Before the End (Beyond Series Ultimate Glom Edition)

by Kit Rocha

  If he'd appeared in front of her, she would have dragged him straight to her rooms to try a few of them. "It was...eye-opening."

  "With Jared? I bet."

  "Is it always so—?" She bit her lip, suddenly uncertain. Nessa and the others had been relentless in their teasing demands for details, which meant frank discussions had to be common, but Lili hadn't shaken free of all of her repression overnight.

  "Intense?"

  "All-consuming." She paused in the stairwell at the second floor so she could face Rachel. "And still confusing. Even the parts that should have been terrifying...weren't."

  "Yeah, because Jared's not a selfish asshole." Rachel tipped one shoulder up in a shrug. "You wanted him to have a good time, right? That goes both ways."

  It was so simple, and yet still the most profound revelation of her short life. "Not everywhere."

  Rachel winced. "Right, not everywhere. I'm sorry. I forget."

  "It's all right." They continued down the stairs, and Lili tucked their arms together again. Casual affection—something else that might take time to feel natural. The O'Kanes were only standoffish with outsiders. Absent touching meant belonging, and Lili was beginning to understand how much she wanted to belong.

  "Before I came here," Rachel went on, "when I lived in Eden, my parents expected me to marry a certain type of man. A politician, someone who would wind up on the Council someday."

  Having met plenty of those men, Lili could imagine what Rachel's life would have entailed. "I'm glad you came here, then."

  "So am I. But I do know that if any of those men had treated me badly, my father would have put a stop to it." She hesitated. "That's why it's easy for me to forget how awful things can be. Sometimes I need reminders, you know?"

  If she could forget at all, she truly was one of the elite. Not because she'd been born to wealth or in a certain sector, but because she'd had the rarest of all things—a loving parent with the power to protect her.

  They stepped into the sunlight together, and Lili squeezed Rachel's hand. "I don't want to remind you of bad things, and I don't want to remember them, either. We're here. And I like it here."

  "Dallas and Lex will be glad to hear it."

  With Rachel's ink under her fingers, the question hung in Lili's throat, so obvious, so fraught with the potential for rejection. Taking in a broken girl out of pity and obligation was a far cry from wanting her. "Do you really think they will be?"

  "Yes, I do," Rachel said firmly.

  "Enough to let me join, some day?"

  The shorter woman sighed as she came to a halt in the middle of the courtyard. "Someday, tomorrow—you know they will, Lili. And you know why. Because we're not so different, the two of us."

  It seemed laughable, but Rachel didn't look amused, so Lili didn't smile. "We're not?"

  "Not at all. And I should have thought to tell you, because I know it matters. It did to me." Rachel folded her arms around her body. "We're both here because we gave Dallas something he wanted. You gave him testimony in front of the other sector leaders. I saved his supply lines into Eden."

  It came back to Lili in a rush, all the furtive meetings between her father and her husband. Meetings involving men from Eden, men trying to move liquor and beer. She remembered hiding in a pantry while those men discussed betraying their leader.

  Liam Riley. Rachel's father. "How did you do it?"

  "It's a long story, but Eden was looking for someone to hang, and I took the fall. It kept Dallas and my father in business, so Dallas took me in."

  "And made you a member." And now Lili understood. Her defensive posture, the faint sadness, all the little hints that echoed Lili's own unease. It was that discomfort that had driven her to Rachel to begin with, searching for some purpose or value that wasn't rooted in the worst day of her life.

  "Yeah. And it took me a while to figure it all out. The truth." Rachel looked away, then pinned Lili with a pointed stare. "They had to let me in. But that doesn't mean they can't love me just as much as everyone else."

  Lili nodded, even though the situations weren't the same at all, in the end. Dallas O'Kane had everything to gain from keeping Rachel happy and safe, especially if her father could sever business ties over her poor treatment. There was no one left in the world to protest Dallas turning Lili out into the streets.

  Except he hadn't. Not on that first night, and not on any of the drugged, useless nights that followed. Because by some inexplicable miracle, the leader of Sector Four cared. "You're pretty easy to love, Rachel."

  Rachel blushed. "Not everyone agrees, but thanks. That means a lot."

