Wicked Words

by M. J. Scott

  Cassandra nodded. In the harsh light of the game room, she looked tired, too, not even the bright red sweater she wore distracting from the shadows under her eyes. Normally she exuded energy that meant I never thought of her as old, but tonight, I was aware that she carried more years than the rest of us. "I can't argue with that logic." She turned to Mitch. "And you have ample evidence that Maggie knows what to do if we hit the worst-case scenario and something gets through."

  Damon's gaze was fixed on mine. "If Maggie is going to stay, then we should move to another suite. They’re more comfortable, and we need somewhere with two bedrooms."

  The weight of his eyes on me made my blush deepen. I had the feeling one bedroom would be just fine with him. But it seemed safer to blame that on him having hit his head.

  Eventually he turned his gaze to Mitch. "How about the suites near building twelve? They're the most secure."

  Mitch nodded. "I'd agree they’re our best bet." He turned to Ajax. "You go over there, do a sweep, check everything out. Call me when you're all set."

  "I'll go with him," Lizzie said. "I can do our sort of sweep. Radha, maybe you should check Maggie out, too. Just in case." She raised her eyebrows at me as though daring me to object. If I did, I was sure she'd just rat me out to Cassandra about the panic attack. I stayed silent.

  Cassandra nodded. "That's a good idea. I want to talk to Maggie, too."

  Oh joy. I closed my eyes a moment, suddenly exhausted. The thought of a lecture from Cassandra was a step too far.

  "I'll go back to the clinic and grab some things, take them over to the suite, just in case they're needed later," Dr. Chen said. I opened my eyes again. "Maggie, I'll send you some details about things to watch for with Damon and the medications I'll leave for him." She fixed Damon with a stern gaze. "I'd give you a sleeping tablet if I was happier that you had no head injury. But I can't do that. So I'll just tell you that you need to rest. Both of you, by the look of you. Get some sleep, and we'll talk again in the morning."

  She and Ajax and Lizzie left the room together.

  “Maggie, why don't you take a seat on the other game chair?" Radha said. "Let me take a look at you."

  I did as she asked, somewhat amused that she knew what a game chair was. I had a hard time picturing her running around a virtual world killing monsters. She was always so elegant and contained. But what did I know? Maybe that was how she blew off steam so she could be elegant and contained.

  Radha took my pulse, then bent to look in my eyes. She made a displeased sort of humming sound, then rested her hands on either side of my head. "Close your eyes."

  I obeyed, concentrated on breathing. There was a tingling sensation, as though I'd brushed up against something full of static, that rapidly dissolved into something more soothing, like a mild warm breeze traveling over my skin.

  It melted away slowly. I opened my eyes again.

  "Fatigue, mostly," Radha said, talking to Cassandra. "She used a lot of power, and she's out of practice." She looked at me. "Sleep would be best for you, too." She raised an eyebrow. "But it's getting late already, and tomorrow will be busy. So I can give you an energy boost for now. Don't use it as an excuse to sit up all night."

  I didn't think there'd be much chance of that. The prospect of crawling into bed was pretty enticing. But then Radha laid her hands on me again. This time the sensation that swept through me was more like a jolt of adrenaline. The good kind, if there was such a thing. My fatigue vanished as though I'd just had twelve hours’ sleep. Now that was a trick that could come in handy. I wondered if I could learn to do it for myself.

  I smiled, and Radha said, "I mean it. You still need to rest even though you might not feel like it. Otherwise you'll just crash even harder. Probably at an inconvenient time. You hear me, Maggie?"

  "Yes," I said meekly, but almost immediately I found myself on my feet, the urge to move strong.

  "I'll have what she's having," Damon said, sounding exhausted.

  "You'll get sleep," Cassandra said. "Mitch, how much longer do you think it will take for Ajax to do his sweep? How far is this other building?"

  "About five minutes away," Mitch said. "It’ll take him maybe thirty minutes to do a thorough sweep. How long will Lizzie need?"

