The Fourth Child

by C. J. Carmichael

  Claire nodded. "Apparently, he threw her against the stove one night."

  "And this romance thing with Grady—is it off, men?"

  Claire thought back to Terese's unhappy face, to Grady's recent admission that things were at an impasse between them. "I'm not sure."

  "It's not like Grady to back away from a woman who needs help."

  Wasn't that the truth? "Maybe he can help her more if he's not romantically involved…"

  Kirk pulled back and scrutinized her. "Perhaps we should invite him to lunch, as well."

  "Really, Kirk. Playing matchmaker isn't your style."

  "Could be I have my reasons."

  Claire considered it an odd thing for him to say, but she didn't get a chance to pursue the matter because he immediately changed the subject.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The next morning Claire woke up before anyone else—or so she thought until she went out into the living area and found the couch empty, Kirk's blankets neatly folded on a trunk they kept on the window wall. Sliding open the patio door, she pulled her thin robe to her chest, then walked to the railing and leaned over.

  Kirk stood poised at the edge of the lower deck, hands raised above his head in a vee. He was wearing his swimming trunks. Claire had a second to admire his well-toned body. He pushed off, and his body pierced the surface of the lake with hardly a splash. For a long moment he remained submerged.

  When he finally came up for air Claire realized she'd held her breath from the moment he'd gone under.

  She watched as he struck out, swimming parallel to the shore, until he was out of sight around a bend in the land. From past experience, she knew he'd be gone for at least thirty minutes.

  She sprawled on a lounge chair and opened her wrap to the morning sun. It was going to be another hot day, but at this early hour the heat was rtill pleasant Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the peacefulness, and contemplated menu choices for the lunch they'd be serving later in the day.

  They'd grill burgers—her own special blend with lots of garlic and Parmesan, and she'd make fcta-cheese bundles for appetizers. When Kirk came back, she'd have to send him out to a produce stand for fresh lettuce and tomatoes and some fruit for dessert…

  Claire was asleep on the lounge chair on the upper deck. Kirk paused momentarily, then walked closer. He was cool from his swim, and still wet. He'd forgotten to take a towel. Now he grabbed one of the girls' beach towels from the railing and used it to wipe the water from his back.

  And all the while he watched Claire.

  She was so beautiful and defenseless in her sleep. Her lovely hair was tousled, her thin cotton nightgown almost transparent in the sun. He was reminded of how she'd looked last Saturday morning when she'd awoken naked in their bed. He'd felt so hopeful then, especially after that fantastic breakfast they'd shared in bed.

  Then he'd made that stupid phone call. And she'd assumed he was talking with Janice. He couldn't believe how much knowing that hurt. Did

  Claire really believe he could make love to her so thoroughly, only to turn his back ten minutes later and phone another woman?

  He'd felt they were on the road to healing. Then that had to happen.

  "Are you really surprised?" he muttered as he hung the towel back on the railing. Wasn't her reaction exactly what he deserved?

  Why had he done it? With each passing day his actions seemed more and more incredible to him. What had he been thinking? Sure he'd had fun with Janice, but was that fun worth the pain he'd caused Claire? The potential of splitting up his family? And his own resulting unhappiness?

  Worse was the way he now felt about himself. As a kid, he'd been ashamed of his father for acting like a fool and leaving a wonderful wife to cavort with a woman twenty years younger. The aerobics instructor had hung around only long enough to get a reasonable divorce settlement, and his father had been alone after that. He'd died early, at sixty-two.

  Kirk had loved his father, but he hadn't admired the way he'd chosen to live his life. Hadn't he himself consciously chosen another route? Yet somehow he'd taken a similar wrong turn. Was it too late? Was his future with Claire lost? Was starting a new life without her the only choice left to him? '

  Gazing down at his sleeping wife, Kirk knew he didn't want to start a new life. He wanted to stay with Claire, grow old with Claire. He wanted to be by her side when their kids graduated, then later when they married and had children. He wanted large family gatherings, and no arguments about whether Christmas would be with Mom or Dad this year.

