“Alexandra, what do you think about what Paul said?”
Bastard, he knows I wasn’t listening.
Aware of what Nick tries to do, I give the most generic but appropriate answer I can think of. “I think Paul believes everything he said, or he wouldn’t have said it, right Paul.” I turn to Paul who shakes his head in agreement.
That was easy.
Nick leans over the papers in front of him and writes something down. He then asks another question of Maggie who sits at the far end of the conference table. Maggie straightens her shoulder and gleams at the opportunity to shine. Heads turn towards Maggie as she speaks. Nick adjusts the paper he marked towards me. I don’t move but look down to read what is there: WELL PLAYED, NOW TRY TO CONCENTRATE. SAVE THOSE WICKED THOUGHTS ABOUT MY HANDS FOR LATER.
Oh my, he is arrogant. How dare he thinks I have wicked thoughts about his hands. Even though I am. I write on my legal pad then shift the paper in his direction:
I AM TRYING TO CONCENTRATE! THE TAPPING OF YOUR FINGERS IS DISTRACTING. I HAVE NO WICKED THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR HANDS OR ANY OTHER PART OF YOU.
Mr. Ryan jumps in as Maggie takes a breath, “Thank you, Maggie. Now, Alexandra, can you please stand up at the board and list your top accounts?”
I give Mr. Nick Ryan a you got to be kidding me look. What’s he up to?
“Yes, if that's what you want.”
"It is," Nick responds.
I stand and roll back my chair with the back of my legs. I smooth out my white fitted pencil skirt and look down at Nick. His eyes scan my body. I turn and as I take my first few steps, the heel of my shoe must snag on a pull in the carpet because as I try to follow through with my step, my heel won’t budge. I twist back to see what is wrong with my heel. I can see nothing, but my heel is definitely stuck. I reach back to grab it but I cannot reach it in my standing position. I then bend at the knees, my behind hovering over my heels and I finally free my heel from the rug. The room is silent; I look back at the conference table and notice all the men shifting in their seats. I continue towards the dry erase board and grab the marker.
In a struggle to remove the cap, the marker falls to the floor. As I look to see where it fell, I step back onto the fat round marker and almost face plant. Luckily, the wall is there to break my fall. Once I establish my balance, I turn and bend to pick up the marker completely forgetting I am wearing a somewhat low cut blouse. I hear a few of the men clear their throats and I slowly stand up hoping everything is where it should be. I turn back towards the board and get to the purpose at hand.
I quickly write the names of all my accounts but am distracted by the noise behind me. I turn only my head to see what the commotion is. All the men continue to fidget in their seats. I return to my task and that’s when it hits me. My entire body moves as I aggressively try to get this done. I slow my pace just as I finish writing the last two accounts. I cap the marker, place it on its little ledge under the board, and return to my seat humiliated.
Nick watches me intently as I take my seat. I turn towards him, “Is that what you wanted, Mr. Ryan?”
Nick leans back in his chair with his legs crossed knee over knee. His arm bent as his elbow rests on the arm of the chair. Nick tilts his head resting his hand by his mouth, his fingers rub across his lips, “Yes, Alexandra, that was what I wanted.” His voice is seductively steady.
The room becomes silent while all the men compose themselves. Nick clears his voice and continues with the business meeting. Nick calls on Paul who sits next to me, “What about your top accounts?”
Paul sits forward in his chair and clears his throat, “If you don’t mind Mr. Ryan, I’ll just stay seated and read them to you.”
Nick with a perfect poker face says, “Not a problem.” I watch as Nick looks around the room and then writes on the paper in front of him. When he finishes, he taps the paper with his finger.
A flush of heat moves over my face as I read the note: IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE ENJOYED THE VIEW. I scan the room. My fellow employees fidget in their seats trying to recover. The men adjust their collars. I stop to observe Nick who stares at me while poor Paul gives a litany of his accounts with no one paying attention. I can’t wait until this meeting is over.
When I get back to my office, Jill is not at her desk. I look down at my watch and assume she is at lunch. I close my door and slump into my chair.
