Pulled

by Danielle Bannister

  “OK,” Professor Campbell says, “I want to try the women on stage first. Men, I’ll call you in a little bit, so be ready,” she says. Etash and the other men disappear into the wings, and I calmly freak out. I have about ten seconds either to run out of the theatre or face the fact that I'm going to have to go through this audition with him. My brain is telling me to bolt, and I almost do. But it's the music that keeps me put. The song that has come on is so...mesmerizing. I can't pull myself away from it. I close my eyes and allow my body to move along with the rhythm, slowly losing myself to the music.

  “Alright ladies,” Elizabeth calls out, “you’ve just seen Romeo at the ball. Picture his face. You got it?”

  Got it.

  “You're longing to see him again,” she says in a dramatic whisper, “but he's your enemy. He can’t ever be yours. Let me feel that conflict; that aching need to see his face again.”

  As if on cue, the rhythm of the song also changes, becomes urgent, and my limbs succumb to the singer's hypnotic voice; a voice filled with such loss and pain that it causes my entire body to contort effortlessly to the music’s command.

  “And now,” she says, “You see your Romeo in the distance.”

  Several figures start emerging from the darkness, but there is only one my body reacts to. I lunge forward the minute the light hits his face, almost tripping over my own feet. My stumble pulls his attention to me and I watch his expression as he takes me in. Gone is his light smile and in its place is what looks like a mix of anger and sorrow.

  Dancers are spinning all around me, but I move fluidly around them. I am hardly aware of my feet as they fly across the floor. My eyes are locked on his, as his seem to be on mine. When he begins walking toward me too, my heart almost explodes in anticipation.

  We're only a few feet away from one another when we both stop and begin to circle each other, painfully slow. Our bodies manage to inch closer with each rotation, causing my breath to come in such short erratic bursts that I'm afraid I may hyperventilate. Everything in my body is screaming out to touch him, to just reach out and take his hand, but I push down the impulse with every ounce of energy I have.

  The song ends at some point, but we keep circling each other, seemingly powerless to do anything about it.

  “Beautiful.” I hear someone say. I don’t look to see who it is. I can’t. My eyes won't budge from his. It's only when I feel a yanking on my arm, pulling me away from Etash, that I'm able to even blink. Kari has got a hold of my arm and doesn't let go of it until I'm firmly planted in the chairs off stage.

  “Just beautiful,” the voice whispers again. From the safety of the chairs, I can now tell that it was the director who spoke. She is looking directly at Etash now; his head has dropped into his hands.

  Etash

  Already, I know what she’s thinking and it won’t happen. I will not play Romeo to her Juliet. I can't.

  Avoiding eye-contact with both of them, the hour passes as Elizabeth continues to pair up the other dancers. No one has come close to what Naya and I had done and I know no one ever will; but that's not my problem.

  “I think I’ve seen enough,” Elizabeth says eventually.

  I can feel her glare on me, but I refuse to look at her.

  “We’re going to break for about 20 minutes while Etash and I conference in my office. When we come back we’ll have a cast list ready. Thank you all again for coming tonight. You’ve given us a hard task ahead.” She closes her binder and pushes up from her chair, holding her hand out in front of her, allowing me to leave first. I march out of the room, preparing myself for an argument.

  As soon as the door closes behind her I start in.

  “No. I know what you’re thinking, and no.”

  “Etash,” her voice is exasperated. “Did you not just see what I saw? You two were amazing! I couldn’t take my eyes off you!”

  I want to scream at her that what she just saw is currently freaking the hell out of me, but I don't. Instead I sit down on her couch and let out a slow, careful breath.

  “I am not an actor, Elizabeth, you know that. I am your Assistant Director.”

  She rushes over to me and places her hands on my arms.

  “And you still can be. You could do both!” Her eyes are bright and hopeful.

  When I shake my head no, she gets onto the floor and starts to beg. She's trying to be funny, but she has no idea what she’s asking of me. But then, how could she? She doesn't have a clue what this girl does to me, and I don't plan on cluing her in, so I go a different route.

