“Which part of Chicago?” Autumn asks, and she looks straight at me with her eyes wide. Oh shit! I’ve seen that look before. I’m thinking Autumn likes to read the gossip columns. She gives me the once-over. “You’re dressed like a rancher,” she says before I have a chance to answer where I am from.
Kell looks me over appreciatively. “I’m liking the new look.” She smirks and winks again. Oh boy! I feel like I’m on an after-school special, wearing a cowboy costume.
“New look?” Mack asks one of her brows cocked.
“I knew you looked familiar.” Autumn smacks a hand to her thigh. “You were in the news. You were Governor Mathis’ chief of staff. My mom was on top of that story,” she says, accentuating the word that and story.
Mack’s jaw drops. “You used to work for the governor and now you work on this ranch?” She gives me a quizzical look that says she thinks I must be crazy.
“You worked for the governor?” Kell asks, and her eyes are wide as she uses her hand to fan herself.
“Yes,” I confirm to the ladies. You would think that I just admitted to being Brad Pitt the way their cheeks flush.
“Um, wow,” Mack says. Of the few minutes I’ve known her, I’m guessing she is way too serious about everything, that she has a very particular personality, and I’m not sure she likes me. “How did you say you know Sam?” she asks.
“I didn’t.” I shrug. I suddenly just want to eat in peace and quiet. If I thought I’d get any information out of her sister, I was dead wrong. She’s an attorney, and she’s the one fishing for information. I’m not going to make it easy on her.
“Sam met Al when his car got stuck in some snow. He had nowhere to go, so he’s been staying here with Sam. They’ve become friends,” Kell explains, and I let out an exasperated sigh. These people are too much.
“My sister let a complete stranger stay with her in this house?” Mack asks like she’s questioning Sam’s sanity.
“Well, your dad was home.” Kell shrugs, and I want to tell her that her argument isn’t a strong one, but I love her apple pie and she keeps bringing them over. Besides, I truly like Kell.
“Well, that’s just great.” Mack throws her hands up in the air and takes off up the stairs. Autumn gives me a sympathetic look and then follows Mack up the stairs too. I’m guessing her bedroom is upstairs. I’ve never been up there so I don’t know.
A few minutes later, Sam walks through the door with a kid.
“Hey there, little man,” Kell says, opening her arms up to the boy.
“Hi, Auntie Kell,” the boy says, hugging her tight.
Sam walks over to the sink and washes her hands. “Guess you met Mack,” she says, looking at me. Her tone is neutral but still holds an edge of hostility.
Kell looks between us and says, “Did you know Al worked for the governor of Illinois?”
Sam’s eyes turn as wide as saucers, but she quickly reins in her emotions and looks to me pointedly, waiting for an explanation.
“I was chief of staff until a few days ago,” I explain as if I telling her the cow ate some hay today.
“I see.” She nods.
The boy looks between Sam and me. “What is he saying, Auntie.”
“Nothing.” She waves him off.
“I’m Al, by the way,” I say to the kid.
“I’m Ethan,” he replies. “Mack and Autumn’s kid.”
I nod.
“Nice to meet you. I just met your moms. They went upstairs,” I explain.
The kid looks me up and down. “Are you a rancher?” I look like one, for what it’s worth. I’m just missing one of those cowboy hats and the long drawl.
Sam bursts into laughter behind him. “No, buddy. He’s from the city like you. He’s just dressed up like a cowboy,” she explains.
“I want to dress up too, Auntie,” the boy whines.
“Sure, maybe later. Let’s head up and see why your mamas left a raw turkey on the counter.”
She takes the boy by the hand, and they head up the stairs. Kell stays with me in the kitchen. I’ve managed to eat half a chicken and a bag of salad.
“Want some dessert?” she asks with a hopeful tone.
“I can’t say no to your apple pie, Kell,” I say with a wide grin.
She sighs. “Such a charmer.” Then she gets to cutting me a piece. “I’m going to have some too. I think the baby likes apples.” She rubs her stomach and smiles.
