Before the End (Beyond Series Ultimate Glom Edition)

by Kit Rocha

  "That was my deal," she whispered. "Her freedom for Woods's life."

  He'd grumbled over Noelle. He didn't have the heart to do it about Jade now, not with Lex looking so bruised and hurt and sad. "She'll have a place," he promised, "and whatever Doc needs to make her comfortable. But, Lex..."

  She shook her head stubbornly. "Trix. She came from Five--you know that. What you don't know is that she kicked that shit, too. She did it, and she'll know how to help Jade."

  Maybe he should have been surprised, but he wasn't. Trix was sexy curves over steel, the kind of tough that only came from surviving hell. It was most of the reason she fit in with the O'Kanes. "Is Trix gonna go for ink?"

  "I don't know." Lex pulled away slightly, her eyes shuttered. "I won't know, Dallas. That's not who I am, not anymore."

  Unable to stop himself, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his mouth to her temple. "I'm sorry, Lex. I'm fucking sorry. I'll do better. I need you. We all do."

  She stiffened. "I did everything, Dallas. I gave you all those things you wanted. I played my part, I did my job--I even killed that man. Not for myself, because I was scared or pissed off, but for you. So you could rest. I'm here, in your room and in your fucking clothes...and you still don't understand."

  "I hurt you." Even the admission grated, but it was the truth. "I've never had to do this before. The submission, all of it--it was always about the bed. I should have been more careful. I should have protected you better."

  "Protected me from yourself?" Shaking her head, she pushed against his chest. "It's on me. I should have known how wrong this would go."

  His arms tightened instinctively, and he couldn't stop them. This was it. This was where fear overcame him, fear of losing the person he needed more than air, more than the blood in his veins. Fear of letting her slip away only to find that nothing would satisfy him ever again.

  This was the moment he would close his hands around the one thing he should have cherished and crush the light out of it, because he was too selfish to let something beautiful escape.

  He could keep her here. No one would stop him, not if he played it right. He could wear her down, use what he knew of her body and her needs, break down those walls so completely she wouldn't be able to find two bricks to stack together.

  He was Dallas fucking O'Kane, king of Sector Four. She belonged to him.

  "One kiss," he whispered. "Give me one kiss."

  Silence. Then she wrenched out of his arms so fast she almost tumbled to the floor. "This is why," she whispered hoarsely. "Noelle wanted me to tell her I'd stay, but I can't, and this is why."

  He clenched his fists until his fingers ached to keep from reaching for her. "You can stay. I won't--" The words were broken glass in his throat, cutting him as he forced each one free. "It was goodbye, Lex. Just a kiss goodbye."

  She eyed him warily before finally taking a step back. "I can't right now. Not tonight."

  Fear. There was fear in her eyes, and that was when he recognized the horrifying truth. This wasn't the moment. The moment had come and gone, and he hadn't seen it. He'd closed his fingers tight enough to crush the trust out of her, and he hadn't even realized it.

  Closing his eyes spared him the sight of her, but not the guilt. Not the pain. "Okay. Just go. You can go."

  Her breath caught on a sob, but the only other sounds were of soft, quick footsteps...and the slamming of the door.

  He waited long enough for her to be well and gone before rocking to his feet. Mechanically, he pulled on socks and boots, buckled his belt and found a T-shirt. Familiar motions, things his body could do without thought.

  He wasn't going to think. Couldn't afford to, not while he was still sober enough to chase Lex down and try to change her mind.

  There might not be enough whiskey in the world to drown out the knowledge that he'd put fear in Lex's eyes, but he was damn sure going to find out. After all, he was Dallas fucking O'Kane.

  And Dallas O'Kane was all he'd ever be. Declan had to die tonight, and take all those messy personal feelings with him. Weakness and vulnerability and love.

  Whiskey oblivion was a fitting way to start the rest of his lonely, miserable life.

  Jasper

  When people split up, it always ricocheted like a fucking bullet, ripping through everyone who happened to be close by.

  You couldn't get much closer to Lex than Noelle. Jasper was closer to Dallas, which left him shit out of luck, pushed out of his own bed while Lex cried on his girlfriend's shoulder.