  Spontaneous affection, it turned out, was something you never forgot. She hugged Rachel, and it didn't feel awkward at all this time.

  Not that it was the same as hugging family—there was a warmth there, an awareness of the sensual pleasure of touching someone else. It didn't burn as brightly as Jared's touch, but when they broke apart and resumed their walk, Lili knew Rachel had felt it, too.

  Which was good. It distracted them both from what Lili hadn't quite said, the darkness beneath her compliment.

  You're pretty easy to love. But I'm not.

  Chapter Thirteen

  "Well, brother, your pretty little flower sure is blooming now."

  Jared should have known it was coming. All through dinner, Ace had been on his best behavior, with barely a word or a look out of place. Now that Lili, Rachel, and Cruz had cleared the dishes and left to take them back down to the kitchen, it was his chance to pounce.

  Jared avoided Ace's gaze by pouring out five generous glasses of whiskey. "The fish was lovely. It must have cost Cruz more than money to get enough."

  "Thank Hawk for it." Ace grinned. "Knowing a gang of smugglers in fast cars can come in handy. And plenty of people in Six and Seven will trade a hell of a lot more than fish for a few bottles of O'Kane whiskey."

  "Being one of Dallas's men has its benefits, I suppose."

  "Mmm." Ace picked up one of the glasses. "You'd know, wouldn't you?"

  Fuck. "Who's been telling tales, Alexander?"

  "You, brother, when you sat in my chair and told me Dallas was trying to turn you into a spy." Ace pinned him with a hard look. "Gia told me you bought that fucking bar. Don't worry—I didn't tell her what it really means. Couldn't bring myself to break her damn heart. Plus, she'd murder you."

  "Probably." Jared drained his glass and set it down gently, taking a moment to compose himself before continuing. "I'm surprised at you, though. You've been after me to join your happy little band of brothers for ages."

  "Yeah, so you could live with us and drink with us and fuck with us and always fight with someone at your back. That's what it means. Not this—this bullshit." Ace waved a hand at the wall, as if gesturing toward Eden itself. "That place is toxic. I wanted you away from it, not up to your eyebrows in its muck."

  "I see." He refilled his glass, and added more to Ace's, as well. "You wanted me on your terms."

  "I wanted you to be safe," Ace countered hotly. "Being an O'Kane can be dangerous, but that's not all it's supposed to be. You're only getting the dangerous parts."

  "Safe," Jared echoed. "You mean like running enforcement operations or collections? I'm safer doing what I know how to do, Ace. What I'm good at."

  Ace struggled with it for a long moment, then relented with a scowl. And he had to relent—there was no other choice with his own scars so fresh. "Fine, but what about being alone? No one knows, Jared. And they'd love you if you let them."

  "No one? Let's see." He ticked off the names on his fingers. "There's Dallas and Lex, obviously, I'm pretty sure Jasper. Bren." Cruz. "Lili knows."

  "Lili? Dallas and Lex told Lili?"

  "No, I did. She deserved to hear it from me."

  Silence. Ace stared at him forever before snagging the whiskey bottle and pouring himself another generous shot. "Fuck, man. We're going to be drunk by the time they get back."

  Jared allowed the possib
ility with a short nod. "I asked Dallas not to tell you. I made him swear it, actually."

  "Dallas is a big boy. He can handle my irritation." Ace snorted. "Almost punched me out over it—that's how I know he still likes me, by the way. The almost part."

  "Of course he does," Jared whispered. Ace was the embodiment of O'Kane, sometimes even more so than the man himself. He was a living, breathing symbol of how they functioned—not just the fucking, but the fighting. The brotherhood.

  And that was what Jared needed to protect. Not Dallas or the rest of the O'Kanes—not even Ace, not really—but the dream. The idea that something like this could exist, and no one could kill it, no matter how hard they tried. The O'Kanes had survived turf wars and territory disputes, hostile takeover bids and political maneuvering—hell, even assassination attempts.

  With Jared's help, they could survive Eden.

  Ace slid his hand over Jared's wrist, curling his fingers over the skin where all the other O'Kanes wore their loyalty in ink. "How can I help?"