  "About the same," Cassandra said. "Which means there's time for tea.” She rummaged in her huge purse and pulled out a small metal canister. "Maggie, come help me. I think I saw a kitchen back there."

  I nodded. I'd had tea with Lizzie, but clearly Cassandra wanted to talk to me alone.

  I showed her the kitchen and watched as she sniffed at the lack of a teapot.

  Undeterred, she pulled a couple of tea infuser balls out of her bag—making me wonder exactly what else she was carting around in it—and set the kettle to boil.

  "Was there something you wanted to ask me?" I said.

  "No, I'm sure Lizzie will fill me in about what happened."

  O-kay, then. I wasn’t sure why she’d dragged me out here. "Do you think we'll find who's doing this?”

  "Two attacks in one day," Cassandra said. "I don't think we'll have to try very hard. I'm not sure exactly what's set all of this off all of a sudden, but whoever is behind it all seems to be in a hurry. So if you find Radha's boost means you're not sleepy, I suggest you read that book I gave you. Start with the parts on shielding."

  She turned back to the kettle as it began to beep. I got the message. Homework. And the pop quiz in the morning could be life or death.

  "What are you reading?" Damon's voice was soft and slightly scratchy.

  I jumped and shielded the light coming from my datapad. "Just something Cassandra gave me." I put the book down. "Do you feel all right? Do you need anything?"

  "What time is it?"

  The room was mostly dark, but I could still make out the outline of his body as he shifted under the sheets, propping himself up on his good arm.

  "Late," I said. It had been after two when I'd last checked the time. After we'd been moved to the suite and Cassandra and Lizzie set up wards to reinforce Riley's security systems, Cassandra sent Damon off to bed with a touch of something I had to assume was the opposite of what Radha had given me by the way he'd started yawning as soon as she'd finished.

  He'd already fallen asleep by the time I'd shooed everyone out and gone to check on him. I, silly as it was, hadn't wanted to leave him alone. So I'd settled myself into the armchair in the corner of the bedroom he'd chosen and started reading about magic again.

  It was tempting to try some of the spells, but I didn't want Damon to wake up because I accidentally set off the wards or something worse. I read about shields as Cassandra suggested, which made my brain hurt a little as I tried to follow the theory. Then I'd skipped around, looking for stuff that sounded interesting. Like how to give someone the sort of nudges Cassandra had given Damon. Or the opposite. How spells could be connected or pulled apart. Of course, the knowledge was, at this point, purely theoretical, but I couldn't deny it held my interest. Or at least distracted me from Damon's sleeping form and the sneaking temptation to lie down beside him.

  "How late?" Damon asked.

  "Three, maybe? Go back to sleep."

  He ignored me. "What are you doing up?"

  He didn't ask me what I was doing in his room, which was a relief. I wasn't entirely sure I could explain my decision.

  "Just checking on you. I didn't mean to wake you. So go back to sleep."

  "I've been sleeping," he pointed out.

  "I'm pretty sure Radha was aiming for you to get at least eight hours rather than two or three."

  "Well, she should have given me the good drugs, then."

  He sounded grumpy. Was his arm hurting? "Doc Chen left painkillers. I can get them for you."

  "No. Nothing hurts. I'm just awake. It's not that unusual these days."

  "You haven't been sleeping well?" When we were together, he'd slept like a log—well, apart from the hours he'd spent giving me world-class orgasms. An
d with him beside me, even my insomnia had eased off. The thought of him not sleeping well made me weirdly sad.

  "I sleep okay. There's just been a lot to do. Not enough hours in the day."

  I couldn't see his face clearly, so I didn't know if that was the truth. I mean, I knew the man threw himself tirelessly into his work. You didn't build what he had without that. But even masters of the universe needed sleep. "Well, there's still hours left in this day."

  "I'll sleep if you sleep," he said.

  I hesitated. I wanted him to sleep but was reluctant to leave him alone. Sure, I could go into another room for a while until he went to sleep again, then resume my now not-so-secret vigil, but even that made me feel uneasy. Which was probably just me being paranoid, but there it was.

  Sometimes it was better to go with instinct.

