Erin’s Child

by Erin's Child (retail) (epub)

  Sam became agitated and pointed at May. ‘I never did her no harm but she hit me. I hate her.’

  ‘I hate you an’ all!’

  ‘May, shut up.’ Belle took Sam into the privacy of the scullery, closing the door behind them. ‘Sam, I don’t understand you. You love that kitten. Why did you do it?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ replied Sam, then at her doubtful expression, ‘I don’t!’ He began to cry, sobbing into her shoulder.

  ‘Sam, Sam.’ Belle patted him, though not understanding his action, in sympathy with his torment. ‘May was wrong to punish you…’

  ‘I bust your picture,’ he wept.

  ‘I know. She told me.’

  ‘I didn’t mean to, it was an accident. I threw my boot at Eddie and hit the picture instead.’

  Belle managed a smile. ‘I suppose I should be grateful it wasn’t Eddie’s head that got broken.’ Holding him from her she dried his eyes with her fingers. ‘I thought you liked it here, Sam? You seemed to be getting on so well with the others.’

  ‘They don’t like me,’ he sniffed and looked glazedly at the scullery window.

  ‘Now that’s a silly thing to say. I know they’re tearaways but no one could accuse them of being unfriendly.’

  ‘It’s not their fault,’ explained the boy. ‘It’s mine. Nobody likes me.’

  She uttered a soft laugh. ‘Now you are being silly. For one thing I like you – otherwise I’d never have brought you to stay with me, would I?’

  ‘Then why does everybody keep hitting me?’

  Belle struggled for an explanation, knowing that when Sam said ‘everybody’ what he really meant was ‘mother’. ‘Sam… sometimes when people get angry they lash out at others – even those they think a lot about. It’s wrong and they shouldn’t do it, but sometimes they get so frustrated they just can’t hold back. Do you understand what I mean by frustrated?’

  ‘You mean when things aren’t going the way they should?’

  ‘Something like that. That’s when they take it out on the person who happens to be nearest to them, nearest in the literal sense and also closest to their affection.’

  ‘But I’m not close to May’s affection.’

  ‘The reason May lashed out was from loyalty to me. She knew I loved that particular painting and that I’d be sad, so she did the first thing that came into her head. I’m sure she’s sorry about it now.’

  ‘Only because the cat nearly got drowned though,’ replied Sam.

  ‘Oh, Sam, how can I make you see… Look, what did you do the moment May struck you? You went out and took revenge on the person most dear to you.’

  ‘It’s not the same.’

  ‘Yes, it is.’

  ‘Nobody likes me.’ The face was stubborn.

  Belle sighed. ‘Sam, if I didn’t like you would I be here talking to you after what you did to that cat? It was a very cruel thing to do to a defenceless animal, even more so when it had placed its trust in you, but nevertheless I understand the reason you did it and I’m ready to forgive you. That’s because I like you, Sam.’

  ‘Why?’

  Belle faltered. ‘Because… underneath that hostility I think you’re really a very nice boy who loves his mother and misses her very badly.’

  Sam’s expression showed this to be true. ‘When can I see her?’

  ‘Not long, Sam. We’ll give her a few weeks’ rest, then we’ll invite her to visit you – I promise. Come, we’ll join the others or they’ll have eaten all the scones.’ She led him back to the living room where the doctor was entertaining the other children. All faces turned to them.

  ‘May, I believe you have something to say to Samuel,’ Belle gave the cue. May presented a truculent brow and began to pile the plates one on top of the other. ‘May, we’re waiting.’

  The noise of the pottery stopped. ‘I’m sorry I clouted yer,’ she told the boy grudgingly, then resumed her stacking.

  ‘There you are, Sam,’ said the woman brightly, nudging him into the circle. ‘Now I think it’s your turn for apologies, isn’t it? Where’s the kitten?’

  Brian retrieved the animal from its hideaway and presented it to Sam. ‘I’m sorry, Kit,’ said the boy and held out his hand, but the kitten spat and dug its claws into Brian’s tweed jacket.

  ‘He’s still a bit shaken,’ comforted Belle, motioning for Brian to put the creature back where he had found k. ‘He’ll come round.’