  And he'd do anything in his power to make it all happen. If he could, he'd rewrite the past, but since that wasn't possible, he'd offer the future.

  If Claire gave him another chance, he'd never disappoint her again. How in hell, though, was he going to convince her of that?

  Claire's head twisted to the side, out of the sun. A second later her eyes opened. Shielding her vision with an arm, she looked at him sleepily.

  "Did you have a good swim?"

  "Very good." He sat on the edge of the lounge chair, his hip lightly touching her thigh.

  Through the gossamer cotton, he saw the shape of her breasts, the dark circles at their center. He sucked in air, then pushed his chest out with one deep breath. And forced himself to turn away.

  Ripples glinted silver on the lake. The sky held just a tint of blue, like an aquamarine.

  "I want you to trust me again, Claire." God but his mouth felt dry. "Do you think you ever could?"

  Claire's eyelids lowered. She propped herself on her elbows. "You're asking for something you already had. I did trust you, Kirk. And look what happened."

  "It was a mistake, Claire. Are you saying you can't give me another chance?" He was a fool to go out on a limb with a question like that, when the answer was sure to devastate him.

  "Please, Claire." He took her hand and held it between both of his, all too aware of what he had to lose if she said no.

  "I could try, Kirk. I am trying. It's just so hard." She pulled herself upright, leaving her hand in his.

  "Fair enough." A chance. That was all he asked for.

  Grady arrived at the Ridgeway cottage on his boat shortly before noon. Claire followed the rest of her family down to the dock, knowing that the girls were excited for the opportunity to do a little skiing and tubing.

  Terese and Lisa arrived about twenty minutes later.

  "We thought you'd be down here," Terese said, holding Lisa's hand as they descended the stairs that led from the back of the house to water level. "It's such a gorgeous day."

  Terese was wearing a pair of shorts over her black bikini, and Lisa had on a darling pink sundress, which Claire recognized from Mallory's shop. Lisa was no sooner by the water's edge than she had that dress whipped over her head, revealing a two-piece suit much like her mom's.

  "Can I ride in the boat?" she asked. "With the other girls?"

  "Sure, sweetie," Terese said. "Just put your life jacket on so you'll be ready next time the boat comes round."

  Claire patted the chair beside her for Terese, then reached into the cooler to offer her guest a choice of cold beverage.

  Terese slipped out of her shorts before sitting down, the skin on her tummy barely wrinkling with the maneuver.

  "Thanks, this is great." Terese popped the tab off an orange soda, took a swallow, then helped Lisa with the buckles on the life jacket. "Who's out there now?" she asked, casting a look to the lake.

  "Kirk." He'd gotten up on one ski on his initial attempt. Pretty good for his first ski of the summer. "Andie's going to try next. She's thinking of dropping a ski."

  Andie was sitting on the edge of the dock, her toes dipped in the water. Lisa plunked down next to her. "You're brave," she said. "That looks scary to me." She pointed at Kirk, who was poised at a forty-five-degree angle to the water, cutting a turn behind the wake of the boat as it headed back to shore.

  Grady was at the wheel; Jenna and Daisy were acting as spotters at the back of the bo
at. The twins had plans with friends, Grady had told them, then winked and added girlfriends.

  "Just wait till it's your kids' turn," he'd said to Kirk, and Claire had been amused to see her husband's tan skin grow a little pale.

  Now, as the boat traveled parallel to the dock, Kirk let go of the rope and sank into the lake. Grady cut the engine and cruised in closer.

  "Hey, Terese," he called out with a friendly wave. "You made it. And there's Lisa. Coming in the boat, sweets?"

  "You bet!" Lisa held out her hands, and when the boat was close enough, Grady scooped her into his arms.

  Claire noticed Terese watching, a bittersweet expression on her face.

  Meanwhile, Kirk had paddled back to the dock, his ski under one arm.

  "Good ski, Dad," Andie said, leaning over the water to take the board from him.

  "Thanks, it was fun." He laughed as he treaded water. He said hello to Terese, smiled at Claire, then faced his daughter. "Your turn, Andie."

