Erin’s Child

by Erin's Child (retail) (epub)

  Cicely, untangling her legs from her nightgown, ascended with her. ‘Are you going to see Aunt Belle now?’ When Erin nodded the girl ran over to a table, picked up a piece of paper and ran back to Erin. ‘Would you mind very much taking her this? We’re not allowed in to see her.’

  Erin looked at the hand-made card. Cicely had drawn a picture of a bed with a person in it. The person had lots of curly hair and a big red smile. ‘Is this Aunt Belle?’ The child said it was. ‘’Tis very good. I’ll bet she doesn’t always have a big smile like this, does she?’

  Cicely mulled this over. ‘No… but I know it’s there underneath.’ She spotted the moisture in Erin’s eyes and said in an alarmed voice, ‘Aunt Belle’s not going to die, is she?’

  Erin blinked away the tears, angry both at herself and at the child for this suggestion. ‘Of course not!’ Her voice was brusque. ‘How could she when there’s so many of us praying for her to get better – ye have been praying, haven’t ye?’

  ‘Oh, yes!’ clamoured the children, infected by Cicely’s alarm. ‘We say our prayers every night.’

  ‘Good. Ye must keep on asking Our Lady to make Aunt Belle better.’

  ‘Who’s Our Lady?’ frowned Eddie.

  Erin looked at him for a moment, then said, ‘Are none of ye Catholics?’

  Eddie responded with another question. ‘What’s a Catholic?’

  Erin sighed to herself. Belle never was one much for church. ‘Never mind. Just you keep praying an’ she’ll get better.’

  ‘God says she’ll be better by tomorrow,’ announced Sam.

  ‘He never did,’ scoffed Eddie.

  ‘Yes, He did. He spoke to me.’

  ‘Well, why didn’t He speak to me then?’

  ‘I don’t know, do I? You’d better ask Him.’

  Erin interceded. ‘Well, if that’s what God says then I think we can believe it, don’t you? Just pray extra hard tonight…’ She turned abruptly and went back upstairs.

  ‘You’re a liar, Sam Norton,’ Anna stated firmly. ‘God never spoke to you. Now if Aunt Belle does die you’ll have made God a liar.’

  * * *

  The only thing different about the room on her return was that another lamp had been ignited. Erin’s shadow preceded her as she tiptoed across to join the doctor and sat down, looking at Belle as she spoke. ‘I’ve just met the children.’

  Belle’s delirious mutter intervened. ‘Don’t need… go… manage…’

  ‘Ah, they’re a grand crew, aren’t they?’ Brian held the patient’s wrist to check on her pulse, then replaced it under the blanket.

  ‘That little boy… Sam… they said his mother… she couldn’t possibly?’

  ‘She did,’ replied Brian gravely. ‘With an iron.’

  ‘God Almighty.’

  ‘She was utterly repentant afterwards, of course.’

  ‘I should think she was!’ Erin fought to control her voice. ‘She ought to be hanged. I wonder the child can find so much enthusiasm for her visit – an’ I’m certainly surprised at you for allowing him to go back to her.’

  ‘If I thought there was any danger he wouldn’t be going back,’ answered Brian. ‘But I’m confident it was only a temporary madness. The woman’s just lost her husband and Sam can be a handful. We all do things we’re ashamed of at some time, Mrs Teale.’

  His words had the effect of subduing Erin who merely nodded her understanding. A while later she asked about the other children and Brian provided each child’s curriculum vitae, brief though it was. ‘An’ what about the child who died?’

  ‘Poor May… she’d been a prostitute for two years when Belle and I rescued her.’ Erin’s face crumpled. ‘Her death wasn’t such a tragedy as it might seem on the surface. She would’ve died anyway, if not quite so soon and definitely not so cleanly. She was diseased.’

  Erin closed her eyes. How could I ever have accused you of wasting your life? she asked her insensible daughter. Here’s you with less than half my years done so much to make these children’s lives bearable, an’ what’ve I ever done but condemn? She began to pray. Oh, Merciful Mother, have pity on this wretched woman. I know I don’t deserve another chance but please, oh please don’t take her. She’s all I have…

  Patrick returned with the priest. Brian, at first angry at this pessimism, controlled himself enough to allow the rites to be carried out while he kept well out of the way of what he saw as a lot of ineffective nonsense. Later he returned to sit with Erin and Belle while Patrick entertained the priest downstairs – though the old man too would rather have been up here.