  He went to the warehouse. Dallas liked to work with his hands when shit got to be too much, and there were always crates to be built and piles of salvage to be picked apart and sorted.

  Not tonight.

  He heard the crashing sounds from outside the building, and they only got worse when he slipped inside. Louder. Lights flickered in the workroom, and the crack of shattering wood punctuated rhythmic thuds as Dallas smashed a sledgehammer into what had probably been a stack of newly built crates not so long ago.

  Jasper rubbed the knot forming at the base of his neck and groaned. "Come on, man. What the fuck?"

  Dallas paused, but only to snag a half-empty bottle of whiskey off the table. He took a healthy swig before waving it at Jasper. "My fucking booze. My fucking crates. I can smash them all day long because I'm Dallas O'Kane."

  "Sure." Jasper bent to retrieve a jagged splinter of wood from the floor. "But someone's gonna have to rebuild it all."

  "Is that why you're here?" Dallas drank again, still clutching the sledgehammer in one white-knuckled fist. "Because your girlfriend's busy rebuilding things?"

  Dallas O'Kane didn't fish for information, he demanded it. So this halting, roundabout question meant the world really was ending. "Why don't you ask me what you really want to know?"

  The tortured noise Dallas made was that of a wounded animal. "Because I don't want to know. I don't want to know if I broke her so bad even Noelle can't fix it." Swinging the sledgehammer, he sent a shattered piece of wood flying toward the salvage pile. "You didn't see the look on her face, Jas. Lex was afraid of me. Lex."

  There were a million ways to fear, and at least as many reasons why. "Should she have been?"

  "I don't know." An admission. A plea for help. "Fuck, man. I don't fucking know."

  Jasper caught the handle of the sledgehammer and twisted it away from Dallas. "I don't know a lot about women, but I've been watching you and Lex for years."

  "Yeah?" Dallas snapped. "Ever seen her terrified of me before?"

  Christ help him not to beat his best friend's ass. "When I lived out on the farm, there was this dog there. Mean bastard, crazy. Must have bit a couple kids a year, but old Robbins kept him around because he was a damn good guard dog. Once the mutt got it in his head something was his, he'd rip up anyone who tried to take it."

  Drunk as he was, Dallas eyed him suspiciously. "Robbins? The bastard with one hand torn to hell and back?"

  "Uh-huh. Dog got him." Jasper hesitated. "I'm not good with words, but I know you have a crazy, mean dog in you. If you can't keep it in check, it'll bite the shit out of you."

  "Don't worry about me. Worry about the rest of you." Dallas lifted the bottle again but didn't drink. Instead he stared at the label as the amber liquid sloshed back and forth. "I can't keep it in check. Never really could. Lex was the one wearing a collar, but she's had me on a leash for years. And now she's leaving."

  "Maybe it's what she needs to do." Jasper snatched the bottle this time. "Maybe you need to let her. Because all I keep hearing is how low you are, how bad you fucked up. How you don't want her to go. You haven't said jack shit about what's good for Lex."

  "Because everything I try makes it worse," he roared, lunging across the space separating them. Dallas's hand closed around the bottle as they stood toe-to-toe, the potential for violence seething in the air between them. "Everything I do hurts her more," he repeated in a quiet, chilling voice. "So if I have to drink myself halfway to de
ad to find a way to let her leave, that's what I'm going to do."

  "You can't," Jasper reminded him softly. "You're Dallas O'Kane."

  "Not tonight." He closed his eyes, but not before Jasper got a glimpse of bleak, utter hopelessness. "Tonight I'm a man who has to figure out how to let go."

  If he could figure out how to do that, then he might not have to. It didn't take a genius to see Lex didn't want to leave--if she did, she'd be long gone already, and none of them would ever hear from her again.

  It didn't change the problem at hand. "Come on, then," Jasper said.

  Sighing, Dallas let his hand fall away from the whiskey, but he didn't move. "I'm not going back to my room. It's full of her."

  "Then where? Name the place, and I'll drive."

  "I'll sleep in my office." Sudden, jagged laughter spilled free. "Funny, huh?"

  Not much amused Jasper at the moment. "How's that?"

  "Dallas O'Kane," he muttered. "Better get used to the bastard, because he's all that's left."