What a klutz!
I’m a hot mess. This man has my brain working in circles. One minute I want him the next minute I want nothing to do with him because he’s my boss. I want him to call, I don’t want him to call, then he doesn’t call, and then I’m angry that he doesn’t call. It just feels all too complicated. I wish I never met him.
I look around my desk at the piles of papers. I have so much work, I need to focus. I pick up the folder on top and go through the Harmony sports drink campaign due in the next few weeks. I pull up the file on my computer and click on the various tabs. I stare at the computer screen realizing nothing computes except thoughts of Nick.
I need to get things straight right now. I stand and straighten my skirt. Determined to clear the air today, I walk towards my office door, but I hear a light tap and then it opens. Nick stands in my doorway looking like a hungry tiger ready to take down an innocent gazelle.
“Oh, it’s you.” The only three words I articulate at this moment.
“Yes, Alexandra, It’s me.” He closes the door behind him and locks it. “Alexandra, I have one question for you?”
Oh, crap. “Yes, Mr. Ryan.”
“Alexandra, do you think you’re playing fair?” He stalks towards me as if he is deciding what angle he should use to take me down.
“Playing fair? I’m sorry I’m not following you. What is that question pertaining to?” I walk backward and turn when my ass hits my desk. I move to where I think is a safer place behind my desk. Nick follows right behind me, pushes my chair out of his way, and forces me to turn and face him. My ass rests on the edge of the desk.
His face is close enough to mine that I feel his warm breath on my skin. “Alexandra, you in this skirt.” His hands trail down my hips and over my thighs until his fingers find the hem of my skirt. As he leans into my ear, his warm breath gently moves strands of my hair over the exposed skin of my neck. He hooks his fingers under the hem and in an excruciatingly slow pace; he moves my skirt up over my hips. The static sound of the material sliding over my skin is enough of an aphrodisiac to make me feel a slight drip between my legs.
I can barely think, so the next words out of my mouth are hardly a sentence, and the sound of my voice is a whisper. “Nick. We can’t.”
With one quick movement, Nick lifts me on my desk, legs parted. “Alexandra, lean back.”
I lay back on my desk. Nick moves my arms above my head and on his way back down, he palms both my breast. He presses them together and up then releases them. He stands straight up and stares down at me. He removes his suit jacket and tosses it on my chair. Then he removes his tie, rolls it up and places it on the side of my body. I close my eyes and let whatever is about to happen, happen.
“Open your eyes and keep them open the entire time.” He demands me.
I dare not disobey him.
He stands over me, and stares at me, but not at my face. He stares between my thighs. His eyes hungry and his tongue sweeps across his full lips. He removes my panties and balls them up in his hand. He brings them to his face and inhales. “Alexandra, the smell of you is my drug.” He places my panties in his pant’s pocket then continues to do with me as it pleases him.
The sensation of Nick’s hands exploring my body over my clothes is intense while his eyes worship my body. I feel his hot breath and his warm tongue between my legs. He moves his tongue in and out of me then replaces it with his fingers. His mouth covers my clit; he sucks on the bundle of nerves while he moves his fingers in and out of me. I place my hands on his shoulders grabbing his crisp white shirt trying to gain control. His tongue lap
ping up all of me, I feel my orgasm start deep inside my belly, its slow moving but intense. It builds to where the need to come is painful, a good pain. Nick kisses the wet, plump folds of my skin while his thumb circles my clit. In an unexpected moment, my orgasm takes hold. I brace down on the desk with my entire body. I feel her pumping out her pleasure while Nick continues to lick up his accomplishment.
Then I feel nothing. And then I feel silk.
I prop myself up on my elbows to see what he’s doing. “Did you just use your tie to clean between my legs?”
“Yes.” He answers as he takes the tie he just had between my legs and fixes it around his neck.
I watch in complete shock as he tightens the knot and does a final adjustment. “Nick, you can’t walk around like that.” I stare at a smear of my juices across the widest part of his tie.
