Talia started to cry at that point, so the judge asked her if she needed a break, but she said no.
She was asked to continue. Talia continued, “Daddy would call Mommy bad names and he sometimes slapped her, shoved her, and cursed at her. Once he held her head in a pillow and told her that she was a no-good …” Talia paused.
“Go on,” the judge interrupted.
“He called her a no-good hoe,” Talia finished, and began crying again.
“Let’s take a five-minute recess,” the judge said.
At the end of the break, Talia came back to the stand to finish her testimony. She said, “Sometimes I tried to stop Daddy when he was being mean to Mommy, but he would whack me across my butt, and he said that if I ever tried to get in grown folks’ business again, he would send me to foster care and I would never see them again, so I did not do it again,” she said as she sobbed a little. “Mommy always told me not to tell anyone or they would come and take us away from her, and so I promised her that I would not say anything. Am I in trouble for not saying anything, Your Honor?” Talia asked.
The judge responded, “No, you are not in trouble; you were just trying to be a good little girl for your mom. But may I tell you something, Talia?” the judge asked.
“Yes ma’am,” Talia answered.
“If what you are saying to me is the truth, and it is true right, because it would be wrong to not tell the truth, then I want you to know that you are one of the bravest little girls I know, because you were trying to protect your mom and there is nothing wrong with that. What I do want to explain to you is that it is not okay for anyone to treat another person in a way that makes them feel threatened or afraid; do you understand what I am saying?”
Talia nodded.
“Every person on this earth has a right to live free from fear. It is not okay for anyone to bully another person, or do the things which you described. So in the future, if you ever see anything like that happen to anyone, I want you to be brave and tell someone so that they can get help, okay? Promise me that you will not remain silent even if you are afraid, alright?”
“I promise,” Talia said with a smile.
“Alright,” the judge said. “You have been a brave girl. Is there anything else that you want to tell the court?
“No ma’am,” Talia said.
“Then you may go back to your seat.”
“Ok.”
Trisha took the stand next. The bailiff swore her in and she told the court every sordid detail of her childhood with Mom and Harry. The courtroom was silent, and all eyes were on her as she told what had happened to her.
Finally, Mom took the stand after she was sworn in, and began her testimony.
She said, “When I met Harry I was just a kid myself. My parents died when I was very young and I had to do what was necessary to survive. I only had the equivalent of a ninth-grade education so my only options were low-paying jobs. I waitressed and bartended for the majority of my young life. I have made a lot of mistakes along the way, but I have done the best that I could to take care of my family. Trisha is my oldest, and to tell you the truth, I have not done right by her. She had way too much on her plate at her age. I was very hard on her and I have been unfair to her. She has missed out on a normal childhood because she was busy raising her brother and sister. I was not able to spend time with her and teach her how to be a young woman because, frankly, I only learned by trial and error, mostly error. When Harry came into our lives, Trisha was only a baby. He was the only father she had ever known. My youngest two are his children and he really did not treat my girl right.”
Mom fidgeted with her fingers for a moment before she continued.
“I was hoping that my girl would turn out to be different from me. You see, she is smart and she is sharp.” Mom started to tear up as she continued. “She is not like me. She is confident, and nothing gets by her. I could tell that she was going to be somebody; despite all of the setbacks that we have had, Trisha always managed to see the bright side of everything. I would hear her tell her brother and sister all the time that everything was going to be okay. In many ways, she has been my rock. I know it was unfair for me to put such a burden on such a young child, but she was my ray of hope.
“My babies’ daddy, Harry, he was a troubled soul. I know you may be wondering why I did not leave him. I wondered that on many occasions as well. Well, we have been together off and on for almost twenty-two years, and at first I said that I could not leave because we had too much time invested, and then I said that the children were too young, then it was because I could not afford to live on my salary alone, not that his made a huge difference. Then it was because I didn’t want the children to grow up without their father, then it was because he needed me because I was the only one who truly knew him. Eventually, I stopped making excuses for him and I decided that this was the hand that I was dealt so I just accepted it. Truth be told, I stayed because I was afraid, afraid of standing on my own two feet, afraid of failing yet again, afraid of facing the backlash of another failed relationship, afraid of the questions that my children would ask me, questions that I was not prepared to answer. I stayed because it was easier for me to struggle with someone than to fail on my own.