  “I am not exactly Romeo-looking material,” I say, full of confidence. Try arguing with that one.

  But Elizabeth doesn’t bat an eyelash. She gets up off the floor, looks me dead in the eye and points toward the door. “To that girl out there, you are.”

  I open my mouth to tell her how wrong she is, but she stops me before I can get a word out.

  “The way she looked at you, Etash…I swear; I just witnessed love at first sight.” She's wrong, but I know she'll push it if I argue with her.

  “She has a boyfriend,” I hiss, surprised by the jealousy I find in my voice.

  “Ah, ha. So you two have met.” She gives me a knowing smile.

  “It’s not like that,” I say, trying to cover. “She’s in a few of my classes, that’s all. That’s not even the point. I’m not an actor,” I say again.

  She wags her finger at me. “Just because you’re a Directing major, doesn't mean you can't also be an actor. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't your major require that you perform in at least one show a year?”

  “Yes, but it doesn't have to be this one,” I say slowly.

  “True. Good point.” A slow smile spreads across her face. She's up to something. “Tell me again,” she says, “which show did you perform in during your freshman year?”

  “I didn't do any my freshman year,” I say through my teeth. She knows damn well I was too busy helping my Grams to do a show.

  “That's right, you didn't. Hmmm, as your advisor, I have to tell you, that's not good.” She shakes her head solemnly. I know where she's going with this, and I'm not happy about it. “I tell you what: be my Romeo and I’ll overlook this little infringement.”

  “That's blackmail.”

  Elizabeth just laughs. “No, it isn't. I’m simply offering you a way to make up for a credit that you will be sorely lacking when it comes time to graduate. I’m doing you a favor.” She grins wider, knowing she has me trapped.

  “This is going to end badly,” I whisper.

  “Nonsense! It's going to be perfect!” She comes over and gives me a big bear hug, then actually squeals with delight. “Thank you, Etash. You won't regret this. I promise.”

  Naya

  During our break, Kari drags me outside for a 'walk.' The chilly air feels wonderful against the nape of my neck, which is still hot from the audition.

  “What the hell is going on between you and Etash?” Kari demands as soon as we were out of earshot of the others.

  “Nothing!”

  “That was not ‘nothing’ back there.”

  I stop walking and sit on the curb of the sidewalk. “I know,” I admit with a heavy sigh. Kari sits down beside me and puts her arm around my shoulders, and the gesture touches me. I feel like I can trust her; and honestly, if I don't tell someone about this, I'm afraid I'm going to go insane.

  “I don’t know what it is about him, but…every time I get near him, strange things happen to me.” I rest my head in my hands, hoping that she doesn't start making fun of me again.

  “Like what?” Her tone is soft, sincere.

  How do I explain what's happening to me? Slumping my shoulders, I try to be as honest as I can.

  “Whenever I’m…close to him, it's like someone has a rope tied around my waist and is pulling me to wherever he is, and I can’t break free.”

  She raises her eyebrows up at me, worry creasing her forehead.

  “Freaky stuff hap
pens too. When I get too close to him, the hair on my arms stands up on end, like I’ve just been electrocuted or something. But it's the pain—that's the worst. It's a crushing ache right here,” I put my hand over my heart. “It’s really scary, Kari. I don’t know what’s happening to me!” I realize how desperate I must sound, but I need her to help me figure this out.

  “What are you going to do?” Kari asks.

  I sigh. “I don't know. Avoid him, I guess. It's the only thing I can do.”

  We sit in silence on the curb for the rest of the break, neither of us knowing quite what to say now.

  All too soon Professor Campbell’s voice booms out across the night, beckoning the actors back inside. I shiver, and not from the night air.

  Back inside we all sit quietly on the hard metal folding chairs. There is some light chatter, but everyone's attention is glued to the cast list that rests neatly folded inside Professor Campbell's hands.

