Safe Space II: The Finale

by Tiffany Patterson

  “Gimme.” I reached for the pregnancy test and made a move to get up to go to the bathroom. Feeling weak from barely eating and throwing up over the last few days, I had to lean against the bed for a moment.

  “I’m okay,” I told Xavier as he braced his hands around my waist. “I can get to the bathroom on my own.” I probably could’ve used the help, but I didn’t want to worry him.

  I entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, and felt relief as I slid down on the toilet, feeling unable to stand on my own for another minute. I read the directions on the back of the test and took out the little cup to pee in. As soon as I began peeing, a knock on the door sounded.

  “You a’ight in there?”

  I smiled at the anxiousness in his voice.

  “I’m good, but I’m going to need you to set a timer when I’m done.”

  “Okay. I’ve got my phone out already.”

  I figured he would. If I knew Xavier, and I was pretty sure I did, he’d read the directions at least ten times before even buying it. I was sure he had at least one more somewhere too.

  After finishing, I pulled up my shorts, set the cup on the counter and placed the test in the cup, so the absorbent side touched the urine.

  “Okay, set it for five minutes,” I said as I exited the bathroom.

  “But the box only says three.”

  I swallowed a laugh. “I know, but some tests take a little longer, so five minutes is probably better.”

  He did as asked, I’m sure just wanting to get it over with.

  “How about you make me some ginger tea in the meantime?”

  “You feeling sick again?”

  “I’m always feeling sick these days,” I mumbled as I made my way back over to the bed. The realization that I may be pregnant briefly distracted me from the nausea but it’d never left. And to be honest, the ginger tea did nothing to relieve it, but I knew it would help Xavier feel useful, so I asked.

  “Okay, I’ll be right back, and I’ll bring the soup up too. I don’t think you should try and go down the steps.”

  I gave no argument to that, just nodded as I tucked myself into bed and tried to will myself not to throw up again. That worked until Xavier came back up with the soup and tea. One sniff of the soup and I was stumbling my way to the toilet. Since I’d barely eaten in days, there was nothing left to throw up, so I found myself dry-heaving over the toilet on my knees.

  I was nearly ready to rest my head on the toilet seat when a warm, wet cloth was put against my forehead, and Xavier’s strong hand began rubbing circles on my back. I leaned over against his broad chest, closing my eyes and tried to catch my breath. I had no idea how long we remained like that until I heard…

  “Congratulations. You’re going to be a mom.”

  My eyes sprang open to see the positive pregnancy test in front of my face.

  “Holy shit!” I looked at Xavier, who wore a worried expression. “We’re having a baby.”

  Those coffee eyes looked from me to the pregnancy test then back to me again. I could see the smile growing in his eyes, though his set jaw still had a look of worry.

  “It’s okay, you can be happy. I’m good.” I knew he was concerned about my reaction.

  He peered at me for a few more seconds.

  “We’re having a baby.” I smiled for the first time, truly feeling excited, despite my current position on the floor in front of the toilet.

  He looked back at the pregnancy test and the tension in his jaw released. The edges of his eyes crinkled as those lips that I loved so much spread wide into the most magnificent grin. A lump in my throat formed to see how excited he was. He pulled me to him, pressing his lips to my forehead and helped me to stand up. When I nearly stumbled again, he bent down to carry me to the bed.

  “I’ll have to call my doctor in the morning to make an appointment to see how far along I am. I can probably get in tomorrow on my lunch break. Her office isn’t too far from—”

  “Lunch break?” He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “You’re not going to work tomorrow. You’ve been sick for days, barely eaten. You can hardly make it to the bathroom on your own.”

  I gave him a hard look. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah, you will, ’cause we’re going to the doctor first thing in the morning, and then you’re bringing your ass home.”

  “Xavier—”

  “I’m not bending on this. You’re carrying my baby, and you’re sick. Until we know everything’s all right with the both of you, you’re not going to work.” He said that as if it was the final word.

