Surrendering

by Ahren Sanders

  “Okay, are you sure? Don’t you need to be working on a song line up or something?”

  “Nah, we got this. We worked all week to make sure we were ready. Besides, when you get this fancy degree and we get famous, you can tell people it was because of my help in the backseat of Declan’s truck.” He winks at me.

  “Watch it, asshole,” Declan jokes.

  “Okay, Nate. I’d love your help. Just read off the terminology on the front, and I’ll try to guess the term it refers to.”

  He quizzes me back and forth and I realize he’s really good. He helps me with clues using acronyms and has the patience of a saint.

  “Nate, you’re good at this. Maybe I need to have you over before every final exam.”

  He smiles slightly and then blushes. “Thanks, I have a special needs sister and I help her with school projects.” I’m shocked, but I can see how his patience could have helped her.

  Outside of Chattanooga, we stop for gas and a bathroom break. When we get back to the truck, Declan hands the keys to Blake to drive and climbs into the back with me.

  “I figured you’re giving up the entire day tomorrow for us so I can at least help with your studying. Why should Nate have all the fun?”

  I kiss him quickly and hand him half the stack of flash cards. Before I know it, Cooper, Nate, and Declan have drilled my entire study guide into my head. I feel like I can read it from memory. When the last question is answered correctly, I gather the flash cards and throw them into my bag.

  “Thank Christ, can I turn on the radio now? I need some music to get that shit out of my head!” Blake screams from the driver’s seat. I feel a little guilty until I see him smiling at me in the mirror.

  For the rest of the ride, we listen to music and laugh at stupid jokes. I texted all the girls the change of plans for tomorrow and they’ve promise to meet at the festival.

  Declan pulls me over to him and pushes my head to his chest. I see the lights of Atlanta ahead and get butterflies in my stomach. I love this city and I’m excited about all possibilities this weekend could bring to Sayge.

  We finally make it to Atlanta and our hotel. We are staying in a residential-type hotel with two bedrooms, a loft, and a kitchenette. I’d rather share a suite with Abbi and Ella, but that’s not possible now that Jimi’s coming. Declan refuses to be in the same ‘surrounding’ as his sister with a guy in her bed. So I get to share the loft bed upstairs with Declan

  After we unload, I take a quick shower and the guys run to the store to load the fridge. By the time I get down the stairs, they’re unpacking groceries, liquor, and beer. There’s enough junk food to give me a fat ass and then some.

  “Hey, guys, did you get anything healthy?”

  “We didn’t, but lover boy, Dec, did. He wore his vagina to the store and picked up a bunch of sissy food,” Cooper answers.

  Declan punches his arm and starts unloading a separate bag filled with all my favorite things. He shrugs his shoulders at me and puts everything away. My phone rings; it’s Abbi. Ella, Jimi, and she are in the parking lot waiting on directions to the room. I motion to Declan to meet them and give them the keys to their room.

  When everyone is settled, we order pizza and start a drinking game. I get to pick so I get out two decks of cards and start a game of Bullshit. I rock at this game and by the third round, everyone has figured it out. Our food finally arrives as we’re finishing up our game and it’s demolished within minutes.

  As the night goes on, the guys bring out their guitars (Declan and Blake) and we head to the pool area to hang out. There’s another group of people already partying when we get there. It’s dark out, but when I see the light blond hair, I recognize Anna from school. She’s with a nice looking guy and a few other couples.

  “Hey Anna, funny running into you here.”

  “Hey, Raven. What are you doing here?”

  “Declan’s band is playing at a winter festival tomorrow. What about you?”

  “Wow, we’re here for the same festival. My cousin will be joining us tomorrow. She loves one of the bands playing.”

  “I’ll look for you. Sayge goes on at 3:30 so if you’re around then, come watch them.” I see her flinch slightly but she nods her head politely. We chit chat for a few more minutes before I say goodbye and walk back to where our group is hanging out.

  Our little jam session quickly grows as other people hear the music and join us. Before long, Declan is taking requests and there are cheers after every song. This goes on for about an hour before we call it a night. Nate talks Abbi and Ella into using the sofa bed in their suite so he doesn’t have to share a bed with Cooper or Blake. He gets his bag and leaves with them.

