Color Blind

by Gardin, Diana

  “Mom!” I interrupt. “I told Luka that I wasn’t ready for a relationship with him.”

  “You did? Oh, I didn’t mean--did he do something?” She shakes her head, confused.

  “Not at all,” I assure her. “He just wasn’t right for me.”

  “Well only you would know that. If you aren’t dating Luka, then why are you and Dara sitting in here talking about love?

  I cross my arms, waiting. It might take her a few minutes, but I know she’ll figure out that I’m not talking.

  Mom looks at Dara, and then swings her head back toward me. “Dara said the word ‘love.’ If she wasn’t talking about Luka, then who…?” she trails off, looking from one of us to the other.

  I sigh. Am I ready for my mom to know about Cooper? Probably not. My mom isn’t the judgy type, and she rarely noses into my business. But Cooper is a different story. He’s rougher around the edges than Luka is, and my mom knows rough around the edges from personal experience. I didn’t want her to make an impression about Cooper based on a comparison to Luka. I needed to give her some time to forget about Luka first. I also hoped she didn’t compare Cooper to my father.

  I don’t think she’s ready for Cooper yet.

  “Mom, that conversation was P-R-I-V-A-T-E. Dara and I have some things to talk about. And then I have some choreography to work on. So…” I look pointedly at my door.

  Her eyes narrow. “Fine. I can take a hint. And I will give you your P-R-I-V-A-C-Y. But I hope you don’t shut me out for long, Camryn.” She leaves, closing the door behind her.

  Dara shakes her head. “You’re not going to be able to hold out on her for long. You’re not the secret-keeping kind.”

  “Oh, hush,” I say, sinking back onto my bed. “Let me enjoy one night of parent-free revelry about my new boyfriend.”

  Cooper

  I wanted to stay there and kiss my new girlfriend all night long. I would have, too, if she hadn’t told me she needed to get home. I didn’t want to let her go, but I made plans to pick her up for school the next day.

  I walk back into Aunt Stacey’s house, quietly closing the door behind me.

  “Where have you been?” a voice barks out.

  I jump, and turn around slowly. “Why? I’m pretty much an adult. Does it matter?”

  My mother strides toward me. “Of course it matters. I have things to discuss with you, and I don’t have time to wait around while you scoot around town on that bike.”

  I somehow restrain an eye roll. My mother is prone to dramatics, and I’m not in the mood to let her kill my buzz. I’m on a high after spending the evening with Cam.

  “What is it, Mom?”

  “I want you to come back to Maryland with me.”

  “What? Are you crazy? You’re kidding, right?”

  “No, Cooper, and don’t talk to your mother like that. I don’t like your tone. I don’t want to move down here anymore. We have important business to attend to back in Maryland.” She crosses her arms, staring daggers at me.

  “We have important…what the hell are you talking about?” I roar. “I’m not going back to Maryland! I just barely got away from that hellhole! Why would I go back?”

  “That’s not for me to tell you, Cooper. Now you listen to me—“

  “Jen? What are you talking about? Why is Cooper so upset?” My aunt walks toward us tentatively, looking like she’s walking into a lion’s den.

  Which she might as well be.

  “She wants me to move back to Maryland!” I yell.

  “And you’re my child, so that’s exactly what you’re going to do,” my mother snaps.

  “Actually, Jen, he’s not a child,” Aunt Stacey says. “He’s eighteen. And if you plan on staying in Maryland, then that’s another bad decision that you have every right to make. But Cooper is staying here with me until he finishes school.”

  My mother’s mouth drops open. “You little bitch. If you think you can keep my son from me—“

  “Shut up, Mom. Just shut up. I’m not leaving. Period.”

  I turn and walk away from her.

  “What’s keeping you here, Cooper?” My mom’s voice stops me and I turn.

  “You’ve never told me no before,” she says. Her voice wavers slightly. It’s the only indication I have of how upset she is.

  “There’s a lot keeping me here, Mom,” I sigh. “I’m not going back to Maryland. I want you here with me. But if you don’t want to be, it won’t be the first time you chose something over me. I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

  I turn, climbing the stairs two at a time until I burst into my room.