  ‘He doesn’t like me now,’ said the boy sadly.

  ‘Don’t suppose I would if I’d been up to me neck in the bog,’ muttered May as she went to the scullery.

  Belle felt one of her rare moments of despair, then overcame it. ‘Right, no more slacking. It’s time for lessons. All of you, go fetch your books while Doctor changes Sam’s dressing.’

  When this had been performed and Belle and he were alone, Brian noted her gloom. ‘You’ve a mixed bag there, Belle.’

  But she disagreed. ‘On the contrary, the trouble is that they’re all the same, all seeking approval, vying for affection. My job is to get them to plumb those qualities in themselves which invoke friendship, make them see that they’re worthy of it, whatever they’ve done. Sam is going to be more difficult than I’d anticipated. The poor child blames himself for his mother’s weakness, thinks nobody could possibly like him.’

  ‘I’m certain that if anyone can make him see the opposite is true then you can.’ Brian polished his spectacles with his handkerchief before replacing them on his nose.

  ‘I shall have a damned good try,’ said Belle. ‘I’m going to make this lot into decent, civilised, caring adults – even if I have to break every bone in their bodies.’

  * * *

  After a further series of minor ups and downs Samuel eventually integrated quite nicely with the family. A fortnight after his arrival, though not yet allowed into the rough and tumble of everyday life, he was able to join in the more sedate pastimes – few though these might be. Brian, on his way there yet again, grinned at the thought of May, then, as he invariably did, turned sombre as he thought what might become of her in later life due to the disease she had contracted at such tender years. He and Belle had made themselves responsible for her and must help to give her back a little of her childhood if that were possible.

  However, ‘I’m not a kid!’ May was at that moment screeching at Belle. ‘You’ve let me take the others skatin’ nearly every day, why can’t I go today?’

  ‘Because, idiot,’ replied Belle tightly, ‘a thaw is on the way and you’ll end up giving them swimming lessons. Besides, you’ve all been let off the hook far too often. It’s time we got some schoolwork done. It was only because of the unusual circumstances of the Ouse being frozen over that I allowed the lapse. Anyway it’s over now…’

  ‘It was still rock ’ard yesterday,’ argued May.

  ‘Yesterday was yesterday. Now I’ve said you can’t go and that’s final.’ Belle was sitting at her davenport trying to balance the household accounts.

  ‘But…’

  ‘May Flowers!’ Belle threw down the pen and rose majestically. ‘You – will – do – as – you – are – told. I may or may not allow you to use my painting equipment later, depending on how you behave now, but until then you will sit in your room and do the work I have set for you!’ The action of raising her voice produced a bout of coughing. She had been a little under the weather for two days and having to deal with May did not help.

  ‘I don’t like it,’ sulked May.

  ‘Like it or not, you’ll do it. Now go and leave me in peace.’ Taking for granted that she would be obeyed Belle sat down again, still hacking into her handkerchief. May flounced out.

  Belle was subjected to another interruption shortly afterwards when Brian arrived. ‘Don’t worry!’ He held up protective palms to ward off the short-tempered outburst. ‘No need for you to come running. I’ll just see to the patient then be out of your hair.’ Only when he had closed the door did he permit his disappointment to r
egister in his expression.

  Belle was halfway through totalling a column of figures when something distracted her again: a white handkerchief fluttering through the crack of the open door. ‘Come in, Brian.’ She downed the pen, head in hands.

  ‘Sorry.’ He crept in. ‘Just to say all’s well with Sam. How’s that cough of yours?’ She told him it was gone. ‘Well, keep warm, won’t you? I’ve a call to make down Friargate so I thought I’d look in on Sam’s mother and see how the land lies and perhaps invite her to visit the boy… just thought I’d keep you informed.’

  ‘How very kind,’ said Belle unconvincingly.

  ‘Right… I’ll get out of your way then.’

  ‘Goodbye, Brian.’ Belle retrieved the pen, but paused before restarting on the column of figures, anticipating more disruptions. After listening with cocked ear for a few seconds she heard the front door close, smiled and attempted the task once more.