  Feeling too weak to argue back, I merely turned over in bed and lay down. I wasn’t planning on missing another day of work, but he didn’t need to know that just then.

  ****

  “Congratulations.” The technician in my doctor’s office smiled at us. “Let’s see if we can hear a heartbeat.” I looked over at Xavier, whose face was a mask of hesitation and eagerness as he stood over the tech.

  “Can you hold my hand?” I asked, reaching out for him. I was relieved when he moved from the foot of the table I was perched on to hold my hand. I saw the tech’s shoulders slump a little bit, relieved to not have Xavier standing over her any longer.

  After waking up this morning—after another night in which I’d gotten very little sleep, due to running to the bathroom to throw up—Xavier insisted on calling my gyno and getting in first thing in the morning. Thankfully, she was able to get me in. We came together, and I did my best to hold it together and not come across as poorly as I felt. I had managed to get down some orange juice and a few crackers, but was feeling weak. My resolve to make it into work was waning, but I still planned on going in spite of Xavier’s protests.

  The tech began probing my lower abdomen. I squeezed Xavier’s hand. He was my anchor. I was feeling so much, I couldn’t identify how I was feeling at all. He must’ve read my anxiety as he leaned down, pressed a kiss to my forehead, and whispered in my ear how much he loved me. I inhaled his natural scent, which was one of the only smells that didn’t make me nauseous these days. He chose not to wear his usual cologne, and I was grateful as his natural smell helped to bring me comfort.

  “There it is.” I heard it and turned back to the technician. My heart nearly stopped when I realized the constant thumping sound I was hearing was our baby’s. Our baby. The entire room became blurry behind my sheen of tears. Xavier’s body stiffened next to me.

  “Oh,” the tech stated, sending alarm bells through me.

  “What? Something wrong?” Xavier spoke up.

  She looked up at us, cutting off the handheld probe. She smiled, but there was something behind it. “No, just give me a moment.” She held up her finger and turned to head out the door.

  My heart rate increased, and I looked up at Xavier, who was now pacing.

  “It’s okay. You heard her say everything was okay,” I tried to comfort him now.

  “Yeah, but I don’t like the way she rushed her ass outta here. Who does that? Matter fact, let me go…”

  He was cut off as the door opened and my doctor stepped in with the technician behind her. The smile she wore put me at ease a little, but I was still feeling anxious.

  “Dr. Simmons, is everything alright?” I asked.

  “I’m going to do a second ultrasound.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes, just lie back for me.” She pressed her hand against my shoulder. “Xavier, go hold Chanel’s hand,” she ordered.

  Xavier gave her a suspicious look but did as she asked.

  “This is a little cold,” she stated, placing the cool jelly on my stomach again.

  The screen to the right lit up to a fuzzy gray and black. I’d seen ultra sound photos before, so I tried to look for the telltale signs of pregnancy, but I was at a loss.

  “There we are.” Dr. Simmons smiled as she pointed to a little black space with what looked like nothing more than a gray lump at the bottom. “There’s your
baby.”

  She did some more probing and I thought it was to try and get a better angle of the baby to gauge how many weeks I was, but the words that came out next nearly had me hit the floor.

  “And there’s baby number two.”

  I gasped.

  “Wh-what did you just say?” The question came from Xavier.

  “That’s the second baby. Congratulations, you two. You’re having twins.”

  The most delighted laugh I’d ever heard fell from Xavier’s lips.

  “From the size of the embryos, it looks like you’re eight weeks along.”

  “Wow.” I was at a loss for words. I had no idea how I’d been pregnant.

  “I’ll print out a couple of images for you to take home. Eventually, we’ll do a 3-D ultrasound to get a better look at your babies.”

  “Babies,” I whispered to myself. I still could not believe it.

