Shadow (Defenders MC Book 1)

by Amanda Anderson

  “Did you sleep with that other girl tonight?”

  “I fucked her Lacey and I terrify her. I always scare them.” He looked into her eyes. “I don’t want to scare you. I was trying to get you out of my head. I couldn’t.”

  “Can we please change the sheets at least?”

  Shadow let out a little grunt of laughter and the sadness faded away. “Done babe, no fucking way your sweet ass is laying in dirty sheets. Not ever.” He kissed her head again and released her. “You can wear one of my shirts and my shorts if you want to.”

  “Ok.”

  He nodded and handed her the clothes as he pulled them from his dresser. “There’s and extra toothbrush in the sink drawer if you want and babe… you want.”

  Lacey laughed and covered her mouth. “Thank you Marcus.”

  Lacey went into the bathroom and got ready for bed, still smiling. She knew she was crazy, she knew she should go home, but her head hurt and her stomach still felt queasy. She just wanted to sleep. She climbed in beside Shadow and he pulled her into his big warm body. Tonight he would just be Marcus and she could handle that. For one night she could have him and he would be a real person instead of a phantom.

  “Preach is sending me on a run tomorrow, ‘cause he thinks I’m fucked up. I should be back mid-week. Can I call you while I’m gone?” He whispered against her hair as he inhaled her scent.

  “Yes.” Lacey whispered as her heart began to race. What had just happened and did she like it?

  “Are you ok Lacey? You still look pale.” He caressed her face with the backs of his fingers.

  “I think I just need to sleep.”

  Shadow pressed his lips to her temple. “Sleep babe. You are safe here. You are always safe with me, remember? I have always kept you safe.”

  She did remember. She remembered Preach telling her that the night her life had been shattered and she trusted Preach above anyone else.

  9

  Marcus crept from beneath the old trailer his mother lived in. It had been ten days since she had started playing these weird games. It had been his eighth birthday. Mama had said it was time for Marcus to learn to be a man. He had seen the soul deep sadness in her eyes even as a boy. He understood that there were things she couldn't tell him and that she felt she was somehow protecting him, giving him a chance.

  It has happened only a week after she had caught one of her visitors in his bedroom. Marcus hadn't known what the man had been up to at the time but he'd been afraid. Mama had fought with the man until he hit her, but she never backed down and she never left Marcus alone with him like he'd wanted.

  The man had been furious. He had torn at Mama's clothes and hurt her. He had forced Marcus to watch as he did things to mama Marcus didn't understand, but Mama always made sure she kept her boy safe, always.

  When the man had left Mama had showered for a long time and when she came out she had held Marcus close and told him how brave he was, just like his daddy.

  Marcus knew that Mama knew where he was. She left the door unlocked so he could eat and shower. She had showed him how to get into this little cubby and he wondered why.

  “Marcus? Come here baby.”

  Marcus stayed very still. It was part of the game.

  “Chocolate Ripple!” She said and laughed a little.

  Marcus scrambled from the hole that was his door.

  “Mama?”

  “Yes baby. I need you to be my big boy ok?”

  She ran her trembling hand over his black hair and smiled sadly.

  “I need you to hide Marcus”

  “I have been Mama.” Marcus sounded small and scared and he was.

  “It's different this time baby. I need you to hide in the woods tonight. There are some people coming tonight and you aren't safe tonight.” She handed him and envelope.

  “Take this baby, if anything happens tonight and the men don't leave by morning I need you to take that letter and put it in the big blue mailbox beside your school. Can you do that for me baby? Its very important Marcus. Can you do it for mama?”

  Marcus knew where the big blue mailbox was, mama had showed him many times before. It would be a long walk since it was summer and he couldn't ride the big yellow bus.

  “I'm scared mama.”

  His mother hugged him tight. “I need to know you can do this.”

  “I can mama.” Marcus took a deep breath and nodded.

  She handed him a backpack.

  “I know this is heavy sweet boy, it has all of our important things inside. Take care of it baby.”

  “Mama, come too. Please. I can show you where we can be safe.”

  She smiled down at him with her sad green eyes.

  “They will look for me baby. After tonight we will be safe, we will get away. Please baby, don't come near the trailer. Don't come inside unless I say....” then she smiled the smile Marcus loved best. “What shall it be this time?”

  Marcus loved this part of the game. He couldn't come out unless mama said the secret word. They used ice cream flavors and always went to get some after he did a good job.

  “Peanut butter chocolate chip!” He laughed and knew he would taste the sweet concoction the next day.

  “You got it! Peanut butter chocolate chip with whipped cream and a cherry?”

  Mama always asked that and Marcus always wrinkled his nose just so she would laugh. She knew he didn't like cherries. Her laugh was like music to Marcus and the breeze caught her red hair and ruffled it around her face. Marcus knew that there couldn't be a prettier woman in all the world as his mama.

  “Remember, peanut butter chocolate chip.” She hugged him tightly then. “I love you Marcus. Close your eyes.”

  He did and she placed a small carton of chocolate ripple ice cream and a little wooden spoon.

  “Let's get through this one more night baby. Everything will be better tomorrow.”