  I slam my door so hard the walls shake, and lean against it.

  My breathing is heavy and ragged as I replay the conflict with my mother in my head.

  Maryland? There is no way she’s getting me back there. Whatever she gotten into, I’m not helping her.

  Not this time.

  Chapter 12

  Seashell

  Camryn

  The morning after Cooper and I make it official I am taking a little extra care to get ready for school. My phone buzzes on the dresser in front of me, and I smile when I read the sender’s name.

  Cooper: you still want a ride to school this morning, beautiful?

  I almost choke. I can imagine the look on my mom’s face when she sees me don a leather jacket and hop onto the back of Cooper’s motorcycle.

  Camryn: No thanks. My mother’s heart can’t take it. But meet me there in 20?

  I wait, hoping he’s not mad at me for going back on our plans.

  Cooper: Can’t wait to spend the day with my girl. See you in 20 or less.

  That puts a little pep in my step, and I arrive outside at Dara’s car at least two whole minutes earlier than usual.

  When we pull into our usual spot at Oceanview next to Brandon’s Jeep, he is standing next to it as usual, waiting for Dara. As we get out, we see his gaze drift over to the space on the other side of his, where Cooper’s motorcycle leans against its kickstand.

  And my tall, leather clad destiny is standing next to it.

  Cooper takes off his helmet, shaking out his hair, and it’s all I can do to look casual as I walk over to meet him. He holds out his hand, and I see a small pink seashell resting against his palm.

  I look up at him, raising my eyebrows but leaving my question unspoken.

  “I was taking a walk last night, and when I picked this up it reminded me of you. Smooth, untouched, and beautiful. You’re my seashell, and now this is yours.”

  I can’t hide my smile as I take his gift from him and close my fingers around it. He’s right; the seashell is smooth, and cool to the touch.

  I lean into him and wrap my arms around his waist. He returns the gesture and I smile up at him.

  “Thank you,” I say. “This might be the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

  “Ever?” he says with mock surprise. “Man, Cam. Your Christmases must really suck. I’m going to have to fix that this year.”

  I sock him in the arm and he laughs.

  We walk over to Brandon and Dara, and Brandon sends Cooper a reluctant high-five. He slings his arm around Dara, and mumbles, “What’s up man?”

  Cooper’s easy smile makes my stomach turn a somersault. He hoists his messenger bag over his shoulders and takes my hand. “How’s it going, Brandon? Good morning, Dara.”

  Dara offers him a sweet smile. I know my girl, though. That smile is as sweet as snake venom.

  “It is a good morning, isn’t it? Especially when that smile lights up my best friend’s face. As long as you’re the cause of that smile, Cooper, we’ll keep having good mornings.”

  “Message received,” Cooper answers. I squeeze his hand, and he glances down at me. When he leans down to meet my lips, I know he’s not offended by Dara’s warning. Good. I won’t have to kill her later.

  I stop him, and let Dara and Brandon walk on ahead of us. “Cooper…” I look down at my shoes, wondering how to ask hi
m the question that’s been rolling through my mind all night. I decide to just spit it out, and see how he responds. “Are we…official?”

  Asking is awkward and miserable. I feel my face heating up. But I have to hear the words.

  He lifts my chin. “Camryn Grimes, we’ve been official since I met you. You only just admitted it.”

  I can’t hide the brightness in my smile, and I don’t want to.

  “And now I have my seashell to prove it.”

  We walk into the school building, and the seas of Oceanview students seem to part for us. Eyes settle on me on every side, and not all of them are friendly. Especially the female eyes. Definitely nothing friendly about those.

  After the bonfire, Cooper has become sort of a celebrity at school. His voice caused a bit of a sensation, and all the single girls (and some not-so-single ones) want him.

  Badly.

  As we walk through the commons, Cooper leans down to whisper in my ear. “Relax. Eyes can’t hurt you, Cam. Just don’t feed them.”