  ‘Does she know how ye feel about her?’ asked Belle’s mother after a long period of silence.

  Brian looked startled.

  She found the strength to smile. ‘I may not have been on speaking terms with Belle for some time, Doctor, but I could never be accused of goin’ round with my eyes shut.’

  ‘I wish it were that obvious to her.’ Brian relaxed and pulled up the covers that Belle’s fretful jerking had shrugged off.

  ‘Why don’t ye tell her?’ asked the woman softly.

  ‘I’ve tried, but she makes a joke of everything. On the few occasions I’ve almost got close to her she became very uppity about it.’

  ‘She’s a funny child.’ Erin moved her head from side to side. ‘I’ve never been able to fathom how her mind works. I was never as close to her as she was to her father.’

  ‘Water, water…’ mumbled Belle, lashing her head about the pillow.

  Brian tried to dribble a few drops between her lips but a hand came up to knock it away. ‘Water… May!’

  ‘Belle.’ Erin leaned forward. ‘’Tis all right, there’s no water, it’s gone. Ssh.’ She explained to Brian, ‘She’s always been terrified of water.’

  ‘I had no idea,’ he replied. ‘She gave no indication of being afraid of anything.’

  ‘She wouldn’t – it would’ve been a sign of weakness. Oh yes, she’s a funny one…’

  ‘It must have taken great courage, then, for her to rescue those children.’

  ‘It must. Let’s hope God recognises that.’

  ‘You’re a funny one yourself, Mrs Teale, if I may say so. I was under the distinct impression that you were against any feeling I might have for Belle, yet… it appears now as if you might be glad of it.’

  ‘It was nothing I had against you personally, Doctor, just a private obsession. I’ve said and done a lot of silly things. I hope God will grant me time to put them to rights.’

  The priest left, enabling Patrick to be where he wanted to be. The three grew weary as they stood guard through the long night. Though he was the oldest Patrick’s was the only head not to loll at some point. He gazed at the beautiful young woman fighting for her life, relived that life in his mind: her birth; Sam’s tragic death. Would things have been different if Sam had been there to guide her? Pat doubted it. She was a headstrong, self-opinionated, courageous girl and he loved her so. Ah, God, not another. Please, not another. He got to wondering what Thomasin’s thoughts would be on finding him and Erin gone. They had left no word. That had been thoughtless. She had a right to know. That’s how much ye think of her, he told himself. Then argued, now ye know that’s not so. ’Twas just a slip o’ the mind. A slip of the mind that’s robbed her of the knowledge that her grandchild might die.

  Dawn came. Brian stirred, stretched and automatically felt Belle’s forehead. He gave a long, drawn-out sigh which roused Erin immediately. She dared not ask.

  The doctor closed his eyes, ‘Her temperature’s down,’ then opened them to throw a tired smile at the others. At Patrick’s alertness he turned to see Belle’s eyelids fluttering.

  ‘The water…’ Her eyes came fully open and she looked dazedly at the three relieved faces. With the lifting of the mist relief flooded her own, producing a weak smile. ‘It’s all right,’ she told them. ‘The water’s gone. I beat it.’

  * * *

  The tiredness which Patrick had valiantly
suppressed all night now crept into every corner of his body. Crossing himself and giving thanks for Belle’s deliverance he lifted himself from the chair and addressed himself softly to Erin. ‘Your mother’ll be worried. I’d better go. Will I tell her you’re staying?’

  ‘I’d like to stay, at least till she wakes up,’ whispered Erin. After her brief awakening Belle had drifted into a peaceful sleep. ‘There’s things I must say.’

  Pat nodded. ‘I’ll go join Brian then. See you later.’ Brian was in the kitchen being breakfasted by Sally. Hearing of Belle’s recovery had restored the children’s normal ebullience and their chatter at the table was deafening. ‘Keep it down,’ ordered the doctor at Pat’s entry. ‘Aunt Belle needs all the sleep she can get.’

  ‘I’m off, Bri,’ Patrick informed him.

  ‘Won’t you have some breakfast, sir?’ asked Sally, holding up the frying pan.

  ‘It’ll do me no good to eat if me throat’s likely to be cut when I get home,’ replied the old man. Then, ‘No, thank ye, dear, I’ll get along now. I might be back later, Brian, when I’ve had some rest.’