“I stayed because I was a coward; I put my fear ahead of the well-being of my children. I accepted the abuse because I was too weak to stand alone; because of me, that monster terrorized my family while I stood on the sidelines and watched. He knew that I was afraid to stand alone, and so he used my fears to his advantage. Instead of me teaching my children how to stand on principle, I taught them how to cower in fear. It’s my fault that my kids were afraid to be alone at night. It’s my fault that they are not properly socialized. It’s my fault that my baby was afraid to ask for help. It’s my fault. I taught them how to hide the truth, and how to bottle up their emotions; it’s my fault that we are here today. Had I been a strong individual, we would not be here. I let him beat me and beat my kids, I allowed him to demean me, and call me out my name. I allowed him to demoralize me in front of my children, and I allowed him to take my identity. In fact, he did not take it, I relinquished it. I allowed myself to lose my voice. I did not stand up to him when I should have, and that is the reason that we are here today. I allowed him to molest my baby because I did not empower her. I made her feel like she was all alone in this world. I left my babies in that house with that man knowing that he was evil. I did that. I left my baby defenseless, I did. I did not protect them, and for that, I should be punished. It was selfish of me to stay. I know that now and I accept responsibility for my inability to act before now.
“Your Honor, I am not a violent person. I have never been in trouble with the law before, but for the first time in my life I put the needs of my children ahead of my own. My baby, who is all grown up now, sat down with me for the first time to tell me about all that happened to her right under my nose; it was right under my nose and I did not detect it. What kind of a mother am I that I could not detect the vilest of actions taking place in my house? When she said it to me, I knew that if I did not stop him, he would not stop. The thought of him doing that to my baby and then crawling into bed with me, that broke me, Your Honor. I lost it, the only thing that went through my mind was if he could do it to a child that he raised, what was to stop him from going after his own daughter… I zoned out and my body was in control of itself. Even at the end of it all, the only thing that I could think about was how could he do that to a child he raised. I do not condone violence, Your Honor, but I am glad that he is no longer here to enslave us. I am prepared to face whatever the-consequences are knowing that my babies are safe.”
“Trisha, I am entrusting them into your care because I know with all of my heart that you will protect them. I know that you will not allow danger in any way, shape, or form to hurt them. I believe that you will do all in your power to care for them until I am able to care for the
m again. Please forgive me for not being there for you and your brother and sister. Be better than I was. Let this be a lesson to you to try to always make the right decisions. The right decision will not always be the easiest decision, but it is always the best decision. Do not compromise your morals for anyone, no matter how much you think that you love him or her, because love is fleeting. Always stand on principle, know your worth, and never sell yourself short, you hear me,” Mom said with tears in her eyes. “I love you, you are my pride and joy, and I am so very proud of you.”
Mom looked at the judge and said, “I am done, Your Honor.”
The judge gave some instructions, and the court was dismissed. Trisha sobbed uncontrollably at the back of the courtroom. Never had she felt so close to anyone in her life; she was just amazed at the woman her mother was. Trisha had no idea. Mom had truly impressed her. Trisha thought to herself, “All of that was bottled on the inside of Mom. Oh, if we could start over, my life would be so different if I had the lady on the stand as my mom.” The thought of all the missed opportunities for her and Mom to bond made Trisha weep even more. “Oh, the talks we could have had, the laughs, the experiences. I have been robbed, I’ve been robbed of my opportunity to have a great relationship with my mother.”
Leo tried to comfort Trisha but she kept crying and moaning.
“Shh,” he said, “it will all be okay.”
“How will it”, Trisha asked. “Mom is going to jail for a long time and I am going to have to raise Antoine and Talia all alone.”
“You don’t know that, Trisha, and you will not be alone. I will be right here to help you.”
At that moment, Trisha raised her head up off of Leo’s shoulder. She had been so caught up with all that was going on with Mom and the trial that she totally forgot about her issue with Leo.
She wiped away the tears from her eyes and said, “Leo, excuse me a moment, I need to go to the restroom.”
“Of course,” he said, “I will be right here when you get back.”
Trisha stepped past him and exited the courtroom. A short time later she returned and sat quietly next to Leo.
He turned to her and said, “Hey, how about we go and grab a bite to eat while we wait for the jury to deliberate. My lawyer will call as soon as they are ready. You will not miss anything.”
Trisha replied, “I am not really hungry, Leo.”
Leo said, “Trisha, you have not eaten all day, you must be hungry. At least let me get you a coffee and a sandwich. There is nothing that we can do in the meantime anyway. There is a cafeteria just down the hallway.”
“Fine,” Trisha responded, “I guess you are right.”
They headed down the hall to the cafeteria and Trisha sat as Leo got the food and drinks. A few minutes later, he returned to the table, “Here you go,” he said, “one large White Mocha and a Turkey Club for you.”
“Thank you,” Trisha said.
“Of course,” Leo said.
Trisha stared at the cup for a minute and then took a sip. Leo looked at her with concern in his eyes, and asked, “Are you going to be okay, Trisha? You have had to endure so much.”
He paused a moment and then continued. “I am truly sorry for what I have done to you. I feel terrible.”
A lump formed in Trisha’s throat, and her eyes teared up, “Leo,” she interrupted, “Please not now. I cannot deal with this right now, and there is enough on my plate at the moment.”
