“Fuck, what are you two doing here and what the fuck happened to my face…bar fight?”
“Joe, have a seat over here.” Nick points to the couch. His voice remains steady.
“Come on what the fuck is going on?” Just as I thought, Joe doesn’t remember a thing.
“Sit down, Joe.” I demand. Joe sits down and stares at me confused. “Alex, what the fuck happened to you, did you get into a bar fight too?” Joe laughs.
“Joe you happened to me.”
Joe’s face goes blank.
I move closer to him so he can see the bruises on my face. “Joe you did this to me.” I step back and lift my skirt just enough to show him the bruises on my thighs, “Do you see this Joe? You did this to me.”
Joe’s face changes as if for a moment he retrieved a memory of the evening. “Shit, Alex, shit, I don’t know what…”
“Joe, say nothing. I’m going to talk now.” Nick shuts him down. Knowing the way Nick’s brain works he has no patience for excuses. “Joe, you sexually assaulted Alex last night in her office.” Nick swallows hard as if the words are difficult to say. “Thankfully, I walked in just before you completed your assault.”
Now I swallow hard at the thought of how bad it could have been. I feel sick. I feel like I could vomit.
“Joe, Monday morning we’re going to Human resources. We need to document this in your file and then from there you will go to rehab for 6 months. When you complete your rehab, you can come back to work, but you must continue an outpatient program. Or we call the police and Alex presses charges. Decide now.”
Joe looks to me, then Nick, then back to me. He says nothing but puts his head in his hands to cover his face.
Nick continues with the absence of Joe’s response. “You are very fortunate to have Alex as a friend. I think you should go to jail. Actually, what I wanted to do was beat you until you were dead. But Alex feels sorry for you. She wants you to get help.”
Joe looks up at me, his face is expressionless. “Okay, rehab.”
The taxi pulls up in front of Nick’s brownstone. It’s so early in the morning that the entire street is empty. I am exhausted. I have been awake since yesterday morning, twenty-four hours of no sleep. Nick slept at Joe’s apartment, but I couldn't sleep. Instead of sleeping, I watched the beautiful man next to me sleep.
I thought about the horror stories of woman being raped and you conjure up a story in your mind of how you would defend yourself. How you would somehow get away. Things like: I kicked him in the balls and got away, I poked both his eyes and got away, or I broke his nose with the palm of my hand outcome. It wasn’t like that at all. His strength and his weight were too much for me if Nick didn’t show up Joe would have succeeded.
“Come baby, I need to bathe you and get you to bed.” Nick helps me out of the cab. Nick takes me straight to his bedroom. I can’t wait to be under the covers in his bed.
I wish I could forego the bath, but I need to wash any traces of Joe off my body. Nick sits me in the oversized chair in the corner of his bedroom while he runs the bath water. A few minutes later he kneels in front of me removing my heels, his hands move around my body taking each article of clothing off carefully as if not to hurt my already hurt body. His fingers caress the black and blue marks on my face and thighs.
I look at my pile of clothes on the floor. “Nick, can you throw those out for me? Or maybe burn them.”
Nick looks at me and rubs both my knees. “Yes baby, I’ll take care of everything.” He drops his head. “I keep thinking about what could have happened if I didn’t show up. It makes me sick to my stomach.”
“I know. I had the same thought.” I pause as my stomach tightens, “I can’t even believe he didn’t apologize.”
“I thought the same thing, but Alex I think his brain is so soaked with alcohol that he won’t be able to apologize until he gets clean.”
Nick is aware of so much in life. He is such a decent man. I look up into his eyes, “Nick, I love you.”
“I love you, Alexandra. I realized last night just how much I love you. I wanted to kill Joe. I would have if you didn’t stop me. I wanted to kill him because he hurt you. The thought of him touching you makes me sick.” Though his words are angry, his touch is gentle as he moves his fingers down my cheek.
I kiss his mouth, “I need to sleep.”
“Let me bathe you, then I’ll put you to bed.”