  He'd started swaying, so Jasper pulled one arm up around his shoulders to support him. "No middle ground with you, is there?" Everything would work out fine, or the fucking world was falling down. Nothing in between.

  "That's what makes a winner, Jas. That's what makes a leader. You fight to get it all, or you go down trying. Accept nothing less."

  "You know you're full of shit, right?"

  Dallas took a half-hearted swing at him, listing them both to the side. "Fuck you."

  "Yeah, okay." He stopped at the back exit and hesitated before reaching for the doorknob. "We're still here. No one's going anywhere."

  "Everyone's always going somewhere. You've been gone since that girl passed out at your feet."

  "That's crap," Jasper said firmly. "I'm right here, where I've always been."

  Dallas swayed and put one hand against the doorjamb to hold himself up as he squinted at Jasper. "You're right there, but you're not where you've always been. And that's okay. I'm glad you're blissful, man. I just miss my brother."

  Well, shit. "You're a chatty drunk." Jasper eased open the door. "You always wanna talk about your damn feelings."

  Dallas snorted. "Enjoy it while I've got 'em."

  "Scratch that. You're a weepy drunk."

  "I fucking well earned it tonight," he grumbled. "I went for all and got nothing."

  "Finally, you're starting to get it."

  Dallas mumbled something incoherent--probably the last couple swigs of whiskey hitting his bloodstream. Sloppy drunk, all right, and all Jas could do was lead him down the hall to his office and dump him on the couch.

  And fetch him a cup of water. Dallas swatted at it, so Jasper poured it over his head and listened to him sputter as he settled in for the night on the rickety lounge chair in the corner.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  "How about this color?" Amira held up another small bottle, this one red with gold flecks.

  Six eyed it with the same wariness she had the previous offerings, but Lex could tell she was trying for politeness when she shook her head slightly. "I don't know if red's my color."

  The girl was still awkward and crap at socialization, but she'd get better. And most of the O'Kane women had taken note of Bren's fondness for her and acted out of their own fondness for him, making it their mission to put Six at ease.

  It might work, if the overdose of sisterhood didn't give her a panic attack first. Six started when Nessa flopped down on the couch beside her, waving another bottle over her head. "I've got it, I've got the winner. She's a girl after my own heart, so she needs something dark." She dropped her voice to an ominous whisper. "Like our souls."

  Noelle choked on her beer. Six was staring, her eyes wide, and Lex finally nudged Nessa with her foot. "You're scaring the piss out of her."

  Nessa tossed her brightly colored bangs--purple, this week--out of her eyes and grinned. "Just lightening the mood until someone interesting climbs into the cage. Look here, Six." She held up her own nails, which were a shimmery black with golden sparkle. "It's the best of all worlds, right? It says, yeah, I'd cut you but also I like shiny things. Just let me try it on you."

  Six extended her hand with all the enthusiasm of someone reaching into a bear trap, but the corner of her mouth tugged up a little. "Are there good fights coming up?"

  Both of Amira's eyebrows rose. "Flash said something about Ace fighting the new guy. Bren's friend."

  "Ace?" Noelle demanded. "Does he fight? I've never seen him fight."

  "He steers clear of it. Usually." Lex leaned forward, distracted from her brooding. "What's up? Ace all mad that Cruz moved in on Rachel?"

  "Rachel dumped Cruz," Six said abruptly. "While you guys were still in Sector Two."

  "I heard it was right after she got her new tat," Nessa added without looking up from Six's nails. "And we all know that's been on slow boil just about forever."

  Lex stared. "You're shitting me." How had she been so wrapped up in her drama with Dallas that she hadn't even noticed?

  "It's true." Noelle dropped a hand to her shoulder. "At least, I know the part about them breaking up is. I meant to tell you, but things have been hectic."

  "Jesus." Lex glanced over at Rachel, who was pouring drinks. She didn't look happy, not in the least. Certainly not like she'd been hopping on Ace's dick every night. "So she and Ace...?"

  Nessa shook her head. "I don't think so. If he'd finally caught her, we'd all know, because we'd be watching it every time we turned around."

  "That's the truth," Amira said.

  Which meant something had gone horribly wrong. Lex should have been there, if only for moral support. Instead, she'd been too busy indulging her own pain.