  Marcus hugged his mother tightly. He knew something was going to happen and he knew his mama was scared.

  “I love you mama.”

  He watched until mama went inside and then he scurried to the cover of the woods.

  Marcus rubbed his eyes and tried to wake up. The dream was always the same. It had been the last time he had seen his mother.

  He remembered being cold and hungry for two days before he crawled back under his trailer and curled into his blanket. The roar of motorcycles woke him. The sun was sinking low, it was the time he hated most. The time when shadows dances and taunted him.

  He heard raised voices. He heard a man calling mama, but not the name she used with the other men, her real name. She only let one man call her Lindsey, Preacherman, the man he sent the letter to. The man mama said he could always trust. His father.

  Shadow let his eyes fall on the woman sleeping in his bed. How could he possibly be the kind of man she needed? He couldn't even smile at her. Was he wrong to want to keep her? Should he walk away like his father had done? Lacey was stronger than mama. She would be fine and she didn’t have the worry of a child to take care of.

  He knew he needed to leave her behind, but he wanted to keep her and he had never wanted anything. He had wanted to keep her since she had touched his arm the night her parents died. Preach hadn’t taken him seriously then and then claimed they were too young when Shad had claimed her again at eighteen and again at twenty-one. It had been ten years since he’d had that talk with Preach and he thought it was time to have it again.

  10

  Preach sat at his heavy wooden desk and listened as the roar of bikes grew quiet. His family was home and within hours he'd had to split them apart again. Shadow had always been something of a mystery to him even before the night he had received that letter that changed his life, but now the man was downright confusing. He hadn’t raised a fuss about going on this run, but he’d made it clear he and Preach would have a conversation when he got home. Preach knew what it would be about. Women always got to men like them . He thought back.

  An
gel had been two years old, Liz had been four. He had been on a run and was looking forward to fucking a whore before he went home to his old lady and daughters. He'd had the skinny little whore bent over his desk with her skirt around her waist when he'd seen the looping scrawl of his name on the plain white envelope.

  Preach's stomach dropped even now after all these years. He'd shoved the girl away and ripped the letter open, starved for the woman he could never have, the woman that demanded more than he could ever give.

  Dear Michael,

  If you are reading this it means that I could not escape the situation I have found myself in and that I need you to come get Marcus. Its time you know, he is your son Michael. I never told you because I knew you would never leave him with me and I couldn't lose him and you both. He has been my whole world. I knew I could never keep you and watching you go, never knowing would have killed me worse than letting you go the way I did.

  Please don't punish Marcus for my sins. He is a good boy and he knows who you are. I have kept him as safe as I can, but I fear for him now.

  Please Michael, protect our son.

  My love eternally

  Lindsey

  The words still haunted him. How had he not known, maybe he had, but he had just let it go. He had thought the kid was better off.

  He had gone crazy that night. Demanded his brothers ride with him with no explanations given. They rode through the night and all the next day. He'd been so furious and scared even his brothers didn't try to talk to him. Only one had approached, Ace.

  “I guess she finally admitted it.” Ace said quietly.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” Preach had growled.

  “We heading to Lindsey? Mrs. know?” Ace said, ignoring Preach’s temper.

  “Fuck you.”

  “You taking your boy back with you this time?”

  Preach had turned on his friend, “how the fuck could you know that?”

  Ace had laughed. “Everybody knows. Except you. Fucking looks just like you.”

  They had arrived at the run down trailer that evening and Preach knew it wasn't good. The place looked sad. He had called for Lindsey and she hadn't responded.

  “Lindsey! Answer me damn it!”

  He'd flung open the door and the smell hit him in the face.

  “Marcus!” He searched through the house, panicked until he opened her door. There she lay. Her beautiful red hair spread across her bed. Skin as pale as moonlight, but her eyes were flat and lifeless.

  “What the fuck Preach?”

  “Overdose.”

  Preach let his tears flow. Lindsey had been the love of his life. Everyone had loved her, but her heart had always belonged to Preach.

  “No fucking way. She never touched that shit. What about the kid?”

  Preach had caressed her bruised wrists. She had been through hell.

  “God knows.” He wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

  “You know we have to torch it.”

  “No.”

  “Preach.”

  Preach turned on his friend. “She gets buried! She gets respect. We get the fuck out and call it in.”

  “Let me call a pick up and we will take her home. Torch it after.” Ace gripped Preach's shoulder.

  Preach nodded.

  His brothers searched for Marcus and found no sign of the boy. If whoever had killed Lindsey had that boy Preach had to find him.

  He nodded to his brother to set the fire but called him off when he saw an opening in the underpinning of the trailer. He just had a feeling…

  “Hold on a minute.”

  Preach had ripped open the old metal and shined a light into the dank space. He saw a small huddle and eyes shining back at him.

  “Marcus? Marcus, it's Preacherman. You remember me?”

  He heard a whimper.

  “Come on out Marcus. I'm here to protect you.”

  “Where is mama?” The tiny voice was barely above a whisper.

  “She's coming too Marcus.” Preach had almost choked on those words.

  “Where is she?”