Nick gently towels me off while I stand in the middle of his bathroom. “Wait here.” He leaves the room for a moment and comes back with a white t-shirt and white boxer briefs in his hands. “While you sleep, I’m going to do a little shopping for you, what size are you.”
“Six.”
Nick’s t-shirt and boxer briefs are soft. I feel cozy as I crawl into his bed. He has the softest bedding. Nick tucks the comforter up to my chin and leans down to kiss my forehead. “Sleep. Call my cell if you need me.”
Too exhausted to say anything, I nod and close my eyes.
I slowly open my eyes. The blinds are half way open and I notice a purplish grey hue has set upon the city. Confused I look around Nick’s bedroom. What time is it? Where is Nick? In the corner of the room, there are bags from some of the finest stores in the city…Tom Ford, Chloe, Lanvin, Chanel, Henri Bendel, Barneys, Bergdorf, Prada and others that are hidden behind those bags. Nick said he would buy me some clothes, but I thought he meant an outfit or two to get me through the weekend.
As I slowly try to sit up in bed, I realize how sore I feel. I turn to the nightstand and reach for my cell. It’s seven-thirty. I slept the entire day. Just as I put my cell phone back on the nightstand, the bedroom door opens. My face lights up as Nick comes into the room, “Good Morning Alex.” Nick says.
“Good Morning, Nick,” I tell him back.
“I gather you slept well. “
“I think so. I mean I must have because I think I woke, and it’s already Christmas.” I nod towards all the shopping bags.
Nick laughs, “I know once I started I couldn’t stop. I kept thinking how I want to see you in this outfit, and then that outfit, and when it was all over, I was turned on after thinking about you all afternoon, and now I’m on at least eight sales people’s hit list.” His charm oozes from every pore.
Nick sits next to me on the bed. He turns on the lamp on the nightstand and gently tilts my head from side to side. He is assessing the damage, again. He takes in a ragged breath, “That bastard.” He rests the palm of his hand on my stomach.
I reassure him that I’ll be okay. “They’ll be gone in a couple of days.”
“How do you feel otherwise?” In a circular motion, he gently rubs my stomach.
“I am a little sore, but that too will go away within a couple of days.”
He leans in and kisses my mouth, “I have dinner for us. They delivered it.”
“I’m starving. Painfully hungry.”
“You should be you haven’t eaten since when? Yesterday at lunch?”
“I think that was my last meal.”
“Well, I ordered a lot of food.”
I slowly, with the help of Nick, get out bed. Nick walks over to the shopping bags and pulls out a long cream colored silk robe. “Nick that is beautiful.” Nick holds up the robe as I turn my back towards him and place my arms into the sleeves. The silk feels gentle to my skin. Nick comes around to face me and ties the belt around my waist. “It looks beautiful on you. I had the salespeople remove the price tags and drop them in the bottom of the bags. If there is anything you don’t like, or it doesn’t fit, let me know I’ll return it.”
“Thank you, Nick. This is above and beyond.”
“I liked shopping for you, much more than I ever have for myself.” Nick moves his hands over my arms. “I can’t wait for Christmas!”
The rest of the weekend is quiet. I feel very sad about what Monday morning will bring. Nick and I talk about what happened. There is no other choice. Joe in rehab is better than Joe arrested and u
nemployed.
It’s not that I’m excusing his behavior, but what’s about to play out effects my life as much it does Joe’s life. I haven’t been without him in about twenty years. We have been a constant in each other’s lives. Besides Jill, Joe is the only other person who has been that constant, and I’ve enjoyed it, and expect it.
I feel too much is happening too fast. Everything has changed starting from the moment I met Nick. Maybe it’s the moment I said yes to things.
I remember someone telling me once that as soon as one thing changes in your life other things will change along with it. It’s like the universe enjoys forward moving, sometimes rapid forward moving, so it keeps going with it.
The problem is that my life has been controlled, stagnant. I did the same thing day in and day out, but now I’m being forced to accept so much change, so quickly, and though most of it I enjoy, some of it I wish didn’t happen at all.