  "I'll sleep later," I said. "You sleep now."

  "I'll sleep if you come lie beside me, at least," he said. "That chair can't be comfortable."

  I froze, forgetting how to breathe for a moment. He wanted me to what?

  My brain stuttered back into gear. "I don't think that's a very good idea."

  "If you come lie down here, I can tell you what I was going to say."

  It took me a moment to make the connection. He meant what he'd been going to tell me before he'd so inconveniently collapsed. My skin prickled to life with a combination of nerves and heat. I wanted to know what he had to say. I also wanted to run before he could.

  "How about you tell me first, then we'll see?" I countered.

  He chuckled softly. "No. I want to be able to see your face when I tell you. You're just a gray blob over there."

  "I'll turn the lights on," I said.

  "Well, then I'll be wide awake."

  I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. "Are you five?"

  "No," he said. "But this day has been, as Benji or Eli would say, jagged up, and quite frankly painful, and yet through it all, the one good thing has been that you've been here with me. I know how you feel about...us. I respect it. But even if we can only be friends, can't you be my friend right now and come here and hold my hand against the dark?"

  His voice was both rough and wistful, and it appealed to a part of my brain that had nothing to do with reason, tugging straight on my heart, easing the part of it that had ached since we'd been apart. "If I lie down on that bed with you, that's all that's going to happen," I said.

  "Maggie, I'm not sure I have the energy to do anything more exciting than that, even if you wanted me to."

  I wasn't sure I trusted that. But I wanted to believe him. I'd spent a lot of sleepless, lonely nights with an empty bed. No warm solid male body to reach out and wrap his arms around me and pull me close. And maybe this wasn't that, but in the darkness and the strangeness of it all, I knew I was going to give in. Just for a few hours, maybe I could lie beside him and pretend everything was okay again.

  "All right," I said softly. I put the datapad down, laying it on top of the book, and slipped off my boots. The rest of my clothes I left on. That seemed like another layer of reminders that I had to be smart when it came to Damon.

  I walked around the bed and eased myself down onto the mattress.

  "Lie down," he said softly.

  Damn the man. He could probably tempt an angel into breaking into hell for him.

  I swung my leg up and around and inched closer to him, almost holding my breath, as though I was expecting the mattress to catch fire or something. I stopped when our bodies were maybe twenty inches apart. Close enough to be safe. To keep my grip on sanity.

  Damon had kicked off the blankets at some point when he was sleeping, leaving him covered only with a sheet. I hadn't wanted to risk waking him, so I hadn't picked the covers back up. Now I was regretting that choice, all too aware that nothing but a thin layer of cotton separated me from his bare chest and, well, what I hoped were the usual boxer briefs he slept in.

  "Happy now?" I asked softly.

  "Happier," he said.

  My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and I could make out the lines and angles of his face and the whites of his eyes as he watched me. At least the color was darkened to a shade of gray. No blue to lure me in. But then, gray had its own dangers. Too many layers and shades of it between us. Too many memories and missteps and fractures.

  I should remember that and stay safely where I was. But I couldn't resist asking, "What was it you were going to say?"

  He took a long breath. "Where did I get to?"

  "You said you missed me.” The answer came fast and certain, and I flinched a little, knowing the fact that I remembered it so clearly meant it had hit closer to home than I wanted it to.

  "Ah." The sound was half a sigh, accompanied by a rustle and slide of cotton over skin as he moved slightly in the dark. The air smelled like him, and I could sense the heat of his body, so close. Still so far. Out of limits.

  "I did miss you," he said softly. "I do miss you. And I'm sorry. For what I did. Leaving you that way. That was a dick move."

  "You told me the truth."

  "Maybe," he said. "Or maybe I was just running."

  "Ah," I said, echoing him. "I know a little about that." Running for my life. Running from pain. Running from things had never really gotten me anywhere that I wanted to be.