“I know that there is,” Leo said. “I just wanted you to know that I am sorry.” He reached out to touch Trisha’s hand, and like a knee-jerk reaction, she picked up her coffee and took a sip, so he placed his hand on the table, and said, “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Leo,” Trisha said, “now is not the time to have this conversation. I cannot think rationally right now; perhaps we should head back to the courtroom.”
“You have not touched your sandwich,” Leo said.
“I will take it with me,” Trisha returned.
As they walked back to the courtroom, Leo’s phone rang. It was his lawyer, calling to let him know that the verdict was in. He and Trisha ran the rest of the way. When they got there, everyone was about to be seated, so they quickly took a seat and waited to hear the result. The judge read the verdict and asked Mom to stand. The judge asked the head juror, “Have you reached a verdict?”
“We have, Your Honor.”
“What is your verdict?”
“We the jury find the defendant guilty of voluntary manslaughter.”
The judge looked at Mom for a moment and said, “Ms. Whitaker, the crime you have been found guilty of is a very serious one and carries a penalty of up to ten years.” Trisha her chest as if she felt tremendous pain. Leo leaned in to support her. The judge continued.
“I, however, have taken into consideration all of the evidence, along with the testimony of your children, and I hereby sentence you to five years’ probation pending the outcome of another psyche evaluation. I think that it is imperative that you to receive help. I am ordering you to complete one-hundred-and-thirty-six hours of family counseling and you must check in twice a week with a corrections officer. I will grant temporary custody of your younger children to your daughter Trisha, as she is old enough by law to become a guardian, and it is not the intent of this court to separate families. A representative from Child Care will routinely check up on them and she will receive whatever assistance is necessary. Once you have completed your probation and the counseling, you will return to this court. It is at that time that you will be reevaluated, and if you prove to this court that you can provide a stable environment for your children, then a determination will be made for custody. Best of luck to you all. Case dismissed.”
Trisha was in disbelief, she could not believe that Mom received no prison time. She stood in shock as Mom embraced her as she cried. She could not handle going to visit Mom in prison. Trisha was also happy that she would get to have custody of Antoine and Talia. Mom went with a corrections officer and Trisha left to go fill out the necessary paper work at Child Care, and she left with Antoine and Talia in tow. She took them to lunch and explained to them what had happened with Mom and that she would be responsible for them until Mom was better. Antoine and Talia were relieved that they would not be placed in foster care, and promised to listen to Trisha, and not make trouble. Trisha said, “I am going to hold you two to that promise.”
They all laughed.
She said, “Do not worry, guys, we are going to be okay and Mom is going to be just fine as well. Once this is over, we will all be together again, and our lives will be better. I can promise you that.”
They both gave her a hug and said, “We love you, Trisha.”
She said, “I love you too. Now who wants some ice cream? I am starving. Let’s go get something to eat.”
“Yeah!” they said in unison.
“Alright then, let’s go.”
Later that day, Eric called Trisha to find out the result and to lend his support. Trisha filled him in and he said, “I am here for whatever you need. You just say the word.”
“Thanks, Eric, but what I need right now is some good news from what we discussed. Do you have an update for me?
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Great, let’s hear it.”
“Okay, well, I did make the calls as I promised, and it turns out that the community college an hour away from where you live offers special grants for persons in situations such as yours. You can apply for a grant to take classes at the college and apply for financial assistance to help you with caring of your brother and sister. There is also a public school nearby, and on-campus living arrangements are available. You can also apply for rental assistance.”
Trisha was elated with the news.
“Trisha,” Eric said, “if you are interested, just say the word and I will have my people
make arrangements.”
“Please do, Eric, I have waited long enough. There is no need for further delay; I do not know how I’ll ever repay you.”
“How about dinner once everything has settled?” Eric said.
“I think that I can manage that, Eric. Thank you again for your help.”
“It was my pleasure, Trisha. I am extremely excited for you, and I am glad that I was able to be a part of making your dream a reality. I’ll get right on with the paper work, and I will talk to you soon. Take care.”
“Okay, Eric, I look forward to it. Goodbye.”
Trisha rented a room at the local motel for her and her siblings. She went back to their home and packed up as much of their belongings as she could; she phoned the landlord to say that that they would be relocating, and that she would be back to collect the rest of their things over the next few days. Once she was done, they went to the grocery store and stocked up on all of their favorite snacks. They headed back to the motel and got settled in. They were going to be there until Trisha found them a new place, and with the money that Tony had given to her, there was no need to worry about anything.
Later that evening there was a knock on the door. I wonder who that could be, Trisha thought, I have not told anyone where we are staying. She motioned to the kids to quiet down as she looked through the peephole, only to see Leo standing on the other side of the door.
If Only I Could Tell Page 14