  No time to deflect with suggestive words—not that they would work on Ace anyway. "Honestly? I need you to promise you'll take care of Lili."

  "We'll all take care of Lili," Ace said without hesitation. "She may not be an O'Kane yet, but she is blooming. I wouldn't have guessed she had that spine in her. But you and Rachel saw something there."

  "So will you. Give her a chance, Ace."

  "Hey, I like the spine. And her cooking." Ace's sudden grin was familiar and wicked. "And how hard Rachel gets off on having her watch."

  "Filthy bastard." Jared shoved his hand away with a chuckle. "Don't blame it on Rachel. I was there. I saw you getting off just as hard."

  "Oh, Rachel's full of delicious fantasies about your girl." Ace paused deliberately before arching a brow. "If that's what she is. Yours."

  "Mine." He tried the word, just to see how it flowed off his tongue. "I've never had anyone I was able to keep before."

  "Is that what you want to do with her?"

  "Yes." The timing was horrible—worse than horrible—but he couldn't deny the way she pulled at him with every breath. It didn't matter whether she was aware of him or not. When Lili was nearby, he knew it. He knew it in a visceral way that only seemed stronger now that he'd been inside her.

  Ace smiled in sympathy. "It's unsettling as hell, isn't it?"

  "Certainly nothing Eladio ever taught us how to handle."

  "No fucking kidding. But hey, you've watched me and Gia screw things up left and right. Learn from our mistakes."

  "I'm not sure that's how mistakes work." Their missteps would always be theirs, and he would always have his own that he had to stumble through, because it was all about pain. Realizing that the hurt was there before you could ever dream of crawling over it.

  Ace lifted his refilled glass. "Keep her, Jared. I like seeing you happy."

  "Same." Jared met the toast and finished his drink. "How many is that?"

  "Enough to get the blood pumping." Ace slammed his glass down. "You know why Cruz is taking his time with the cleanup, right? He's giving me a chance to see how you feel about an encore performance of the night at the concert."

  Jared snorted. "And here I thought the ladies had this all figured out already."

  "The ladies are sweet and earnest and eager enough to make my dick hurt." Teasing words, but Ace's tone was as serious as his eyes. "And I don't think either of them have considered that you might want to keep Lili all to yourself."

  He had no claim on her, certainly nothing as strong as an O'Kane claim—collars and ink and forever. "Sex is sex," he murmured. "If I couldn't separate having a good time from love, I'd be a terrible whore, wouldn't I?"

  Ace stilled. "Is that what we were talking about, then? Love?"

  If they were, Ace wasn't the person who needed to hear it. "We could be."

  "Damn." Ace tapped his glass absently against the table. "Do you want to keep her all to yourself? And no bullshit evasion this time, brother. That's the only way this works."

  "No." There were worse things than freedom. "Lili's had enough of other men controlling her. She can have whatever she wants."

  Ace nodded slowly. "Think she knows what that is?"

  Jared could hear voices drifting through the door, and he pushed his glass aside. "If she doesn't, she'll soon find out."

  Cruz was the first to come in. His gaze swung straight to Ace and lingered as Lili followed him, holding a plate of brownies.

  She smiled at Jared. "I brought us something sweet."

  Rachel laughed. "Lili throws around baked goods the way Nessa gives out manicures."

  "I got one this afternoon." Lili set down the plate and held up one hand, showing off pale pink nails with white tips. "She's an artist. My lines are always crooked when I try to do this."

  It was easy to imagine her hands on his skin, those nails raking over his arm, down his side. Up his thigh. Jared took her hand, drew it to his mouth, and kissed her knuckles.

  Lili's smile softened into the one from last night—shy, sweet, and just for him. As if they were the only people in the room, she slid her free hand into his hair, her nails teasing lightly over his scalp. "You got into the whiskey without us."

  "Not too much," he assured her. "Just enough."

  Lili reached for a glass, but Ace leaned forward to cover her hand, trapping it. "Before you go tipping liquor past those pretty lips, you've got a decision to make."

  Her brow furrowing, Lili turned to face Ace fully. "What decision?"