“It’s no fun eating pie alone. Glad you’re joining me.”
She places a warm piece on my plate, and we each take a few bites before she begins to speak. “I thought you and Sam were getting along well,” she says, but I hear the question in her tone.
“We were. I don’t know what happened,” I admit.
“What happened is that she was happy.” She sighs. “I shouldn’t say anything, but I love Sam and want to see her happy.”
I nod, showing her I understand.
“Do you like Sam, Al?” she asks, looking me right in the eye as if my gaze will hold the answers she’s looking for.
“I do,” I admit. I want to add that I’m leaving soon so it doesn’t matter either way, but I don’t know if I’m leaving soon. I don’t know what’s happening but the thought of leaving this ranch causes anxiety to swell in my chest.
“I mean like-like her, not hook-up-like her,” she says, and I place my fork on my plate, swiping at the scruff along my jawline.
“I do, but I’m leaving. I can’t stay here. I have to head home, look for a new job, possibly a new apartment,” I explain.
“So why are you still here, then? Why are you wanting to spend Christmas in Sam’s house with Sam’s family?” she asks, and it’s a fair question.
I know I’m staring at her blankly. And she sits quietly and watches me. A thought goes off in my head and Kell nods. “Exactly,” she says.
I don’t know what to say.
“You don’t have to admit anything to me, handsome. Just don’t go breaking my girl’s heart. She’s been hurt enough.”
“She won’t talk to me,” I blurt out.
Kell pauses and nods her head. “Everything that girl has ever loved has been taken from her. You can’t blame her for wanting to protect her heart from you.”
“You talking about her mother? She told me she lost her at a young age,” I say, knowing I’m prying but someone has to give me some information. I’ll even take scraps.
“There’s that too.” Kell nods, which tells me there’s more. What is it? “It isn’t for me to say,” she explains.
“I understand.”
“No, you don’t.” she says, surprising me. “But if you want to understand you got to show her you’re in for the long haul. First, you need to figure out if she’s what you want. If she isn’t what you want, then go be with your sister for Christmas. No hard feelings here.” Kell nods, takes the last few bites of her pie, and leaves.
Whoa. That’s a lot to digest over a piece of pie. I finish my slice and Kell’s words ring through my head. I could have left a hundred times over, but I stayed because this is where I want to be. Cleaning cow shit is cathartic, and I like being around Sam. She’s different from any woman I’ve dated before. My mind tells me to leave and get my life back together, but my heart is rooted here on this ranch … with her. I want her to open up to me, but I can’t expect her to be all in when I haven’t given her a reason to trust my intentions. Hell, until five minutes ago, I didn’t know what my intentions were. I don’t want to go hang out with Izzy over Christmas and just wallow in self-pity. I want to stay here with the Belmonts. I want to spend time with Sam, get to know everything about her, and make her mine. I startle from my own thoughts.
It’s been a long time since I was this possessive over a woman. I promised myself I would never fall in love again. Not only because things ended badly with Brie but because of the way I grew up. Commitment in marriage was non-existent in my world. In Brie’s world too. I thought Brie and I created something special together. W
e didn’t. The ugliness of our world broke our relationship. Loving her was a mistake. One I never wanted to repeat. Until now.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sam
Mack is freaking the hell out that I’ve allowed a stranger to stay in our house. Autumn is trying to tell her that Al isn’t dangerous. She goes off on some rant about his affairs in Chicago, and it doesn’t make him sound too good. My sister has always thought I practice poor judgment, and now she has another misdemeanor to add to her list.
“Mack, he’s been helping out on the ranch. He’s a good worker. With Papa gone this week, he’s been a huge help. You have no idea how tiring it is to work here day in and day out.” I let out a tired breath and fall back into the rocking chair that’s been in her room since we were small. Mama use to rock us to sleep in this chair. When we got older, Mama held a coin toss for who would get to keep the chair. Mack won.
