Be Well, Beware

by Jessie Haas

  Beware has only the old barn, full of cobwebs, and a blanket that is too big for her. She has only a vet who is miles away and Lily.

  “I’ll come down with you,” Gran says. She puts on Gramp’s old coat and tall rubber boots, and they step out the front door together.

  “Rain,” Gran says, holding out her hand to catch some. Lily holds her hand out, too.

  “Ice,” she says.

  They walk down to the barn together. How will she walk Beware now? Lily wonders. The old horse blanket isn’t waterproof. It will get wet, and Beware will get cold.

  Beware is just standing there, the way Lily knew she would be. She points her ears at them for a moment, and then her ears droop back again.

  “She’s no worse anyway,” Gran says. But Beware should be better by now. Gran is just trying to make Lily feel better.

  Lily takes a cough drop out of her pocket. She holds it close, so Beware can see. She opens the tiny wrapper.

  Beware points her ears again. “She remembers!” Lily says. “She remembers the wrapper sound!” Lily crinkles the wrapper as much as she can, and Beware’s ears stay forward. Gently she nudges Lily’s hand. Her soft upper lip pokes into Lily’s palm and fumbles up the cough drop. Crunch! Crunch!

  “Oh, Gran!” Lily says. She hunts in her pocket for another cough drop. Beware watches. Are her eyes a little brighter? Lily finds a cough drop. She crunches and crinkles the wrapper, and Beware nudges her hand, harder, this time. Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!

  “I wouldn’t give her any more,” Gran says. “Wait and see what Dr. Brand thinks.”

  A cough drop is so small, Lily doesn’t see how one more would hurt Beware. But maybe Gran is right. Beware nudges Lily’s arm, and Lily says, “No more.” And that is the first time things have been normal since this time yesterday.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THE RAIN COMES steadily. How can Lily keep Beware from getting soaked? In horse catalogs she has seen rain sheets for horses, but Gramp has only this old chewed blanket. If it gets wet, there is nothing else to put on Beware.

  Lily explains to Gran, and Gran says, “Do you have to walk her?”

  “Yes.” Walking is the only thing Lily can do for Beware, and she will not let rain stop her.

  “You could cut open a garbage bag and spread it over her, I suppose,” Gran says. Then she looks at Beware and shakes her head. “No, you’d need two or three, and I don’t know what’s to keep them on.”

  Gramp has a blue tarp folded up in the barn. Lily looks at it, but it is much too big and very stiff and rattly. It would scare Beware to have the tarp put over her.

  Lily tries to think. What else is big like a sheet, but not too big, and waterproof?

  Oh!

  No, Gran will never let her. Gran is not like Gramp and Mom and Lily. She doesn’t love horses.

  Lily turns around. Gran is leaning over the stall door. “I know, I know,” she says, and she strokes Beware’s forehead. Beware closes her eyes.

  “Gran,” Lily says. “Gran, can I take the shower curtain for her?”

  Gran turns sharply. She has “No, of course not!” all over her face. But after a moment she says, “Oh, go ahead! I suppose I should be thankful it’s not my best bed quilt you want!”

  Lily and Gran splash up to the house. Gran helps Lily take down the shower curtain that goes all the way around the bathtub. The curtain was new this spring. It has big pink flowers on it. Gran looks at it for a moment. Then she pushes it into Lily’s hands. “Take it! I’ll call your mother at the store and have her bring home another bag of cough drops.”

  Lily is still walking Beware when Dr. Brand drives in. She follows her flashlight beam down the path, and she laughs when she sees the shower curtain.

  But she doesn’t laugh when she listens with her stethoscope. She looks much tireder than she did this morning, and she looks very serious. Gramp comes into the barn while she is listening. Gran is with him.

  At last Dr. Brand takes the stethoscope out of her ears. She looks at them. “A horse this sick should be at Tufts,” she says. Tufts is where the animal hospital is, where sick racehorses go. It’s a long way away, and it’s very expensive.

  “Does she need surgery?” Gramp asks.

  “I’m starting to think she does,” Dr. Brand says. She shakes her head. “She needs something to happen soon, or she’s just not going to make it.”

  Dr. Brand’s words go through Lily’s heart like a spear. Not going to make it? Beware is here! She looks almost normal. Is she dying?

