by V. F. Mason
I stood there, frozen, and had no idea what to do, but watch my girl with fascination. She was a bit afraid, I could tell, but there was this sureness in her eyes. She was okay with what she said, and she was only nervous because she wasn’t sure about saying those words out loud.
The girls started to play a familiar song, and the crowd went crazy, if it was possible, because they were already out of control.
She picked up her mic and started to sing, raising her other hand in the timing of Jane’s drums.
‘In this whole wide world, there is no one like you
So giving up doesn’t sound like something you’d do
Get up, fight, show ‘em what you’re all about
They don’t have a say of whether you’re worthy or not
‘Cause those who matter will never mind
And those who mind will never matter
Just be yourself
You’re one of a kind
‘Cause those who matter will never mind
Sometimes it’s not easy, but you should never give up
And if you fall, I’ll be helping you get yourself back up
If they say you’ll never make it
You’re they only one who knows how far you can take it
Annabella was magnificent! She moved around the stage, her voice was husky, deep, and strong. She easily hit loud notes and didn’t mind doing it with all the dancing she did. There came the guitar solo and she joined Sam, putting the mic to the guitar. The music was powerful; it was rock at its best.
The music picked up its calm rhythm, and Jane and Ariel gently played before the final chorus. Bella put the mic in place and then shouted.
“How about we all sing it together? The last bit. Come on, people!” and the audience did just that. She had her hands above her head and clapped them. She started with the first words and finished with the last, but the people didn’t need her guidance.
And those who mind will never matter
Just be yourself
You’re one of a kind
‘Cause those who matter will never mind
Jane played a drum solo for a few seconds and the song finished with the loud bam! of the drums. The girls were breathing hard, but they all seemed pretty satisfied with what they’ve just done.
Everyone was cheering and clapping until the next song was being performed and the show went on.
It was evident that they all performed well and how much joy it brought them; they were all in their element. Bella’s voice was fine and she was handling it well.
None of us spoke in the lounge, maybe because we all wanted to enjoy what was happening on stage, or maybe because none of us wanted to be distracted from our thoughts. For each one of us, this concert meant something different.
They were singing their last song and I grabbed Jer’s arm.
“I need to go on stage after this song.”
He grinned. “Already set in motion.” He then placed the mic in my hand and winked. “Just press the on button and take that way.” He pointed to the direction. “This leads you directly in front of the stage. I figured you wanted to say something, right?”
Right.
She made a public confession and put herself out there. The least I could do was return the favor.
Finally, they finished and the crowd begged for more, but I was sure they already gave more, like they always did. Bella made all the girls stand near her.
“We love you all!” They cheered their love back at her. “But I’m afraid that’s it for today. Thank you so much for coming here!” She blew kisses, and the audience did the same.
It was now or never.
Clearing my throat, I pushed the on button and spoke. My voice was husky, slightly nervous, and loud on the stage, which caught everyone’s attention.
I just needed the attention of the woman I loved.
“Annabella Katharine Hastings, I have always loved you, and there is no greater joy in knowing that you feel the same way too.” She froze, opening and closing her mouth in shock.
I slowly made my way to the stage, not once taking my eyes from her face. I was finally right in front of where she stood. I was aware that cameras were recording all this cheesy shit, because it was.
My feelings and hers weren’t, though.
“You said I saved you, but I don’t think that’s true. You saved yourself, and I was there, along for the ride. You could live without me, and the truth is, I probably could too. But I don’t ever want to, because life without you, quite frankly, sucks.” I finished, and there were a few chuckles and female sighs, but all my attention was on my girl. She eyed me for a few more moments, and I started to get worried. When she ran toward me and extended her hands for me to catch her from the stage, I dropped the mic on the floor and caught her in my arms. Her legs circled my waist and her arms were around my neck. She put her mouth on mine and kissed me passionately.
“I thought you gave up,” she whispered in my ear, and there was slight fear evident in her voice. My hands squeezed her harder.
“Never. I just had a moment of stupidity.” She leaned back and gave me the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen in my life.
Her smile.
“I can deal with that. After all, I had it too.”
“Not anymore though.”
She shook her head and pushed herself harder on me. “No.”
“Fresh start?” Again she shook her head and I frowned.
“I don’t want a fresh start. It’s our story, and I want it to be real.” I gave her a soft peck on the lips and rubbed her back.
“I love you, Bella.
“I love you too, Ryan.”
And here, with thousands of people around me, cameras probably making this world-wide news, I stood with her in my arms and I’d never been happier.
The journey to win her love wasn’t easy, but nothing worth fighting for is.
No matter what, we had each other, and we found each other in one of the saddest moments of her life.
But that’s the thing about love.
You find it in the most inconvenient places and when you think you least need it.
Thank God for that.
10 years in the future
“Mommy, are you sure those flowers are fine?” the soft, curious voice asked behind me. I glanced at my five-year-old daughter in her pink flowery dress, holding yellow tulips in her hand. I gave her a gentle smile and she smiled back, flashing her one-tooth-missing mouth. Her glossy black hair was loose with a headband, and her ice-blue eyes watched the place as though she saw everything for the first time.
She had this quality—everything was amazing and fascinating to her.
“I’m sure, honey.”
“But everyone brings roses here and I don’t want Uncle Nicky to get mad at me.” Her voice was sad and she looked like she was about to cry, despite the smile she gave me earlier.
“Come here, munchkin.” She ran without hesitation and I hugged her tight. She was soft and smelled of baby powder and my perfume.
What to do? My baby girl loved to pamper herself, which was driving me and her dad crazy. Not that we could refuse her anything, ever.
