by Rachel Cross
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Butler.”
“You too.” Butler fished around in his pocket and handed her a business card. “Send me a headshot.” Kate mustered a smile and shook her head, then tossed the card in her bag. Alec hand closed around her upper arm, almost painfully tight.
Butler raised his glass to her.
Alec pulled her none too gently out of the room.
His eyes flashed. “Looking for a new job?”
She stopped and yanked her arm. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Sorry. I just don’t like to see the woman I’m with cozying up to the likes of him — ”
“What the hell, Alec? He was kind — ”
He scowled. “He’s a shark and eats women like you for breakfast.”
Kate glared. “Are you jealous?”
He snorted.
Her heart seized up.
“Why are you behaving this way, hot and cold? I’m getting whiplash trying to keep up with your mood swings.”
“How about I give you hot then?” he growled, dragging her with him. Alec strode down the hall, Kate in his wake. He tried several doors before finding an empty office, pushed her into it and locked the door behind him.
He reached for her and she put both her hands on his chest. “Alec.”
“I want you.” His hands behind her back, tugged her toward him.
She leaned back. “Too bad. You are totally freaking me out — ”
“Then we’re even.”
Kate stared at him, open-mouthed. What was that supposed to mean? He took advantage of her distraction, pulling her to him. Kate lost her balance and dropped her purse. Alec put one arm under her hips and the other behind her head. He brought her to his eye level and lowered his mouth to her neck. It was electrifying. Backing her up, until she hit the door, he held her against it with his body. He smelled of sea and citrus and something else that she had come to recognize as pure, masculine Alec. His body was hot and hard against hers. Her stomach clenched and she felt the overwhelming ache of arousal that only he triggered.
Her lips met his again and again; she wrapped her legs around his hips.
Without preliminaries he thrust his tongue into her mouth, ravaged her, and she gasped. This was no tentative, exploratory kiss. It was hot and hard and desperate and given her current state, racked by stress and adrenaline, she was immediately as out of control as he was. She urged him on, running her hands through his thick, soft hair. His mouth caught her moans, her dress hiked up until all that separated her from him were her sheer panties and his pants. She rubbed herself against him, her mouth glued to his. Their tongues mated ardently, they fed at each other.
She could feel his huge erection straining against her. His free hand went under her dress to her breast, popping it free of the confining fabric of her bra. His mouth left hers. He held the tip to his lips, sucking the peak into his mouth so hard it was almost painful. She moaned and locked his head to her with her arm. His hands went to her hips to grind her harder against the hot strength of his arousal, his mouth still torturing her nipple. She felt her legs start to go boneless and had a split second to realize that she was about to come, hard. Frantic, she tried to raise her hips, but his hands were locked on them, stroking her against him. Desperate, she pushed against his head, his shoulders. It was too late. She stiffened, her back arched and she came with a long, hoarse cry that broke the silence in the room. She sank against him panting.
Awareness came and with it the hot flush of mortification.
His body was immobile, but she could still feel him pressed against her, still fully aroused. She covered her flushed face with a shaking hand and tried to unwind her legs.
He stopped her, pushing her harder against the door. Tremors wracked his body. He put one hand between them and fumbled with the zipper of his pants.
She looked down, eyes widening as she watched his hands pull his erection out of his pants. He reached beneath her dress and pushed aside her panties. He raised his head and she gasped at the look in his intense heated gaze, his flushed face deadly serious.
“God. Kate.”
Her mouth went dry.
He growled low in his throat and pulled her hard into him, thick and hot against her. The turgid flesh pressed at her slick entrance. He held himself up and pushed into her, slowly stretching her, blue eyes meeting and holding her slumberous green gaze. Resistance made her moan low in her throat at the discomfort, but he worked himself deeper and deeper into her, until he was fully seated.
They were both panting, eyes locked, staring. It was shockingly intimate, that familiar almost uncomfortable fullness, and it triggered weakness in her legs.
Oh no. Not again.
Something must have registered in her face, because he angled his hips, withdrew and ground against her forcefully. She came apart instantly. Before she came all the way down, he was pounding into her so aggressively it would have been painful had she not been so aroused.
She felt him tense and pause on a thrust that seated him all way inside her. He came with a long, agonized groan.
Against a door.
In a stranger’s house.
Was he insane?
Was she?
He leaned his weight away from her. She unlocked her legs from behind his back. Weak and trembling they refused to support her and she slid down the door to land in a lethargic puddle. He re-zipped his pants and stood looking at her on the floor. She waited for him to speak.
He didn’t. After a moment, he gently helped her up from the floor, handed her purse to her and opened the door. He led her to a bathroom where she spent an inordinate amount of time staring into the mirror. Looking at the reflection of someone she didn’t recognize. A woman who had just had wild, uninhibited, sex against a door at a party.
• • •
Alec learned against the wall on unsteady legs and stared at the locked bathroom door. Had he really done that? Completely lost control? He’d been out of whack emotionally since he met Kate, but that scene just now in the study — that was totally over the top. What must she be thinking? Had he hurt her? Oh God. What if he’d hurt her? Mind racing, unable to form a coherent thought, shame and self-loathing created a desperate desire to flee.