  “How soon would we need to take her?” Gramp asks.

  Dr. Brand squints at her watch. “We’ll tube her one more time,” she says, “but if you don’t see manure by midnight, I’d load her in the truck and start. But, Woody, it’ll cost you. You have to ask yourself how much the horse is worth to you.”

  Lily twists her fingers into Beware’s long black mane. Gramp might say, “I don’t care what it costs. Nothing’s too good for Beware!” Lily knows he feels that way. But when you don’t have money, you just don’t. Your feelings don’t change, that.

  “I’ll get your, warm water,” Gramp says.

  “How much would it cost?” Gran asks when he is gone.

  Dr. Brand rubs her eyes. “Around a thousand if you don’t do surgery. Probably three thousand if you do.”

  “That is a lot of money,” Gran says.

  “And surgery is risky,” says Dr. Brand. “You might pay that money and not end up with a live horse.”

  Lily’s face feels cold and stiff. Dr. Brand looks at her, and then she pats Beware’s neck. “That sounds harsh, Lily. I’m sorry. But it’s best to look squarely at these things.”

  Then Gramp comes in with the bucket, and Dr. Brand takes the twitch out of her bag. Beware shows the whites of her eyes and backs into the corner of the stall.

  “Well! Still got some spunk!” Dr. Brand seems pleased.

  When the tubing is finished and Dr. Brand has packed her things, she turns to Lily. “Keep walking her, and call me, okay? If she’s not better by midnight, call me at home.”

  Lily can’t speak. She can only nod. “Good luck,” Dr. Brand says, and goes out into the dark. Gran and Gramp go with her.

  Lily stands with her hands on Beware’s neck. Beware’s head is down, her eyes half closed. Lily thinks of the day Gramp brought her home. Lily knew right away that Beware would be hers, but Gramp was worried about her name. Why would anyone call a nice little mare Beware? Lily remembers the day she found out how Beware got her name; the day she rode with Mandy, and Beware tried to race the deer; the day of the horse show, when Beware jumped so beautifully and got a blue ribbon in the Flag Race. Is Beware’s story going to end like this? Because of some stupid piece of food stuck inside her?

  All at once Lily is angry, straight through. “Beware, you stop this!” she says. Beware’s dull ears jump forward for a second. “You get better, Beware! You be well! You are not going to die, so you just quit this!”

  Lily is yelling at Beware, in a whisper. Beware looks startled, and then she seems to get used to that sound in Lily’s voice. Her ears droop again.

  Someone is coming toward the stall. Lily expects Gramp, but it is Dr. Brand who opens the door. Her shoulders and her long black braid are covered with shiny ice pellets. She is carrying a plastic bag filled with something that looks like water.

  “I decided to try one more thing.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  THE PLASTIC BAG is like the IV Gran had in the hospital. It holds a saline solution, salt and minerals in water. “Since she won’t drink, we’ll just get this fluid inside her,” Dr. Brand says. “That might perk her up and get things moving in her gut.”

  It is dark inside Beware’s stall. The light from the aisle slants in over the door, on Dr. Brand’s wet shoulders. What made her come back? Lily wonders. What made her decide to try something else?

  “Oh!” Lily remembers. “Can I give her cough drops? This kind.” She finds a cough drop
in her pocket and shows it to Dr. Brand.

  “Does she like them?” Dr. Brand asks.

  Beware’s nose reaches between them, and Lily closes her fingers around the cough drop. “Beware, wait! I have to take the wrapper off!”

  Dr. Brand laughs. “Well! Anything she takes that much interest in has to be good.”

  “Hurry up, Lily!” Gramp says over her shoulder.

  Beware is poking Lily’s hand. Her eyes look brighter than they have all day.

  Dr. Brand hangs the plastic bag on a nail high in the wall of Beware’s stall. Now she takes out a shaver and shaves a patch on Beware’s neck. “Bring the twitch, Woody.”

  Beware snorts and backs up when she sees the twitch. But she must stand still while the fluid goes in, and that will take awhile. Gramp twists the twitch around Beware’s lip and holds it.