I put her in front of me while I was on my knees and hugged her from behind. I put my face on her shoulder and tried to explain it to her as best as I could.
“Your uncle Nicky loves any kind of flowers you bring him. And he loved tulips, trust me.” She relaxed and I watched her think about something before she spoke up.
“Do you miss him, Mommy?” My heart ached a little at her question, but it wasn’t a raging inferno inside me like all those years ago.
“Every day, baby, every day. But I know he is watching above us and takes care of us. He’s my guardian angel.” She turned in my arms.
“Mine too?”
I palmed her face and smiled. “Yours too.”
“Probably Mathew’s, too.” My face softened at the mention of my nephew, who was a carbon copy of my brother
. Every time I saw him, I knew my brother lived on. There was part of him in the world, and that was truly amazing.
“Yep, his too.” She suddenly hugged me tight and I closed my eyes. I loved her fiercely. I never knew love could be so powerful. I loved Ryan with everything I was, but this was different. The minute the doctor put her in my arms, it was love at first sight. I wanted to love and protect her from everything bad there was and never see her cry. I knew it was impossible, but I wanted to give her the best in life, so she would never be afraid of monsters or tell me about them.
It took me a while to accept the fact I was pregnant.
I didn’t want kids. I didn’t think I could be a good parent with my upbringing. Ryan accepted my choice and never pushed me. But then after our honeymoon, I found out I was pregnant, and when I heard her heartbeat on the ultrasound machine, everything changed. My fears didn’t magically disappear, but I knew I had a life inside of me that needed me and she was created in love. If her father convinced me to love him, then she owned my heart since the beginning.
She opened me up from a different side; being a mother was something else. It made you vulnerable, because there was always a person who would occupy your mind 24/7. It was like part of my heart belonged to someone else permanently and I couldn’t control it.
I could only be there for her and make sure she was happy.
“Love you, Mommy.”
My heart squeezed a bit, and I replied, “Love you too, baby girl.” She then pushed back, not as moved by our moment as I was; after all, she was only a kid. She put the flowers on the headstone and ran away.
The headstone was in good shape. We all made sure it looked good and was well cared for. It was covered in lots of fresh flowers, probably from the day before. I preferred to come here only when it was the three of us, so I postponed for today.
“I think I need to go, Nicky. I don’t come here often. You know, not my scene, really.” For some reason, I imagined his laughter and it brought warmth inside me. “But I make sure to come here on your birthday. You were right, you know. It’s bliss. Thank you for bringing me the people I love most, even after you were gone.” I closed my eyes and I felt the slight touch of the wind on my cheek as though it was a hand caressing me. “Love you always.” With a deep breath, I stood up. Sparing one last glance, I turned around and made my way to the car.
My husband stood there nearby, as handsome as always, and there was love in his eyes. It took all the bad feelings away. Amelia was in his arms and I knew, despite the pain I had in my heart for the loss of Nicky, I would always have them.
This.
Us.
Life.
And for that, I would forever be grateful.
The End
Where do I start?
I published my first book, and I couldn’t be happier.
Writing a book was an incredible journey, one I didn't think I would ever be able to take but it happened, and now I’m grateful to all those without who my dream wouldn't have happened.
I want to start by thanking my parents. Mom and Dad, thank you so much for being there for me and believing that I could make it. For supporting me all those years when I wanted to get a degree in filming instead of B.B.A( Dad, I know you still don’t get it but support me anyway).
Mama for all those talks we had about it and the encouragement I had from you. I love you guys and hope you are proud of me.
Maysam, you were the one who read all my stories since the very start and the one who encouraged me to do it. You always believed I could make it, and helped me throughout. You were the first one to read my book and give me feedback on it and more. The amount of time you spend on my book and never once refused to help still makes it surreal to me. I remember all those audio messages that I sent to you and explained some aspects of the story and discussed my characters with you. You were the first to read and beta read my story and gave it that special flow that wouldn't have happened without you. I can’t count the times when I went all crazy on you with worry and thousands of questions, and you were always a true friend who calmed me down and told me to keep writing and then publishing it. We always wanted to work together on something (remember those uni days with film projects and never ending worries?), but I never thought that our first real collaboration would happen with my first book. Thank you so much, and I love you girl. You're truly one of a kind.
Sultana, you were almost like my PA in this project. You researched with me all the work that needed to be done and went to all the places where I needed to have the paperwork done. You have a big part in making this book published, and I can’t tell you how grateful I’m for all the things you did for me. You read as much as you could, and you had a valuable feedback (even though you were shocked with some of the things my characters did). I remember our late night phones calls and all those night out when I took my laptop out and showed some of my writing. You calmly listened to all my worries and supported me with your friendship. I know I was annoying at times, but you never pointed that out. Love you girl and hope you would continue to be there with me.
HD, Annabella experienced one of the biggest losses in her life, and she made the whole journey of being ok. I would have never understood her if I haven't lost you. I’ll probably never be fully ok with the fact that you are gone but like Bella, the pain is not longer a raging inferno. I remember the time back a few years when I promised you that I would mention you in my first book. That I would write the story that would be about us and reflects something that we had. You believed that I could make it, that if I wanted to, I could do it. I never thought that the experience I would share here would be the fact that you are no longer with us. But I know you are above in the heaven and smiling because that’s just who you were. I’ll always love you and like Nick, you’ll always have a special place in my heart.
I want to thank Hot Tree Editing for the amazing work done on my book!
Huge thank you to Mayhem Cover Creations for fabulous cover and formatting!
And thank you to you, my readers, for giving me a chance and joining me on this incredible journey.
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Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
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