He walked into the living room and spotted a couple of people doing lines of cocaine on the far side of the room. He felt himself moving, against his volition, over to the group in the corner. There he stood, watching. Wanting. He knew what that would be like. How it would make him feel. He missed it. Craved it. One bump. Just one.
I need to get the fuck out of here.
On autopilot, he turned toward the front door. He bumped into a woman, clad in the green and black of the catering company.
“Hey.” He stopped her. “Can you do me a favor?” He reached into his back pocket, took a handful of bills out of his wallet and stuffed them into the woman’s hand. “Can you find a redhead, in a blue dress? Her name’s Kate. Take her home to Cielito?”
The woman looked down at the hundreds in her hand with a grin. “Sure thing.”
Without a backward glance, he continued out the front door, grabbed his keys from the valet and found his car. He drove aimlessly. Considered going back to the party. No. It wasn’t safe. Hell, he wasn’t safe. What had he been thinking, treating Kate like that? Jesus. She must hate him. Just like Poppy. He’d been an animal. He didn’t want to see her eye with the same disappointment and mistrust Poppy had near the end of their relationship. God. He needed to find a meeting.
• • •
Bracing herself, Kate opened the door. He wasn’t there. Making her way down the hall on shaky legs, she cursed her heels. Wow. That had been something else entirely. Had Alec been handling her with kid gloves this whole time? She bit her lip. Admittedly, sex against the door in the study
freaked her out a bit. They had never gone at each other like that. It was exciting and a little scary. She frowned. Where the hell was he?
She came to a halt in the threshold of the door to the back patio where most of the guests were gathered. Kate searched the backyard. Not there. She entered the house again. There were several shut doors throughout the house, but she was afraid to open them. She had seen people doing drugs in the living room. Would there be people in the bedrooms? Doing what she and Alec had just done? She didn’t want to walk in on that either. Her stomach was balled into a hard little knot. She pressed her fist against it. He couldn’t have left her here. Could he?
What the hell? She’d been searching for him more than thirty minutes. On her third pass through the house, it finally sunk in. He was gone. Kate’s breath shuddered out of her throat; a wave of disbelief shook her, pushed her over into a pool of pain. She drew one breath, then another. Turning on her heel, she headed back inside only to be stopped by a tall brunette in a catering uniform.
“Kate?”
“Yeah?”
“You need a ride?”
“Uh … ”
“I’m Angie. A guy gave me a grand to take you to Cielito. My car’s out back.”
Kate’s mouth dropped open. She closed it with a snap and a glare. “Where is he?”
The woman gave her a sympathetic look. “He was headed out the front door, last time I saw him.”
He left? Numb, Kate buckled herself into Angie’s Mini with shaking hands. Angie kept up a steady stream of conversation. Something about how many A-lister’s she’d had in her car and how common it was to take their inebriated butts home at the end of these kinds of parties. Kate only half listened.
What the hell was wrong with him? She checked her phone again. Nothing.
This was the second time he had bailed on her with no explanation. At least when he did it before, she’d been at her house. Leaving her at this party, where she didn’t know a soul? Paying someone to drive her home?
She tuned in as Angie waved a piece of paper at her.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. What’s that?” Kate asked.
“It’s a map to the stars homes. Would you believe I’ve actually had to use it a time or two?”
Kate cocked her head. She was not following this conversation.
“I mean, sometimes they are too drunk or stoned to direct me home. It’s crazy. You know what else is crazy? How much these people spend on food when no one in this town will eat a damn thing. No wonder they get so drunk. They don’t eat!”
The shock was wearing off, and Kate turned to look out the window. Her sniffing must’ve given her away.
Angie moved her hand from the gearshift and gave Kate’s arm a squeeze. “If it’s any consolation, the guy who gave me the money looked pretty wrecked too. You guys have a fight or something?”
What was his problem? The disappointment and overwhelming sadness didn’t leave room for anger. Angie switched on the radio. A Bliss retrospective. Figures.
Kate spent most of the journey silently crying. How could he have just left her there? And after what happened?
Angie pulled into the circular driveway. Puffy-eyed, exhausted and heartsick, Kate opened the car door.
“Thanks, Angie.”
“Good luck, hon.” Kate shut the door and the car pulled away.
Clenching her teeth against a new onslaught of weeping, she let herself into her house, closed the door and slid the bolt home.
Chapter 19
Alec leaned back in the patio chair, shifting his position, scowling. Damned uncomfortable chairs. He hadn’t wanted to come here today. He hadn’t wanted to do anything this week but hole up in his house in Los Angles and think about what a fuck-up he was. He’d finally sent the box of Kate’s things with a letter.
“You’re particularly morose today,” Dave observed, adjusting his own position in the vinyl pool chair, while keeping a close eye on his three kids swimming in the pool. The older two swam like seals but three year old Sophy, required a careful eye. After an hour of horseplay in the pool with the kids, they sat drinking iced-tea and dripping in their swim trunks.