  Carefully Dr. Brand finds a big vein. With a quick motion she sticks in a needle. Nothing is attached to the back of the needle. Blood squeezes slowly out of it. Then Dr. Brand fits the tube from the plastic bag onto the needle. Slowly, slowly the clear fluid starts to flow into Beware’s vein. It seems strange to see the plastic bag hanging from a nail in the barn, instead of in a hospital. It’s scary, too. But at least they are doing everything they can.

  In the quiet stall Beware’s breath sounds loud. She stands still, the fluid bubbles down, and they all wait. Dr. Brand yawns.

  “Hope we don’t have to wake you up tonight,” Gramp says.

  “Me, too! You’ll have a long night, though. You’ve got to keep walking her.” Dr. Brand yawns again and flicks the flowered shower curtain with one finger. “Funny!”

  Finally the plastic bag is empty. Dr. Brand takes the needle out of Beware’s neck. “Okay, Woody, you can let go.” Gramp releases the twitch, and Beware backs away. She won’t come near Gramp or Dr. Brand even when Lily unwraps the last cough drop. But when Lily brings the cough drop to her, Beware crunches it.

  “She looks tired,” Dr. Brand says. They are all tired. Lily and Gramp help Dr. Brand pack her things and carry them up to the truck.

  “If she comes through the night in good shape,” Dr. Brand says, “if she passes manure and seems to feel better, call me in the morning.” She climbs into the high cab of her truck. The windshield wipers slap back and forth. The headlights make two dim cones out into the night and sleet. Dr. Brand drives away.

  Gramp squeezes Lily’s shoulder. “She’s a good one,” he says.

  CHAPTER NINE

  SUPPER IS MEAT LOAF, and Lily eats as much as she can. She has two helpings of potato, and she eats dessert, even though she doesn’t have room. If she is going to walk Beware all night, she has to be strong.

  Mom comes home just as Lily finishes. “Roads are slippery,” she says. That’s not good if they have to take Beware to Tufts.

  Mom has two bags of cough drops for Beware and new flashlight batteries.

  Lily looks at the clock. Half an hour before she must walk Beware again. She runs a hot bath and soaks until she is warn and pink all over. It is strange to be in the tub with no curtain around it.

  Lily dresses carefully. She puts on tights and pants, a turtleneck and a sweater, so she will be warm. When she puts on her barn jacket, it barely fits over the sweater. Gran finds her an old jacket of Gramp’s. Over that Lily puts on a rain poncho.

  Now she is ready for her long night.

  Beware stands just like before. Is there a little less water in her bucket? Lily can’t tell. Maybe there is a tiny, far-off growl in the left side of Beware’s stomach. Or maybe Lily is imagining it.

  “Come on,” Lily says. Her legs ache, and Beware’s must, too. It is cold out, with wet snow falling. The snow melts when it touches the ground.

  Beware plods with her head down. Around and around and around … Lily loses count and tries to guess how many circles. Ten? She stops and lifts the blanket to listen to Beware’s right side. Sleet patters on the shower curtain. Lily puts her hand over her other ear. She doesn’t hear the ping at first. Then it is there. But is it as loud as before?

  “Come on, Beware. Got to keep walking.”

  A tiny flashlight beam comes slowly downhill from the house. Mom. She walks around the circle with Lily and Beware. They all keep their heads down. Lily and Mom don’t talk.

  “That’s enough,” Lily says finally. She leads Beware inside and listens to her stomach. Now she can’t tell if there is any change. Beware turns her head away from the water pail. But when Lily reaches into her pocket for a cough drop, Beware pricks up her ears.

  The next time Lily walks Beware, Gramp goes with her. They don’t talk either. There is nothing to say after they have listened to Beware’s belly. “A little better?” Lily wonders, and Gramp isn’t sure.

  Then Lily goes to bed. Gran wants Mom or Gramp to get up with her every two hours. But Lily says no. “I can do it.”

  She sets her alarm clock carefully. Ten o’clock is when she will get up, but Lily has never gotten up on purpose after she’s gone to bed. Will the alarm go off? What if she sleeps through it? She lies under the covers, wide-awake, listening to the second hand tick. Sleet rattles against the house, and downstairs Gran, Gramp, and Mom are talking. About Beware? If Beware isn’t better by midnight, what will they decide?