  Thirty minutes later Belle, arriving at two figures which balanced, felt sorry for the way she had been so short with both Brian and May and decided to make peace. The children, as usual at this time of day, were in the front parlour which served as a schoolroom. Each morning Belle would set a piece of work to suit each child’s individual needs. This would not be undertaken until the afternoon, for the best part of the morning was taken up by formal lessons and perhaps a short outing afterwards to blow away the cobwebs. Today, each had been given a section of a book to read – most of them could read quite well now – and should by this time have completed a comprehension test which had been drawn up for them.

  She closed the lid of the davenport and went to check on their progress. The room was devoid of humanity. Disquieted, she went to seek out the nursemaid. Upstairs she could hear the latest baby crying. The nursemaid was in the kitchen, putting down the coalbucket which she had just hauled in from the yard.

  ‘Sally, have you any idea where the children might be?’

  ‘No, miss, not since the doctor was here. I thought they were a bit quiet but I didn’t like to tempt Providence by going to see why. Aren’t they in the front parlour, then? Oh eh, have you heard His Lordship?’ She rolled her eyes at the baby’s yell. ‘He won’t go down, you know. If anyone asks what to buy me for Christmas tell them a mallet.’

  ‘No, they’re not in the schoolroom,’ said Belle detachedly, then, ‘I’ll wager five pounds that little…’ Going to the cupboard under the stairs she flung it open. All five pairs of skates were missing. ‘That little… !’

  ‘What’s up, miss?’

  ‘It’s May!’ Belle was furious. ‘I told her she couldn’t take the children skating today and she’s deliberately disobeyed – and she’s taken Sam, too. Right, well, just let her wait till I catch her. Where’s my coat?’

  ‘Eh, you oughtn’t to go out with that bad chest o’ yours,’ said Sally, but found the coat and helped her on with it, watching her portentous departure. ‘Well, I’d best go tend to Sir Tatton Sykes,’ she said, and both women went their separate ways.

  * * *

  There was no longer the sharp bite to the air that had been present for the last fortnight. The thaw had started. It showed in the way Belle’s hair frizzed from under her hat with the damp atmosphere, and by the hot flush that lit her face as she limped determinedly down Lawrence Street – though that may have been due more to anger than to cold. When she eventually reached the river her dress was sticking to her back, the scarf she had wrapped round her throat and mouth was damp with her breath and proving a great annoyance. She unwound it, seeking the children with a bad-tempered frown.

  The stalls had gone – someone had sense, thought Belle – but a few rash skaters still glided down the river.

  ‘May – get to me at once!’ Belle had spotted them and roared her disapproval.

  May waved, mouth laughing. ‘I can’t hear yer, Aunt Belle! Yer too far away. Look! Watch what I can do now.’ She performed a less than perfect figure of eight on one leg.

  ‘May Flowers, I demand that you come here instantly!’

  ‘Aunt Belle’s calling,’ said Anna.

  ‘I’m not deaf, clown,’ replied May, through smiling teeth. ‘But I’m damned if I’m going yet. She’ll string me up when she catches me.’ She continued to sail around the ice, imagining her audience’s applause, while the little ones watched. Sam, not having any skates, was fed up anyway so made his way over to Belle and stood beside her wordlessly.

  ‘We’d better go too,’ decided Eddie. ‘Aunt Belle looks mad.’

  ‘Oh, all right,’ snapped May, grabbing hold of him to keep her balance. ‘Gor, doesn’t she get worked up over nowt?’ She took hold of a small hand and steered for Belle’s gesticulating figure, propelling the wooden skates over the watery ice. The thing that narked most was that the woman had been right. It wasn’t any good for skating now; too sloshy.

  They were about twenty feet from the bank when the tragedy occurred. It was preceded by an ominous creaking which May’s loud laughter obscured from the children’s ears. Then, with a groan and a loud crack the ice before them disintegrated and all, with the exception of Cicely, plummeted into the water.

  There were screams of horror from the victims. Also from Belle. Little Cicely stood petrified on the ice that had remained intact and watched her friends thrashing about amongst the floes.