“These chairs suck,” Alec said. “Seriously, man. Buy yourself some decent pool furniture or I will.”
Dave raised his brows. “Dude. Don’t change the subject. And don’t irritate me. What’s the matter with you?”
Alec’s mouth twisted. He should have known better than to come here in this miserable mood.
“I thought Kate was — ”
“It’s over.”
“Over?” Dave sat up and blinked at him. He settled back, eyes on the pool. “Ah.”
“Don’t ‘Ah’ me. You don’t know anything about it.”
Dave’s lips thinned. “Don’t I, though.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Dave leaned forward resting his arms on his thighs, expression hard. “Why do you have to screw up every good thing in your life?”
Alec stiffened and absorbed the blow.
Turning his watchful gaze to the pool, Dave was probably waiting to see if the escalating argument between the five-year-old twin girls would require his intervention. “That woman was good for you.”
“You met her once.”
“Yeah. You think I don’t know a real person when I meet one? Give me a break. I may live in Los Angeles, but I’m from the Midwest, same as you.”
Alec argued, taken aback. “You don’t meet the women I date.”
“I rest my case.”
Alec glared. “Hold on. You don’t know them.”
“I’m sure there’s a reason for that, just as I’m sure the one you finally did introduce to us was a keeper.”
“So?”
“So. You finally date a real, down to earth woman of character. A woman with no connections to the industry. A woman with a real job. A woman who is not a narcissist. A woman who wasn’t dating you to further career goals. A woman who’s brave, for chrissakes.”
Alec grimaced. She was brave. A vision of her charging, fully clothed, into the water at Mar Vista came, unbidden.
“Well, you’re wrong on at least one count. She may have been dating me to further her career. I caught her chatting up a producer; she got his card and everything.”
Dave stared at him. “Bullshit.”
Alec shrugged. Even he didn’t believe Kate had been using him to get into acting. Kate who had fought to stay out of the limelight in New York.
“Alec, the woman took care of her dying mom, raised her sister, put herself through college, rescued a stranger. That takes some serious fortitude. That’s a person capable of love. I’m sure that scared the hell out of you. Being with her put you in the deep end for once, and from what I saw here, you were up to your neck in it. You’ll use any excuse to avoid really caring for someone. Why’d you bring her to a party with producers, anyway?”
Alec clenched his jaw.
Dave raised his brows. “Ah. A test.”
Alec scowled.
“Daddy!” Both men watched Sophy as she maneuvered her way around her sisters’ battle over an inflatable raft.
“Don’t let go,” Dave admonished Sophy who was making her way into the deep end. “Jesus, Alec, don’t you think you deserve to be happy? All this self-flagellation.”
Alec shifted in his seat. Damn these chairs and damn Dave for knowing him so well. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I really don’t. My life is great.”
Dave laughed. “No. It isn’t. My life is great. I’m not rich. I’m not that successful, but I’m doing what I want, I have a terrific, supportive wife and three awesome kids. Trust me, man. Your life is not great.”
He rubbed his forehead. “It is.”
“Don’t bullshit me. I’ve known you since we were kids. My parents just about raised you. You are an incredibly gifted musician. You pissed that away. Then you pulled yourself out of a cesspool, which is something I admire tremendously, but instead of going back to the thing you love — ”
“You know when I first got sober it never would have taken if I’d gotten back into music right away.” Alec raked a hand through his hair.
Dave nodded. “So college made sense, but law?” He gave a short laugh. “That’s a profession that attracts workaholics like bees to honey. You have nearly ten years of sobriety. Don’t you think you could go back to what you love and stop screwing around, making all of us miserable?”
His response was so quiet it was almost inaudible. “I don’t know.”
Dave acknowledged this with a long look over his sunglasses.
“So, what’d you do to drive this girl away? I’m sure it was effective,” Dave said.
His stomach dropped along with his jaw. “Is that a reference to how awful I was to Poppy?”
Dave sighed. “I wasn’t talking about Poppy. You’re the only one still hung up on that. We all forgave you. Poppy was the first person to forgive you, and let’s be real, she came through with nothing more than a bruised heart, quickly mended, and a lot of cash.” He let out a bark of laughter at the shocked expression on Alec’s face. “What you settled on her allows her to stay at home with her kids, paid for their house, and provides their retirement. Time to let yourself off the hook, man.”
Squeals filled the air as the older girls attacked each other with pool noodles, raft forgotten.
“Be careful with your sister,” Dave commanded before turning back to Alec. “You weren’t a good match, and you were pretty far gone by then anyway. I tried to talk her out of trying to rescue you, since I hadn’t had any luck in the saving Alec department. I get why you married her, who wouldn’t love Poppy? My sister is a marshmallow.”
Alec put his head in his hands. Dave saw right through him and always had. Still, it was good to hear this about Poppy. Blackouts and guilt colored so much of his perception of the relationship with her, he didn’t know what was real.