by Rachel Cross
“She would be the first to admit she couldn’t handle that life or you. She’s happy now, and she would never begrudge you the same.”
“What’s wrong with me that I only want to get serious with small-town innocents?”
Dave’s mouth dropped open. “Are you seriously comparing Poppy to Kate?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Alec. Can you see Poppy dragging some guy off the ocean floor?”
“No.”
“Would Poppy have been responsible enough at eighteen to take care of an eleven-year-old?”
“I guess not.”
“I’m her brother, man, the answer is no.”
“Okay. No.”
“So other than age and size of the town they grew up in, do you see any similarities? ’Cause I gotta tell you man, the woman I met at my house is nothing like my sister, much as I love her.”
“I guess.”
“Dude. Your mind is playing tricks on you. You are so desperate for an out, any out, you’re not thinking.”
Stomach tied in knots, Alec stood up and paced the pool deck in front of Dave’s chair. “You don’t know what happened at the party.” Alec threw himself back into the chair. “I lost it with her.”
Dave took a sip of iced tea. “What does that mean?”
“I lost control. Sexually. With her at the party.” Alec turned away. Afraid of what he’d see in his friend’s eyes.
“Still not getting it.”
Alec looked up and scowled.
“Well I know you, Alec. You didn’t hurt her.”
“Jesus, Dave, she was a fucking virgin when we met and I treated her like a, like a … ”
“Sounds like you got carried away in the moment. As long as she did too.” He shrugged.
Alec stared at him, open-mouthed. “I don’t think you get what I’m telling you, man. I was out of my mind.”
“Did she tell you to stop?”
“No.”
“So?”
“So, I don’t get out of control. Not like that. Not anymore.”
Dave’s eyes widened. His mouth opened and he laughed. And laughed. Huge, belly laughs until he was gasping for air. When he could finally catch his breath, he said, “Oh, Alec. You poor, dumb son-of-a-bitch. Of course you got out of control. We all do when we care about someone.”
“You weren’t there. You don’t know,” he insisted, stubbornly.
“I’m confused. Was she mad at you, after?”
Alec looked away again. “No … I mean … I don’t know. I had to leave.”
Dave’s mouth fell open. “You left her at the party? Two hours from home?”
Alec rubbed his face with his hands. “I paid someone to take her home.”
Dave let out a low whistle. “Jesus, Alec.”
“I know. I know.”
“She must be pissed.”
“I sent her a letter.”
Dave shook his head. “A letter? You sent her a letter? Oh, Alec, Alec, Alec. You have seriously fucked this up.”
“Daddy! Come play with us.”
He stood, staring down at Alec. “My advice? Fix it, if you can.”
Dave walked to the edge and cannon balled into the pool. Alec put his head in his shaking hands. He needed to do more than hit a few meetings. He needed to talk to his sponsor.
Chapter 20
Work was interminable tonight and it wasn’t even half over. To make matters worse, a box of the things she’d left at Alec’s house in Los Angeles earlier in the week had shown up at her house yesterday. Along with a letter. A letter apologizing for his behavior at the party. For “crossing boundaries, losing control, hurting her and abandoning her.” He hoped she could eventually forgive him. It was clearly heartfelt; it was just as clearly an end to the relationship.
She told herself she was through crying, but that didn’t seem to stop the tears from flowing. Kate hurried down to the storage area to get more linens. She turned with an armful of sheets, blankets, and towels and froze.
Blocking her exit, was Billingsly. He looked thinner. Paler. Must be all the surgeries he was doing taking their toll.
Kate glanced heavenward.
I so do not need this now.
“Dr. Billingsly. If you would excuse me, these supplies are urgently needed back on the floor.” Yeah. Right. She looked at the linens in her arms. Urgent.
He moved forward. She took a step back, farther into the closet.
“Uh, what are you doing?” She strove to keep her tone conversational.
“I’ve been trying to talk to you, Kate. I’ve texted and called.”
“About that. You need to stop. I’m flattered, but I’m not interested. I’ve made that clear.”
He continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “I didn’t like reading about you in the tabloids. Your exploits with Alec Sawyer and Asher Lowe. Not appropriate, Kate. Not while you’re with me.”
With him? “We went out one time.”
“And you told me you weren’t comfortable having a relationship with me while you worked here.”
“Yes,” she admitted. “But — ”
“So quit.”
She almost laughed out loud, until she saw the expression on his face. He was deadly serious.
“I can’t quit. I need this job. Besides, that’s not even the point — ”
“I can get you fired so you can collect unemployment while you find something else.”
“No. Don’t do that, Dr. Billingsly. It isn’t that we work at the same hospital. Uh. I’m dating someone else.”
He sneered. “Kate, I haven’t seen either of them around lately. You’re no longer the rock musician flavor-of-the-month. You owe me a second chance.”
Her eyes widened and she leaned back, not sure what to address first. “Owe you what? We had one dinner.”
“We had two dinners. I want another chance. You must give me that.”
“Look, Doctor, I don’t even need to give you a reason. I don’t want to go out with you. Period.”