  And suddenly I knew I wanted to run to something for once. Even if it was for a night, for an hour or two if that was all we had. Even if it left me with more regrets in the morning. Damon and I had never had a true ending, a resolution that meant I could put him behind me. Maybe it was stupid to think that, there in the dark, I could find a way to have that. Or if I even wanted to.

  But I did want him. And lying there, so close I could, I fancied, almost hear the thump of his heart. That same reassuring beat I'd hear if I just moved closer. If I laid my head on his chest and asked him to put his arms around me.

  But I wanted more than comfort and closeness. I wanted something to chase everything away. To let me just be. To let me feel good. And if I knew one thing about Damon Riley, it was that he was the one who could do that for me.

  "It was stupid," he said. "Selfish. You deserved better."

  "So you owe me one?" I said. I inched closer on the mattress and felt him tense.

  "I guess so," he said, tone very careful. Like a man who didn't want to scare a wild creature away.

  "Then maybe it's time to pay up," I said and kissed him.

  He stayed still for a moment before he kissed me back. Not as fierce as I'd been expecting. Gentle. As though he was kissing something precious. As though I was something precious. Something that might melt away and vanish if he did the wrong thing.

  Maybe I would.

  But right then I wanted to melt in other ways. I pressed myself closer, easing my arms around his neck.

  "Maggie, are you sure about this?"

  It was a reasonable question, given the speeches I'd thrown at him only hours ago. A question I couldn't answer “Yes” to. I wasn't sure. Not about whether this was a good idea. But I was sure I was going to do it anyway.

  "I want this," I said. "I want you. If that's on the table?"

  He laughed then, the sound spilling around me. "God, yes," he said, and then he kissed me again. This time he wasn't so gentle. This time his lips were hungry, coaxing mine open until our tongues touched and the taste of him flooded my mouth.

  At the same time, his hands went to the bottom of my tee, lifting it up. I lifted my arms so he could slip it off me, then reached for the buttons at my waistband, all the while kissing him wildly.

  Damn it, I had missed this. All those nights I'd fought against remembering, this was what I'd been fighting off. The memory of his touch and the way he knew exactly how to set me alight. My jeans joined my shirt, and I gasped as his mouth moved lower, licking kisses of fire against my skin, against neck and collarbone and chest until it settled over one of my nipples under the lace of my bra. Even without skin-on-skin contact, it was enoug
h to send me arcing off the bed.

  The noise I made was needy, and he went to work driving me crazy. He hadn't forgotten the things I liked. The things he'd learned in the short time we'd had together. Where I needed hard and soft. Where he could push me to the edge of pain, perhaps, to feed the fire between us. I tangled my hands into his hair, tugging him closer, urging him on.

  He pushed the sheet away, pulling me onto his lap. I straddled him, moaning louder when the heavy length of him pressed against me.

  I fell into the sensation, glorying in his mouth on mine as I rocked into him. His breath was as loud as mine in the darkness as we played with touch and taste.

  This. All of this. This was what I wanted.

  I slid my hand down between us and into his briefs, closing my fingers around him.

  "Christ, Maggie," he breathed when he finally tore his mouth away from me. Even one-handed, he managed to flick the catch of my bra open, the straps falling down my arms. I shrugged it off, arching my back just to see his expression turn avid again.

  His hands tugged me closer again, a groan escaping him as I stroked his cock. The sound vibrated through my lips and down every nerve ending in my body. I shifted slightly, pulling his briefs farther down. One of his hands steadied me while the other pulled the crotch of my panties out of the way.

  I wasn't even sure what I was saying or what he was either as I slid down over him, shaking now from the need to be with him. Both of us froze a moment, the only movement our chests heaving. He pushed my hair back from my face.

  "Maggie." This time it was reverence, not lust, coloring my name.

  I'd thought we'd be wild and frantic, but suddenly, everything slowed. The kiss he pulled me down to was hungry but gentle, and it spun through my veins like smoked honey. The taste of him under my tongue was as addictive as the slow roll of his hips driving up into me, a sensation as electric as any touch of magic. I didn't need to look to know his aura would be blue fire. There was enough fire melting through me, narrowing the world to Damon, Damon, Damon.