Mack rubs a hand over her lips. “You’re right. I don’t understand how hard it is to work here because I never worked here. I promised Mama I wouldn’t,” she says and then flinches. Lord knows why she flinches. She’s made that comment more times than I care to keep count. I’m the fuckup. The one who didn’t keep her promise to Mama. The one still busting her ass with Papa on this ranch. Mack and Papa have a tense relationship. She was older when Mama died, so I think she understood a lot more about my parents’ marriage than I did. Papa didn’t treat Mama well. He didn’t talk nice or treat her with respect. At least that’s what Mack says. She doesn’t understand how I’ve spent all this time out here helping him. He may not have done much while I was growing up, but I loved him because he was my father, and after Mama died, he was my only parent. Even if he doesn’t act like it, he’s the only blood relative we have.
“Well, Ms. Attorney, kudos to you for keeping your promise.” I stand from the rocker. I hate that Ethan is witnessing this fight. I don’t see him often, and I would have wanted our time together to be filled with positive memories.
“Ethan, you want to come for dinner to Cracker Barrel?” I ask, smiling down to him.
Autumn takes a step toward Mack and places a hand on her shoulder. “We should all go to dinner together,” she says. “If Sam is comfortable with Al being here and helping out, then who are we to judge?” she gives Mack a sympathetic look. I want to walk out of here and slam the door in their face, but they are the only family I’ve got, so I put up with their judgmental bullshit.
Mack shrugs and I bite down on the inside of my lip, hoping to curb my hot temper right now. “Yeah, okay,” she concedes as if she’s doing me a favor. She looks up to me. “I’m sorry, Sam. You deserve a lot of credit for staying here and working your ass off. I hate that you do it because … well, you know why, but I do respect your hard work. You’re a fine rancher and Papa should be proud of you. I wanted something else for you is all. I don’t mean to come across so harsh. I really don’t.” She stands from her bed, and her eyes well with tears.
“I know,” I answer, my tone soft like butter. Mack has that effect on me. We fight. We butt heads, but at the end of the day she’s all I got. I love her. I give her a hug, and she squeezes me harder.
“I want the best for you, Button,” she says, calling me by my childhood nickname.
“I appreciate that. I know I’ve made poor decisions in the past, but I want to assure you that I have my head on straight where Al is concerned. Besides, he’s leaving soon, and things will go back to normal around here.” I pull away.
“’Kay give us half an hour to take showers and get dressed,” she says. I ruffle Ethan’s hair as I turn to leave the room. I head downstairs and am relieved Al is nowhere in sight. I was worried he may have overheard the conversation. I quickly shoot Blake a text. There’s no way I can meet him now.
Me: Heading out to dinner with Mack, Autumn, and Ethan.
It doesn’t take him long to answer.
Blake: Meet me after. I’m growing impatient. Are you sleeping with him?
Fucking Blake. It’s none of his business. I know he hooks up with other women, so I hate that he’s acting like my boyfriend now.
Me: You aren’t my boyfriend. I’m not answering your questions. I’ll text you after dinner.
Blake: Good.
I tuck my phone in my back pocket and head to my bedroom. Al is lying on my bed, freshly showered in a pair of pajama pants. He’s also shirtless. Frustration and want builds in my chest.
“I’m heading out to dinner soon with Autumn, Mack, and Ethan,” I say, but I don’t invite him along.
He nods but doesn’t say anything. It’s bitchy of me not to invite him, but it’s for the best. We need to maintain distance.
“Yeah, sure,” he answers quietly.
I head to my closet to grab clean clothes so I can get dressed in the bathroom after my shower. When I turn around, he is standing in my face. The fresh scent of his shower gel wafts off his body.
“I want to stay here with you for Christmas,” he says and pauses. I already know that. That’s why he’s still here.
“I know.”
“No, I mean I want to get to know you better. I like you. I don’t know where this will lead, but I’d like to stay and find out.” He takes a large gulp and looks to me expectantly.
I feel off balance. I’m not expecting those words to come from his mouth. I swallow hard, hating how much his close proximity affects me.
“Say something,” he says, looking deep into my eyes.