  He tilted his head toward Cruz, who already had one arm looped around Rachel's waist, his fingertips edged under her shirt. "Me and Cruz? We're going to strip her naked and do filthy, filthy things to her. And to each other. But, if you want, we'll keep our clothes on until you're gone."

  Lili still had one hand curled around the back of Jared's neck, and her fingers tightened as she studied the other three in silence. Then she tugged the glass from under Ace's fingers and lifted it to her lips.

  She didn't slam the drink back. Instead, she sipped it, letting the liquor linger on her tongue before her throat worked. And when she bent to capture Jared's mouth with her own, he could still taste it.

  He wanted to pull her into his lap right there—but there were better vantage points in the room, like the wide couch that directly faced the bed. So he rose, gathering her in his arms as he moved, and crossed to sink into the plush cushions.

  Low voices murmured behind them, too soft for the words to be distinguishable. Lili cupped his face and pressed her forehead to his. "We can leave whenever you want."

  He brushed her hair back from her face. "That's my line."

  "Lines are rehearsed." She turned her face into his hand, her lips brushing his palm. "I don't want to be."

  "You're right." He stroked his fingers over the delicate line of her jaw. "No more lines."

  "Just what feels good." She tilted her head, smiling up at him with big eyes brimming with trust. "You know how much I can take."

  A curious concept, one he hadn't concerned himself with in years, but it fit. She was still learning—not just to feel in her heart, but with her body, as well. "That's why we're here, isn't it?"

  Her cheeks flushed, pink spilling down her throat as she glanced over his shoulder. He didn't have to turn—a moment later, Ace backed Rachel around the couch. Her shirt was already gone, and Ace twisted one hand in her hair as he slid the other into her pants.

  "Goddamn, angel," he groaned as her back collided with one solid bedpost. "Were you this wet all through dinner, you dirty girl?"

  "No." She arched her back and sank her teeth into her lower lip. "Yes."

  Ace withdrew his hand and slicked his fingers over her lips before dipping his head to lick them. "What are we going to do about this filthy girl, Cruz?"

  His voice rumbled from behind the couch. "Take off her clothes so everyone can see."

  Rachel shivered, the movement echoed in slow motion as Lili trembled. This wa
s the moment where expectation collided with desire, and they discovered what came next—confusion and awkwardness, or explosive pleasure.

  In her jumbled, drug-fogged memories, Lili had a dozen moments like this. Moans and skin and clothes falling away as she tried to avert her eyes, tried to block out the sights and sounds and the way both made her feel, even when she barely could feel.

  Tonight, she didn't have to avert her eyes. She wasn't supposed to. As unfathomable as it was to someone who'd spent her life hiding, her attention was the entire point. Watching as Rachel came alive under Ace's hands and Cruz's words heightened the other woman's pleasure.

  Knowing she had that power heightened Lili's own.

  A low growl rumbled up in Jared's chest. "This reminds me of a story I heard once, Ace."

  "Yeah?" Ace tugged Rachel's pants over her hips, guiding them down as Cruz crossed the room. "Was it a good story?"

  "The best. A story about the first time your angel there decided to cut loose."

  Ace grinned against Rachel's waist. "She always comes prettiest for an audience. Sometimes Cruz sits right on that couch and watches me work her over until she's begging to stop coming."

  "Begging to stop?" Jared's thumb made slow, breathtaking circles on the inside of Lili's knee. "I don't believe it."

  "Neither do I," Cruz whispered, stopping next to Rachel. "She begs, but she doesn't mean it."

  He curled his fingers around her throat, and now Lili could see all the little details she'd missed by averting her eyes. The way his thumb rubbed slow, tender circles just below her ear, echoing Jared's shivery touch. The way his stern expression was ruined by the softness in his gaze, and the fact that her sharply indrawn breath was pure excitement, without the slightest edge of fear.

  They were carrying on entire silent conversations in the nuances, and she finally understood enough to see them.

  "Please," Rachel whispered, the hitch in her voice one of sheer anticipation.

  Lili's own body tightened in response. Jared's hand was already under her skirt, his fingers warm on her skin. He wouldn't have to slide much higher to brush her panties and discover how swiftly she was reacting.