Billingsly stepped closer. “I’ve been patient, Kate,” he said softly, almost kindly, though the look in his eyes was anything but. “Enough is enough.”
Is he insane?
Suppressing an inappropriate bubble of nervous laughter, she turned, sighing heavily as she dumped the linens on the cart. When she spun around, he was inches away.
“Hey.” Putting up her arms defensively, she looked into his face, shocked to see it white with fury.
“I’ve been patient.” He pulled her to him, despite her resistance. For a skinny guy he was surprisingly strong.
“Hey! Stop — ”
He grabbed her ponytail and yanked her head back, she yelped in pain and he took the opportunity to grind his mouth down on hers. She could feel his arousal through the thin scrubs and a wave of panic and nausea rolled through her. She shoved at his hips, totally disgusted. She tried to turn her head, revolted by his tongue stabbing into her mouth. She bit down and he reared back, crying out in pain.
“Stop!” She screamed the word, fury pumping through her. She scrubbed her hand across her mouth, trying desperately not to retch. She wanted to kill him. She looked around for something to grab, anything.
“Kate.” He reached out a hand, his eyes pleading with her.
She opened her mouth to put him down, but he took a step forward. She screamed.
A medical technician and a nursing assistant burst into the storage room. Kate scooted around them.
“Leave me alone,” she spat at him over her shoulder.
With a brief thanks to her two rescuers, she headed back to her floor.
Human resources, as soon as she was off.
In the morning she stayed
after her shift ended to make a complaint. Kate was ushered in after cooling her heels for over an hour in the reception area. The human resources supervisor, Marla Simpson, instructed her to take a seat.
“Kate Gibson.” She introduced herself.
“I know who you are,” the gray haired woman responded. “What seems to be the problem, Ms. Gibson?”
“It’s Dr. Billingsly.”
The woman’s eyes frosted over, her expression blank.
“He won’t take no for an answer. Tonight, he assaulted me in the storage area.”
Ms. Simpson heaved a sigh. “You have to understand, Ms. Gibson, your credibility — ”
“My credibility?”
“Dr. Billingsly has already registered a complaint about your unprofessional behavior.”
Kate felt her blood pressure rise and she half rose out of her chair. “My what?”
The woman grimaced, her expression that of someone who smelled a foul odor. “We’re aware you dated — ”
Kate put a hand on the chair to steady herself. “Dated?”
“Dated Dr. Billingsly? We’ve discussed the matter with him. Although we try to stay out of these things, sometimes we’re drawn in.”
“I didn’t date Dr. Billingsly … I went on one date.” Kate sputtered.
Marla Simpson looked over her bifocals. “Whatever they’re calling it these days, dear. I don’t want to know. Unfortunately, some of the board members have seen the tabloid shots of you with assorted musicians. They’re not pleased.” She sighed wearily. “God knows your reputation isn’t helping you, or the hospital, for that matter.”
Kate sat back in her chair in astonishment. “My reputation?”
The woman put up a hand. “Cavorting with not one, but two rock stars?” She made a tsking noise, lips pursed. “And dating a married surgeon here at the hospital?”
Kate recoiled. Married? He’d told her he was legally separated. Had he lied about that?
Does everyone know about me and Alec? And what’s this about Asher? She met the older woman’s eyes evenly. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Frankly, being tabloid fodder doesn’t help your credibility. A woman of your,” she looked disdainfully at Kate, “experience ought to be able to dissuade a man of Billingsly’s ilk. Just tell him you’re no longer interested.”
Lips parted, Kate searched for words. She sat motionless, trying to pull her thoughts together.
“I was assaulted. At work. In the storage closet.” Her anger boiled to the surface at the memory of what had happened earlier that night. And what could have happened.
“Rest assured, a report will be made.” The woman looked over the top of her reading glasses at Kate. Disapproval etched into every wrinkle. “Have a good day, Ms. Gibson.” She indicated the door with her free hand.
Kate rose and walked out, shaking with impotent rage. “A report will be made,” she muttered to herself. She froze in the hallway as understanding set in. A report against me.
She saw it now. They were going to protect Billingsly and drum her out. She could try to get some kind of collaboration from the med tech and the nursing assistant, but what could they say? That they heard her scream? She stopped on the sidewalk outside the hospital. That didn’t mean anything. They could probably twist that into screams of pleasure. Her shoulders slumped. She was well and truly screwed.
They’ll go to any lengths to protect Billingsly.
Time to start looking for another job. Her heart sank. Despite Billingsly and management, she loved that hospital, and her co-workers. But this was one fight she couldn’t win. The human resources manager had made that patently obvious. First thing tomorrow she would clean up her resume and send it out to hospitals in the surrounding area. The commute would suck, but at least she wouldn’t be accosted in the supply room.
• • •
She’d worked two overtime shifts and it was wearing her out. Obsessing about Alec had cut into her daytime sleep. Bleary eyed, she tried recaffeinating in the break room. Thankfully she hadn’t encountered Billingsly or human resources.
And Alec? What a mistake. Now she could see how her mother made such bad choices. She thought she’d known Alec. She never thought he would hurt her like this. When would this infernal, gut-wrenching pain go away?