  When Declan and I get into bed, he situates me so I am partly on top of him. I lay my head on his chest and lightly trail my fingertips over his tattoos.

  “Dec?”

  “Yes?”

  “I know you’re going to be great tomorrow and I want to tell you how proud I am beforehand.”

  “Thanks, Sparkle, I’m glad you’re here.”

  “No place I’d rather be.”

  “I love you.”

  “You too. Sweet dreams.”

  *****

  Jay arrives with a massive envelope of stuff. We all get our backstage passes and the guys have to fill out some forms for the organizers. We go over the festival maps, parking instructions, safety tips, times for performances, and the after show meet and greet. The meet and greet is nothing formal. It’s just an enclosed area where fans can go to get autographs and take pictures after each performance. The music organizers like to keep them to a fifteen minute maximum so the area is empty for the next band to start. Even though Sayge isn’t a well-known band in this area, Jay explains that the audience always loves to get autographs in case they’re the next big hit. The last tidbit of information is there’s a group of rock bloggers there that will be interviewing the group offstage. Their following consists of thousands and Jay encourages the guys to do their best to impress them.

  The guys follow Jay to his car and I grab my purse. When I walk out to the parking lot, I’m surprised to see Declan smoking a cigarette with Cooper. He’s obviously stressed out. I sidle up to him and throw my arms around his waist.

  “So now you’re a smoker?”

  “Yeah, when I’m stressed I smoke a little.”

  I lift up to kiss him. I nibble at his lower lip when he starts to pull away.

  “Don’t be nervous. You guys are awesome.” I take his keys and unlock the doors to the truck.

  I jump into the front with him and everyone else piles in the back. Since we only have one parking pass, the eight of us have to ride together. Ten minutes later, we’re pulling into the assigned parking area. The place is already packed. We check in and drop off the guitars, then go find some place to eat.

  After lunch, we head in different directions. Declan follows me as I browse the vendor booths. I have an hour before I need to meet Charlie, Harper, and Kendall near the stage.

  I stop in front of an artist who has done amazing things with hand crafted wind charms. It’s perfect for Abbi. It would look great on our front porch. I buy one for her and my mom for Christmas gifts and head over to a jewelry booth. I help Declan pick out some pretty pieces for his sisters. We make our way to meet my friends so we can watch the band that plays before Sayge.

  The grassy area in front of the stage is already crowded and the small dancing area in front is filled with bodies cheering on the current group. We decide to stand where we are and watch. Declan situates me in front of him with his arms around my waist. I’m not paying attention to anyone else but him when I feel a pinch on my arm.

  “Hola’ bitch!” Harper smiles at me.

  I reach out to hug my three friends. They give Declan a kiss on the cheek and join us watching the opening group.

  “What do you think of them?” I ask Declan.

  “I think they’re pretty good. Their drummer is a little off with h
is beats, but it could be because of his nerves. The rest of them seem solid and I like their sound. They’ve given me a few ideas. What do you think?”

  “I think they’re okay. Not nearly as good as Sayge, but they have some catchy songs.”

  “Let’s head backstage.”

  I hand the girls their passes and we move to the backstage area. When we get in, I see a fenced off area with a sign that says Reserved for Sayge written on it. Each of the bands has the same set-up. We walk back and find the rest of our friends sitting around drinking beer. There are a few girls I’ve never seen before trying to get Blake, Nate, and Cooper’s attention. Abbi is sitting on Jimi’s lap and rolls her eyes at them.

  “We did some shopping today too.” Ella says when she sees my shopping bags. She winks at me and nods her head toward Declan. All my girlfriends have a secret mission today, to help me with my present for Declan. I found the idea online and I have a deadline to finish it by Monday.

  I grab two beers and head towards Declan. One of the groupies is trying to talk to him and he keeps looking at me for help. I land in his lap and hand him his drink, kissing him quickly. She gives me a dirty look and walks away.