  “Come out and I'll tell you Marcus. She sent a letter for me. She asked me to come get you.”

  “Tell me first.”

  “She's dead Marcus. I'm taking her back for a proper burial.”

  Preach heard a long sigh and the boy made his way to the opening. The boy was dirty and looked older than he was. His face was solemn and his eyes were blank.

  “Where will I be going?”

  Preach wanted to shiver. He had seen grown men that showed more emotion than this boy who had just lost his mother. Like his emotions had been turned off.

  “You are my son.”

  “That never mattered to you before.”

  The boy's black eyes probed him and Preach felt as if the boy saw into his soul.

  “I didn't know Marcus. Your mother sent a letter. I came as soon as she told me. You will go home with me.”

  Marcus had only nodded and crawled back to his pile of blankets. He came back with a back pack.

  “Everything we had is in here.”

  Preach nodded and took the pack.

  “I kept it safe for her.”

  “You are a good son Marcus.”

  Marcus turned and walked away from the old trailer as flames licked at the windows. His whole life was gone and he showed no sign that it affected him.

  Preach rubbed his face with both hands. Shad hadn't changed much over the years. He had earned his handle because of his disposition. He was never in the middle of things, but he always got things done. He was valuable to the club for his efficiency. He could kill with no remorse and gain entrance into any place at any time.

  “Wasting his time with this shit.” Ace spoke from his chair by the wall.

  Preach knew he was wasting Shad's time with this run, but the sudden show of emotion concerned him. The fact that it was triggered by Lacey concerned him more. He feared that the claim Shad had laid all those years ago was not so childish after all and he honestly didn’t know how to feel about it. Would this be the life Carson had wanted for his daughter and would he have approved?

  “What the fuck else could I do?”

  “Let him alone. Let them figure it out for themselves. Shouldn’t have made him stay away from her. He always felt like he wasn’t good enough.”

  “What the fuck Ace? You been watching Dr. Phil?”

  “Fuck you Preach. You know I’m right. Those two are made for each other, knew it the night her folks were killed. You remember the way he acted? He hadn’t given two shits about anything until that little slip of a girl and he ain’t give a shit about anything since.”

  Preach closed his eyes and shook his head, maybe Ace was right.

  11

  Lindsey woke alone, but she found her phone lying on a letter from Marcus.

  Good morning. I shouldn't be gone more than a few days. I put my number in your phone. Call me. I hope I have proven that you can trust me, always.

  Marcus

  Lindsey smiled as she read the words again. How could Marcus be the same man that had scared her so much? He seemed so broken.

  She climbed from his bed and wondered what she should do. Everyone would assume she'd slept with him, it wouldn't matter how she was dressed, but she wanted to look decent for her walk of shame and she would not hang her head about it. She called Angel.

  “Hey honey bunch! How did it go last night?”

  “Hey Angel. I need a favor.”

  Lacey explained what had happened the night before.

  “That lil shit touch you?”

  “No Angel. He was a gentleman.”

  “You sure you are talking about Shadow? My brother Shadow?”

  “Yes. He was really sweet. I fainted and he kept me safe, but now I'm looking at the walk of shame.”

  “Say no more! I will bring you some duds and bitch at anyone who gives you shit.”

  “You are a life saver!! I love you Angel. H
ow can I ever repay you?”

  “Feed me!”

  Angel sounded ravenous and Lacey giggled out loud. “You got it! Get over here and we will go out!”

  “I warn you! I eat a lot now days.”

  Lacey hung up and decided to shower before Angel arrived. She tried not to think of the other women who had showered in this shower and she really didn't want to think of how many had slept in the bed.

  Angel was in Shadow's room when Lacey got out of the shower. She dressed and they made their way down the stairs soon after. Eyes followed the women as they walked across the floor.

  “She must be a sicko too,” she heard a girl whisper loudly.

  Lacey turned to see the same skinny girl that had been with Shadow the night before. The woman was looking at her and talking with other women.

  “Did you hear her?”

  “That's right bitch. I'm talking about you.” The girl stepped forward.

  “Back up slut. You don't get to talk to her.” Angel bristled.

  “I talk to who I please.” She ran her eyes over both women.

  Angel slapped the girl with more force than she looked capable of. The woman drew back to slap her back and every brother in the place stood and pulled guns.

  Angel smiled. “Do it bitch and you will be in the fucking ground before you're cold. I am the prez's daughter and Ink's old lady. You just signed your death warrant.”

  The girl paled and backed up. “You aren't wearing a cut. I didn't know.”

  “Now you do.” Angel smiled and threw her arm around Lacey. This is my sister.”

  “So that sick fuck screwed his sister?” The whore whispered in horror.

  Angel punched the girl squarely in the face. The sleazy tramp sprawled across the floor as Angel let her eyes scan the room until she found Ink.

  “Gone! I don't give a fuck where or how but this bitch is gone.”

  Ink nodded and two prospects stepped up and grabbed the whore.

  “Will they hurt her? They can't hurt her. No, don't tell me, I can't know.” Lacey put her hands over her ears and Angel laughed.

  “Who cares? Feed me!”