  The rest of our visit was a blur as the doctor told us about prenatal vitamins she recommended, making sure I got enough sleep, water and all that. Xavier commented about my being ill, but Dr. Simmons said it should clear up by the second trimester. I was told to make sure I stayed hydrated, and she recommended these ginger pops or candies that were supposed to help with nausea.

  It took us at least twenty minutes to get out of the doctor’s office as we had to stop twice for me to throw up, yet again. By the time we were back in the car, I knew I couldn’t make it into work. I was feeling way too weak and drained, although excited.

  “Can I use your office to do a video conference with dad and Jason?” I asked Xavier as we drove back home.

  He looked at me with another side-eye, obviously not liking the idea. “You should be resting.”

  “I will. It’s only an hour or so, but I’ve been out of the office for close to two weeks now. I have to rearrange some things.” I stopped, closing my eyes and willing the nausea to settle down at least for the ride home. Thankfully, Xavier must’ve sensed my unease since he didn’t argue any further.

  My eyes remained closed until I felt the car stop and the engine shut off. Assuming that we’d pulled into the driveway at home, I opened my eyes to yet another shock that day. Sitting on top of the dashboard right in front of me was an opened case with a stunning diamond encrusted, rose gold ring. I was speechless.

  “I had planned on discussing your feelings on marriage while on the cruise, but you ended up getting sick. Saturday was when I began suspecting you were pregnant and I’d made the call to my jeweler. If you don’t like it, we can get—”

  “It’s gorgeous.”

  “Okay.” He nodded. “Don’t move.” He got out of the car.

  I watched as he came around the front of the car to my side, pulling open the passenger door. I covered my mouth with my right hand when he reached in, grabbing the box with one hand and my left hand with the other, sinking to one knee.

  This is really happening.

  “There are two things I’ve always been certain of. The first was that I’d own my own business one day. The second is that I’d have a family to pass it on to. Today, I’m certain of three things. The third is that my family is with you.”

  The first of my tears fell when he reached up to cover my belly with his hand.

  “Chanel Richards, will you do me the honor of dropping your last name and exchanging it with mine?”

  I had to laugh at the non-traditional way he asked me. My entire being filled with happiness and love. Not only did I find out for sure that I was going to be the mother of not one, but two babies, but now the man of my dreams was asking me to be his wife.

  His eyes were so filled with love, it was almost blinding. So, for once, I shut out any fears or what ifs that wanted to scream out. I said yes to love, to my future.

  Xavier slid the ring onto my left ring finger.

  “Perfect fit,” I stated.

  “I took one of your rings to my jeweler a couple of months ago. I knew this day was coming.”

  Again, I was speechless. Xavier stood, bringing his lips to mine.

  “Perfect,” I whispered over his shoulder as I held my hand out to look at my ring.

  Epilogue

  Chanel

  “You’re not about to throw up, are you?”

  I side-eyed Gabby, who looked at me suspiciously. “I knew I shoulda made you wear that ugly pink taffeta dress as my maid of honor,” I hissed at her.

  She waved me off as she strutted to me in her short, light pink robe, her hair in rollers. “You wouldn’t have done that since you don’t want your wedding photos to come out hideous. You’re not that petty. But why are you looking so despondent? Look, if you wanna pull a runaway bride, just tell me, and we can blow this joint. Or do you want to wait until you’re walking down the aisle and then pull a dramatic exit?”

  I laughed at her jokes. “I’d never do that.”

  “Good, ’cause I’m sure your future husband has this place pretty secured. That man hired the damn top-flight security to make sure he locks you down.”

  Another round of giggles spilled from my mouth. Gabby could always make me feel better. No matter the circumstances—like, say you’re only a few hours from walking down the aisle to get married, and you still haven’t finished writing your wedding vows.

  “Good. You look more relaxed. I thought you were about to have a round of throwing up.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Please don’t remind me,” I stated, placing my hand over my swollen belly and sitting on the bed in the room we’d rented for my bridesmaids and me to get ready.