Nick leaves me sitting on my desk with my skirt jacked up around my hips while he puts his suit jacket back on and walks towards my office door.
“Nick, you can’t go out there like that,” I demand.
His hand is on the doorknob. “Why not?”
“Because you can see (I search for the polite way to say it)… me on your tie! People will notice.”
“So.” His hand turns the doorknob.
“So what will you say?” This man is crazy.
Nick shrugs his shoulders. “I will tell them it was my lunch.”
Then he’s gone.
I hadn’t seen Nick for the rest of the afternoon but after he gave me sweet release, I finished most of my work. It’s amazing how an orgasm relaxes you at first but then is like a jolt of energy.
I organize my desk and gather my things to go home. Jill left an hour ago and so did most of the office. While I wait for the elevator doors to open, I stare at my reflection in the mirrors. I look different. I look satisfied yet wanton at the same time. I look sexier. My full breasts curve along the seam of my scoop neck blouse. My hips seem curvier than normal. It’s as if Nick’s hands have manipulated my body to its best form. As if getting what you need makes your body want more, so it responds by standing at attention luring in more of what it wants. I feel the pulse quicken between my legs and I need release again. I could go back in my office, lock the door, and have myself. Just as I turn to walk back, the elevator doors open.
“Alex, you getting on.” The cold tone of her voice confuses me.
“Dawn, hello, yes.” I walk into the elevator and stand on the opposite side of her.
“You seemed flustered. Are you okay?” Her tone sounds cold.
“I feel a little warm but fine.” I lie.
We descend in silence and exit the elevator at the lobby. We walk together towards the doors exiting onto the street. They slide open and we both step out into the city. Just as I am about to turn towards her to say goodnight, she speaks.
“He’ll just use you. Don’t think it’s something special. I’ve known him for years, this is what he does.” She motions her hand up and down my body and disregards it with a look of boredom that cuts through me. “He’s even had me which is why for the life of me I can’t figure out where you fit into the equation. You’re not his type.”
I want to vomit but I put on my best poker face. And just as I am prepared to say something to protect myself, she walks away.
I look around confused and unsure of what to do next. I know all I have to do is walk towards the subway but I feel lost. Only a few seconds ago I stood in a moment feeling good about myself and now I feel ruined, her words ruining me, no, he ruined me.
I knew it.
I just knew I was one among many, but I hoped I was mistaken. I shake it off, gather my senses and walk towards the subway station. I reassure myself that it was a moment of poor judgment and tomorrow is another day. I still have everything I hold dear: my job, my home, Jill, and Joe. This man, this moment will not break me.
The next morning I wake with a different feeling. Last night I felt defeated, but that feeling passed. Now I feel sure-footed. Nick scratched my itch and I’m ready to move on. I’m done with him and today I will make sure he knows it.
I get to work, say hello to Jill, and announce that I’d like no distractions this morning because I have a lot of work to catch up on. She looks at me lopsided, but doesn’t question me.
I lock myself in my office and get to the file on HARMONY sports drinks. In moments of despair, great ideas always come to me and I need to act on them. I don’t look at my watch when my phone buzzes and Jill announces it's lunchtime. I continue working until I feel I’ve got a solid campaign down. At that point, I stretch back in my chair and decide it’s time for a break.
I walk out expecting to see Jill at her desk, but she is not back yet. I write her a note on a yellow sticky pad and place it on her computer screen. I suck in my breath as I stand in the elevator and press the button for the twenty-fourth floor. I don’t know what possessed me to do this but I’m working on instinct at this point.
When the doors open, I stare at his secretary at her desk on the phone. She’s a lovely petite older woman with a short black pixie haircut. Her dress is impeccable and her accessories are large pieces for her body type, but look good on her, anyway.
As soon as I walk up to her desk, she smiles and points her finger acknowledging that she’ll be one minute. While I wait, I glance around the room filled with various pieces of abstract art.
“Yes, Ms. Adams how can I help?” She asks as she hangs up the phone and clips her earring back on her ear.
I’m surprised she knows my name. “I’m sorry I don’t know your name.”