“I don’t know what to say,” I answer quietly, hoping to hide the tumult inside me. My heart beats faster. My blood pumps harder. I want to kiss the hell out of him and fuck him senseless all at once. I keep my poker face. “There’s nothing here.” I point to the space between us.
The warmth in his eyes turns cold. “I’m calling bullshit, Sam. There’s something between us. You know it and I know it. It scares the shit out of me, but for the first time in my life, I don’t want to run. I want to stay and see where it will lead because I’ve never felt this way before.” His throat bobs and his stare drops to my lips. He’s moving in to kiss me, and I can’t let him do that. As badly as I want him to, I just can’t.
I take a step back and place my palm on his chest. “Don’t.”
“Don’t?” he repeats and a look of shock hangs over his handsome face.
“I need to go to dinner. I can’t do this with you now.” I step away from him, and he punches the wall and cries out. This part of the house has cement walls. It must hurt.
“I’m not leaving, Sam. I don’t know what you’ve been through or what makes you scared to take a chance on me, but I’m not leaving,” he warns, and his voice is determined and commanding. I leave my room and make my way to the bathroom down the hall. I fear our houseguests have heard him. Why has he had a change of heart? He told me himself he doesn’t do relationships. I begin to wonder what he’s been through that he’s avoided a serious relationship. He has a good heart, he’s good looking, attentive…a real catch. I’m thinking that Al has some secrets of his own.
I can’t get to the bathroom fast enough, and when I do, the first thing I do is lock the door and break down and cry in silence.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Al
I can’t help but overhear part of the argument going on upstairs. Mack seems pretty intense. I can imagine it was hard for Sam growing up in Mack’s shadow. She has her shit together, got a degree. She’s successful. She also puts Sam down. There must have been a lot of pressure on Sam growing up with Mack constantly on her case.
They all head out to the Cracker Barrel for dinner. I got dressed while Sam was in the shower, and now I’m in the kitchen staring at a raw turkey. I wrap it and put in the fridge since they forgot about it. Her sister and her wife brought a raw turkey and nothing else. With time on my hands, I take Sam’s truck and head to the supermarket. They took the rental to dinner which worked out well for me. I realize I’ve taken her truck without permission, but I hope to be back before
they return. Besides, I have good intentions.
I don’t know where the hell I’m going, but now that I have my cell phone, I use the app Waze to find my way. I find myself in Grand Junction at a larger supermarket, which probably works out better because the last supermarket Sam took me to was small and didn’t have a good selection. This place also has a prepared foods section. I’d like to buy a cookbook and make Sam and her family the best home-cooked Christmas dinner ever, but I’m not talented in the kitchen. No need to pretend I’m something I’m not. I buy a cooked turkey, a ham, and different kinds of stuffing. I figure if the food is fresh from today, it will be perfect for a Christmas dinner tomorrow.
With a cart full of food, I stop by the bakery and pick up a large red velvet cake with festive decorations. I don’t know how the Belmonts have done Christmas before, but this year I want them to have it all. My family puts on a show of having a big meal and spending time together, but it’s just that—a show. The Belmonts say it like it is, and even though they’ve had a tough go, the love and dedication is there. It oozes from their pores. Even a stranger can sense it.
On the way back to the ranch, I stop at Chipotle’s and order a bunch of things from the menu to go since I worry about Sam returning to the ranch and finding her truck gone. I stop for gas on the way and fill up her tank, and then I’m gunning it back to the ranch since the roads are clear. I pull up to the drive and take all the groceries out of the car, holding fifteen bags at once in my hands along with my dinner. I tuck everything in the fridge and sit in a recliner across from the TV to eat my dinner. I finish eating and throw away the empty containers of food. They still aren’t back, so I give my sister a call.
She picks up on the first ring. “Hey, Big Brother. Why does it feel like you’ve ditched me?”
I laugh. “I haven’t ditched you. Besides you have company out there. You aren’t alone,” I remind her.
“I know. I was hoping we could do Christmas together this year. I also wanted you to meet Tristan,” she says. From what she’s told me, they’ve been together two months, which is a long stretch for Izzy.
Mr. So Wrong Page 14