  Oh, God. Oh, God. For precious seconds Belle stood transfixed, gazing at the struggle, then suddenly came to life. ‘May! Keep their heads above the water. If they go under they’ll never…’ – Oh Christ, you fool, she chastised herself. Don’t frighten them. Keep them calm. She looked frantically about her. ‘Help! Help, someone!’ There was no one within shouting distance. Those who heard were on the ice themselves and, seeing the situation, kept well away, making their passage gingerly back to a safe part of the bank on the far side of the river.

  Shouting to the lone survivor of the accident Belle said, ‘Cicely, walk to me. Walk very carefully away from the hole. Cicely, do as you’re told! That’s right. Good girl. Now,’ she moved along the bank, ‘make your way over here. Come on, just a little further. A few more inches…’ When the scared child reached the bank Belle leaned over and swung her onto firm ground, then looked around desperately to see if anyone had heeded her cries. Oh, damn, damn! Was everyone deaf? There was no other solution but to get down onto that ice.

  Sitting on the embankment she lowered herself carefully onto the almost transparent surface. ‘Oh, hurry, hurry, Aunt Belle! Save us!’ Their pleas tore at her. ‘I’m coming!’ She got cautiously to her knees and let herself down until her body was horizontal, her face almost touching the ice – she felt the chill of it on her cheek and shuddered, but not with the cold, with nausea at what lay beneath those two glassy inches. Don’t think about it, don’t! She steeled herself. You’re on dry land. There’s no water. You can do it. You can, damn you, stupid bitch! Go on! Mind screaming encouragement and abuse, she inched her leaden body forward towards the jagged hole. She must, for their sakes, she must go on. Go on, you blithering coward!

  She was almost there. There was no pretending she was on dry land now. The water from their terrified splashing lashed across her face, covering her flesh with a thousand slugs that coated her with their slime. I can’t let go, she thought. I can’t let go of the ice. I must cling onto something.

  Few would know what courage it took for her to release her grip on the ice and put out a trembling hand. It was snatched fiercely by the nearest child, Eddie. Then – how odd – the feel of that small hand in hers, the look of trusting relief in his eyes, made everything all right. The water receded. It wasn’t there any more – at least it held no terror for her. She had something to hold onto. She would save them.

  Carefully, her twisted spine shrieking under the effort, she dragged Eddie from the water to slither, seal-like, beside her. The fragile support groaned. ‘Eddie,’ she said. ‘Eddie, listen carefully. Get back onto the bank… very slowly now… you can do it… that’s a
good boy.’ Still prostrate, she craned her neck with difficulty to watch his inch-by-inch escape. As soon as he was near the bank she began to haul out the others. Arms reached up to grab at her coat. ‘That’s right, hold on to me. You’ll soon be safe.’ One by one she watched them slither to safety. She had done it. She had beaten the water. There was only May to go. Silly, stupid May. She clasped the girl’s hands tightly but the water in May’s skirts made her impossible to lift. ‘Oh, May, you’ll have to help me! You’re far too heavy.’

  ‘Belle! Hold on, I’m coming!’ It was Brian. Coming down Friargate he had seen the tragedy that was taking place on the river and was already clambering down the bank.

  Her gladness at seeing him turned to panic when she saw he was about to add his weight to the overloaded ice. ‘Get back! You’ll only make it worse. I don’t need you. I can do it.’ The words were no sooner out than the platform gave way. The water had won after all. Belle screamed as it seeped into her woollen skirts, biting into her skin. The section on which she lay floated temporarily, then submerged, taking her with it.

  Brian leapt back onto the staith just in time and yelled to her to hang on. Then, seizing a pole that was used to haul in boats, he began to smash at the ice, to carve himself a channel so he could swim out to her. She couldn’t understand what he was doing, kept shouting for him to stop, thought he was mad.

  When the channel was wide enough he ripped off his boots and jacket and plunged into the water. ‘Don’t struggle, Belle! I’m going to take you back to the bank.’ He manoeuvred around her.

  ‘May!’ she spluttered. ‘May’s gone under!’

  ‘I’ll come back for her.’

  ‘No! You mustn’t leave her! I can manage.’

  ‘For Christ’s sake stop trying to prove to the world you don’t need anybody! Shut up. I’m taking you in now.’ With his arm locked around her throat she had no choice but to go with him, her vision blurred by black treacle.