  I giggle and hold my head up higher after that, right up until we see the P.B.G.C.’s.

  Courtney’s eyes narrow as we walk by, and Alicia all but spits at our feet. They don’t say anything, but I know that it’s because Cooper was is my side. They’ll catch me alone, and they won’t bother to restrain themselves.

  I’m glad Cooper and I have first period together. He makes me stronger, and I need it this morning.

  ***

  The lunch table. The only place in a high school where social status trumps anything academic. And now Cooper and I get to navigate the shark-infested ocean that was the Oceanview cafeteria as a new couple.

  As we head for our normal table, I stop short. Brandon, Dara, Sarah, another basketball player named Toby…and Luka. The ultimate awkward situation has come to life.

  Lord, help me.

  “Um…let’s sit somewhere else,” I suggest, tugging Cooper’s hand.

  “I’m game to sit anywhere you want, Cam,” he answers. He stop and placed his hands on my waist, turning me to face him. He spreads his stance wide so he’s lower and able to look me in the eye. “But we have to face him sometime. Do you really want to put it off?”

  I sigh. He’s right. I nod, and we veer in the direction of my usual lunch table.

  “Hey guys,” I say, as Cooper pulls out my chair.

  “Hey,” Dara answers brightly, trying to compensate for the awkwardness. “How’s your day going?”

  “Good day,” I answer. I can feel Luka’s eyes on me as Dara and I chat, and it makes me blush.

  “So Coop,” Brandon says. “When’s your band’s next gig?”

  “We’re playing The Spot, on the Strip, in two weekends.”

  While Cooper and Brandon discuss the ins and outs of the band’s musical adventures, I realize I have forgotten my drink at home. I head for the lunch line to grab some milk.

  As I’m standing in line, I sense motion behind me. When I turn, Luka is standing there, closer than I expect, and I back up a few steps.

  “Luka—“ I begin.

  “Don’t say it, Cam,” he interrupts me. “Just tell me if you’re happy.”

  “I’m happy,” I answer, my eyes searching the cracks in the beige tiled floor.

  “Cam,” he growls in frustration. “You didn’t give me a chance! I could have made you happy, too.”

  I glance back toward the lunch table. Cooper’s eyes burn into mine, and his chair scrapes against the floor as he pushes it back and stand up. I shake my head slightly, and he crosses his arms. He stays where he is, but he doesn’t sit back down.

  “Luka, none of this was about you. I had to follow my heart. It led me to Cooper. You did absolutely nothing wrong.”

  “Cam, I don’t trust him. I think you’re choosing the wrong guy. I’m not going to give up on you yet, Cam. I can’t.”

  “I appreciate you looking out for me, Luka. You don’t have to worry. Cooper will take good care of me.”

  I purchase my milk and return to our table with, Luka trailing grumpily behind me.

  When I sit down, Cooper leans over and whispers in my ear, eyes trained on Luka. “Everything okay?”

  “Everything’s fine,” I whisper. I let my cheek linger against his for the shortest of seconds, and then proceed to eat my lunch while I join in the conversation at the table.

  Chapter 13

  The Spot

  Sarah’s earsplitting shriek startles me so badly I nearly fall over.

  “What? You don’t like it?” I twirl slowly, checking out the back of my outfit in the mirror. The short dress is all silver sparkles and my heels are higher than they’ve ever been. But it’s my first time going to a club. I want to look the part. Looking the part is what I do.

  “I freaking love it!” Sarah is so loud I’m scared she’s going to alert my mom, who is getting ready to go to work in her room. I quickly put on a long black trench coat and slip off my heels.

  I turn to Sarah, exasperated. I’m stuck with Sarah as my partner in crime tonight, because Brandon is picking Dara up. We’re all sneaking out to hear Cooper’s band play at The Spot, a nightclub at the oceanfront. As far as my mom is concerned, I’m just spending the night at Sarah’s house.

  As I pull on some boots, I shush Sarah. “Not so loud! My mom is right down the hall.”

  “Sorry. But you look hot! I’m wearing my tightest skinny jeans. I’m going to have to change in the car while you drive.”