  "I know." She stepped down the ladder slowly. "Oh, it's so cold, Daddy."

  Inside the boat, the three younger girls cheered as Andie struggled into the skis that Claire passed to Kirk. Kirk helped Andie get into position, holding her steady at the waist as Grady moved the boat forward to straighten the rope.

  "I'll do one small circle, Andie," Grady called out, "men head back to the dock. That's when you should slip out of your ski if you plan to give it a toy."

  Claire slid forward to the edge of her seat. Andie wanted to do this so badly. Please let her be successful.

  "Hit it!" Andie yelled, and the boat sprang ahead, towing her with it.

  "She's up!" the younger girls called enthusiastically, and as promised, Grady took the boat for a fast jaunt before heading back to the dock.

  Claire held her breath as Andie crouched down, releasing her left foot. The ski trailed behind, and M looked as though Andie was keeping her balance. Then—splash!—-she went under, the rope flying ahead without her.

  Claire was standing, her hands to her mouth. "Oh, Andie…"

  Cutting powerful, quick strokes, Kirk swam out to his daughter. After a brief consultation he waved back to shore. "She's okay. She wants to try again."

  And she did. A second time, then a third. Finally, she took a rest while Daisy had a ski, then the younger girls went for a tube ride.

  On her fourth attempt, Andie managed to stay up for twenty seconds. On her fifth she tumbled headfirst into the water and came up gasping.

  "That's enough," Claire told Kirk as he waited in the water. "She's got to be exhausted by now. I'm going inside to get lunch started. Everyone's probably starving."

  Checking her watch, she realized it was already two-thirty. Good thing they'd had a big breakfast. She hoped her guests had, too.

  Behind her she heard the boat come to shore, then Grady ask, "What about you, Terese? It's your turn now."

  "I'm going to help Claire with lunch."

  Claire paused while the other woman caught up with her. "Feel free to go for a ski," she said. "There's not that much to do in the kitchen."

  "No, I want to help," Terese insisted.

  Claire started the barbecue on the deck, then went inside to organize the fixings for burgers while Terese cut and buttered buns.

  "Is everything okay, Terese?" she asked as she put out a dish of pickles. It seemed to her that Terese's expression was even more downcast than it had been yesterday.

  "I suppose." Terese's shoulders rose, then sank, and she put a hand to her face. "Actually, not really. I had another phone call from Ed—my ex-husband."

  "Did he ask to see his daughter?"

  "No. On that point, at least, I'm fortunate. I don't have to worry about sharing custody or visitation rights. Ed never did like to have anything to do with Lisa."

  "That's so sad." Claire patted Terese's shoulder. Shouldn't children bring a couple closer? That was what Claire had always thought. That was the way it had worked with her and Kirk.

  Or so she'd always believed…

  "I know, it is sad. But now I wish he'd just leave us alone. He wants me to come back to him, but when I reminded him of the restraining order, he got angry, and then I hung up." She shook her head. "If it wasn't for having Lisa, I'd wish I'd never met him in the first place."

  "Did you tell the police about the call?"

  "I phoned this morning. They said they'd give'' him a warning." Terese wiped away a tear, then reached for a tissue to blow her nose. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be bothering you with all this."

  "Please. If it helps to talk, I'm glad to listen."

  "My life must seem so strange to you. You have such a beautiful home, such a wonderful husband. And your girls are so cute."

  Yes, Claire reflected. That was her life. Or how it looked from the outside.

  "I hope you don't mind that we invited Grady to lunch, too. It was Kirk's idea, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

  Terese had washed her hands and was now back slicing buns. "It's no problem, Claire. I guess you know we were dating. When Ed turned up at my place, he and Grady got into such a terrible row. I didn't think it was fair to involve Grady in my problems. Especially since he has his sons to worry about. Not that I think Ed would hurt Warren and Taylor. But then, I never thought he would hurt Lisa or me, either."

  "I can see your point." Claire put the feta-cheese appetizers she'd made earlier into the oven and pondered what Terese had said, how closely it mirrored her own opinion on the situation.

