she’s getting a rabies shot?”

  Kat nodded and crouched down next to the dog. “Yes. I know we’re a little early, but I wasn’t sure how difficult it would be to get her out of the house.” She stroked the dog’s head. “It’s really no big deal, Chelsey. We’ll be in and out in five minutes.”

  Chelsey didn’t look convinced and started crawling toward the closest chair. Kat shook her head at Tracy. “We’ll just be waiting over here.”

  “Okay. Let me go get Dr. C.”

  Dr. Cassidy came out into the lobby and peered under the chair. “Hi Chelsey. How’s it going? You were just a youngster the last time I saw you.”

  “I know. She needs a rabies shot,” Kat said.

  “She doesn’t bite, does she?”

  Kat shook her head. “Not that I know of. She’s actually a really sweet dog. A little shy, maybe. I think she just worries a lot.”

  The vet stood up. “Maybe we can just do the exam and vaccination here. I have to finish something up first, then I’ll be right back.”

  Chelsey scuttled farther back toward the wall. Kat sat down on the floor and looked up at Tracy. “Could you lift the chair up and put it somewhere else? I’ll just sit with her down here so she doesn’t crawl under some other piece of furniture. She’s an amazingly fast crawler.”

  Tracy sat down on the floor across from Kat and put a hand on Chelsey’s back. “The poor thing is shaking like a leaf.”

  “Yeah, I feel terrible dragging her here. But she needs her shots. My aunt Abigail kept all the vet records for the animals. And when my mom was here, she organized them. Now they’re all in folders and in alphabetical and chronological order. I’ve never been so organized. But I only had one cat before, so it wasn’t a big deal.”

  Tracy looked down at Chelsey. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Organization is not my strong suit.”

  “So is Rob still around? Did you find out about the web site thing yet?”

  “No. We haven’t. And he’s still here.” Tracy could feel the color rising to her cheeks. “He’s at my apartment, actually.”

  Kat smiled. “That doesn’t surprise me. He seems like a nice person.”

  Tracy leaned across the dog’s back and whispered, “He is. We’ve spent all this time together and he’s easy to talk to and fun to be around. But he’s so not my type. I don’t know what I’m doing with him. Plus he’s leaving in a few days. What is wrong with me? Getting involved with him is stupid, even for me, and I’m not exactly known for my great life choices.”

  Kat rubbed one of Chelsey’s soft ears. “Never argue with matters of the heart. The heart never lies.”

  “That’s kind of profound.”

  Kat shook her head. “Not really. I read it on a greeting card. But it sounded good. I think it’s true though. Falling in love with someone can happen when you aren’t expecting it.” She shrugged. “Or it did for me anyway.”

  “That’s so sweet. But I’m not in love with Rob.” Or was she? She looked down at Chelsey again. “We haven’t known each other that long.”

  “The amount of time doesn’t matter.”

  Tracy stroked the soft reddish fur on Chelsey’s back. “Another greeting card?”

  “No. That was definitely based on experience.”

  The two women and Chelsey looked up as Dr. Cassidy walked back into the waiting area. “I’m sorry for the delay. I had to deal with a cat back there.” She efficiently did a physical exam to make sure everything looked okay and then held up a syringe. “Tracy, could you hold Chelsey’s rear leg for me?”

  Tracy complied and two seconds later the shot was done. Chelsey looked around, seemingly curious what the fuss was about while Dr. Cassidy crouched on the floor and gently continued examining her.

  The vet stood up, put the syringe on the counter, and sat on the chair. She leaned forward and held up another larger syringe with a tube attached to it. “Kat, would it be okay if I do a blood draw? Chelsey reminds me of some other dogs that exhibited odd behavior, and it was because of a thyroid imbalance.”

  Kat looked up. “Is that bad? She’s okay, right? I mean she seems healthy to me.”

  “I’d like to do a thyroid test on her. If she has low thyroid hormones, all you’d need to do is give her a little pill every day. Hypothyroidism is extremely treatable. And if that is actually the problem, she might be happier.”

  “Really? Okay. Yes, that would be great if it would help her.” Kat leaned to hu
g Chelsey. “She always seems so worried about everything.”

  Dr. Cassidy got down on the floor and asked Tracy to hold Chelsey’s front leg. “She might not like this.” She gently stuck the needle into the dog’s leg and looked for a vein. “Just a little prick, Chelsey.” The dog jumped slightly and the vet nodded to Kat. “Scratch the fur on her head to distract her.”