  “Before I post the cast list, I’d like to thank you all again for coming,” she says. “There were some wonderful dancers here tonight, and although that was not a requirement for this production, it was lovely to see. I got to see some amazing chemistry, and that was more than I could have hoped for.” She glances quickly at Etash, who looks furious for some reason. She turns around fluidly, ignoring Etash’s harsh stare, and tapes the cast list on the wall and then walks out of the room, smiling. Etash follows, close at her heels.

  All of the actors rush toward the list once they've gone, Kari included, but I stay planted where I am. The room is oddly silent as they all scan the list for their names. Kari's tall frame stands out clearly above the rest.

  When she turns around, her face is blank. She doesn't meet my eyes when she sits down beside me. I smile, understanding from her body language that we, or at least I, hadn’t been cast. She takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

  “Congratulations,” she whispers. Her eyes watch me carefully. I look at her confused.

  “You got Juliet,” she says. “I’ll be your Nurse.” She smiles timidly at me.

  “No. You must have read it wrong.” I assure her. “I’m only a freshman. I can’t be a lead.”

  “That’s only for Main Stage productions, not Black Box,” she replies. “Didn’t you know that?”

  No. I certainly did not know that. My first lead in college? This is crazy! I should be jumping for joy, but there is something about Kari’s expression that scares me. Then my stomach lurches.

  “Who got Romeo?”

  Her hand squeezes mine again--harder. “Etash.”

  “No. No, that’s not possible. He’s the Assistant Director,” I say surprised by the hostility in my voice.

  “Apparently not any more,” Kari says, biting her lip. “I can’t blame her for doing it…the chemistry between you two was…undeniable.”

  Oh god. Etash and I--together, doing love scenes, no doubt kissing... “No. No. I can’t do it.”

  “Of course you can, you’re an actress,” Kari says trying to soothe me.

  “You don’t get it, do you? I can’t be that close to him!” My voice quivers. “Didn't you see? Kari, I can’t control my body when he’s close to me!” I stand up and pull my hands through my hair. How could I possibly be that close to him every day?

  The blood drains out of me as I remember one very important thing.

  “Seth…when Seth sees the way I look at Etash, the way I react around him...” I’m rambling now, but I can’t stop myself. “Kari, I can’t take this role, if Seth even suspected anything…” I stop myself, fearing I might have already said too much.

  My breath starts coming in shallow bursts in this dank, cold theatre. I need fresh air, now. But when I turn around to leave, the room starts twirling out of focus. Trying to steady myself, I grab a hold of Kari, who's looking at me wide-eyed. Stars start dancing around her face. Shit! Not now! But it's happening. I’m about to have full-blown panic attack. If I don't chill out it'll lead to a black out. Focus, Naya! I scream at myself to breathe slower. I take another careful breath, but as I inhale, I see Etash dancing around me, and the room starts to spin faster. My eyelids get heavy as they begin their familiar descent to the back of my head. I feel my knees begin to buckle and I brace myself knowing that I'll be helpless to brake my fall; my upper body has already gone numb. Then, there's nothing.

  Chapter 4

  Etash

  Elizabeth hasn't stopped grinning from the moment she posted the cast list and it's starting to piss me off. She has no idea what she's done to me by forcing my hand in this, completely oblivious as she works at her computer, humming some stupid show tune. Her off-key falsetto is making my head hurt.

  Unable to sit still, but not daring to leave her office while Naya is still in the building, I start to pace. Elizabeth shakes her head at me and urges me to relax, but I can't. Instead, I pick up speed, marching back and forth across her small office several times, when out of the blue, the room starts to spin a little, and I have to sit down. Whoa. That was weird.

  After a minute, I try to stand up again but my legs are wobbly. My stomach knots itself into a tight ball. Clearly something is wrong, but I know that it's not with me: it’s her. Something is wrong with her. I can feel it.

  At that moment, an ear-piercing, metallic, crashing sound comes from outside Elizabeth's office.