  "I should check on her," she said as she started to stand.

  "Check on who?" Rachel shoved a mug of beer at Nessa, then drew it back. "You're not going to drink this before you finish painting people's nails, are you?"

  But Nessa wasn't looking at Six's nails anymore. Her gaze had strayed to the cage. "Oh boy."

  Lex turned to see Ace, barefoot and shirtless, stretching his tattooed arms over his head on one side of the cage as Cruz climbed in the other side.

  Rachel dropped to the couch. Noelle rescued the beer, and Lex rubbed the blonde's shoulder as she stared at the two men in the cage. "This is so stupid," she mumbled. "What the hell are they doing?"

  "Blowing off manly steam." Nessa finished painting Six's last nail and closed the bottle before patting Rachel's leg. "You can't stop them, so pretend this is some ancient arena and they're... What did they call them? The guys in the metal suits?"

  "Knights," Noelle supplied. "But only men think a duel over a woman is actually about the woman."

  Lex sighed. No, this was about ego. The bell rang, and the two men circled each other slowly. "Nessa's right, Rach. Let them beat each other stupid like a couple of little boys. No harm, no foul."

  "Unless Cruz breaks Ace's fingers," Nessa whispered too softly for Rachel to hear.

  From the first jab, it was clear that Ace's fingers were the last thing on his mind. The two men clashed with matching snarls, Cruz's power and speed only partially countered by the fact that Ace fought dirtier than anyone Lex had ever seen.

  Cruz was dangerous. He was good. He was pissed.

  But he was holding back. Maybe out of respect for Ace's place in the gang, or maybe because he really did think Dallas would shut him out if he injured their artist's precious hands. Cruz checked his strength more than once, hesitating with a kick, pulling a punch.

  And Ace took advantage of it. Mercilessly.

  Lex couldn't hear them over the shouts of the crowd, but words were being exchanged. Ace ducked an unsteady punch and came up under Cruz's arm, slamming into him and ramming them both back against the bars. His mouth moved in some incomprehensible taunt, and Cruz roared and flung Ace across the cage, seemingly more enraged by Ace's smug little smile.

  They crashed together again, locked face-to-face,
arms straining, muscles bulging, teeth bared in matching growls, and Lex wasn't the only one who saw the pressure begin to shift. Nessa reached blindly for a beer and ended up grabbing Noelle's arm instead. "Uh, is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

  The two men were steaming up the cage, all right, exuding a palpable sexual tension that had people staring as the fight went on. The crowd buzzed, with more than a few curious gazes landing on the couch--on Rachel.

  Judging from the flush creeping up her cheeks, she knew exactly what people were saying.

  She stood suddenly. "I need to get a few more bottles from the storeroom. I'm just--yeah."

  "I'll go with you." Amira climbed to her feet more clumsily, one hand around her pregnant belly.

  When they were gone, Noelle scooted into Amira's spot, her gaze never leaving the cage. "I know I'm still pretty new at this, but that looks a little bit like foreplay."

  "Yeah. Someone better get them a do-not-disturb sign for the night."

  "Someone better get us all one," Nessa retorted, flinching as Cruz got his arm around Ace's neck and ended up elbowed in the side for his trouble. "See, Six? This is what makes life worth living. Men who don't know if they wanna fight or fuck, but will climb into a cage to figure it out in front of everyone in the sector."

  Six squinted and tilted her head. "Ace fights dirty. No rules, no mercy. And he's got a nice jab."

  "A nice jab?" Nessa shook her head. "Oh, honey."

  Noelle took a sip of her beer to cover her smile and leaned closer to Lex. "I think I see why Bren's fond of her."

  Lex's answering smile faded as she caught sight of Trix across the room. The redhead had covered the discoloration with makeup, but there was no mistaking the swelling around her eye. She had one hell of a shiner--and, unlike Cruz and Ace, no reason for it. "What the hell happened to Trix?"

  Noelle's brow furrowed. "I don't know. I hadn't seen her all day until just now."

  "Jesus Christ," Nessa whispered. "Dallas can't have seen that yet, or someone would be dead."

  "Someone's about to be. Stay here." Lex elbowed through the crowd.