  Kat complied and Chelsey settled down. The vet pulled the needle out and stood up. “All done here. I have to send this out to a special lab in the Midwest, so it will take a few days to get the results back.”

  Kat looked up. “Thanks for doing all this out in the lobby on the floor. I know that’s a little weird.” She patted the dog’s back. “But so is Chelsey.”

  The vet tucked the vial of blood into her lab coat pocket. “Sometimes it’s easier.”

  After Kat and Chelsey left, Tracy thought about what Kat had said. Was she really falling for Rob? It seemed so utterly ridiculous. But he also was by far the most kind-hearted and understanding man she’d ever met. He seemed to just take her foibles in stride in a way no one else ever had. Not to mention that he had talents that went way beyond networking. The thought of last night’s futon fun gave her a little thrill. She looked at the clock. Only forty-five more minutes and she could leave.

  Kat and Chelsey returned to the house amid a tremendous amount of canine excitement. All of the other dogs wanted to find out where Chelsey had been, so there was a lot of sniffing to determine what exactly the little dog had been up to while she was gone. Having had enough of the nosy interrogation, Chelsey retired to her spot under the table for some post-traumatic nap time.

  Joel walked out of his office and bent to peer under the table. “How’s the small weird one?”

  “She’s fine.” Kat walked over and gave him a kiss. “The vet thinks she might have a thyroid problem, so I agreed to an expensive blood test that they’re sending to some special lab. If we could do something to make her happier, it would be worth it.”

  “While you were gone, Maria called.”

  “Really? Is she okay?”

  Joel leaned on the table edge. “I’m not entirely clear on what happened. She was...emotional, I guess you’d say. But I did get two things from the conversation. One: she quit her job.

  Kat squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh no, that can’t be good. What else did she say?”

  “Two: she wants to visit. I said it was fine. So she’s leaving right now. When she called, she was packed and heading out the door.”

  “I can’t believe she finally quit. I hope she’s okay.” Kat put her arms around Joel’s waist. “I’m sorry we’re getting another house guest so soon.”

  “After your mother, any other house guest pales by comparison.” He leaned back to look into her face. “I just have one request: please get Maria to either eat the Twinkies or take them away.”

  Kat stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. “I will. Thanks. Maybe I’ll just go to the store before she gets here and buy the necessary wine for her visit. If I let her go with me, you know what will happen.”

  “You’re significantly better about buying actual food at the grocery store than she is.”

  “I know. Please keep an eye on Chelsey for me. I’ll be back in a little while.”

  Later, Kat and Joel were quietly working in their offices, when all of the dogs leaped up from their naps and started barking furiously. Kat ran out of her office and up the stairs. “Quiet, you guys!”

  She opened the door and saw Maria standing on the landing with a wild-eyed look on her face. When she saw Kat, her expression softened, she opened her arms wide, and shouted, “Girlfriend!”

  Kat hugged her friend hard. “Come on in.”

  Maria walked into the entryway, threw down her bag, and kicked off her pumps. She pointed at Kat. “You need to start pouring. The Whine and Wine begins now!”

  Kat laughed. “I can’t believe you drove all this way for a glass of wine.”

  Maria put her hand on her hip. “Oh, I’m having more than one glass, girlfriend. This is the whine to end all whines. The grapes are gonna quiver on their vines.” She paused. “Hey, all that driving turned me into a poet.”

  Kat walked to the kitchen, got out two glasses, and pulled the wine from the pantry. “Feel free to have a seat. I’m on it.”

  Maria sat down at the table. There was a great commotion in the downstairs hallway, and then all of the dogs came thundering up the stairs. They gathered around Maria, and Linus put his muzzle in her lap. Maria rested her hand on his head. “Hello, Mr. Gigantic Head. You realize that your nose probably weighs forty pounds all by itself, right? You’re gonna put my legs to sleep.”

  Kat held the two glasses in front of her and gestured with them toward the living room, “Go on, you guys. Go lie down.”

  All the dogs scattered to locations around the room as Joel walked into the kitchen. “Hi Maria.”

  “Hey. What’s up in the land of engineering?”

  “Same old geek stuff. You don’t want to know.”

  Maria waved a hand dismissively. “You know it. I really don’t.”

  Kat said, “You have your wine now. Tell me what happened. Joel said you quit. I can’t believe it. After all this time, did you really finally do it?”