First thing this morning, I talked to Mary in the Human Resource department. Nick escorted me to her office, and though he spoke to her first by himself, he chose not to go in with me when I documented my statement about the event that took place in my office with Joe on Friday night.
It was enough to witness the attack; he couldn’t listen to the details prior to what he walked in on. I wanted to speak to Joe before it was set in writing, but Nick would not let that happen. Nick feels its best for Joe to speak to me after he has spent some time in rehab when is brain is clearer.
When I finished Nick walked me to the elevator and waited for me to get on. He stayed behind to meet Joe.
I pace back and forth staring at the clock in my office. Joe’s meeting was at eight thirty. It’s now nine-thirty. It must be over by now. Nick said he would stop by my office when he finished with Joe. I try to concentrate on work but my effort is futile so I sit and attempt to relax myself. As I sit down, there is a knock at my door. “Come in.”
The door opens, and it is not Nick, “Hi Alex, may I come in?”
“Joe? Come in.” I say. I didn’t think Nick would let Joe anywhere near my office. I am positive Nick stands right outside my door.
“Nick gave me a hard time about seeing you, he’s right outside.” Joe answers my unspoken thought.
“Do you want to sit?”
“Unnecessary, this will be quick. Nick is only allowing me two minutes.” Joe looks sad and exhausted. “Alex, I need to let you know how deeply sorry I am.” Joe pauses and swallows. “I have a problem, drugs and alcohol, it’s a big problem.”
I don’t respond right away because I search for the right thing to say. I look at this broken man in front of me. I’ve known him most of my adult life so I say what feels right, “Joe, take this as a blessing. What you did to me was horrific. You’re lucky you did it to me. If you did this to anyone else, your life would be over. Go to rehab and get yourself healthy.”
“Do you think you’ll ever forgive?” Joe looks at me and then down at the floor.
“Joe, our relationship may never be the same, but as for forgiving you…I already have, the problem is that I won’t ever forget what happened. It was terrifying.” I walk over to Joe and hold out my hand. Tears stream down my face. “Joe, I’m going to miss you, you were a dear friend.”
“And I ruined that," Joe says as he looks down at his feet.
“In a way. Time can do a lot of good, so I can’t say for sure where our relationship goes from here, but I know it will never be the same."
“Alex, I’m going to do right by both of us. I promise.” Joe sounds desperate.
I step back, “Do right for you. All I want is to have you living a happy life sans drugs and alcohol.”
“You got it.”
My office door opens. “All set in here.”
I look at Nick and sigh deeply. “All set.”
“Joe, wait out here for a minute while I talk to Alexandra.”
Joe gives me a salute wave and I return the gesture. Nick closes the door and walks towards me. “Are you okay?”
“I am. Thank you. I needed to see him. I needed to talk to him.”
“I thought about it, you have a long history, he fucked up, but I thought about the closure you might need.”
I kiss Nick’s mouth, “You are a good man with a good heart. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby.” He takes in a heavy breath and releases it deeply. “I’ll be back later.”
“Are you okay?” I ask.
Nick doesn’t answer me right away. He continues to stare at me until he says the most generic response he can give. “Yeah.”
Not the answer I expect from him, but after what we’ve been through asking if he was okay was a generic question.
Later that day Nick calls me on my cell while I was still at work, something he never does. He has my direct office number, so he rarely calls my cell during the day. As he talks, I can’t help but notice that something is off. It’s not the tone of his voice as much it is his sporadic thoughts. He is usually so decisive, but now he sounds unsure.
“Baby, um, I, um, I’m, I hate to do this to you, but I’m going to be late.”
“Nick, you’re not doing anything to me…I’ll be fine. If you want to stay in the city tonight, please don’t give it a second thought.” I understand if he needs time to himself. This past weekend was a lot to deal with.
“No, I, um, I um, I need to see you tonight…I’ll just be a little late.”