  “What was that?” Elizabeth asks, looking up from her desk.

  “Naya,” I whisper.

  “What?”

  I can’t answer; I just go. I fly out of Elizabeth's office and pause briefly in the hall. Her scent burns my nostrils, pinpointing exactly where she is; she’s still in the Black Box.

  Pushing past a small group of students who have gathered in the door frame, I find her. She’s on the floor, chairs scattered around her crumpled body. A girl from my acting class is kneeling down beside her, about to turn her over.

  “Get away from her!” I shout, terrified by the anger in my voice. The girl backs away instantly, scared. There is no time to apologize for my rudeness—Naya's hurt. Manners can wait.

  When I finally reach her, she's lying on her stomach, her head turned to one side, her hair falling wildly around her face. But even through her black mane, I can see that part of her face is turning a deep shade of red. Like she was just hit with something hard and unyielding.

  And just like that, the walls I had built to keep her out, to keep everyone out, start to crack, and so do I.

  “Naya!” I scream, surprising myself with the pain that is there. I need her to wake up, to know that she is okay. “Naya!”

  Over and over again I say her name, and every time she doesn’t respond, the more insane I become.

  “Etash!” Elizabeth is beside me trying to calm me down, I shake her off violently.

  “Call for help!” I order.

  “I already have. Let’s get her into my office. We can put her on the couch.”

  But I'm not convinced that moving her is best. I lean down close to her and listen carefully to her breathing, easily able to tune everything else out. It’s slow and steady. Closing my eyes I listen even harder. I swear I can hear the blood running through her veins; can actually detect the delicate sound of healing white blood cells as they flow toward her head, but only her head. Which means nothing is broken. It’s safe to move her.

  Slightly terrified by what her touch will do to me, I decide to try just a hand at first. With great care and trepidation, I gently stroke her face with the back of my hand, and in the second our skin touches, I am transformed.

  Suddenly nothing else in the world matters except her. She sends electric shock waves straight into my heart, making my skin feel like it’s on fire. But I don't pull away, because it's not a burn of pain; it’s a burn that is healing, magical. It's unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and I know instinctively that I’ll never encounter it with another living soul.

  Rolling her over onto her back, I gently cradle my arm under her neck, put my other un
der her legs and lift her up, amazed by how light she is. I pull her close into my chest, noticing how perfectly she fits there. Her body melts against mine and she sighs my name. I am completely overwhelmed that she has called out my name from some place deep within her unconsciousness.

  Inside Elizabeth's office, I become terribly frustrated that I’ll have to release her from my arms to rest her on the couch. Since I’m not sure what will happen to me once she’s out of my arms, I decide to put her down and step away as fast as possible. But, as I lower her down on to the couch, she snuggles up close to my neck; a small grin spreads across her beautiful lips. And right there, as her head rests against me, perfectly content, my heart nearly breaks. I have to let her go.

  Pulling her arms off of me, I settle her onto the couch and back away. As soon as I release her, my body starts shaking--pushing me back to her. I can feel Elizabeth's questioning eyes on me, so before I can make a further fool of myself, I run out the door and through the complex, stopping only once I get safely outside.

  Naya

  Light whispering wakes me from my stupor and I struggle to open my eyes. A persistent, dull throb runs along the left side of my face. Ow. The whispers stop. Apparently, I said that out loud. I open my eyes, but don’t recognize the room. I start to sit up.

  “Easy, Naya, stay down; you'll make your ice pack fall off.”

  “Ice pack?”

  “You hit your head pretty hard.” Kari steps into view.

  Ignoring her, I push myself up a little further on the couch I’m sitting on. The pack falls onto my lap, causing my head to instantly pound even harder.

  “Ow.” Okay, moving is bad. “What happened?”

  “I think you fainted,” Kari says.

  “I didn’t faint.” I say, shaking my head defiantly. I don't volunteer that it was just a childish panic attack. Pain throbs along my jaw line again. “Why does my face hurt?”