  Our wedding and reception was being held at Ashton Gardens. For weeks after I first found out I was pregnant, I continued to throw up constantly, having to be sent home from work. I finally told my dad and Jason the reason why I was so sick. Surprisingly, they both were ecstatic. I think the multi-karat ring on my finger and Xavier’s promise to make me his wife before these children were born aided their excitement.

  Thankfully, they agreed to a work-from-home schedule until I felt better. A couple of times my sickness got so bad, I had to be taken to the E.R. and intravenously given fluids due to dehydration. That’s when I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. When the symptoms persisted past my first trimester, my doctor recommended a few diet alterations, but nothing helped until she prescribed what I called a wonder drug. Gabby, thanks to her doula classes, had heard of it and told me about the medicine, and I brought it up to Dr. Simmons, who said it was a last resort, but we tried it. I had to take it every night at the same time, but thank God it worked. I was in my sixth month and had regained the twelve pounds I’d initially lost.

  “I haven’t finished writing my vows,” I confessed.

  “What!?” Gabby shrieked. “You’re getting married in three hours. Why haven’t you finished your vows?”

  “I don’t know. I have some sort of mental block. Everything’s been happening so fast and between being sick, trying to regain my energy, planning a wedding from bed, working, and being excited over the babies… I just forgot about my vows—well, not forgot, but kept pushing it off.”

  “Okay, okay. Calm down,” Gabby stood in front of me, taking my hands into hers. “Deep inhale. Hold it. And release.”

  I did as she instructed, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. Gabby meditated regularly and had always tried to get me into it.

  “This is good practice for when you give birth too.”

  I groaned.

  “Okay, we’ll discuss that at another time. Take another deep breath. Now, think about how much you love Xavier, what do you feel? Don’t answer out loud, just think. Why are you excited to share your life with this man? The many months you’ve been with him, what have you learned? What do you want to continue to learn? Begin your vows there. Open your eyes.”

  Slowly, I blinked my eyes open.

  “Now, go write your vows. I’m going to give you a few minutes. Tori and Marjorie will be here soon.”

  I watched Gabby exit through the door, t
hen went and grabbed a piece of notepaper from the nightstand in between the beds. I wrote down the words as they came to mind, no thinking, just writing. When I finished, I read over my vows, smiling at one of my favorite quotes from Toni Morrison. I began to feel the calmest I’d felt all day.

  The next couple of hours were a blur of makeup, hairstyling, talking, and laughing with the women in my life. I remember the day I told Tori I was having twins like her, and she laughed, saying they must run in the family. When she asked what they were, I told her I didn’t know because I wanted to wait until I had them to find out their sexes. My husband-to-be wasn’t having that, so he knew the sexes of the babies, but he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone, including Jason or me. He’d been good about it, but we still had over three months to go. Gabby swore it was a boy and a girl. All I knew from the ultrasound was that the twins were fraternal.

  “You look so beautiful,” Marjorie smiled through teary eyes.

  I stood in the mirror, gazing at myself in my cream-colored Vera Wang, off-the-shoulder wedding gown. The top half of the bodice was corset style, but the bottom half flared out, accompanied by layers of lace and silk. My hair was pulled back into a low bun, pinned at the nape of my neck with a few tendrils framing my face. A long veil was pinned at the crown of my head and fell all the way down to the floor.

  “Thank you,” I answered.

  “Your father wanted to give you something. He’s outside.” She inclined her head towards the hotel room door.

  I looked at her before moving to the door. When I opened it, there stood my handsome father in his three-piece black and white tuxedo that matched the one Xavier and his groomsmen were wearing. His eyes watered as he looked at me from head to toe. His Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed.

  “You look so much like your mother. You’re stunning.”

  “My makeup artist is going to be pissed,” I laughed, wiping a tear from my cheek.

  “I wanted to give these to you.”

  I looked down to find a pair of pearl earrings in his outstretched hand.