  “What took you so long? She asked if she could run her hands through my hair. I was trying to be polite, but she wouldn’t take the hint.”

  “She wanted to run her hands through your hair? That’s a strange request.”

  “Not the strangest I’ve heard, but gross.”

  I lean down to his ear, “You’ve never told me you think it’s gross.”

  “Baby, that’s because nothing is gross with you.” He starts to kiss me, but Charlie interrupts with choking sounds.

  “Something in your throat, Charlie?” I ask her.

  “Yeah, vomit. Can you two please stop the PDA for a while? It’s a little disgusting.” She shoots back, but she’s smiling.

  The opening band finishes and walks off the stage to the meet and greet area. That’s our group’s clue to get ready. I hug the other guys, but give Declan a deep kiss before he leaves. “Good luck.”

  He squeezes my ass and nips my lip before he joins the others. The rest of us crowd around the side-stage to watch the show. The audience has thickened and there are now hundreds of people in the dance pit, mostly females screaming at the top of their lungs. Each member of Sayge has a solo during the performance and Blake’s draws the biggest response. Their song list is nothing like when they play at The Steamroom. This is what they’ve been working on all week. Even though it’s December, Declan’s sweating. He runs his hands through his hair which makes it stick out; it’s a very sexy look for him. It reminds me of when he gets out of the shower. My stomach rolls and my insides quiver. The look on my face gives me away and Kendall starts laughing next to me.

  “Are you thinking about sex?”

  “Not really, no.” I whisper back.

  “What are you thinking about then?”

  “Not that’s it any of your business, but I was thinking about how sexy Declan’s hair looks when it is mussed up like that. Then I thought about how he looks when he gets out of the shower which led me to thoughts of-”

  “Stop!” She interrupts me. “No more. I can’t take it. Now I’m going to be thinking the same thing and that’s just not right.”

  “But Ken, what an image.”

  “He is pretty fine.”

  We dance on the side stage throughout the whole show; I didn’t want to miss any of it. All the other girls came and went, but Kendall stayed with me. After playing one encore song, Sayge finishes and comes off the stage. Declan heads straight to me and hands his guitar to Kendall. He scoops me up and crashes his mouth to mine. I kiss him back with the same intensity. His shirt is soaked, but I don’t care at all. He puts me down and I’m finally able to talk.

  “Y’all were amazing! Seriously, it was the best ever. You looked like a natural and you didn’t seem nervous at all.”

  “Thanks, I wasn’t nervous anymore. Once we got here today, I relaxed. We were ready for this; it felt great.”

  Jay comes up to Declan and reminds him that he needs to head straight to the meet and greet area to sign autographs. The whole band walks over together and I stand back to watch. I feel nauseous as girls throw themselves at Declan. I’m somewhat used to it, but this is on a much larger scale than at The Steamroom. I watch as several pieces of paper are shoved in each of their pockets throughout the signing. They finish up the last few signatures and I am relieved. I’m glad that it’s over. Sayge then heads over to talk to the bloggers.

  Watching the bloggers is actually really interesting. Declan and Cooper do most of the talking. The questions are pretty standard:

  How did you meet and form Sayge?

  How long have you been together?

  Where are you from and where do you play?

  Who writes and who composes?

  Who’s your musical inspiration? (Each guy answers individually.)

  All the guys are being cordial; I can tell they are trying their best to impress.

  After twenty minutes, they finally finish the interviews. Declan laces his fingers in mine and we start towards the private area reserved for Sayge. When we get there, there are several people I don’t recognize, but I know they’re rockers.

  “Hey, man, you guys were great! I’m Ryan Knight from Knight’s Dream.” He holds his hand out for Declan to shake and then does the same to Nate, Cooper, and Blake. The other members of the band come over and introduce themselves as well. The whole crew launches into a conversation about the show and how well Sayge did.

  I recognize the name Knight’s Dream as the headlining band tonight. Ryan is totally hot. Not as gorgeous as Declan, but still hot. He has sandy blond hair and blue eyes. He stands about six feet. He doesn’t have any facial piercings, but I can see a tattoo sneaking out of the collar of his shirt. I catch Kendall and Harper checking him out. I think Charlie has decided she’s interested in Blake because she staring at him and not paying attention to Ryan at all.