  I imagine her little body flailing about in the backseat while she tries to pull on a pair of skinny jeans in the car. Then I quickly stop imagining it, so I don’t collapse from laughter.

  We escape the house without suspicion, and then we’re on our way toward the oceanfront. I’m beyond nervous. Cooper and I have been together as a couple for a few weeks at school, but now we are going to be surrounded by our classmates and strangers, in an environment that’s brand new to me. How will he want me to act? Like a groupie? I frown, thinking about it. I’m not a groupie, and I sure as hell don’t plan to act like one with my own damn boyfriend.

  We park in the lot belonging to the club and walk up to the door. We have both opted to leave our coats in the car, and we’re shivering in the frigid ocean air by the time we reach the club doors.

  A tall, bald bouncer stands with his hands clasped in front of him, blocking the door. His black t-shirt stretches across his broad chest, and tattoos peek out from beneath both sleeves and the crew neck. We stand on tiptoes to see the front while we wait in line. My eyes keep flickering back to Scary Bouncer Guy, though. I don’t like his look.

  I spot the P.B.G.C.’s standing near the front of the line. Great. I hope the club was big enough to keep them on the opposite side from me all night.

  When we finally reach the front, the bald bouncer holds out his hand.

  “I.D.’s,” he says.

  “Um, we’re with the band?” I say, my voice rising in a question at the end. I definitely feel like a groupie.

  “Yeah,” Sarah snaps. “Check the list.”

  I think Sarah’s been waiting a long time to say that.

  We tell him our names and he does, consulting a clipboard on the podium beside him. Silently, he stamps both of our hands and gestures inside.

  “Don’t even think about ordering from the bar,” he grumbles. “Water, soda. Those are your options.”

  We scurry past him and enter the club, staring around us at the hot, smoky room.

  “Good lord, it’s loud in here,” I shout as we began squeezing between the hordes of people standing in the large room.

  “What?” Sarah screams.

  I shake my head, refusing to yell over the booming bass.

  I take in a long stainless steel bar located off to my left with two bartenders wearing black t-shirts that read “the spot” in electric blue letters. To my right stands an area of low, circular leather lounge chairs and loveseats. Nearby, a VIP area is roped off with tables and chairs. And straight ahead
, a low stage is centered against the wall, and my boyfriend sits on a stool, tuning his guitar.

  “There’s Cooper!” I squeal, grabbing Sarah. The groupie is just rolling off of me at this point.

  “Oh, girl, don’t go over there yet. Let him sweat you a little bit while you work the crowd!”

  I don’t know why I’m taking relationship advice from a very single Sarah, but it seems like a good idea to me.

  So instead of running over to the stage, I sweep my gaze around the room again. Back at the door, Brandon and Dara are entering the club together. Thank God.

  She spots me, and they walk over. Dara is smoking tonight, in a leather mini with spiky gold heels.

  “Whew!” she says. “Looks like the whole senior class has turned out to see your man tonight, and then some.”

  “And then some” is right. Plenty of college kids appear in the crowd as well. Girls who look older and more sophisticated than we do with their flirty expressions and uppity demeanors. I survey our group, and decide we’re holding our own pretty well.

  “Let’s dance!” I shout, leading Dara, Brandon, and Sarah out onto the dance floor. Once we’re out there, I spot some of the dance team members and basketball players in the middle of the floor, moving to the beat of an club-banging dance track. Obviously, the DJ is burning up the time until Cooper’s band is scheduled to start their performance.

  I shimmy and shake to the music, enjoying myself. As a dancer, this is where I belong. In the middle of the dance floor with my girlfriends, living it up to hot music.

  As my body twists and turns, a pair of hands encircle my waist, creeping down toward my hips. I whirl around, opening my mouth to tell someone exactly what they can do with their hands.

  And I’m face to face with Cooper.

  His eyes appraise my body, traveling from my low-cut tank dress to the length of my legs. He whistles long and low, and leans in close.

  “How am I supposed to play tonight, knowing you’re out here looking like this?”