  Patrick’s first act on reaching home was to pour himself a drink. The glass had barely touched his lips when the door’s opening brought an enraged Thomasin in to confront him. ‘Where the hell have you been?’ She marched into the room – one would think she was twenty years younger than me instead of only five, thought Patrick, retreating to a chair.

  ‘Oh, ye noticed I was missing, then?’

  ‘Don’t play silly bloody games with me!’ There was no need to act the lady with Pat. ‘What happened to you and Erin?’

  ‘Belle almost died,’ he told her brutally, ‘Me an’ Erin spent the…’

  ‘What!’

  He felt instant remorse for causing the horror that had flashed across her face. ‘Now don’t worry, she’s…’

  ‘Don’t worry? You blithely tell me my grand-daughter almost died and then say don't worry! I think I deserve an explanation.’ He was reaching for the decanter again. ‘Before you get too fuddled to speak, please!’

  He regarded her insolently as he poured another drink, then decided that she had a right to be angry and modified his stance. ‘Belle caught pneumonia. Apparendy she’d had a bad cough for a couple o’ days, then the children fell through the ice an’ Belle fell in too, tryin’ to save them… it’s a long story. Anyway, it didn’t do her condition much good. Doctor Dyson telephoned yesterday afternoon. By then she was in no fit state to object about him worrying us. Me and Erin went straight away.’

  ‘And you never thought to leave word?’

  He averted his guilty face. ‘There was no time – we weren’t thinking straight. When Erin heard, she all but dragged me out by the scruff. I thought afterwards we’d slipped up by not telling anybody but ’twas too late then.’

  ‘How come Brian could find a telephone and you couldn’t?’

  He tutted at himself. ‘’Course, how stupid… Tommy, I’m sorry if we worried ye.’

  ‘Worried?’ It came out as a bitter laugh. ‘There’s neither sight nor sound of my husband and daughter all night… why the devil d’you think I’m still in the house at this time of morning?’

  He glanced at the clock. ‘Oh aye, ye’d best be off, your store might collapse without ye.’

  Her lips tightened. ‘Where’s Erin, then?’

  ‘She’s stayed with her daughter – at least that’s one good thing to come o’ this.’

  ‘And how is Belle now?’

  ‘I wondered when ye’d get round to askin’.’ His expression folded. ‘Aw, Tommy, I don’t know why I’m takin’ it out on you. I was just so bloody frightened.’

  ‘Oh, I can see that, Patrick.’ She was eyeing his glass sourly. ‘That, presumably, is why you visited the whiskey bottle before your wife.’

  ‘How was I to know my wife was here! You’re never here!’

  ‘And is there any bloody wonder?’ She remained just long enough to give him another scathing glare. Everything she felt about him was in that look. Patrick sagged beneath its contempt. To her he was no longer a man, a husband, just a silly old fool who drank too much. When she had gone he gave proof to her opinion by pouring another whiskey down into his empty stomach.

  * * *

  Some hours after Patrick had left, Belle opened her eyes to see her mother smiling down at her. ‘Mother… I’ve had such an awful dream.’ She offered no surprise at Erin’s presence, but looked about the room. ‘I thought there was someone else here before?’

  ‘There was.’ Erin smoothed the sheets which she and Sally had changed whilst Belle slept. ‘Both the doctor and your grandfather went home for a bit of sleep. Your Nan called too. She’s coming back after work.’

  ‘How long have I been like this?’ asked Belle.

  ‘Days,’ said her mother. ‘Ye’ve been unconscious. Sit up, dear, so I can swap your nightgown, and put a fresh pillowslip on. We didn’t want to disturb ye before.’ Belle, allowing herself to be changed, asked if her mother had been there all along. ‘No, just since the doctor told us about you yesterday afternoon. I’d like words with you on that one. Fancy not wanting us to know…’ She settled her daughter back on the pillows.

  ‘And you’ve been sitting here since then? Grandfather too?’ An answering nod. ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have let him, Mother. I’ll bet I know just what he was thinking. He must be worn out.’ She gave a loud bark and winced.

  ‘Not as much as Brian, I think. He’s been here for the duration, worrying over you. That young man’s very fond of ye.’ Erin held a glass of lemon juice to Belle’s lips.