  “Oh shit, I’m so rude. Guys, this is Raven and her friends Kendall and Harper.” Declan introduces us. Ryan’s eyes land on mine and he gives me a megawatt smile that could melt ice. I smile politely back and Declan wraps his arms around me, sucking gently on my earlobe. Most likely, this is to show Ryan that I’m indeed his girlfriend and not a hook-up. I’m beginning to understand ‘rocker speak’. Ryan turns to my friends and gives them his signature smile.

  “You guys gonna hang around for awhile? I’d like to talk to you after we get done.” Ryan asks.

  “I think we’re going to hang back here. I’m not interested in going back out to the festival.” Declan answers.

  “Great, see you in a few hours.” He walks off and the rest of his band goes with him.

  Our little group gets some of the food and beer provided and watches from the back as Knight’s Dream performs. You can tell they are a local band because the crowd is about three times the size it was this morning.

  We’re all very excited and the guys keep talking about their performance. Blake knows he drew the biggest response with his solo. They decide to keep it, but they’re going to try and lengthen it for their upcoming shows.

  My adrenaline has started to fade and I sink into Declan’s lap. We listen to all our friends around us. Charlie has the crudest comments for every single Band Bunny that stops by. My sides are sore from laughing.

  Two hours later, Knight’s Dream is has finished their set and they join us after their session with the bloggers. We cheer for them as if they’re our best-friends. When Ryan finds out Sayge is going to be at the next festival, he starts talking about it as if it’s tomorrow. He’s going to ask Jay if they can arrange the same lineup.

  After a few hours, we decide it’s time to go and pile back into the truck. Kendall, Charlie, and Harper follow us back to our rooms. We start a party in our room and the girls and I dance around and sing along with my IPod. We raid all the food in the fridge and Ch
arlie mentions playing strip poker. Declan grabs me and hauls me upstairs to the loft. He’s super unhappy as he lowers me to the bed.

  “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I ask him.

  He goes to the bathroom and starts the shower, then drags me with him. He doesn’t say anything as he undresses me and puts me under the water. He joins me and washes us both off, concentrating extra hard on my inner thighs. He helps me wash my hair, but stays quiet.

  “Raven, your days of strip poker are over.”

  “I know that baby. Besides I would never play strip poker with Jimi.” I melt against his chest.

  “Fuck,” he says before he turns me towards him and lifts me. He lowers me onto him in a swift motion. He slowly takes me against the shower wall. I slide my mouth to his earlobe and lick him down to his jaw. The stubble on his face rubs against my cheeks. I move my lips to his and devour him with my kiss.

  “Baby, grip my shoulders and hang on,” he says against my lips. I do as he tells me while I arch my back. He takes my nipple into his mouth and bites down. The feeling of pain and pleasure starts to overtake me. He moves his mouth to my other breast and repeats the motion.

  “Oh my God,” I whisper over and over. I squeeze my muscles as hard as I can to feel each and every inch of him sliding in and out of me.

  “Jesus Christ, you feel so good.” He moves faster and I swivel my hips the best I can so he can go as deep as he needs to. He takes me harder, pounding into me. I pick my head up and put it on the crook of his neck. I can feel him all the way in my chest. My breathing increases and I feel the familiar waves of my orgasm start.

  “Dec, I-”

  “Do it, come for me.” He cuts me off. I let go and try to stifle my screams against his skin. He groans as he finds his own release.

  Moments later, we both have our breathing under control and he sets me down. He cleans me up and gets a towel to dry us off. I put on one of his shirts and throw on a pair of boy shorts. Then we fall into bed wrapped in each other.

  *****

  I talk the boys into stopping at the outlet mall on our way back to Nashville. It turns out to be a good idea when I help them pick out Christmas gifts. We get back on the road in less than two hours. I set up my study materials again and start in on my next class. Just like the ride down here, Nate helps me with my flash cards until I’m comfortable.