“I’m Marjorie.” She reaches her hand out.
Her hand is cold and boney. “Hi, Marjorie, nice to meet you. Is Mr. Ryan available?”
“Yes, he is. Go right in, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”
Does she mean happy to see me, or does Nick just have an open door policy so he’d be happy to see anyone? “Do you need to buzz him first?”
“No just go right in.”
I turn the knob of his office door. It feels too casual just walking right in. Obviously, Nick doesn’t have a problem with it because his secretary wouldn’t allow it if he did. I’m sure they’ve established proper protocol. I open the door and stand there shocked by what I see. I can’t move though I want to. I can’t speak so I stutter out a few words attempting to apologize for interrupting.
I turn, carefully close the door and walk past Marjorie.
“What happened dear he wasn’t in there?”
The elevator doors open and I quickly give her a wave. “He’s in there. He’s busy. I’ll come back.” As the elevator doors close, I hear Nick calling my name.
I can’t get back to my office fast enough. Thankfully, Jill is back. I walk into my office to grab my purse and cut her off before she can say anything. “Jill, I’m running downstairs for some lunch, I’ll be back.”
I take the stairs in case Nick comes down to explain himself. I don’t want to run into him on the elevator. I’ll walk down a few floors and take the elevator from a lower floor.
Out at street level, I try to breathe and try not to cry. I walk up Fifth Avenue towards 59th Street. I need to clear my head. A trip through Bloomingdales and a stop at the top floor for some frozen yogurt will help clear my head and get things back in perspective.
As I stand in front of Bloomingdales about to walk in my phone alerts me of an incoming text message. I scroll through it and see a message from Jill telling me Mr. Ryan stopped by my office and it seemed important. I text her not to worry, anything Nick Ryan has to say to me is not important. Then I see another text, this one is from the man himself:
I need to see you. Where did you go?
I delete it and continue with my retail therapy.
Twelve hundred dollars later I walk out of Bloomingdales feeling like a brand new woman. There is something to be said for retail therapy. Though I didn’t forget about what I saw, I have a better perspective on the situation.
His assistant warned me. I thought, at first, it was for her own benefit, but I see now she wasn’t lying. I don’t need or want Mr. Nick Ryan. Renee Lanier can have him, and better yet, he can have her with all her makeup and fancy nail polish, but he can’t have me, plain, simple, real me. I will not be one of many!
I text Jill to let her know I’m on my way back to work. She doesn’t respond which is not like her. Jill’s cell phone is always glued to her.
As I walk off the elevator, I see Jill’s vacant desk. Her cell phone sits on top of a pile of papers. I assume she’s in the bathroom so I head into my office.
I startle when I walk in.
“Nick you scared me.” I try to catch my breath as I drop my bags next to my desk. “What are you doing here and where’s my secretary?”
Nick stands up from the couch and stalks towards me. “I sent her on an errand, she’ll be back soon.” His expression is blank.
I let out a long deep frustrated sigh, “What can I help you with Mr. Ryan?”
He stands too close making it hard to breathe. “Mr. Ryan? Why so formal, Alexandra?” He attempts to move my hair off my shoulder but I grab him by his wrist before he can touch me.
“Mr. Ryan I asked you what can I do for you. That was not an invitation to touch me.” I hear the sternness of my voice and shock myself at how strong I sound.
“So that’s how this will go?” He pauses. “I want to explain to you what you think you saw wasn’t what was going on in my office.”
I step back and around him and take a seat in my chair behind my desk. I motion for Nick to take a seat in the chair facing my desk. He doesn’t sit instead he walks over, turns my chair to face him, leans down over me, and rests his hands on the armrests of my chair. He stares at me and then down at my thighs, which are more visible since my skirt hiked up when I sat down. His tongue passes across his lips as his eyes move off of my thighs and now stare at my mouth.
My heart races as this man takes control of this situation. I tighten my grip on the seat of my chair. There is nowhere for me to go. Then something shifts in me and I get angry, furious.
The Yes Girl Page 9