  Maria sat back in her chair, cradling her wine glass in both hands. “Yes. As you know, I have not been what you might call satisfied with my employment situation for a while.”

  Joel sat down at the table next to Kat. “So we’ve heard.”

  Kat nodded. “The twelve versions of your resume that you sent me were a clue. Oh, and you work for Mark, who is completely insane. That was an issue for me too when I worked there, as you may recall.”

  Maria leaned forward and tilted the rim of her glass toward Kat. “The problem is that when you mix technology with crazy, you end up with a seriously evil brew. You’re on the high road to bat-guano-level, wack-a-doo nut-ball.”

  “Technology?” Joel said.

  “Yes. Now, you know that I am an open-minded, modern woman.” Maria flipped a wayward brunette curl off her face. “And I see the value of a cell phone. I understand why they are a fine thing. Really, I do. There could be emergencies. Doctors have cell phones because they’re on call. That’s good. If I’m being rushed to the emergency room, I want a sexy doctor to drop everything when he gets a call to come and resuscitate me.”

  Kat said, “What does a doctor or a cell phone have to do with anything?”

  Maria held up her hand and raised her index finger. “First, I’d like to meet a hot doctor. I’m just putting that out there.” She raised her middle finger. “Two, I do not need a cell phone so that I can be on call for every stupid idea my boss has. Mark forced a cell phone on me, so he could call me at any hour, day or night, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. And while I have this particular finger raised, I’d like to point out that it is not directed at you, but it was directed at Mark. Among other things. When I quit.”

  “Thanks. I feel better,” Kat said. “I’m confused though. He used to call you all the time anyway.”

  Maria slapped her palm down on the table. “Yes, but I didn’t have to answer it. I have an answering machine. I was his secretary, not his wife. What I do at my own home is my business. But he told me I couldn’t turn the cell phone off. Ever! It had to be on all the time, so he could reach me. He said I had to sleep with it on my pillow. Do you know what that’s like? He called me at midnight to tell me I had to get someone to fix his lawn mower. Another time, at three in the morning, he calls to tell me he caught a mouse in a trap. He was convinced it had some virus and I had to send it to a lab to be analyzed.”

  Kat cringed. “Eww. Gross.”

  “I know! Then another time he calls to tell me that a dog crapped in his front yard. He demanded that I get one of those pooper-scooper companies to come out and disinfect his precious zoysia lawn. And get surveillance equipment installed, so he could catch the perpetrator of the crime.�
��

  Kat grinned. “Oooh, illicit dumping. Call out the National Guard.”

  “Anyway, this went on for weeks. I didn’t tell you about it because I know you were dealing with your own stuff. And that was some really heavy stuff. You had a lot going on.” She paused. “Speaking of which...” she pointed at Joel, “You’re not broken, right?” She pointed at Kat. “And you’re not with kitten, right?”

  They moved their heads simultaneously indicating no, and Kat said, “I already told you all that! Get on with the story. What happened?”

  “I just wanted to establish the mood of the room.” Maria swirled her wine in the glass. “So last week, I finally told Mark that I would have to quit if he wouldn’t let me have a personal life.” Maria shook her head and peered down into her wine. “He said I couldn’t quit—that I’d never find another job. It was upsetting. He called me a lotta names and said I was stupid.”

  “That’s not true!” Kat said.

  “I know. But I didn’t say anything back when he said that, because I felt like I needed that worthless job. And then that pissed me off. I was so mad at myself. That night I decided to quit, but I wanted to do it right.” Maria grinned at Kat and raised her glass high. “I decided that it was time to organize an office party.”

  Kat looked at Joel, who raised an eyebrow and smiled. This was going to be good. “A party? How was it?”

  Maria held up the back of her hand and examined her long red fingernails. “You know I do excel at party planning. But I did hear the word legendary bandied around after this one.”

  “Nice.” Kat waved her hands. “Okay. Go on.”

  “Well, when the creepy D&D guys helped me move, they told me they had a Queen tribute band. They call themselves “Funkcan,” which they think is hilarious, because it’s a combination of Frank and Duncan.”

  Kat groaned. “Oooh, funky. Ugh. That’s awful.”

  “Yeah, they’re a pair of mutants, but it worked out because there’s a song by Queen that truly expresses my innermost feelings about Mark. Freddy Mercury already wrote what I would have, so I didn’t have to.” She turned to Joel. “Do you have the Night at the Opera album?”