  Only now, seeing Terese's vulnerability, she felt a stab of shame. The woman had been through a lot, was continuing to suffer. How long would she have to pay for her ex-husband's behavior?

  Another one of those "no easy answer" situations. Claire sighed, then opened the fridge and pulled out the tray of burger patties.

  "I'm going to put these on the grill."

  When she came back, Terese was finished with the buns and was washing up the few dishes.

  "I can't get the tap to stop dripping."

  "I know." Claire pressed down on the handle, to no avail. "I have to have that fixed… Lisa sure seemed keen to try waterskiing."

  "That kid is fearless." Terese's smile was half proud, half rueful. "And ever since she learned to talk, she's never hesitated to say exactly what's on her mind."

  Claire thought of Andie. "Well, that can be a good thing."

  "Sometimes. But it can also be embarrassing. Last week she told Grady she wanted him to be her daddy."

  "Yes, well, kids say things like that."

  "I'm just worried she's become too attached to him. Where would she have gotten an idea like that, do you think?"

  "Well, Lisa's dad is out of the picture, and Grady is wonderful with kids…"

  "I'll say." Terese used both hands to brush her short hair back from her face, men stood still for a moment. "It was a pleasure dealing with him when Warren and Taylor were having those problems at school. I wish all parents were willing to give their kids that much time and attention."

  Claire considered Kirk, and his patience as he'd helped Andie in the water that morning. He'd never had as much time to spend with his children as Grady did, but when he was around, he was a good father.

  Perhaps she'd been unfair all these years to expect more. Kirk never could have achieved his success as a stockbroker if he'd worked the hours that Grady did. She would willingly trade some of that success for his spending more tune with the children. But that choice was Kirk's to make.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  "What do you think it would take to get you to trust Kirk again?" Riva Sharp asked Claire during her counseling session that Tuesday.

  Riva had requested that Claire and Kirk come to her separately for a few weeks. To deal with a few of their own issues. Claire was impatient with the idea. Wasn't the point to work on the marriage? Didn't they need to be together for that to happen?

  "I'm not sure, Riva," she said, smoothing down the front of her sundress. Her belly was e
xpanding daily now, a constant reminder of the new life developing inside her.

  Her doctor in Toronto had made arrangements with a general practitioner here in Barrie, and Claire had a doctor's appointment after her session with Riva. Claire would have been happy to skip the monthly appointments—she'd sailed through her first three pregnancies and saw no reason to worry about this one—-but her doctor had convinced her.

  "You'll need to get some blood work done." he'd said. "Plus at your age you really should consider an amniocentesis."

  That had been a month ago. Somehow she still hadn't broached the subject with Kirk, even though she knew the risks for certain abnormalities such as Down's syndrome and spina bifida were higher for women over age thirty-five.

  But what pressed more on her mind was whether this child would be born into a happy family—or a newly divided one.

  "Have you given the matter of trust any thought?"

  "Well, of course I've given it thought." That didn't mean she'd come to any resolution.

  Riva leaned back in her chair and slipped half glasses from her face.

  "How is Kirk generally? Does he flirt when he's around other women? Is he secretive about where he's going and what he's doing? In other words, is this thing with his co-worker an aberration? Or is it part of a pattern of behavior?"

  "An aberration," Claire said quickly. Then realized what the counselor had so cleverly accomplished. She laughed dryly and finally had to tip her hat to the woman across from her.

  "I see where you're going with this. You think Kirk deserves a second chance."

  "I can't say what's right for another person. Everyone has her limit to what she can and cannot live with. If you're going to stay married, you don't have to forgive Kirk, but you do have to get past this thing with the co-worker. You have to see it for what it is. An anomaly."

  "That sounds so logical. Especially when I think about my children…" Riva nodded.

  "But it's hard." Claire told her about the phone call the morning after she and Kirk had made love. "I don't want to spend my Me wondering what my husband is saying and doing when I'm not around. The thing is, the next time I walk in on him talking on the phone, I'm not sure I won't have the exact same reaction."