  Belle smiled. ‘I’m very fond of him, too. He’s a good friend.’ She sipped gratefully; her windpipe felt as if it had been slashed.

  ‘You’re not fit to be let out on your own, ye know that?’ scolded her mother crossly. Then, ‘Belle… I’m sorry I was so…’

  ‘There’s no call for that.’ Belle raised a weak hand which Erin clasped fiercely.

  ‘Yes, there is! I didn’t understand before, didn’t even try. Not until I saw those children… God, ’tis so awkward to phrase.’

  ‘I know exactly what you’re trying to say and I’m sure that I’ve done more to be sorry about than you have. As long as you’re here and speaking to me it doesn’t matter what happened between us before. That’s yesterday. Let’s start this day afresh.’

  Erin smiled her affection and was hugging her when Brian entered. ‘Oh, sorry.’ He made to go. ‘I’ll come back.’

  ‘No, Brian.’ Erin released her daughter and stood. ‘I was just about to come down for a bite to eat. All of a sudden I could tackle an elephant sandwich.’

  ‘I’ve just sent Sally out to shoot one,’ Brian informed her seriously. ‘Though you may have to stretch the bread.’ He looked better for his trip home, having slept for a few hours before getting washed, shaved and changed.

  Erin gave one last squeeze of Belle’s limp hand and said she would come up later. ‘Er, I trust you won’t all sit guzzling and forget about the patient,’ Belle called after her.

  Erin laughed. ‘Oh dear! We were all so relieved… I’ll fetch something.’

  ‘Nothing heavy,’ croaked Belle. ‘Elephant soup will do.’ She dropped her head back on the pillow as Brian approached the bed.

  ‘As your grandfather might say, you’re a terrible woman, Miss Teale. You gave me an awful fright. I really thought you were going to die on me.’

  ‘Pff,’ said Belle.

  ‘I mean it. You’ve been very ill – and it’s all your own fault. I told you what would happen, but would you listen? You’re so pig-headed, Belle.’

  ‘I must say it sounds as though you’d have missed me. Anyway,’ she gave him a dig in the ribs, ‘I don’t remember giving my permission for you to treat me.’

  ‘I gave you to Doctor Barley.’

  ‘Oh, in the slave trade now, are we? Well, it wouldn’t have been so bad if I had snuffed it – my not being one of your patients, would
it?’

  ‘If you’d let me get close enough for a second I’d show you how much I would’ve missed you.’

  ‘Oh no, don’t start on that again, Bri,’ she sighed painfully. ‘I don’t need it right now.’

  ‘There you go again! I don’t know why you think it’s a sin to need people… some sort of weakness. I’m not ashamed to admit I need you.’

  ‘Brian…’

  ‘Yes I do! And if you find it too nauseating to admit to need, what about want? Where on earth’s the weakness in wanting someone? Belle, you’ve always gagged me when I’ve tried to get close before. I’m sorry that it has to be while you’re imprisoned in your sickbed to ask you, but I have to take my chance while I can. I want you to marry me.’

  ‘I know, I know.’ She moved her head impatiently.

  ‘Is that all you can say?’ Brian looked amazed.

  ‘You try saying more with a throat like sandpaper. Look, Brian…’

  ‘I love you, Belle.’

  ‘Listen…’ She tried to put a hand to his mouth but he avoided it.

  ‘I won’t be…’

  ‘Brian!’ she yelled, then broke into a fit of coughing. He fed her with juice till she pushed his hand away. ‘See what you’ve done to me? Please don’t say any more, you’re only making it worse for yourself, I owe you a great deal and I’ll never be able to repay you, but…’

  ‘You owe me nothing! I sat here because I love you.’

  ‘Brian, shut up!’ She pressed a hand to her chest and calmed herself before going on. ‘You’re a very dear friend – if you attempt to interrupt me once more I’ll throttle you!’ He allowed her to proceed. ‘You are a very dear friend. Without you those children downstairs might not be here and neither would I. Despite what insults I’ve jokingly flung at you I like and respect you very much and I hope our friendship continues for many years. But friendship it can only be, Brian. Apart from the fact that I’ve no time for anyone but those children I just don’t love you in that way.’ She saw the hurt on his face and slammed her fist into the mattress. ‘Oh, I told you to shut up, didn’t I? I said you’d only end up hurting yourself. Look, it’s not just you who I don’t want to marry, I simply don’t want marriage full stop.’