  Gramp and Mom love Beware. Gran loves Lily. They will want to help. But do they have enough money?

  And is it even the best thing for Beware, to put her in the truck for a dark, icy drive? Sometimes it is kindest to give up, Lily knows. That is what happened when their old dog Rip was hit by a car. Gramp and Lily drove him to the clinic as fast as the truck would go. Dr. Brand looked at him, and she just shook her head and got out her needle. Quietly Rip stopped panting, and they took him home and buried him. Gramp cried, Lily remembers. Gran didn’t. But the next night she held her piecrust down, and no dog came to take it, and then she cried.

  Lily could cry now. But crying would make her feel helpless, and she has to be tough. She has work to do. She looks at the clock. Ten past nine. Lily closes her eyes and makes herself lie still.

  Ngaaaah! goes the alarm. Lily jumps up. She feels wide-awake in an instant. She dresses quickly and follows the flashlight beam down to the barn.

  Beware stands in her stall, the way she’s been standing all along. She nudges Lily’s pocket, and her eyes grow bright and soft while Lily unwraps a cough drop. But her stomach sounds no better. Lily presses her lips tight together. “Come on, Beware.” They duck their heads and trudge out into the sleet.

  After twenty circles Lily’s hips ache. Her legs ache. Beware walks more and more slowly. Is this cruel? Lily wonders. Should she give up and just let Beware rest?

  Lily lifts the blanket and puts her ear against Beware’s warm side. Sleet rattles on the shower curtain, but within Beware it is quiet—

  No, it isn’t! A big, deep growl sounds beneath Lily’s ear, like faraway thunder. Lily keeps her ear pressed to Beware’s side. A minute later she hears another rumble.

  “Beware! Oh, good girl!” Smiling makes Lily’s cold cheeks ache. Sleet rattles on her front teeth. She listens to Beware’s right side, too. The pinging sound is not so bad. The walking is starting to work.

  “Come on, Beware!” Lily says. “Twenty more circles to go!”

  CHAPTER TEN

  “HOW’S SHE DOING?” Gramp calls from the bedroom when Lily comes back in.

  “Her stomach is growling!”

  “That’s good,” Gramp says. “When you go out at midnight, wake me up.” He says something to Gran, and after a minute Gran answers. They still have not decided what they will do at midnight if Beware is not better. Lily can tell by the sound of their voices, even though she can’t hear a word.

  Waking up at midnight is hard. The dark seems blacker than before, and the house is colder. A big wind blows the sleet loudly against the house.

  Lily goes softly past Mom’s room. “Dress warmly, Lily,” Mom says. The light is already on in Gran and Gramp’s room,
and they are talking softly. “I’ll be right down, Lily,” says Gramp.

  Lily puts more cough drops in her pocket and goes down the path to the barn. She snaps on the light, and then she stands with her hand on the switch. She doesn’t want to go to the stall door. She doesn’t want to see Beware standing there no better than before. She doesn’t want to face the storm, and putting Beware in the truck, or deciding not to.

  But there is no choice. Slowly Lily walks toward the stall.

  Beware nickers loudly and leans out over the half door. She reaches toward Lily and tosses her head.

  “Beware!” Lily pushes Beware back and steps inside the stall. The deep shavings look messed up, as if Beware has been moving around. Has she been rolling? Was she pacing in pain? Lily bends to look more closely.

  Beware nudges her pocket. “Beware, quit it!” Tiredness is like a cold fog in Lily’s head. What is going on? She isn’t quite sure.

  “Well, look at that!” Gramp is standing at the half door. His green hat is squashed onto the back of his head, and he has a great big tired smile on his face. “I never in my life thought I’d be so happy to see a pile of horse manure!”

  Poke! Beware shoves at Lily’s pocket.

  “Give that mare a cough drop!” Gramp says. He’s in the stall now. His arm goes around Lily. Tears spill hot on her cheeks.

  Shove! Beware almost rips the pocket off Lily’s coat.

  “Hey!” Lily sniffs. “You’re really picking up some bad habits, Beware!”

  It is still important to walk Beware. Her stomach doesn’t sound quite normal. But it is so much better that Gramp and Lily have to catch one of the other horses and listen to compare.

  “Go to bed,” Gramp says. “I’ll do it.”