Several hours after her shift, she ran through fog so thick she could barely see the ocean. Tomorrow night she had work.
Ava was meeting her later and Kate couldn’t remember ever feeling so emotionally drained. She managed to put off Ava off for a few days while she worked, but her best friend knew how to whine and cajole and slather her with guilt until she caved and agreed to an outing.
It was far preferable to hole up eating Ben and Jerry’s and work her way through all the DVR’d seasons of her favorite BBC shows than to dissect the baffling failure of her first serious relationship. Who was she kidding? Her first love. Her heart fisted in her chest.
The doorbell rang. Frowning, she pulled on her shoes. Had Ava come to get her? Odd. She’d told her friend to meet her there.
Kate opened the door and spied a floral arrangement so gargantuan she couldn’t see the face of the man delivering them. He peeked around.
“Someone likes you,” he drawled. “This is the nicest arrangement I’ve ever delivered.”
“Thanks.” She took the enormous vase from him and set it on the step. Glancing out at the street, across from the delivery van she saw a bright red Mercedes convertible. There was no street parking here since the driveways were big enough to park several cars. She frowned, peering at the windows and watched it roar away, tires squealing.
Was that Dr. Billingsly in the driver’s seat? She stared after the car. It couldn’t be.
“Miss? I need a signature.” The man was holding out a clipboard and pen toward her, expectantly.
“Of course,” she said, absently. “Thanks again.”
Her unease dissipated as she spent a moment studying the arrangement. Three dozen pastel roses, fully opened and incredibly fragrant. Impressive. She hadn’t known roses came in that many colors.
Carrying them inside, she set them on the coffee table. She pulled the small sealed envelope off of its plastic stalk and opened it. Dared she hope?
Kate, give me another chance. —B
Damn it. Not Alec then. Billingsly really was nuts if he thought flowers could make up for what he did. And was that him in the red Mercedes?
• • •
An hour later, Ava grabbed the bucket of golf balls. Picking out clubs, Kate and Ava chose positions next to each other but far enough away from the other golfers at the driving range that they couldn’t be overheard.
“It was this or the batting cages.” Ava smiled. “I figured you needed to knock the hell out of something.”
Kate gave her a smile. “You know me too well.” Her smile was belied by the vicious swing that sliced the ball down the range.
Ava took her shot with considerably less fury. “Tell me about it.”
“I already told you. He’s an ass. Who left me at a party where I knew no one, two hours from home. How could I be so wrong about somebody?” She swung again, a hook this time.
“So what did the letter say? Specifically.”
Kate shook her head. “He apologized for what happened at the party, for hurting me, losing control, leaving me. All of it. He said everything but, ‘have a nice life.’” She took a dimpled ball out of the bucket and crouched to place it on the Astroturf. Glancing up, she found Ava watching closely.
“What happened at the party?”
Kate shook her head. She wasn’t ready to talk about that. To admit what happened. Even to Ava.
Ava leaned on her club. “Well, at least you finally put yourself out there.”
Kate attempted a smile. “I think you mean, at least I finally put out.”
“Yeah, that too. See what you’ve been missing?”
“It was so much more than the sex, but geez, Ava, the sex was unreal.”
Ava grinned. “Sex is with a good lover is pretty awesome. And I’m sure someone with his experience — ”
“Yeah, but Ava, it was beyond intense. You know what I mean?”
Ava raised her eyebrows “Kate.” She blew out a breath. “The first time you have sex with someone — ”
“Yes, mother? Are you about to tell me you never forget your first time? C’mon.” She raised her eyes skyward. “Can you not be so condescending? You and Alec — ”
Ava’s brow wrinkled. “Alec is condescending about sex?”
“Not anymore.” Kate said, gleefully, knocking her ball of the tee with a powerful, inaccurate swing. “He told me it was the best he ever had.”
Ava coughed to cover a laugh.
Kate smiled over at her. “Yuk it up. I know what you’re thinking. I would’ve thought the same thing. ‘Oh, he probably says that to whoever he’s with.’ I get it. And of course it’s laughable if I say it, right?”
“Well, kinda, Kate. Since you have nothing to compare it to.”
“He told me it was more than great sex. He said it was a cosmic joke that the best sex he ever had was with a virgin,” she said, ducking her head.
Ava froze mid-swing, put her club down and walked three feet.
“He said what?” Her voice raised to a shout, only a few inches from Kate’s face.
Kate glanced around. “For Pete’s sake, Ava.” Kate backed up a step.
Ava stared at her in disbelief. “Kate, I’m ready to take back my friendship card. What the hell? He tells you that and you didn’t call me? Like, immediately?”
Kate bit her cheek to keep from laughing. “I told you how great it was,” she said, half-defensive, half-amused.
“Yes, well, he’s very experienced. It’s supposed to be good for you. I’d be more surprised if it wasn’t. Dude has a major reputation with the ladies and he’s been married twice; he must at least a very good understanding of the highlights of our anatomy … ” she trailed off at the look on Kate’s face.