I know something is wrong but I won’t ask because I know Nick, and I know he will tell me when he is ready. “Nick, I’ll see you later, but if you decide you can’t make it, please don’t worry about me…I’ll be fine.” Honestly, I couldn’t wait to get home, take a hot bath and crawl into my bed. “You have my house key.”
“I do. I’m not going to be that late, and I can’t stay in the city. Alexandra, I need to be with you, tonight more than ever. I just need to take care of something, first.”
The room remains dark except for a small night light in the corner of my bedroom. I feel like I slept for hours when I wake to his warm breath gently moving over my skin followed by his hands caressing every exposed part of my body. He is naked and I can feel his length pushing into my behind. His soft lips move over my shoulder, to my neck, then find their way to my ear. “Alexandra, I need you.” His voice is deep and hungry, but what is most prevalent is the strong smell of alcohol on his breath.
I say nothing because honestly it doesn’t matter. Something was off about him all day, and if he needed to blow off steam, I understand.
“I’m here, Nick.” I turn on my back. The warm glow of the nightlight exposes a look in Nick’s eyes that I’ve never seen before. Something I can’t place. I’ve witness drunk Nick when we went to his parent’s house, but this is something entirely different. Unchartered territory.
He sits up on his knees and straddles me. He lifts my arms above my head and slips off my thin cotton tank top tossing it on the floor next to the bed. I try to move my arms down from above my head, but he catches them and places them back above my head. He moves down the length of my arms, over my shoulders, then covering my breasts with his large hands, kneading my breasts up and in. He remains silent, but his eyes never leave mine. Afraid to say anything out of fear of waking Nick from this trance that he is in, I remain the observer. He continues moving down over my stomach. His fingers wrap in the elastic of my panties, pulling them down over my thighs, to my ankles, then tosses them on the floor.
Every movement is kind and gentle but deliberate.
He grabs both my ankles and separates my legs leaving me open to him. He stares between by legs, but says nothing. He takes a deep breath and lifts my leg in the air bending it at the knee. My body quivers with expectation. He looks to his hand wrapped around my ankle. To my shock he sucks on my toes, moves to my instep and finishes with sucking on the soft part of my ankle. Pure pleasure rips through my entire body. I feel the heat building between my legs, and I swear I can feel my wetness dripping on m
y inner thigh.
His warm, wet mouth moves up the skin of my calf. He gently straightens my leg in the air. His hot breath tickles my vulnerable skin, my body convulses from the pleasure. Without warning, Nick’s mouth and tongue cover the skin on the back of my knee. The alternating sucking and kissing behind my knee causes me to moan. Nick’s hand remains on my leg while his other hand finds its way between my thighs. He moves two of his fingers inside of me, pumping in and out at a steady pace. My entire body responds to his every move.
I lose all control. Still Nick’s eyes haven’t left mine. His stare is intense as he watches me unravel from his every touch. I tilt my head back into my pillow taking my eyes off of Nick for a split second. I gasp as he moves inside of me. He intertwines his fingers in mine above my head gripping me for dear life. With strong, firm, deep thrusts, he moves through me as my body gives into the most incredible orgasm I’ve ever felt. It washes through my body, and I have no control over my body’s reaction. I only know I don’t want it to end. Lost in the intense pleasure, I barely notice when Nick empties himself inside of me.
He releases a harsh guttural sound. His breath is hot as he speaks into the skin of my neck. “That’s the only way anyone should ever touch you, Alexandra.”
I realize Nick’s behavior during the day was about him needing to get his head right. His thoughts scattered between trying to protect me and wanting to kill Joe. He needed to make right what Joe made terribly wrong. The only way Nick could make any peace with it was by worshipping my body the way he just had.
Chapter 21
Alexandra
I stare at her like she’s crazy. “Dr. D’Angelo what did you say?”
“I said you’re pregnant.” The doctor writes something in my chart not looking up at me as she repeats herself.
“Pregnant? How is that possible, I take birth control?”
“Did you miss any pills?” Dr. D’Angelo writes something on her prescription pad.
The Yes Girl Page 22